Author’s note:

Hi, everyone. I hope all of you are doing well wherever you are. (This is kind of a double post, please read the previous chapter if you haven't)

I can’t believe I manage to finish this story. It takes me almost four years (and a lot of hiatus and a lot of near give-up) but whoop, here we are at the end.

First of all, I want to say thank you to each one of you who has been giving me encouragement through your comments (here/on twitter/personal messages). Without seeing your reaction/thoughts on my work, I guess it would have been a lot less fun to write and I would have given up a long time ago.

You guys make writing so much more fun :’) I got a lot of good friends from here too!

I see that some very first readers from 2016 are still here today. But a lot have probably gone on with life and left Kpop. I’m also excited to see new people from time to time :’)​​​​​​

When I started this story, I thought I knew what depression was, having read about it on my textbooks and whatnot, but when it finally hit me on 2018, I was astounded with how much I didn’t really understand it.

If you notice, I was gone the entire 2018. It was because I just wanted to well, off myself.

I was working hard for something since the start of 2017, but March 2018 I heard that I failed. The rest of 2018 flashed like a bad dream and if anything, my family kinda just made it worse.

Those words Seulgi and Yura said to Irene when she tried to kill herself, I wrote before 2018. In 2018, while going through my own suicidal thoughts, I reread it and I felt like it wasn’t enough to cheer me up. It probably wasn’t enough to cheer Irene up either.

Then I started rethinking everything I have written about her character. If you notice, I always went back to edit some of the older chapters, fixing the errors in my thoughts/ideas.

I learned a lot from 2018, but still, I’m sure there are some things still lacking from this fic. If you find anything off/wrong, please let me know so I can fix it. I really don’t want to offend anyone.

Another important note is : not all people with schizophrenia behave violently. I have said this on foreword, but I’m saying it again. Not everyone with same diagnosis has identical manifestation in real life. A lot of people with schizophrenia are not violent.

The house burning scene was actually based on one of my patients’ story back when I was still in school. I talked to him a lot and learned about a lot of things. He is also probably the only patient I still remember up to this day.

Anyway, now looking back, I’m glad I didn’t quit my uh, life. I’m still not my happiest now, but things are just…so much lighter compared to last year.

And hey, I have a girlfriend now, yay.

I hope everyone reading this unnecessarily long note is doing well and is remembering to push through during difficult time…

And I hope everyone who notices any friend having a hard time will reach out to help them too.

God knows what would have happened to me if people didn’t reach out to me last year.

Anyway, here is a short epilogue I present to you as a gift for going through this incoherent ramble.

I will see you around in my one-shot collection, because I honestly don’t think I can handle writing another ongoing ever. Look at me taking so many years just to finish this one lol

Bye everyone, I will see you around!