Christmas Day:

Hyosung looked over to her clock. It was early morning now and she still had not been able to sleep. Her mind plagued her with the memories of last night. She still felt the warmth of Kikwang’s lips on hers and she missed it terribly. It had only been a few hours ago but after that moment that they shared, she felt different in every way, especially when it came to Joon. She felt horrible for what she had done and how she managed to still hold his hand.

Hyosung sat up in her bed and sighed in frustration, deciding that she should do something to keep busy. She made her way towards the living room and found it gulfed in darkness. Joon had stayed the night but as she the light, she found the couch empty. She looked for him all around her apartment but found no signs of him. It wasn’t until she looked at the front door that she finally found a clue. She saw a note taped to the front door. She pulled it off and read it.

‘Hyosung-ah, let’s go on a Christmas date. Let’s meet at the town park. 4pm’

Hyosung stared at the note in her hand with a frown. She found the note endearing but couldn’t help the guilt she felt. She placed the note on a small table and went to check on Hyuna but she was also gone. Hyosung remembered that she said something about having to work today. Hyosung sighed and went back to her room. She sat down on her bed and looked over to her night stand table. She opened the small drawer and pulled out another small note, smiling as she looked down and saw a phone number.

“What’s this?” she asked in a small whisper.

Kikwang smiled and blocked her that no one could see their small exchange.

“It’s my phone number. Call me when you need someone.”

He pulled back and shook her hand once more as Joon made his way over.

“Goodbye Hyosung-ah, thank you for coming to our Christmas party. Oh! Goodbye Joon-hyung.”

Joon smiled at Kikwang and reached out to take Hyosung’s hand. She quickly balled up her hand to hide the small paper and grabbed Joon’s hand with her free hand. She cast a small glance at Kikwang and saw his troubled expression, his gaze resting upon their joined hands.

Hyosung looked at her phone for a while before finally deciding to put them both away in her drawer for the time being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Min felt Kikwang’s arm wrap around her and pull her closer. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was sleeping but his face was scrunched up in discomfort. He mumbled words that she could not understand. She looked at his arm and thought about what to do. She thought about how she used to love being in his arms, but now, she didn’t really feel anything. His character was changing too. He used to be obsessively possessive and she liked that about him, at least to an extent. He changed into someone who was maddening and she noticed a big change in him one night when he came home from work. Nowadays, he was distant but he still tried to show her some affection. Maybe they were just going through a rough patch and maybe she did love him but for now, she thought of Hong Ki. She wondered what it would feel like to be in his arms. Would he be the same as Kikwang?

The thought of Hong Ki made her smile. She didn’t know she would be so attracted to him and that he would feel the same way. He had almost kissed her and even if really would have kissed her, she probably would not have done anything to stop it. She looked over to Kikwang’s sleeping face and turned away from him. She slipped away from his arm and placed it back on his side. She stood up from the bed and made her way out into the kitchen. She looked at the clock and saw it was already past noon. She looked over to the corner in which she spent most of last night…with Hong Ki. She smiled at the thought of him. She really did not know what to do know. She heard the bed room door open and moments later, Kikwang walked in.

“It’s noon?” he asked, his voice very hoarse.

She nodded. He walked up to her and placed a kiss on her cheek once more and she almost frowned. It had been a couple of days now and she suddenly realized that they hadn’t really kissed since that night he noticeably changed. Min watched him as he went around the kitchen before he finally sighed.

“I’m going back to bed” he said and left.

She waited until she heard the bed room door close before she let out a sigh and touched her cheek. He had almost kissed her in the same spot that Hong Ki did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Hyosung stepped out into the street, the snow started to fall. She looked up in wonder. She was heading out to meet Joon and she couldn’t help but wonder why the snow chose this moment to fall. Was it the heavens trying to tell her not meet him? She watched as the snow disappeared onto the already white ground. She had dreamt of falling snow and she had read once that falling snow could mean frozen emotions and feelings. She decided to ignore her thoughts and continued on her way towards the park. It was a short walk but for her it came long and heavy with every step. She had been wrestling with her mind and heart the whole day. Her emotions plagued her and her heart couldn’t let go of her moment with Kikwang.

“Hyosung-ah.”

She looked up and saw Joon standing in the middle of the park. Once again, she was in front of him. His smile was wide, his eyes were bright and his arms were spread out, waiting for her. Kikwang’s arms could probably never spread out for her ever again. She walked up to him but she hesitated to go into his open arms. He noticed this but merely stepped closer and hugged her.

“Are you cold? Should I hug you more?” he asked.

She didn’t know how to respond and so she merely said nothing and just wrapped her arms around him. He laughed and pulled away, immediately grabbing her hand.

“Let’s go on our date. I have something special planned for you.”

“Really? Like what?” she asked, trying to smile at him.

He smiled widely, stopping to look at her closely.

“I can’t tell you! It’s a surprise!”

Hyosung couldn’t help but smile. She truly didn’t deserve Joon.

Joon pulled her along towards a small picnic table. She gasped at the sight of rose petals and candles. She noticed a small basket and a little speaker. He rushed over to the speaker and plugged in his phone and let the music flow out. He went back to her and pulled her gently towards the small picnic table. She sat down and he sat down across from her. He opened the basket and pulled out wine, two glasses and plates of food. She stared in amazement at all that he had prepared. He poured some wine for the both of them.

“To us” he said and lifted his glass.

Hyosung lifted her glass and managed to give him a smile. She couldn’t seem to say any words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kikwang checked his phone for what seemed like the millionth time. When he gave Hyosung his number last night, he told himself not to get his hopes up but as he stared at the screen, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He rubbed his temples out of frustration. He didn’t know why he had even given her his number. He was only setting them both up for heartbreak. He sighed and just decided to toss the phone aside. He glanced over to Min who was sitting on the couch watching television. He hadn’t really talked to her in a while and he didn’t know how to approach her now. No matter how he looked at it, he knew he had cheated on her and even though he wanted to justify his actions, Min didn’t deserve this type of treatment. He made his way over to her and sat down next to her. She didn’t say anything to him and continued to look at the television.

“Why are we suddenly like this?” she asked.

He turned to her but she didn’t take her eyes off the screen.

“I don’t know. I was crazy about you” he replied.

She turned her head towards him.

“Was?” she asked.

He glanced at her expression and immediately turned away.

It was quiet for a few minutes and then he looked back at her but she spoke first.

“I don’t want to break up” she voiced, as if reading his mind.

“Then what do we do?” he asked, his voice rising.

She turned away from him, standing up.

“We stick this out together and try to work this out” she replied and walked away.

Kikwang stood and followed her.

“You won’t look at me and you won’t talk to me. How are we going to work this out?” he asked.

She stopped walking and turned to look at him, tears in her eyes.

“Because we just have to!!”

They stood, stunned and speechless.

“Do you still love me?” he asked.

Min didn’t know how to reply because she just didn’t know if she did love him anymore.

“I think I still do” she replied.

That answer made his stomach clench. He was sure he didn’t love her anymore like he used to but she still did. He was leaving her behind when she still wanted to hold on to him. He felt horrible. He knew that he was all she had. She had no family and depended on him for protection and love. Even though they had only been together for less than a year, they were swept away by lust and love and became deeply attached. She always played games with him but at the end of the day, he knew she would still come to him. He thought of Hyosung and his heart hurt even more. He could never be with her because she also had someone who loved her. He stepped closer to Min and hugged her tightly. He didn’t speak because he knew he would tell her he didn’t love her. He just hugged her closer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hyosung laughed as Joon fell to the ground, completely disappearing into the snow. They had been having a snowball fight and he somehow ended up falling through the snow. She waited for him to re-surface but there was no sign of him getting up. She carefully went over to him and looked down at the hole he had created.

“What are you doing?” she asked and kneeled down next to him.

“Staring up at the sky, trying to figure out something.”

“And what would that be?” she asked, playfully hitting him with her last snowball.

He smiled and finally sat up.

“Close your eyes” he said.

“Why?” she asked, a little skeptical.

“Just” he replied.

Hyosung frowned but decided to close her eyes anyway. She heard him moving around before she felt his cold lips on hers. He quickly pulled away.

“Open your eyes” he whispered.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, instantly gasping. He sat across form her, a smile on his face, his hand outstretched with a ring in a box. She felt like the world had fallen onto her shoulders.

“I know we’ve only been dating less than 2 months but I love you Jun Hyosung. I want to express that love for the rest of my life.”

She slowly looked at him, a blank expression on her face. She tried to show him happiness but she felt too vile to even fake it. He saw her eyes and instantly, his face changed. His smile disappeared and his hand slowly went down.

“What’s wrong Hyosung?”

His voice was serious. She opened to speak but nothing came out. Her eyes darted across his face and her vision began to blur. She stood up.

“I’m sorry Joonie, but I can’t marry you.”

She felt her tears slide down her cheeks and she quickly ran away from him. She continued to run until her legs collapsed underneath her and she came crashing down onto the concrete. She looked and saw that she was in Kikwang’s neighborhood. She pounded her fist down into the ground and continued to cry. No matter what she did, her heart always led her back to Kikwang. She slowly stood up. Her legs ached from carrying her so far. She pulled out phone, against her will.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kikwang jumped at the sudden ringing of his phone. He glanced over to Min but she was sleeping soundly in his arms. He pulled away and went in search of his phone. He found it on the kitchen counter and answered it.

“Hello?”

There was no answer.

“Hello?” he asked once more.

He heard quiet breathing on the other end and just when he was about to hang up, the person spoke up.

“Kikwang-ah…”

His eyes widened at the voice.

“Hyosung-ah?” he whispered, afraid that this was a dream.

“Kikwang-ah…”

He could tell she was crying.

“Hyosung-ah, what’s wrong?”

“I…I’m down in the lobby.”

That was all he needed to hear. He hung up his phone and quickly darted out his front door. He rushed towards the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. He ran down 4 flights of stairs, bursting through the door and ended up in the lobby. He desperately looked around and finally spotted. He ran to her, stopping a few inches from her. She looked at him, tears in her eyes. He didn’t ask questions and just hugged her. She cried into his chest.

“He asked me to marry him…I said no.”

Kikwang didn’t know what how to feel. He held on to her a little more, his hand making its way towards her cheek. He lifted her face and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there as he spoke.

“I wanted to hold you like this. All day, I thought about holding you.”

She closed her eyes, savoring the warmth his arms provided her and the sound of his voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joon felt as if his heart would literally break into a million pieces as he watched Kikwang run to her and hug her. He watched as she cried and then as Kikwang kissed her forehead. Joon winced from the pain in his chest. He had run after her, hoping to stop her and figure out why she had rejected him. When he saw her head inside the building, he wanted to stop but something told him to continue.  As he watched the scene in front of him through the glass door, he never wished more that he had never run after her. He felt the tears in his eyes and did nothing to stop them from rolling down his cheeks. The box in his hand now burned. He cast one last look to the pair inside the building before he backed away. As he walked down the sidewalk, he felt something within him breaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! My heart!!! It is breaking!!! Curse myself!!! I don’t know who I feel more sorry for in this chapter. Everyone is hurting and everyone is just breaking down! GAH! Please don’t brick me!

*****Chapter song inspiration time!! So this song is so sad to me. I was actually lucky I found this song by pure luck. I’m not going to lie, I almost cried just hearing this song.