"You're not being fair." 

He heard a tiny voice muffle against the strong gust of the evening wind, more than enough to send his lifeless, wandering mind, back to life. He didn't notice time passing, but he was fully aware of possibly causing the greatest heartache on the woman beside him, whose only soft, gentle, sobs earlier grew louder when he decided to continue his silence when she needed his response the most.

His mind was so faraway that he didn't realize that he's casually causing the greatest heartache for himself, too.

Instead, he shifted in his seat, and was surprised to see her face only a few inches away from him. Her eyebrows were creased, cheeks moist from the continuous trickle of tears. Her eyes were bloodshot, the literal evidence of crying in pain. He knew what she's going to do next, judging from the way her face is angled against his, so he quickly cleared his throat. She immediately distanced herself a little. He tasted the pang of guilt, causing him to avert his gaze and look far ahead in the horizon, a thousand miles away from Seoul.

"We both know that. Life isn't fair." He replied nonchalantly, almost as if he's not hurting, too, and still not meeting her eyes.

"I know. But we could do better than this." She said softly, almost like a whisper not directed to anyone at all.

"I think," Jiyong paused to face her, "this is the most rational thing we should do." He streched his right hand to hold her hand, drawing circles in it with his thumb.

"No matter how ed everything about me is, no matter how big of an I can get, I can assure you one thing, babe. I am not someone selfish." He paused a bit to regain his line of thoughts before continuing, "24 months is both a short and a long time, depending on how you see it. A lot of things can happen, and I'm giving you the freedom to do whatever you want."

"Chill, drink, party, go on a few dates, I'm fine with that. Enjoy youth while it lasts. And I'm not suggesting we part ways just for some bloody ing reason because who the hell am I to let go of someone like you?"

"There are hundreds, or even thousands out there, who are dying to be in my position, wishing it could be them instead of me. Telling me that I don't deserve you, trying to break this goddamn relationship of ours. But who am I against those thousands, right? You can easily find someone who'll suit you better. Someone who'll take care of you more. Someone who can take you out publicly without the fear of losing his whole ty career. You'd go out on real dates, amusement parks, movies, getaway trips, name it. You'd get to hold hands in public, tell the world how much you care for each other. Not some ing picking up at 2am when you are supposed to be resting, sneaking out in a goddamn car, avoiding paparazzis. Because that's not how you date. But that's thing, isn't it? You chose me, and that makes me different from them."

For the first time since being with her today, Jiyong felt the familiar burning sensation in his eyes. He was almost close to crying, because he knew that everything he said was the truth.

She was silent for a minute, carefully digesting everything he said, and it felt like a thousand pound of weight being hammered on his chest to see that she accepts it as the truth, too.

"But...isn't that unfair to you? You'd go and do military service for years, risking and tiring your life out, while I get to do whatever I want with my life? I can't do that." She shook her head lightly.

He playfully nudged her with his shoulder, hoping to ease the tension before saying, "Hey, I've done a lot of that already. You don't even talk to me, ignoring me for days, for living my life a little too much." 

She smiled through tears at his little inside joke. "So you're implying that...I can...go and date someone else while you're away..."

"You seem excited." Jiyong eyed her seriously, voice stern.

"Ya, that's not what I-"

"I'm just kidding." He smirked at her immediate defensive expression, pulling her closer, his arm snaking around her tiny waist. "I'm gonna do my best not to send flying grenades to whoever is it you're going to date while I am away. Just make sure he's better than me."

Taeyeon slapped his chest as a response, which made them both laugh. A comfortable silence ensued