You

7/10/18

You’re starting to sway me. You make me smile and laugh more than I used to. You make me forget about time and put a stop to it whenever I’m with you. You and I stayed up till sunrise talking about everything and anything we enjoyed: from games to movies to trivia facts, multiple times; I’ve not done this with anyone before. You, you like me and you’re unapologetic about it, very blatant about it too. You give me the space to be myself and talk about my passions and you, you can relate to them; you actually want to hear me speak about them. You watch my eyes light up when I start talking about my likings and you watch me smile unknowingly. You say my smile makes time stop for you and make your heart skip a beat. You stare at me when you think I’m not looking, as if I’m a work of art.  You said you like girls who wear their hair in a pony and with minimal make up, who dress well; little did I know then, you were talking about me. You know I’ve a Boyfriend and you know I’m not happy but you never pressured me to do anything, except gave me advice and a listening ear when I needed one. You say your advice is biased because of your feelings for me, but I know your words were true and filled with concern; you were genuinely worried for my happiness. You told me I could do better, that I deserved better. You, you’re not the nice guy but you’re a decent guy. You and I, both sat in your car late last night or early this morning, tired and raw from the lack of sleep from the two nights, talking about the reasons why you liked me and why you wanted to date me. You were different from me; I’ve dated around while you’d never. You were shy but forthcoming about it and to be honest, your frankness and maturity are very attractive to me; you didn’t want to make promises because you said words meant nothing but said you’ll show it to me instead if I gave you the chance. You said it was wrong time wrong place; you said you’ve tried pushing me out of your heart and mind but I kept running back in. You said you’ve never met a girl who still wanted to be friends with you even after a failed confession, to know you as an individual rather than label you as a creep. You said, I was different- good different. You know, you are too but I can’t  be selfish and just dump my Boyfriend for you, I promised him a “second” chance, for the nth time; but it doesn’t work that way. You know, I’m trying not to be swayed by you but I’m starting to, my heart flutters a little more when I’m next to you; I get shy when I catch you staring at me, losing all my confidence  in that moment and your once in a while unstyled boyish hair makes me want to hold my gaze a little longer than normal because you look cute with it. You understand my lame jokes and dark humour; you laugh at the worst of my jokes and that makes me smile. You know, I know your heart thumps a little louder when you correct my stance during Badminton; when you wrap your hand around mine and place your other hand on the small of my back to correct my technique because that’s the closest you’ll ever get to holding me, that when we play mixed doubles, you worry if I’ll get hurt by Jae Bum’s smashes from the opposing side and tell him to play nice. You know I enjoy spending time with you but you know, we’re both in a bit of a bind. You know I’m confused, but you know to give me space. You said you would be waiting for me but for now, we’ll just be nothing more than Friends.