His Trainee
The Sleepless Phoenix Review & Consulting Shop [CLOSED]Author: Manlyluhaniie
Story title: His Trainee
Story type: Chaptered
Reviewer: vronvron
Review completion: 8/4/2016
Overall Story rating: 8/10
Title: [8/10]
The title is unique, as there are no other stories with the same title. And although it is relevant to the story, I feel as though it wouldn't catch my attention as much as it could.
Foreword/Description: [9/10]
Your description is well written, other than a couple minor typos. It gives the readers a background about Juyeon before jumping into the story, but also gives the readers a sense of what the plot is and what the story will be focused on.
Having the short bios about the main characters and supporting characters helps the readers visualise the characters and what their relations are with one another.
Plot/ character development:[9/10]
I think that the speed of your story is actually quite nice to follow along with. The character development isn't too rushed and the plot seems to be well paced as well.
Characterization: [9/10]
The overall characterisation of the characters so far are really quite good. You gave all of them pretty unique characteristics and it's easy to differentiate between them.
Grammar/Syntax:[8/10]
Most of your grammar was good, although there were a few typos here and there, but also a few punctuation errors. They were only minor however, and easily fixed if you read over what you have written. The format of your story is easy to follow, although one thing I must mention is that with every new speaker, you should start a new line/paragraph.
Vocabulary: [8/10]
Your vocabulary fits well with the story and also makes it easy to read, yet at the same time, keeping it somewhat sophisticated when need be. Although the CEO isn't a main character, when he speaks, I feel that you could maybe change the way he speaks into somewhat more formal language.
Setting/Description: [7/10]
The settings are pretty vague in their description. The locations are all very relevant to the story, but to really help the readers visualise the setting and where Juyeon is, I think that more setting description is needed.
/Conclusion:[10/10]
Since the story is nowhere near finished, but it's going at a very good pace right now, I believe that your and Conclusion should be awesome!
Enjoyment:[10/10]
I enjoyed the story so far very much and will continue to follow it!
Total: 78/90
Thank you for using our services, I hope you are satisfied with your review and I'm sorry that some parts may be a bit short or if I seemed a tad harsh. However, I do hope that it assists you in some way. Don't forget to credit our shop in your story and comment below.
Good luck with the rest of your story ^^
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