The One Where Everybody Becomes a Bit Stupid

My Roommates are Idiots
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“Wow. This place looks…ordinary.”

Anna turned to give Junhoe a disapproving glower. “Be nice. You can’t judge a restaurant just by the way it looks. Besides, didn’t you say that the food is supposedly really good?”

He grunted in non-agreement and looked down at his phone. “Where is everybody anyway? The house isn’t that far from here—”

“Hey!”

The two of them turned to see Bobby leading the group of boys from the sharehouse; Yunhyeong and Chanwoo were determinedly walking a fair distance apart while Jinhwan and Donghyuk made sporadic small talk.

Anna waved back and held up the plastic bag of strawberries. “Got these for dessert.”

“Great.” Yunhyeong accepted them gratefully and smacked a fresh ten thousand won bill into her hand. “Keep the change.”

“Hope you guys brought cash,” Junhoe said, leading them into the restaurant. “I’m only providing the discount.”

Everybody muttered their consent, but then Donghyuk began patting down his pockets with an increasingly anxious frown. “Ah, dang it. I think I left my wallet on the kitchen counter.”

“Say no more.” Bobby waved his wallet in the air. “I’ll spot you.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

The group was seated at a table, and Bobby engaged Anna in conversation. Since she was seated between Yunhyeong and Donghyuk, they occasionally offered their input too.

“Hey, do Mr. and Mrs. Kim know that we’re having dinner out tonight?” Anna asked Jinhwan.

“I let my mom know. She was okay with it.”

“I feel bad,” Anna frowned. “Had she prepared food already?”

“She didn’t get very far when I told her. She said she’d make just enough for herself and my dad.”

“Don’t worry, Saerim,” Donghyuk chuckled. “We’ll be back for dessert, and Yunhyeong hyung can make his strawberry shortcake.”

“Does anybody know if Hanbin hyung’s coming?” Chanwoo asked out of the blue, and Anna checked her phone.

“It seems he’s read the messages…” She took note of the absence of the little number beside each of the chat bubbles, which indicated how many people had not yet read them, “but since he hasn’t replied, then I’m guessing he doesn’t plan to show.”

“And I’m not complaining,” Yunhyeong added. “Have any of you guys had a conversation with the dude?”

Everybody shook their head except Anna, who debated whether him paying for her snack last night could count as a “conversation.” Deciding that it didn’t, she shrugged.

“He’s like a brick wall. You say something, and he doesn’t react. I asked him how he slept one morning, and he just finished drinking his water and walked away. I almost began wondering if I’d actually said anything aloud.”

“Rude,” Chanwoo grunted.

“Twin Monster One supports Twin Monster Two’s commentary,” Bobby whispered so that only Anna could hear, and she bit the sides of her cheeks to stifle her laughter.

“He’s your roommate, isn’t he?” Chanwoo turned to Bobby. “How is he on the nights he does spend in the sharehouse?”

“Actually…” Bobby scratched the back of his head, “he spends every night at the sharehouse.”

“He what?”

Everybody blinked at him in disbelief.

“Why do I feel like somebody’s been breaking into my home without me knowing?” Jinhwan muttered.

“Yeah, he always gets back from school really late,” Bobby explained, “and leaves before anybody gets up.”

“Does he hate us that much?” Chanwoo blinked at Yunhyeong, who made a face back at him.

“Even I don’t like seeing you around much. Imagine how he must feel.”

“Twin Monster Two doesn’t appreciate Twin Monster One’s existence,” Bobby whispered, and this time, Anna couldn’t stop the snort that escaped through her nose.

“What’s so funny?” Yunhyeong frowned at her, and she shook her head.

“It’s nothing.” She set her water cup down on the table in front of her. “Anyway, I ran into Hanbin at the convenience store last night.”

“You did?” Bobby’s eyes turned wide. “What did he say?”

“Well…nothing.” Anna shrugged. “He helped me pay for the Pringles I wanted because I was short some money.”

“He’s capable of being nice?” Yunhyeong blurted, and everybody gave him an amused look.

“Okay, he seems cold, but he also doesn’t seem like a douchebag,” Bobby said in his defense. “I mean, he doesn’t make it a point to be noisy as hell when he comes and leaves the room while I’m asleep; he’s always really quiet.”

“Then how do you know he comes in every night?”

“Because his pillows and stuffed animals are always rearranged when I wake up.”

“Yeah, and Mrs. Kim says he leaves early in the mornings after having breakfast,” Anna added.

“I feel weird talking about a guy we don’t even see.” Donghyuk made a face. “Can we focus on something else?”

“You mean like…what we’re gonna order?” Junhoe held up the menus. “I’ve been waiting for y’all to quit the gossip and decide what you wanna eat.”

As Anna accepted a laminated copy of the menu from Junhoe, Donghyuk muttered, “You’d think he hasn’t been enjoying the gossip himself.” Anna bit back a smile as she perused the options.

“What’s the coupon good for?”

“The all-you-can-eat barbeque menu…but that’s hella expensive.”

“If we all chip in an equal amount, then it seems it’ll be reasonably affordable,” Anna mentioned. “We each have to pay twenty thousand won to make it work.”

“Yeah, that sounds doable.” Bobby pulled out his wallet to peer between the folds. “I have just enough to cover both Donghyuk and me.”

“I’ll pay you back later tonight, hyung.”

Once the waitress had come by to collect their menus and turn the grills on, regular conversation started up again.

“How was orientation for your lab today, Saerim?” asked Jinhwan as he disinterestedly flicked through the alcohol selection available.

“It wasn’t bad.” Anna shrugged. Could’ve been better, though. “I met the principal investigator of the lab I’ll be working in.”

“Any responsibilities given to you yet?” asked Donghyuk. “How many other university students are working with you?”

“Just one for now, I think.” Anna involuntarily winced. “I don’t think I made a very good first impression, though.”

“What makes you say that?” Junhoe leaned across the table to listen in on the exchange.

“I…kinda stared at her. For a really long time. Without meaning to, but…” Anna buried her face in her hands, “it happened anyway.”

“Yikes.” Chanwoo whistled under his breath.

“I mean, she’ll be understanding, right?” Anna laughed uneasily. “People get caught zoning out while accidentally staring at someone all the time.”

“Not…really.” Donghyuk rubbed the back of his head. “Koreans hate making eye contact with strangers in public. It’s actually perceived as pretty rude.”

“Oh, geez.” There goes my chances of becoming friends with this girl. “Well…first impressions are hardly ever ideal. I’ll have to see how much forgiveness she’s willing to offer me in the end.”

“Is anyone down for some soju?” Jinhwan interrupted, holding up the alcohol menu. “The first three bottles are on the house for parties of six and larger.”

“I can’t drink,” Chanwoo griped, leaning back into his chair.

“And I’m not that big a fan of drinking,” Anna added.

“C’mon, a couple drinks may help get your mind off of today’s awkward encounters,” Bobby coaxed with a grin. “I’m down for alcohol.”

Everybody mumbled their consent, Anna begrudgingly so, and the first serving of meat was placed on their now-hot grills. The sound of grease frying on the burning metal surfaces mingled with the casual conversation between the housemates, and the first three bottles of soju were delivered just as the pork belly was completed.

“Cheers to a sharehouse camaraderie,” Bobby announced, holding his shot glass of soju in the air, and everybody (except Chanwoo, who held up a cup of water,) followed suit.

“Cheers!”

Anna downed her soju in one large gulp and grimaced at the bitter aftertaste. I wish I could have Lydia’s sweet fruit cocktails instead. Lydia always mixed their drinks with some soda or fruit juice to significantly disguise the sour and burning taste of alcohol, considering the fact that they both were inclined to drink sweet beverages than bitter.

“Feel any better yet?” Donghyuk asked, setting his shot glass down on the table.

“No. It was one shot.”

“We need to get some more into your system.” Bobby pried open a new bottle of soju and held it out towards her empty glass. “Here.”

“Is this wise?” Anna asked nervously. “We’re not…all gonna be drunk by the time we leave, are we?”

“Relax,” Junhoe chuckled, downing his third shot of soju. “I have extremely high tolerance.”

“What do you mean, the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me?!” wailed Junhoe, his head cradled on Chanwoo’s lap as he bawled fat tears of grief from the corners of his eyes; his legs were swung upward onto the dividing border between their table and the next. “Dogs don’t deserve death! They don’t even deserve the best that humans can give them!”

“I know.” Yunhyeong sniffled. “I didn’

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RealisticOptimist
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Comments

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kiarrahmah #1
Just came back from a really long hiatus. I really miss iKon. Gonna catch up with your awesome story here.
Marimaru #2
Chapter 13: Wow, loving the story!! (First time comenting??) I like how you wrote it naturally. I almost can see me and my friend​s when we were Freshmen. It feels good to read.
About your piercing, I had one in my ear since I was little. When I get my second itbwasn't as bad as I thought. Now I get my third, one month ago, and my father hadn't even noticed it ??
Caisoo
#3
Chapter 13: Hanbin's ringtone as 'Cheer Up' XD
tough-cookie
#4
Chapter 13: I loved that drunken people scene hahaha reminds me of the time when I was a freshman in med school when my friends and I were drinking ((my friend made me recite the Krebs cycle to prove myself I was just tipsy and not yet drunk lol)) :))) But it was nice that they had a sort of bonding time, they finally get to share albeit a little stuff about each other. And I can't wait to see how Hanbin handles them
ChiShika
#5
Chapter 13: Ayeeee one of my friends got some mad piercings without telling her parents too xD it didn't turn out that bad tho, she survived! Haha but OMG WHY IS ANNA SUCH A CUTE DRUNK?!!! She's so adorable omg TT
-jhope
#6
Chapter 12: omg!! congrats on your research paper!!!!!!!!
tough-cookie
#7
Chapter 12: Congratulations on the research paper!! <3
And I can't wait for Hanbin to actually interact with them and stuff.

And yeah I wasn't big on ikon's releases this year too but oh well, it happens. I just don't understand all the hate they're getting recently? (or has it been there for quite some time idk i've been out of the loop since last school year and just waiting for releases and stuff ((mostly day6)))

And my faves would be "airplane"/"apology"/"long time no see" from ikon, "empty"/"color ring"/"tonight" from winner and "stay" from blackpink
tough-cookie
#8
Chapter 11: You updated! And she finally but not officially met Hanbin!

Good luck on working your way to med school! Sincerely, from a sleep-deprived med school sophomore <3
IlaaayVIP
#9
Chapter 11: Reached this chapter! Gotten too attached with this fic~
My dream job? An artist; someone who paints a lot, or maybe an idol(?) haha~ i don't know honestly~
Fighting author nim! Thanks for this update <3