For once in your life, have you ever felt happy in the embrace of a certain person, and then somehow let yourself see how that happiness eventually rot into something of lesser value, something that becomes unimportant as time passes by -- something that becomes merely a silhouette in front of your eyes?

I know it's something completely absurd and harboring that kind of feeling makes you gain all the hate from the world but... what can you do?

What can I do?

A lot of people say that you can never dictate what a heart wants.

And yes, it is pretty much a fact, I can tell. Because it .

I should be hurt, seeing my once beloved's eyes pleading me to stay.

I should be thinking twice, whether or not let it bloom back to its old blossoming beauty, being with him.

I should be trying to hold on, despite how my fingers are struggling, almost crumbling at the hold of his soft hands.

I know I loved him. I really did.

But right now, I can't.

Somehow, I find myself staring into the eyes of someone else who revived the old beating of my heart.

It's probably something that'd cause a turmoil of many, knowing how it's all so sudden.

Maybe it's because of the way he effortlessly captures a good impression of the many talents he's been awfully blessed with. Maybe it's the way he would genuinely cause that curl on my lips right after captivating me with his infamous dimpled smile. Maybe it's because of his poor humour that'd still pull out the strings of laughter from my throat simply because his idea of a joke's so pathetic, I could just laugh. Or maybe it's also how I could feel the silent comfort in his presence, soothing every fibre of me in ways even my mind cannot explain -- the subtle pats on my head, the funny faces he'd make, the most disturbing moments happening within phone calls and text messages and even the way he'd choke on his food whenever a random topic goes on in meals.

Everything is a mess.

A huge wrong mess.

Because technically, I know for myself, that it's not supposed to happen.

But one night came, and one thing for sure was it's not all that special.

It was one of those times when everything was not going as planned.

A body reeked of exhaustion; a mind drowned in a storm of clashing thoughts; a heart baffled of wrong emotions....

Everything came to a full blur.

Everything, except for the way his eyes would gaze deeply into mine, reflecting all the warmth and bare emotions hidden in thick shades of black glimmering under a faint light. How my heart was pounding of anger because of the bad things and the tears streaming down my cheeks, and then he'd let them all flow and dry out until they're all gone -- doing nothing but letting his fingers remain fondly interlaced with mine, as we sat side by side, faces tilted slightly upwards in the accompaniment of the moon reigning the dark skies up above.

I nearly ended the last strings of my life that night.

But my lover wasn't there for me.

His brother, Choi Junhong, was.

A/N: ....... the ending's kinda random I know but omg ;; this ship is sinking and I kind of imagined this with yookjoy (sungjae being her lover) and ended up with joylo cheating on him together lol //stabbedbecauseiwillbeforeverbiasedasfvck// but oh well! I'm planning to update my joylo fics soon ;u; (yay)