quick announcement for those who read my other stories "blue" and "stay": about my another story stay: the third chapter is definitely coming out pretty soon so please wait for it. also if you read or used to read "blue" here's smth that would make u happy: i'm actually writing an additional chapter even though i marked it complete. so look out for that. also this chapter is really small because i didnt know how to develop the chapter any further. sorry.

“Hyung.” – Youngjae mumbled with an unreadable expression on his face. Yoongi couldn’t tell whether it was happiness and excitement on Youngjae’s face or it was sadness and exhaustion.

“Youngjae, I…” – Yoongi started again, trying to say something, anything and everything he’d been holding onto. But just as Yoongi was about to explain himself something Yoongi had never imagined happening and something Youngjae swore he’d never ever do happened. Youngjae without even thinking about it glued himself onto Yoongi’s chest, hugging him as tightly as he could.

“I’ve missed you so much, hyung.” – Youngjae whispered into Yoongi’s chest. Without himself even realizing it, Youngjae started to cry. Tears were uncontrollably pouring out, wetting Yoongi’s thin layers of clothing that he picked out with his mind somewhere else, which was he ended up in a muscle tee with a random cardigan on and some black skinny jeans he found laying on his bedroom floor.

“I’ve missed you too. So much that words can’t even describe it.” – Yoongi sobbed, holding onto Youngjae as if he would disappear right from his arms any second now.

“I never want to let you go.” – Yoongi whispered, still holding Youngjae in his arms.

With their arms around each other and with salty but happy tears dripping from their already swollen red eyes, Youngjae and Yoongi stood in the small park for what it seems like ten hours. Yoongi still couldn’t believe that Youngjae was actually with him at the moment with his arms wrapped around him. He couldn’t believe that Youngjae for the first time in two years actually responded to him rather than just ignoring him or yelling at him and telling to ‘ off’. Youngjae couldn’t believe how much he had missed being held by Yoongi, how comforting it felt to feel Yoongi’s warmth against his skin, how at home it felt to have him clutched to him. Youngjae for the time being didn’t care that he swore to never ever let Yoongi manipulate him ever again, or that he promised himself not to make decisions based on his emotions. All Youngjae cared about at this very moment was how cozy and homely it was to stand right here with Yoongi.

“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed us.” – Yoongi said after a while, grabbing Youngjae’s shoulders and distancing Youngjae from himself to take a better look at his donsaeng. Yoongi loved Youngjae’s brown soft locks that were way to silky not to play with it, Yoongi loved Youngjae’s brown eyes that used to contain so much joy and happiness but were now filled with sorrow and misery. Only then did Yoongi actually realize how bad Youngjae had it for the last two years. Only after seeing Youngjae’s worm out face and his gloomy and depressed set of eyes with two huge dark circles below them did Yoongi actually understand why did Youngjae try to end his life with a kitchen knife on that damned day or why did Youngjae actually call him before slashing his wrists asking if Yoongi still remembered how he promised him to buy a big castle for them to live in. Yoongi started to cry. He cried as he realized how awful of a hyung and friend he had been for the past few years. He cried as he recalled all of the times he ignored Youngjae’s calls and text messages just so that he could some a few more minutes doing a dance move that he knew by heart. Yoongi broke down in front of Youngjae feeling guilty and stupid for taking Youngjae and his friendship and love for granted.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae.” – Yoongi sobbed kneeled down on the ground in front of Youngjae.

“I’m sorry I was so ignorant, Youngjae. I was too damn prideful and ing stupid. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” – Yoongi kept on apologizing. Youngjae just stood in front of him, with his eyes shut tightly, sniveling at Yoongi’s apology.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae, I didn’t know.” – Yoongi repeated.

Before all of this, before Yoongi started to weep in front of him, Youngjae never knew that he never wanted to see Yoongi so miserable and vulnerable. He never knew that he never ever wanted to the great and emotionless Yoongi’s tears pouring out of his beautiful pair of eyes that used to be filled with ambition and passion.

“Hyung, stop. I don’t want to see you like this. Stop. Get up.” – Youngjae weakly commanded, grabbing Yoongi’s hands so that Yoongi could stand up. But Yoongi couldn’t. He felt like a filthy sinner and couldn’t bring himself to even look Youngjae in the eyes.

“Hyung, stop crying and be the unapologetic and fearless Min Yoongi you are.” – Youngjae said, still unable to stop his tears.

“How can I be unapologetic when I have done so much wrong to you, Youngjae? I shouldn’t even be here, Youngjae. I’m too guilty in front of you to even be breathing the same air as you. I’m sorry.” – Yoongi continued to sob still with his knees on the ground and head held low.

Youngjae kneeled down in front of him, holding his head in his hands and wiping his tears. Yoongi still couldn’t look at Youngjae.

“Hyung, don’t blame yourself for my stupidity. Stop, hyung, it’s painful for me to see you hurting.” – Youngjae said, as he caressed Yoongi’s wet cheeks. Right then and there, as Yoongi was sobbing out of quilt on the ground, something neither of them expected to happen happened – Youngjae softly pressed his lips against Yoongi’s. Youngjae, with his fingers gently holding Yoongi’s face, connected his lips with Yoongi’s.