episode 1: the drunk one





"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."


 

Yeri wasn’t sure how she ended up sitting with the other tenants in the living room around a collection of soju, rice wine, gin, vermouth and vodka. On her right sat Mina, who was mixing gin and vermouth in a cocktail glass vigorously, while she herself was chugging down her fourth shot of vodka. On her left sat Jungkook, who was gulping down soju in a competition with Taehyung to see who could drink more. Jisoo, who was sitting by Mina, gingerly took the vodka bottle away from her and handed her water to dilute the toxic substance instead.“So, Yeri, what brings you to this part of town?” Mina asked, handing her the newly made martini that she had mixed.

Yeri hesitantly took it, rolling the thin glass stem between her thumb and forefinger. “Well, my family relocated to Busan, and it was just too far away from my college. I went to a boarding school for high school anyway, so my family decided that I should move out and live on my own.” 

“Oh, what university do you go to?” Taehyung asked, emitting a little burp in the process. 

Jungkook looked at him with a disgusted expression. 

“Uh, I go to Korea university.” Yeri said, scratching the back of her neck. 

“That’s so freaky.” Taehyung’s mouth was slightly ajar, his pupils dilating and his eyes growing wider, the whites of his eyes showing. “This is like, so fated.”

“What he means,” Jungkook supplied, as Yeri stared at Taehyung with confused eyes, “is that we all go to Korea University too. What do you major in?” 

“… Bio-chemistry.” Yeri finally answered.

“Figures why we’ve never met before. We all major in business, except for Mina who’s doing dance and performing arts.”  Jungkook shrugged. 

Mina tugged at Yeri’s arm, her eyes twinkling with mischievous interest. “If you major in biochemistry, does that mean you can chemically brew me alcohol like they do in Breaking Bad?” 

“That’s crystal meth, idiot.” Jisoo snorted, sipping a diet coke.

“That would probably be better.” 

Taehyung snorted, throwing a piece of dried octopus at Mina’s head. “This isn’t the States, kid. You’ll get arrested if you engage in drug abuse here.” 

“Taehyung, I’m pretty sure drug abuse isn’t okay in America either.” Jungkook deadpanned. 

“One can dream.” 

“Drinking game, let’s go.” Mina clapped her hands together. She had a bucket in front of her, which contained a horrifying amalgamation of soju, vodka, and beer. “Basically Never Have I Ever with a shot for every finger put down.  And no, it doesn’t end at five fingers. This goes on until the masterpiece I’ve created is gulped down to the very last drop.” 

Jungkook crinkled his nose. “This isn’t high school.”

“You’re right, we’re actually legal now.” Mina nodded. “Yeri, how much alcohol can you take?”

“Um, around 3 bottles of Soju?” Yeri answered. 

“Okay, you’ll be able to take at least 7 shots of this.” Mina then turned to Jisoo, who was checking his phone. “You’re not going to join, right?”

“Yeah.” Jisoo nodded, not looking up as he texted someone. Mina looked slightly bothered, but Yeri decided it was her imagination because the expression instantly melted away and morphed into a large smile. 

“Alright, Yeri, you can start.” 

Yeri thought for a few seconds. “Never have I ever… eaten a taco.” 

“No.” Taehyung gasped, inspecting her with a concerned look. “Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure you haven’t eaten a taco before?” 

“… Yeah?” 

“You didn’t suffer any brain damage as a child, right?” 

“Taehyung, shut up.” Jungkook shook his head, as he put down a finger and reached for the soju glass filled to the brim with the alcohol bomb. He chugged it down, then gestured for Taehyung and Mina to do the same.

“My turn, right? Never have I ever ed someone at the Sunset Motel.” Jungkook crossed his arms together, grinning triumphantly.

Mina and Taehyung both let out a groan, before putting a finger down. 

“That shouldn’t even count, we didn’t even get that far.” Mina whined. “Jisoo -blocked us so hard.” 

Yeri’s eyes widened, flitting from Taehyung to Mina in disbelief. “You two had ?” 

“Wha— no! Not with Taehyung.” Mina laughed hysterically, slamming her hand onto the floor multiple times. “With a sunbae who graduated a year ago.” 

“He was a , too.” Jisoo chimed in. “I doubt he would have taken her back home had I not intervened.” 

“What a prince.” Taehyung snorted as he took another shot of alcohol. “Urgh, this is disgusting. How do you even drink this everyday, Mina?” 
 

“Magic.” Mina whispered with a jazz hands motion.

“Unless you want to die of liver failure, I do suggest you cut down.” Jungkook called. 

“Shut up.” Mina rolled her eyes. “Aight, never have I ever wanted to date Bae Joo Hyun.” 

Taehyung turned visibly upset. “… That actually hurts a corner of my soul.” 

By the fifth glass of the horrendous soju-vodka-beer bomb that Mina had concocted, Yeri was beginning to feel her mind slip and her words slur. 

“You know what happened last week? You know what’s been happening to me?” Taehyung was bawling, holding onto Jisoo’s wine-colored sweater as he wiped his nose on the fabric. 

“The only thing of importance that will happen to you is a broken ing nose tomorrow morning.” Jisoo hissed, pushing Taehyung’s head back as the boy refused to back down. “Jesus, nobody cares about your romantic failures.” 

Mina crawled over to Taehyung and put an arm around his shoulder while patting his back. “Shh, it’s okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea.” 

“There are billions of fish in the sea.” Taehyung moaned. “But there’s only ONE beautiful Bae Joohyun. ONE.” 

Jisoo, the only one sober because he hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, not even diluted beer, shook his head, pulling Mina off of the wailing Taehyung. “Considering someone like Park Bogum’s been chasing after her, I’m not really surprised that she rejected you.” 

Taehyung turned his head to Jungkook, who had been quietly sipping at a martini. “Doesn’t she work at the Velvet Café with you?”

“She’s the manager’s daughter you idiot. We went over this thirty-seven times.” Jungkook muttered under his breath, taking off his black hoodie as the heat began rising in the air. Yeri noticed how ripped his arms were. 

“Tell her that I love her. Tell her that I wish for her to be happy. I want her to be loved.” Taehyung whispered, holding onto Jungkook’s hand and putting it to his chest.

For the umpteenth time that night, Jungkook looked fairly disgusted as he pushed Taehyung away. “There are so many girls who like you, yet you fall for the one girl way out of your league.” 

“SHE IS NOT OUT OF MY LEAGUE. I CAN BECOME A BETTER MAN.” Taehyung’s voice cracked.

“Okay, Justin Bieber. Okay.” Mina snorted, sprawling on her back as she threw her arms in the air. 

“You sound like a prepubescent idiot from Jersey Shore.” Jungkook shook his head. 

Taehyung turned to Yeri, and began pulling himself towards her. She was getting too tipsy to freak out or care. He reached for her wrist and gripped it tightly, looking up at her with blank eyes. “Yeri. Do you find me… beautiful?” 

“You’re fugly.” Jungkook answered for her, before prying Taehyung’s grip off of Yeri’s wrist. “Now go back to fapping to your anime waifus before I actually kill you, you useless member of society.”

“I am so useful. I can dance. Watch me.” Taehyung declared. He jumped up from his spot and began twisting his arms and legs in strange moves, almost like Lee Kwangsoo’s rusty joint dances. 

He knocked over a bottle of half-filled soju, eliciting a scream from Mina and a pissed groan from Jisoo, who’s pant leg had become soaked with the beverage. Mina took a handful of peanuts and flung them at Taehyung, who lost his balance and fell on his with a thud. 

Taehyung began bawling harder, with Mina following suit for unknown reasons. Jungkook put his two hands to his ears, and Yeri copied him, flashing him her signature “squirtle-grin” as she began singing la la la la la. 

Jisoo simply stared at the pandemonium and opened another can of diet coke. “This is why I don’t do this ing game.”


A/N: these will be fairly shortly written episodes each. not as short as drabbles, but like a sitcom-length-ish. some might be hella long tho :D hope u enjoyed