Daesung did not sleep that night. Little did he know that the entire household occupants were wide awake too. He had to suppress his urge to check on Seungri every five minutes so as to not agitate him further. He ignored his traitorous mind that whispered the ugly truth that it was because he was a coward. He did not know how he should face Seungri now and that frightens him. When dawn broke, he knew he could no longer prolong the inevitable. He dragged himself out of his room and walked straight to Seungri's room. He pressed his ears against the door but could not hear a single thing. Oh right, all rooms are sound proof for privacy purposes. He sighed heavily before heading to the kitchen. He needed an excuse to enter Seungri's room and breakfast seemed to be a valid reason even though he had never bothered to do so for the past 9 years.

However to his surprise, Youngbae hyung, Jiyong hyung and Top hyung were already settled at the dining table with a spread of simple breakfast that has already turned cold. He gaped silently at the rare sight, not knowing what to say.

“We couldn’t sleep.” Youngbae hyung answered the silent question.

“And we need to talk about everything before…before we face maknae.” Top hyung continued.

Jiyong hyung gestured him to join them without even looking at him. He was eerily depressed and quiet.

“Daesung ah. Be honest to me. When did you first notice something is wrong with maknae?” he whispered so softly that Daesung almost could not understand his question.

“When did you notice something that I failed to do so? What have I been doing all these years as the leader…as his hyung?” Jiyong scoffed at himself bitterly. “Some favourite hyung I am. Just how self-centered have I been acting all these years?!” Jiyong could not contain his anger and frustration as he tucked his legs up and burrowed his head in between his knees.

Daesung flinched at the sight of his almighty leader in such a vulnerable state which reminded him of his maknae last night. He looked sadly at his leader. He had never seen him this broken since 2011, the cursed year for BigBang.

“Jiyong hyung,” he answered carefully. “I spent the whole night thinking about this situation and I came to a conclusion_Seungri is an extremely good actor. Other than his recent weird habit of using a changing room, there is no telltale signs at all. The only reason that I was feeling uneasy is because of the unexplainable vibe I feel from Seungri from time to time. Remember the car accident in 2011? Seungri snapped me out of my misery and depression. He gave me a reason to continue living. He understand how I was feeling better than I do. He cleared my mind when I was drowning in self-loathe and guilt. He saved me but how? How did he know my feelings? How can he described my pain so accurately? Why was he so comfortable with me when I was clearly struggling with depression?

I came to an answer which I refused to accept…until I saw it with my own eyes. Because there’s no way our Seungri is depressed. He is our strong baby, our cocky and confident maknae. He is Seungri who loves attention more than anyone. Our maknae possess the brightest smile ever. One that is almost blinding. Our maknae who laughs heartily at the lamest joke. The loud laughter that is infectious. Our maknae shines so brightly that his very presence is enough to brighten my day. He’s my hero…my healing pill. So tell me how…how did this happen?!”

His question was unanswered by the rest because that was the same question that was bugging everyone. Silence enveloped the kitchen once again as each one of them was pulled into their own thoughts. Daesung was trapped in his own mind as the horrendous scene from last night replayed like a broken DVD player. He had no idea how long they stayed in the suffocating kitchen but the silence was broken by the oddly familiar cheerful voice.

“Good morning hyungs! Wow! You are all early today and there’s breakfast! Aish too bad I am running late for my schedule so I will just have a toast. Thank you hyungs and BYE!”

Seungri left just as abruptly as he entered, not giving them any time to even react. They did not even manage to take a good look at him before he disappeared from their sight.

Daesung bit his lips hard, as an upsurge of grief slammed into him like an invisible wall. Why? Why does that sound so unnaturally natural coming from Seungri? He hated this. He hated the fact that he was not reliable enough for Seungri to trust him. He hated himself for not being strong enough to protect his maknae. He hated himself for letting his maknae fall so low. He hated how Seungri was so used to this. He hated how he let him off just like the hundreds other times before.

Daesung acted impulsively as he ran after Seungri who was wearing his shoes with the toast hanging in his mouth. He collided into him, hugging him tightly from the back as if he would slipped away even if he loosen his grip just a teeny bit. He felt Seungri stiffened upon contact but relaxed almost immediately.

“Dae hyung?! Did you miss me that much? It has only been 10s! How are you going to survive without me?” Seungri chuckled.

“Stop it please. Stop pretending like nothing happened. Stop faking your smile. Stop using your laughter to dismiss everything. Stop lying to me! Don’t lie to hyung please.” Daesung wailed and buried his tear stained face into the crook of Seungri’s neck.

Seungri froze for a second before he recollected himself enough to pry open Daesung’s arms and escaped. “Hyung, I don’t know what you are talking about but I am really late now. Bye.”

And he slipped away, just like that. Nobody chased after him further as they knew Seungri more than anyone else. Seungri is a prideful man who carries more responsibility than he can bear and he needed the time and space to think. They will let him be for now. However tonight they will get their answers no matter what.