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Kyungsoo Egg bumped (literally) into his first love on the grand conveyor belt of SM Egg Factory.  At only seventeen hours old, he had been struck by his own insignificance as he peered out into the sea of ungraded white eggs outside Hencoop #22.  He looked down at his own round belly: white, smooth, and featureless. Just like everyone else’s.  

Only a moment later, Kyungsoo’s identity crisis was cut short as the doors to Hencoop #22 were opened and he was pushed unceremoniously out by a pair of gloved human hands.

“Wait, what’s going on?” he demanded as his mother closed the gate.  “What are you doing? I don’t want to leave! No! MAMA!!!”

His mother, a hen who 1. had been numbed from years of seeing all too many of her unfertilized offspring leave, and 2. was half drugged up on chemicals anyway, barely spared him a glance. “Go along now, dear, and be careful. your skin’s looking a bit thin.”

“But I don’t want to!”

“Have fun! Send a postcard!”

Kyungsoo Egg cried the entire way down the conveyer belt. He didn’t care that the other similarly expelled eggs were giving him exasperated looks and the hens around them were clucking in disapproval. (”What was that boy raised in, a barn?” “His mother must not have stayed on an organic diet.” “Tsk.”)  He wanted to return to the warmth of the artificially heated coop and (somewhat) love of his mother. He never asked to join this mass exodus!  He never asked to be a mere cog on a machine!  He never asked to be hatched!  He never–

“Ow!” Kyungsoo Egg yelped as the belt halted, and he bumped into a figure in front of him.  For a sickening moment, he thought he’d cracked himself, but to his relief his innards were still intact and internal.  

“Oh, eggs-cuse me!” The egg Kyungsoo Egg had collided with twirled around to beam at him, apparently unconcerned that Kyungsoo Egg had nearly sent them both into an early death.  “Fancy bumping into you!  My name is Suho!”

Kyungsoo Egg sniffled, not really in the mood to exchange pleasantries. Except, oh, Suho’s skin looked really nice…

“Um…” Suho Egg wobbled uncertainly as Kyungsoo Egg stared at him with watery eyes.  “Are you okay?”

“No!”  Kyungsoo Egg’s voice cracked as more tears leaked out of him.  “I just got kicked out!”

“Oh no!” Suho Egg hurried over to hug the bawling egg.  Even though Kyungsoo Egg was distraught, he couldn’t help but notice that Suho Egg’s skin really felt as smooth as he’d imagined.  And that he smelled really fresh-had he only just been born?  And that his hug was really nice…

“Did it happen to you too?”  Kyungsoo Egg mumbled into Suho Egg’s embrace.

“Nope, I ran away,” Suho Egg said proudly.  “I asked my mother for permission, and she let me! Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah…” Kyungsoo Egg sighed.  “I wish my parents cared…”

“Well, I care,” Suho Egg assured, patting him one last time before drawing back.  “Hmm, you’re pretty cute; let’s be boyfriends?”

Kyungsoo Egg’s eyes widened and he nodded. Under Suho’s warm smile, he felt his cracked heart starting to piece itself together.  Suho leaned closer, and…

Unfortunately, the conveyer belt chose to move at that moment, breaking their tender moment.  Kyungsoo and Suho Egg were separated by the momentum, as they rejoined the sea of bobbing eggs.

“…Soo!”

“Suho….!”

Kyungsoo Egg was, once again, anonymous, with no one to care about him.

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But wait? you ask. This sounds cute and all, but aren’t Kyungsoo and Suho Egg moving a little too fast? Aren’t they only unhatched babies? Well, you must remember that our young couple lived in a world where one would be lucky to live to see a month. When your death day was dictated to you by an expiration mark stamped onto your skin, you had to seize love where you could find it–and fast.

Though Kyungsoo Egg encountered many nice looking grade A eggs–white, brown, extra-large, jumbo, etc.–after that heartbreaking day, they never quite compared to Suho Egg.  You never forgot your first love, after all. Kyungsoo Egg’s heart ached each time he recalled that kind smile and those gentle words that had comforted him at his worst hour. He wondered what had happened to Suho Egg.  Had he been cooked already? Did he think of Kyungsoo Egg, still? And most importantly, were they still boyfriends?

Kyungsoo Egg received his answer a long seven days later. Fate, in the form of a wide-eyed human male, had chosen for Kyungsoo Egg to be hard-boiled.  Baekhyun Egg had snorted and said the loser-look suited him, but then the human male had accidentally dropped Baekhyun Egg to the floor so who was the real loser now? As Kyungsoo Egg’s insides solidified under the high temperature of the 100-degree-Celsius water, he realized that this was it:

the last day of his life.

“Don’t worry.” Through the water, Kyungsoo Egg thought he could hear the male human voice humming. He had a beautiful, DESERVING-OF-THE-MAIN-VOCALIST-POSITION, voice.  “You’ll see Suho soon again…ahahaha…”

Ten minutes later, Kyungsoo Egg was loaded into a bowl with five other similarly-boiled eggs.  Around them, more human male voices chattered loudly and eager hands grabbed at them.  Kyungsoo Egg winced as a particularly energetic hand snatched him up, and he felt his exoskeleton crumbling a little.

Oh no, he was going to be very soon!  For whatever reason, humans tended to enjoy eggs sans exoskeleton. How humiliating.  Kyungsoo Egg closed his eyes and hoped his death would be quick.

Kyungsoo Egg was dropped onto a plate of other delicious smelling foods, and he took a minute to appreciate the EXTREMELY UNDERAPPRECIATED CULINARY GENIUS AND PROBABLY AN AMAZING SINGER AND ACTOR who had put together this breakfast arrangement. He took in his new surroundings.  On the plate with him was a strip of bacon, a large pancake, some potatoes, and, oh wow, another egg!  But unlike Kyungsoo, the egg was sunny-side up, and…wait.

Hold on!

“Hey, cutie.” Kyungsoo recognized the voice immediately, for it had haunted his dreams for far too long.

“Suho?!” Kyungsoo Egg gasped, rushing over to the other egg. “What are you doing here?”

“Long time no see, huh?”  Age had flattened Suho Egg’s once youthful looks, but his smile was as bright as ever. Kyungsoo Egg’s heart, though hardened by his recent boiling, felt like melting under Suho’s warm gaze.  “I missed you…baby. Ah, can I call you baby?”

“You can call me anything.” Kyungsoo Egg swallowed.  “Wow, you look so different…”

Suho Egg glanced down at his body in worry.  “Good or bad different?”

Kyungsoo Egg felt his face grow warm as he took in the olive oil glistening on Suho Egg’s white, glowing, and  body. His midsection looked firm and golden, and Kyungsoo Egg wanted so badly to touch and it…wait, was that cannibalism? Who cared. “Um,” he squeaked. “you look…you look…nice…”

“Thanks, baby.” Suho Egg winked at him.  “Now, how about you get unpeeled and we have some fun–”

BANG!

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“Wow, this looks delicious. I love eggs!” Chanyeol exclaimed as he stabbed his egg straight through the yolk, before shoving the entire bite into his mouth. Yellowish liquid dripped down onto his chin.  

Beside him, Kyungsoo’s fork clattered onto the table as he shot up in his seat. Chanyeol glanced up at the unexpected noise.

“Hey, are you–whoa, what’s with that face? Did someone piss in your food or something?”

“Chanyeol,” Suho chided before a scowling Kyungsoo could respond.  “Kyungsoo just has bad eyesight, remember? Please don’t misunderstand.”

“…uh…okay…sorry…?” said Chanyeol uncertainly as Kyungsoo continued to shoot daggers at him with his eyes.  As the rest of the group returned to their breakfast, Kyungsoo sat back down and glared at Chanyeol’s plate. Suho glanced over in worry.

“Something on your mind, Soo?” he murmured, feeling the younger’s forehead. “You look a little pale.”

Kyungsoo shook Suho’s hand off and picked his fork back up. “…it’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Suho ruffled Kyungsoo’s hair and patted his cheek, ignoring Kyungsoo’s indignant squeak.  “You know, you can talk to me about anything…ah, I wish I knew what went on inside that cute little head of yours sometimes…”

“I said I’m fine! And don’t call me cute.” Avoiding Suho’s gaze, Kyungsoo hastily busied himself with his own (egg-free) breakfast.  He sent one last distressed look at Chanyeol’s now-empty plate.

Trust me, you don’t want to know…