“I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

Mina’s eyes are made of fire and steel and Jihyo has to fight herself not to look down.  Mina is a tiger and Jihyo is locked in the same cage with her.

Oh, this was a bad idea.

“You lied,” Mina sneers and Jihyo doesn’t think she has ever heard the other girl so angry. It makes Jihyo feel small. She can deal with many things, but anger isn’t high on that list. Not when it is directed towards her. So, she tries to dodge the bullet as best as she can.

“Is this about the text message? I know I-“

“You know what I hate about you the most?” Mina says, cutting Jihyo short like a fencer. The leader can only stare, shocked to hear something like this coming from Mina, out of all people.

Mina pauses for a dramatic effect, letting the question hang in the air.

The most?

“You always act like you know better than anyone else,” Mina’s accent is thick now, but the message stays clear. She takes a step closer to the older girl, pointing her with an angry finger. Jihyo can feel the door behind her back, smooth and impermeable.

“And like the rest of us can’t even take care of ourselves,” Mina says and crosses her arms. Jihyo feels numb, like she is watching a show so spectacular and horrible that she can’t even react to it anymore. It’s too much to process.

Jihyo tries to protest, but Mina won’t let her.

“I don’t need a mother, Jihyo. I’ve already got one,” Mina stumbles over her words slightly, talking too fast.

“And I certainly don’t need your pity or protection.” Jihyo thinks she can see tears in the corner of the younger girl’s eyes, but the light in the room isn’t very bright.

“You really don’t have anything I need,” Mina says and sounds like she is trying to convince herself and not the girl in front of her. She is becoming erratic, like she is fighting two battles at the same time. One here, and one somewhere else.

Jihyo can see doubt in Mina’s eyes that is taking over anger. Maybe she can see the effect her words are having?

“I don’t need you,” Mina’s voice is just a whisper anymore, words long and faint.

It hurts.

But since Mina seems to be losing speed, so Jihyo interposes.

“What if I need you?” she asks, hating the tiny, needy Jihyo that spends most of her time hiding in darkness, but deciding to take the center stage now.

Don’t cry Jihyo, don’t you dare to cry.

The words seem to agitate Mina.

“Let me out,” she spats, lunging for the door. But the leader stays where she is, blocking the way like a dam. A small, unsure, frightened dam.

“Not until you tell me what has gotten you so upset.”

Mina takes a step back, realizing that she is not getting out that way, but not admitting defeat. Her shoulders are hunched, like her whole body is curving into a ball. It makes Jihyo feel like an attacker.

“Let me go,” Mina whines and this time Jihyo can clearly see the tears.

“No,” Jihyo can feel her own mouth twisting as the emotions spill over. She refuses to let go of this until she understands what is going on. Mina might be stubborn, but so is she.

The Japanese girl turns her back on the other girl, holding herself. Jihyo’s heart breaks at the sight and she takes a step closer, desperate to connect and soothe.

If Mina left her now, she feels like she might die. Why can’t everything just go back to normal?

 She lifts her hand and touches Mina’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” Mina cries, but it sounds too desperate, too needy.

“Please. Mina.” Jihyo takes another step closer. She has the upper hand now, but still the damn tears won’t stop falling.

“Don’t,” Mina whispers, but it sounds a lot more like ‘please’. That’s when Jihyo knows the fight is over.

“Why do you keep running away from me?”

They are standing so close now that Jihyo can hear Mina as she swallows tears. She doesn’t answer.

“Am I really so horrible?” she continues, sliding a hand down Mina’s arm. She wants to hug the other girl so badly that it almost hurts, but doesn’t want to do anything that might upset the Japanese girl even more.

“Miguri?” she whines quietly, ready to fall to her knees and ask for forgiveness if that is what it takes.

Say something.

“You’re not horrible,” Mina whispers and it seems to come from far away. Slowly, she turns around and faces Jihyo.

Mina looks like a wild thing, tears in her eyes, anger on her lips and questions on her brow.

“What am I then?” she whispers, heart beating like a drum.

“You’re…”

Mina seems to have a hard time finding the right word, and Jihyo could swear that there is a shadow of a Japanese word on her lips before she continues.

“Lovely,” she says, clearly unsatisfied with the word, but unable to come up with anything else at the time being.

Lovely.

Suddenly