The explanation as promised

The time before the accident

Basically, Jonghyun has had his sense for a long time. It started somewhere around his teenage years. First, it was a few he felt, but later it became worse when he finally understood wat was going on. The discovery that he had this… thing was confirmed whenever he tried to interact with people. 

Jonghyun was a healthy, lively person, he went to high school without any problems. Friends were always standing next to him, just like Taemin, the boy he had known almost his whole life. Taemin and Jonghyun were the best friends, basically almost two brothers.

Taemin and Jonghyun never had any problems. The thing is, Jonghyun kept his thing hidden from everyone, including his own family. He thought it was weird, images from scientists flooding in his head whenever he thought about revealing it to anyone. 

Afraid to be judged, bullied or ignored he started to avoid psychical contact as much as possible. He hated how he felt how other people felt, it was as if he invaded privacy that he didn’t ask for. Little things as no handshaking, avoiding PE and hugs were a good start. Unknowingly he also taught himself how to wear a mask, keeping his own thoughts and feelings from everyone else to not let them know a thing.

It came to an extent where he didn’t go out with his friends anymore. Watching movies, going to the club – no. Not anymore. He didn’t care, though. Jonghyun learned to appreciate he loved the silence and loneliness too because that’s what was going to happen if someone of his friends found out. He believed for sure they would abandon him.

It worked well, Jonghyun’s avoidance to his classmates and family. His family believed it was the puberty while classmates started indeed to bully him. Jonghyun just shrugged it off, his mask only becoming more and more solid. Friends tried to make some contact once in a while, but Jonghyun refused every meeting after school. To make it worse, his grades dropped drastically at the same time, giving him more reasons to shut himself off, with the excuse ‘’I need to study, leave me alone,” to his parents.

Taemin and the accident

Even though Jonghyun was separating himself from social life, Taemin was still in the picture. The younger was three classes under him, which means he didn’t know what was happening. Of course, he noticed the changes but when he addressed it, Jonghyun changed topics as always. Taemin just goes along with it without asking questions. Jonghyun is thankful for that, his trust for his best friend bigger than ever.

Because his school grades were horrible, he wasn’t so surprised when he failed his final exams. Being eighteen at that time, he chose to get a part-time job and move out of the house. The relationship between him and his parents worsened every day. Because he had been distancing himself so much from his family, discussions were unavoidable what made him more tired and drained, though he kept reminding himself that everything he did was a practice for his own shelter. His protection, his mask for the mistake that was cursed upon him.

Jonghyun and Taemin were still good friends when they decided to play a ball game outside. It was alright for Jonghyun because you wouldn’t have to touch the other. Just stand far apart from each other and kick the ball while the sun rays are your skin. Perfect.

The clouds were hiding the sun behind them, the shadows slowly embracing the grass field when Jonghyun kicked the ball too hard. Taemin, of course, ran after it, only to realize too late he ended up on the streets when a car was approaching him. Jonghyun saw it in slow-motion, how his friend froze from the shock, how the car was screeching when the driver tried to stop, and how Taemin’s loud cries echoed between the houses.

Jonghyun really tried to carry him off the streets – he didn’t know what he was doing anymore, he didn’t care, even though his whole body felt like dying whenever he tried to reach out to his friend with the intention of helping him.

The driver was wounded, he stopped too hard, hitting his head on the wrong place what caused him to black out. Ambulances were on their way while Jonghyun still tried to do something. 

Jonghyun stayed in the hospital. He refused to tell his parents about what happened, explaining he wanted to tell the details together with Taemin. 
When Taemin woke up from his surgery, Jonghyun was the only one present at that moment. Jonghyun cried a lot, finally explaining his secret part to Taemin. The younger wasn’t so sure what to believe, but he just goes along with it. When the nurse came into the room Jonghyun’s mask only hardened to diamond when she told Taemin couldn’t use both his legs anymore for the upcoming years. 

Until the present day, Jonghyun still blames himself for the accident. 

After the accident


Jonghyun fought with his parents that day, after a heavy discussion about what actually happened. When he told his mother, he broke down, hoping somewhere in his heart that she would actually believe him. He made the mistake to hug her, the anger, frustration and unbelieve not the things he wanted to feel – but he did. 
This was the last straw – Taemin, the accident, his friends, school, and family. He blamed his sixth sense for everything, the hatred towards it immense. 

Even though he just lived on himself, Jonghyun visited Taemin in the hospital every day while he was recovering. The first weeks goes well until Jonghyun showed less up. In the end, Jonghyun denied every contact with the younger. Afraid of some other disaster to happen again, Jonghyun chose to cut ties with every single person he knew. For his own good.

Months pass, Jonghyun didn’t have any fun in his job – sorting web orders in a factory – and every day was boring, his negative side showing too much to his liking. He actually wanted a diploma, another job where he was comfortable and maybe spending some money on a nice vacation. 

It was just another free evening that he was studying when the bell rang. Jonghyun thought he saw a ghost, not believing his eyes when Taemin in a wheelchair stood for his door. Of course, Jonghyun tried to send Taemin away, but the younger seemed to be on the edge of tears when he whispered how glad he was when he saw his best friend was okay. 

Jonghyun and Taemin talked a lot, until deep into the nights. Taemin told his side of the story, knowing that the elder didn’t feel like talking about too personal things. Somewhere between the words Jonghyun finally understood that Taemin tried to accept him for who he was. That Taemin wanted to believe his friend and support him no matter what. The boy behind the mask decided that the younger was the only one who would ever know about the personal information, trusting him with everything he told Taemin.

The boys started to build their friendship again, and Jonghyun was more thankful than ever when Taemin didn’t talk about the past anymore but only looked forward to a brighter future. The future Jonghyun was still trying to build on his own, studying every free hour he had to boost his knowledge in the hope he could be accepted into school again.

On his first try, he was actually denied from joining, though Jonghyun insisted that he could do it. They gave him a few tests later in the year – and finally, he was accepted in the middle of the semester. 

The same semester and class where he’d meet Kim Kibum. 

I swear I can sleep peacefully now I've written everything out of my mind. Also I wanted to write more about them what happened after the story but then again, I think I should save that for future drabbles.

Thanks for sticking around with me and have a nice week <3 And don't forget to support Jjong's album :3