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Myungsoo POV.
 

“CUT!” the PD called.
 

They call it “Behind the Scenes,” or BTS for short, but it’s scripted. All of it. They tell the public and our fans that this is the real us. But the real Infinite is hidden yet behind the “Behind the Scenes.” Every time I think about this, I want to throw up. Every time I think about this, I want to head over to the PD and smack her upside on the head. But I grew up knowing to never raise my fist—especially to a woman. That lucky PD noona.
 

“L-ah!”
 

Woohyun-hyung...every time I talk to him, instead of throwing up, I want to throw him a punch. I wish he’d stop.
 

I turn around to face him catching his breath. “That was daebak!” he pants.
 

I just nod in reply. It’s not that great, actually. He’s lying. Maybe. I can never tell. The cameras aren’t even on. If he stopped, I will probably enjoy talking to him for a change, instead of wanting to shut him up. It’s a good thing he’s our main vocal. If not, I think I would have probably cut his tongue off already. His tongue never seems to tire of rolling around in lies—in front of the camera or not.
 

“Hyung, aren’t you tired?” I ask him.
 

“Not really,” he answers.
 

I sigh.
 

“Are you tired?”
 

I nod. I’m very tired.
 

It has never affected me. At least not yet. I think it’s because it’s my role to be quiet. Being the quiet one means being the liar less often. It makes me wonder if Woohyun-hyung lies even inside his mind. It’s highly possible.
 

My silence is not a lie. Not really. It’s just exaggerated. I’m not as quiet as I make it seem. It’s just that sometimes I forget that I can talk. That is, as long as the cameras aren’t rolling.
 

I’m labeled as the “mysterious” one in the group, and I hear that I have the biggest fanclub. But sometimes I wonder if the fans only find me mysterious and likable because I’m different, because I don’t lie as much as everyone else. It’s not like they know about all the lying, so I hope that’s not the case. That would be unfair to the others. It’s not like they want to lie too.
 

It was when “Myungyeol” and “Myungjong” were officially established that I began to talk more. And to our fans, this is “opening up.” I’m not opening up. I’m doing the opposite of it actually. I only talk more now because I’m given more things to lie about. But since I hate lying, I modify a lot of the things I have to lie about. I wonder if the CEO noticed it yet.
 

I think one of the manager hyungs rushed Woohyun-hyung and I to the van after the make-up was cleaned off of our faces and arms. I’m not too sure since the next thing I know, we’re already driving away.
 

“Aish, chincha,” Woohyun-hyung stretches beside me and then leans over to my side to lie on my lap.
 

“Yah, hyung!” I complain, hitting him, but he doesn’t get off.
 

“Did you guys get hurt anywhere?” Jungryul-hyung asks us from the driver’s seat. In the BTS, our fans will see the “pains” and “difficulties” we went through for the filming of this MV. But our groans of pain and such are all staged. We didn’t get hurt. Not at all. Even the “accidental punches” are fake. If our fans ever find out that our pains and aches are all acts, there will be two kinds of responses: (1) they’ll heave a sigh of relief that neither Woohyun-hyung nor I actually got hurt, or (2) they’ll get angry. I hope they don’t get angry though. If only they know how much more difficult it is to act hurt rather than actually be hurt.
 

I catch Jungryul-hyung’s eye in the rearview mirror and shake my head.
 

“Ahhhhhh~ I’m just really tired~” Woohyun-hyung says from my lap.
 

I frown. “You said you weren’t tired earlier!”
 

“I lied.” Woohyun-hyung’s eyes are closed, but he’s grinning up at me. Maybe he’s lying now. I really can’t tell with him.
 

I continue to look down at hyung and I guess he feels me looking at him and he opens his eyes. “Wae?” he asks.
 

“Aren’t you tired?” I ask.
 

“I just told you that I was really tired! Now let me sleep!”
 

“I meant about lying.”
 

“Mwoh?”
 

“Nothing. Go to sleep.” I slap my hand over his eyes.
 

“Aish!”
 

I catch Jungryul-hyung’s eyes again. I just smile at him before looking out the window. He doesn’t say anything. I don’t say anything. And Woohyun-hyung falls asleep. It’s a quiet car ride.
 

Jungryul-hyung doesn’t lie to us. He just tells us what to lie about. He knows I hate it though. Everyone hates it. But it’s not his fault. We chose this.
 

We all chose this for ourselves. I mean, I don’t think anyone regrets it. I don’t regret it. No, not at all. But I just absolutely hate some of the things that come along with it. But I don’t regret any of this even just a little bit.
 

Many people argue that idols are not talented. Oh how wrong they are. Being an idol requires more than just talent. Being an idol requires being a convincing liar. Many people say that not everyone in the industry can act. They’re wrong in that too. We are all acting. We are acting every second we are in front of a camera. We even act and lie among ourselves. That’s why it’s not just Woohyun-hyung. The truth is hard to tell with almost everyone in this line of work.
 

They tell us to lie, and we do it. We lie not because they tell us to. We lie because we’re idols.
 

And being an idol itself is a lie.

~

[NOTE: Is the story all over the place? Yes? GOOD. It should be >:D I’m trying the “stream of consciousness” approach. Can we ever really think in a straight line? Nope. That’s why Myungsoo just starts talking about one thing then another without transitions. It’s his own mind, it’s not some kind of formal essay.]