Rain

9/10/18

You, you became the umbrella and sheltered me on the rainy day. You, you dropped everything and came to me when I texted you, pausing in the midst of cooking and your evening plans. You, you watch me cry on the curb of the road, watching me loath my pathetic self, for allowing the same person to hurt me over and over again. You, you drove me silently back to your apartment, mindful of the background music in your car, watching me disquietly from the corner of your eye as you watched me sob silently in the passenger seat of your car. You, you held me tight in an awkward embrace when you stopped the car, making sure that I knew you were there for me. You, you disappeared for a mere second when we reached your apartment to grab a blanket for me. You wrapped it around me and hugged me tight, trying to comfort me and squeeze the sadness out of me. You, you gently caressed me, your arms firmly wrapped around me as if trying to protect the rest of the world from getting to me and hurting me, not letting go until you realised my breaths steadied. You just stood there, wordlessly, your mere presence comforting me; your brown orbs filled with worry as you gazed at me. You, you asked no questions and just came to get me when I told you I needed you; you told me to take my time to speak whenever I was ready. You, you made my heart flutter. You, you held me tighter when I told you I ended it and chose to walk away, instead of forgiving him again; you told me you were proud of me and hugged me tighter as I started sobbing into your chest again as I recounted the words he had said to me that night. You, patiently held me tight and still for a good hour, standing there in silence with my head buried in your chest and  your arms wrapped around me. You, you proved your feelings for me in actions, not in words like him and, it felt different - good different. You, you were like the first breath of fresh air after escaping an environment filled with toxicity and smoke. You, you sat me down on the ground while you went to make dinner, watching me worriedly from time to time as I sat morosely in a corner, reflecting upon my stupidity. You, you put your arm around me and rested your head against mine, making sure I didn’t feel alone as we just sat in silence on the ground. You, you whispered to your flatmate, when he returned, to give us space and he did. You, you cuddled me and I willingly rested my head into your chest, hearing the faint thumps of your heart. You, you were happy that things ended between me and him, but you were more worried about my wellbeing; timing was always an odd issue with us, we could never make sense of it. You started telling me about trivia facts from World War II, searching up videos with unique videography on Youtube, knowing how much I enjoyed film and was intrigued by it, and sharing them with me. You smiled when I smiled, after a long while, knowing my smile was caused my you. You know, you were the reason behind my smile; a genuine smile that bore little sadness in it. You felt accomplished. You know, I don’t know why I called you instead of all my friends on campus; you stayed off-campus, with a great distance away from school but you were the person I reached for when everything came crashing down. You smiled when I told you that, happy that I reached for you. You told me not to be apologetic for calling you because you were glad and willing to be there for me, that you want to be there. You’re a sophomore, you had work to do but you willingly dropped everything to rush to me when I needed you; the mere though of that, made me smile. You know, I’m starting to lean towards you; it’s scary how much chemistry we have together. You and I, both sat in the living room of your apartment till late, watching videos and enjoying each other’s company. You told me, your friends started asking about me after spotting us together at the mid-autumn festival on Saturday; you could only tell them that it was complicated when asked about our relationship. You made me forget the void in my heart and for once, I forgot the pain he’d caused me. You know, I don’t want you to be a rebound, and you don’t want to be one too so I asked you for time and you said you’ll wait. You drove me back around 1.30 in the morning, when we reached my dorm, you didn’t want to let me go. You told me to sit and finish listening to the song with you; when the song ended, I told you I should go as we both had class early in the morning. You asked if you could kiss my forehead and, I said yes. You know, forehead kisses was the epitome of endearment, affection and probably is the most intimate form of kisses. You had never kissed a girl before, this was your first; it was soft and endearing, saccharinely innocent and pure; a warmness gushed through me as your lips met my forehead. You smiled shyly when you pulled back and, i too found myself blushing. You started blabbering from embarrassment and I found it cute, so I leaned forward and gave you a kiss on the cheek. You know, a kiss on the cheek stood for appreciation and I appreciated your presence because to be honest, I didn’t expect you to drop everything and come for me. You were chagrinned. You gave me another hug and kissed me again on the cheek before I left. You know, even though I’ve kissed numerous people before, I’ve never experienced a kiss as innocent and pure as the ones you gave me. You had the chance to kiss me on the lips but you didn’t, I really respected it because most boys would have seized the moment and made the move; I saw how you restrained yourself and it made me sway. You weren’t a boy, you are a man with maturity and patience. You are special. You, you really like me.