Jihyun thinks it's sad when people change too much or too drasticly. When people leave you behind because you cannot follow them anymore.

***

Sohyun changed like that, so much that she eventually started to ignore the leader's presence. From friends to strangers. Just like that. 

Jihyun did her best, trying to support all her members and help them evolve. But it hurt. When the maknae ignored her. Or talked over her. As if what they were didn't matter. As if what used to be, didn't matter.

***

There were days when Jihyun asked herself if she should just quit. Stop trying to get Sohyun back. Stop trying to help someone who refuses your existence.

Gayoon and Hyuna always kept a keen eye on the eldest member. To make sure she was alright. To make sure she survived.

***

When their promotions stopped Jihyun disappeared from the face of earth. No one could get hold of her. It was almost as if she had never existed at all. When they were preparing for comeback Jihyun returned, skinnier, paler and weaker. 

She looked sickly, her skin almost grey, big black bags under her tiref, sleep deprived eyes. She seemed to have lost atleast 10kg. Her cheek bones protruding together with her ribcage. 

Everyone was horrified. Especially Sohyun.

***

The comeback was pushed back, Jihyun needed to eat and sleep but she seemed to do neither. Hyuna's crying and begging seemed to fall to deaf ears.Jiyoon and Gayoon's pleas didn't seem to make it through either. 

When Sohyun sat down beside the sick leader. Jihyun just stared through her. "Did they force you to come?" Jihyun asked. Her voice so drained of life, the plants in the window seemed to wilt. 

Sohyun nodded her head and Jihyun laughed dryly. "Of course. You wouldn't even attend my funeral in your free will would you?" The once soft voice reduced to broken whispers spoke.

***

"Don't listen to them. do what you do best, ignore me. Pretend I didn't matter." Jihyun said. After the second day seeing Sohyun visit. 

"What we used to be doesn't matter after all, does it?" Jihyun continued, Obviously putting more strain on herself than usual. Sohyun didn't dare meet those wounded eyes. Knowing she was the cause of this.

"I believed in you.. I loved you. I would have given you the world but you shut me out... you abandoned me."Jihyun hissed, standing up on weak and wobbly legs. Slowly she advanced forwards. "I really thought you cared about me... even now. But it's obvious that what you used to tell me was all empty lies" Jihyun said. Her voice cracking as tears welled from her eyes. 

"I'm sorry..." Sohyun muttered to scared and hurt to say anything else. "Me too" Jihyun said and Sohyun let her held back tears fall.