''well he's healthy so far but he's starting to put on some weight.'' the doctor spoke without taking his eyes off the papers.

Jaejoong smirks, ''that metabolism's not as fast as he claims.''

''you and I both know he won't accept that. Just make him play more instead of stealing icing.''

''steal icing! That dummy takes whole pastries as if he owns the place.''

''well, doesn't he?'' Jaejoong nods reluctantly. ''anyway, the point is he has a higher chance of getting overweight- overweight not obese- then cancer. You don't have to get him checked every month. Maybe once in few months is enough''

''but he doesn’t just have a family history of cancer. It’s also a bad gene of neglecting health. Yesterday he didn't eat dinner till he finished reading Copperfield.'' Jaejoong was not conscious of her surroundings as she slumped on the doctor's table and sniffed. The doctor allows her to do as she likes having known her since he treated Changmin Jr's grandmother. And having no children of his own, he cared very deeply for the two people Shim Changmin left behind. So he's somewhat of a father Jaejoong didn't have. ''what do I do~ my baby is going to get fat reading fancy books.''

''really Jaejoong? It's as if you're the kid here.'' as if to prove him right Jaejoong sniffs cutely. ''I've seen you be a mother hen with your son's father. Why can't you do the same with your five year old instead of letting him have his way?''

''he'll hate me~''

''Jaejoong...''

''okay fine I'll play bad cop so that dumb forehead can swoop in and be good cop.'' Jaejoong's ranting doesn't affect the doctor as he makes shooing motions at her telling her to let the next patient in.

''and by the way...'' he calls just as an old lady walked past Jaejoong at the door. ''he's not getting fat and Copperfield is a children's classic.''

Jaejoong lets out a growl as she slam the door making the doctor chuckle and the old lady to ask if the pretty girl can be set up with her grandson.

''hey you...'' Jaejoong smacked her son's . Taking advantage of the lack of patients Changmin was splayed on the empty bench stomach down.

''vampires...they're all vampires...'' Jaejoong rolls her eyes at her son's usual melodrama every checkup. ''they don't take that much blood.'' Changmin rolls over to face Jaejoong. ''easy for you to say. You're big. That much blood is a lot for a small boy like me.''

''oh so now you're a small boy....'' Jaejoong teases and tugs his hand to make him get up.

''nooo~ I want my blood baaack~'' he wails making Jaejoong smack his stomach this time.

''don't you throw a tantrum. I'm not above dragging you by your feet.'' Changmin sat up and looked at his mother with narrow challenging eyes. ''you wouldn't...''

''uh-huh... Haven’t you heard of when I pulled your Appa out of an all-you-can-eat buffet with the scarf he was wearing... I still have the photos the cops took of the ligature marks.'' oh yeah... He's seen the photos. Changmin has also seen the video Junsu recorded of that incident on her phone.

With a pout, Changmin raised his arms, ''Umma...'' satisfied; Jaejoong lifts her son and walks to the elevator. Two nurses there awe at Jaejoong's cute accessory. ''why they no give lollipop...'' Changmin pouts against her shoulder. ''they don't give that for a checkup.”

“they should. I’ll start a petition.”

“Don’t be silly…. Let’s get japchae on the way home.”

“Bulgogi for Yoolie.”

“nothing for Seohyun?”

“I’m not talking to Seohyunnie.”

“She doesn’t talk yet…. but I’ll still ask why?”

“she bit me. She only bites me and she gives that Uncle forehead kisses. That’s cheating.”

“She’s just teething and she bites you because she likes you, like how she nibbles her daddy’s nose. And your uncle forehe-Yoochun bribes her with brownies for kisses.”

The elevator arrives and Jaejoong walks in with Changmin. when she was gone, a figure finally comes out of hiding from the wall behind her.

Park Yoonhee had come to the hospital after her daughter’s phonecall. She knew her daughter would never accept the child so she tried to gain custody of Jiyool in vain. Yoonhee didn’t want her daughter to have a failure of a marriage like she did. Of course, she wouldn’t settle for someone less than Yunho, given his riches, fame and looks, but more than that she wanted her daughter to have a life she was deprived of. She wished Yoona would go to great heights in her career and have a man like Yunho by her side.

When Yoona called her to tell her that her deeds against Yunho and Jiyool became public, she already lost three major endorsement deals, on the verge of losing her film debut and is the centre of negative attention, Yoonhee fainted.

She woke up in a hospital and was leaving to get to her daughter when she saw the face she had never wanted to see again.

Years ago she would’ve gone and put all the blame of her daughter’s misfortune on Jaejoong. it was so easy. Jaejoong’s mother had ruined Yoonhee’s marriage, Seunghyun divided his love between two daughters when Yoona deserved it more, and when he was gone Jaejoong became Yoonhee’s burden. In Yoonhee’s eyes, Jaejoong deserved to be second to Yoona and if anything went wrong, she had to take the blame.

That was before that darn friend of hers knocked her up and took her away. with no one to conveniently shift the blame to, Yoonhee became introspective and looked into who is truly at fault.

She didn’t say a thing when Yoona called about wanting to abort her child. She let her do as she wished and didn’t want to make a spectacle for the sake of protecting Yoona’s career. When she was in psychiatric hold, Yoonhee had her daughter’s manager handle the issue instead of attracting attention by meddling. Even Yoonhee felt that Yoona’s murderous thoughts about Jiyool is extreme. However, letting Yoona do as she wanted all her life just so Yoonhee could show Jaejoong that she’s unloved became a habit for Yoonhee. Good or bad, she let Yoona do as she wanted, even supported her sometimes. Maybe appealing for Jiyool’s custody was partially to protect the child from Yoona.

She just wished she could have it easy and blame it on Jaejoong.

But seeing Jaejoong, with her son, the normalcy and the domesticity made Yoonhee wonder just what right she had to blame her for whatever is happening now. Yoonhee spoiled Yoona to the point she destroyed her marriage and career by her own hands. Jaejoong did nothing but stay out of their lives.

Yoonhee still doesn’t have any love for that girl but she doesn’t think she hates her anymore either. Not having Jaejoong before her eyes reminding her of Seunghyun’s infidelity was what Yoonhee needed to get closure. She doesn’t care about what Jaejoong does with her life nor does she blame her for anything anymore.

Yoonhee thinks it’s good riddance not just for herself, but also for Jaejoong so she could have a normal life for once.

“are five years really that long…” Yoonhee wonders as she waits for another elevator. She smiles as she answers herself. “it feels nice…” Yoonhee enters the elevator with a lighter heart.

It’s nice to let go, she thinks and decides her daughter should learn this feeling too. Yoonhee decided to help Yoona let go of Yunho and her insecurities before she helps her get her career back on track.

~~~

“These don’t look like the fabrics in the designs…” Yunho looked between one of the sketches and the ivory fabric. “That’s because I’m going to make some prints on them using the printing tech you got.” Jaejoong’s eyes showed the excitement of getting her hands on J-Style’s fabric printing machinery. She plans to make the most of all the technology they had.

“The only printing tech I got is Jiyool and her hands covered with ketchup.” And to emphasise, Yunho tugged at his shirt with the ketchup stains Jiyool had put only half hour ago.

Before they got down to discussing business, Jaejoong had made some evening snacks for everyone and that’s when Jiyool had turned painter to Yunho’s shirt.

“I’m sure Jiyong can spare you a shirt from the racks.” Jaejoong teased. Everyone knows that Jiyong never gave anyone clothes from the collection, even if it’s the president.   

“Speaking of whom, he’s snatched one of your old designs which I had got made for a coverpage.”

“What? He didn’t even ask me! I haven’t even decided what to do with those.”

“You know he does such things independently. The second he heard you signed the contract, he waltzed into my office and took the entire mannequin. The photo shoot is on Friday, with Song Jihyo I think. He didn’t tell me anything.”

“Are you the president or Jiyong?” Jaejoong mumbled, oddly reminded about the old doctor who asked her something similar that morning. “It’s okay Jae. The world will see you creations sooner this way.”

Jaejoong still pretended to be mad about not being asked. She huffed as she did unnecessary things with the fabrics. Yunho watched amusedly. He wished he could do so longer but he had to return to his office.

“Jae, I have to go. You’re taking care of Yoolie tonight right?” Yunho looked at his watch and grabbed the designs he was going to show Jiyong for further plans.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of her…” Jaejoong observed Yunho a bit nervously. She’s been meaning to ask but hesitant at the same time. Finally mustering the courage, she spoke up. “I saw the news in the afternoon…”

Yunho halted in his steps. It’s a good thing he’s not facing her right now. He doesn’t know how to face her. He really wished to put their history behind and not let it come between them but with such a public spectacle that happened, she was bound to know.

“I…uh… met Yoona today… just before lunch… I finally ended things with her… completely.”

Jaejoong nodded. “I thought so… but I really felt bad for her… I guess she tried really hard to not let everyone know so it must be really difficult for her right now.”

“I never wanted to make a scene. But I had to pick a public space. She…uh… has the tendency to get physical if she knows no one is watching.” Yunho let’s Jaejoong assume whatever she wants because he didn’t want to tell her about those times Yoona paid him a visit while Jaejoong was ten feet away. “I still tried to keep everything a hush but she forgot where she is in her anger and let it all out… I’m not apologetic because she did that to herself.”

“I never said you have to be sorry…” Jaejoong stated matter-of-factly. “Yoona always faced the consequences of whatever she did. That time she could pin the blame on me. Like when she didn’t study and didn’t make it into the school I was going to. Changmin would say I’m blind to think I’m the one at fault but the truth is… if Yoona blamed herself for all her failures and losses, she’d… lose herself, like now. I took responsibility for actions so she wouldn’t destroy herself.” Jaejoong wouldn’t call herself a martyr but she knew it was a big feat stabilising Yoona’s life by just her presence. Just look at what happened to Yoona in the years that Jaejoong wasn’t around. Her insecurities finally got the better of her and turned her into a monster.

“You're really too kind Jaejoong… I don’t know how he put up with you…”

“not like I gave him a choice…” Jaejoong reached over to the table and picked up Yunho’s phone on it. “You forgot this…”

“Ah…” Yunho stretched out his hand for it and Jaejoong went closer to give it.

Yunho’s long fingers wrapped around the phone and the delicate hand holding it. The touch felt so warm. The last time they felt such contact was a month ago when they met again. It felt so good and perfect, like everything was good in the world.

But both wanted more. There has always been a force between them that’s pulling them to each other. It’s so strong that it scared both of them but made them want to give into it too.

Yunho was the first to give up control, leaning his face closer prompting Jaejoong to tilt her head upwards expectantly. Her eyes closed in anticipation and she couldn’t help the ghost of a smile on her face when she felt his breath near her nose.

Yunho has wanted to do this since forever. He had loved Jaejoong from the moment he laid eyes on her. he felt indescribable pain when he learnt she’s with another man and felt unspeakable jealousy when she left with that man. In the time after that, thoughts of love for Jaejoong became how is she doing with that man. He was full of what ifs- what if he confessed earlier, what if he didn’t use Yoona to get over her, what if he tried to find her, what if he can replace that man.

And he remembers, he doesn’t want to replace the irreplaceable man in Jaejoong’s life. He wants to be in Jaejoong’s life.

With that thought, Yunho pulls away.

“I’m sorry…” He whispers, looking away from her wide eyes.

“Why….” Her eyes shimmer with tears she refuses to let fall.

“I can’t do this…” Jaejoong frowns at his answer. “that time…” she said, “You said you loved me… you knew I love you too. You tried to make me stay… and now, you're saying you can’t do this! was that all a lie? Did all that Yoona and I went through because of your confused feelings for nothing?”

“It’s not that!” Yunho says so loudly that Jaejoong is stunned into silence. Yunho regrets raising his voice and looks away immediately. “It’s nothing like that. I never lied. I loved you, I liked Yoona. There was a clear distinction in how I felt about both of you and it’s what made me try so hard with her idiosyncrasies. But Jaejoong, you're the one who’s on clear about how you feel for me and him.”

“What? Changmin?” Jaejoong couldn’t even fathom that Yunho would bring Changmin in this. it’s a completely different issue to her. “I love Changmin a lot, yes but just as friend. It’s not even the same as how I feel about him as the father of my son, or how I feel about you. How dare you even compare my relationship with Changmin to your twisted convenient relationship with Yoona!”

“Don’t turn this into something it isn’t.” Yunho retorted with vigour. He’s frankly offended by the way she’s yelling at him. he did the dignified thing of stopping before she regretted anything. “You don’t even understand. Can’t you see? You’re still holding onto your connection with Changmin.” Jaejoong’s eyebrows knit together in incredulity making Yunho more frustrated. “I’m not against Changmin. I think he was a good man and I’m grateful he took care of you but what I hate is how close he is to you. You want the same relationship you had with him and frankly I don’t want to accept that. I don’t want to be his replacement. I want to be in your life as Jung Yunho, not Shim Changmin.”

The hands that were holding each other broke when Jaejoong pulled away as if loathe to his touch. “You're wrong…” she clenched the hand that was held by him, as if not letting that lingering warmth weaken her. “I need Jung Yunho as  much as I need Shim Changmin. But there’s only one Jung Yunho. Changmin left me a son because I can’t imagine a life without him. you're no substitute. I have my son Changmin.” her closes over to cover the sobs that escape. It’s been so long since she let herself cry. She can’t believe she’s saying this. Her desperation surprises her that she degraded her own son like this.

Yunho felt sorry for her but he prefers she understand first. “You see that Jae… even you don’t want to believe your son as his replacement. He didn’t give you a child so you can have a substitute Changmin, he wanted you to have a part of him. Something so low as making a small child to play his role is not something Changmin would do. I know because he and I are very similar. You see that boy as your son, not him. You're fooling no one.”

“I’m not seeing you as Changmin either.” Jaejoong had put all her frustration in that statement. His thick-headedness was now annoying more than depressing. Grabbing his hand again, she started pulling him out of her studio and to the stairs.

“Jaejoong?”

“I’m going to show you… I don’t know what I did to make you think you're his replacement… but I’ll show you. My son is my son, Changmin is Changmin and Yunho is Yunho. Changmin said it himself.”    

Yunho confusedly let Jaejoong lead him to wherever. She led him to the empty workshop. Being friends with these people he’s seen this place many times now but seeing it right now, without bakers running around, it looked completely different.

The bakers had packed up and left for the day. They would leave early evening to return to work before dawn breaks. The front shop was open till the all the sales were done for the day. Yunho could hear the noise of customers making orders at the front.

Jaejoong led him to the office. Yunho’s never been there before. Just seen Yoochun in there sometimes from the window.

Yoochun was just packing up a few things. he saw the two and gave them a lazy smile. “Hey… I was just leaving….” Yoochun swung his bag over the shoulder.

“Yoochun, can I have the keys. I’ll lock up today.” Jaejoong held her palm out telling she wasn’t really asking.

Yoochun frowned as he slowly placed the keys on her hand. He glanced at the two and noticed some tension between them. that and also their eyes looked like they want to cry or have cried.

“I’ll be at the front if you need me…” Yoochun says as he heads to the door.

“it’s okay. Don’t make Junsu wait.” Jaejoong answers but Yoochun just shakes his head with a smile. “I’ll help Junsu man the cash register… and wait for a friend.” Yoochun waved at the two coolly as he left them alone.

Yunho turned his eyes to Jaejoong who was opening a safe at the back of the room. “2601… everybody who knows my birthday can open this….” Jaejoong mutters. Yunho didn’t mean to pry but he stole a glance at the contents, mostly files and papers rather than money. Jaejoong took out an envelope. Her fingers played with the torn edge of the envelope. It wasn’t meant for her but when that bratty best friend kept checking if she remembers the safe code, she became curious.

She had actually read this when she was still pregnant. Changmin couldn’t even stop her because she pulled her doe-eyes and pregnancy card at the same time. Changmin was weak at the double whammy.

“This is for you…” Jaejoong pulled out a folded piece of paper from the envelope and held it to Yunho. “I know it’s bad to read letters meant for other people but I wouldn’t know to give it to you otherwise.”

Yunho slowly took the paper and looked at it as if he dreaded opening it. “from whom?”

“Changmin…. you say you're alike right… that’s true. He’s very much like you. But you misunderstood. You're not him.” Jaejoong closed the safe and headed to the door. “Take your time… it’s for you anyway. I’ll shoo off Yoochun…and Yunho…” Jaejoong looked hesitant but she decided to just tell him. “After you read that… I will accept whatever you decide. Nothing has to change immediately.”

Yunho didn’t miss Jaejoong’s sadness in her voice. like she hoped that he would stay with her. but even Yunho can’t guarantee that. Rushing would be a bad idea. But he would like to have a clearer relationship.

Jaejoong must’ve expected he will read the letter in the office. But the loneliness in that place was disconcerting. He took the keys she left behind and locked the office door.

Yunho went up the stairs to the top floor. Entering the apartment, he heard the sounds of the television in the living room. Yunho tried to be as quiet as possible but Changmin still looked behind from the couch to see who’s there.

Yunho held a finger to his lips and Chan