Jihoon regretted it.

Permanent marker stained his once cream-colored bedroom walls, the posters of his favorite singers lost in sight, his bedsheets were very neat—they never were—his warm plus cold December evenings were freezing him to no end.

Jihoon sighed and tears fell from his eyes.

Was this what Soonyoung felt when he's always being pushed away by Jihoon?

"Jihoon." Said guy was startled all of a sudden, his sudden jump from his seat made everyone in the room jump too. Seungkwan was the one who called him, and he looked at his dear friend with a lot of sympathy. "Jihoon, are you okay?"

"I—" Was he okay? He knew he wasn't, but lying to his friends now and then had become a routine. They always gave in to his lies, whether they know if they were being fooled or not. But as the words "I'm okay" escaped Jihoon's mouth Seungkwan rolled his eyes and hissed.

"Don't tell me you're going mad now that Soonyoung is not by your side anymore?"

The way those words left his mouth gave a sharp blow to Jihoon. If he answers yes, then Seungkwan's mouth won't stop until Jihoon tears up in guilt. And if he says no, Seungkwan would still do the same.

"I know I messed up, but it's over. It's done."

He knew from the very start it's not over.

Jihoon was staring at nothing in particular, fogs of breath escaping his lips from time to time, a pen skillfully gliding under his fingers, and a notebook was in front of him on a desk. He was in his room, his eyes outside to who knows what or where. This was his sole spot whenever he was sad, or plain lonely, but tonight, he had a feeling that Soonyoung was just there. Outside.

"I miss you." He chokes on his own tears. Soon he started sobbing, bawling even, and a waterfall made itself seen on his perfectly sculpted face.

Christmas was just around the corner.

Jihoon and his family were eating in a faraway restaurant, chatting here and there and laughter filled up their table. He wasn't enjoying the getaway but his family of five was.

As he took a hesitant bite of the tempura looking pitied toward Jihoon, his eyes scan the outside world from the window he was situated.

He dropped the fork on the table.

"Jihoon, are you okay?" His mother looked at her son's line of sight. "Soonyoung? Why don't you invite him over? I haven't seen him for—"

"Excuse me." He wiped his mouth and sprinted away.

"No." Soonyoung closed his eyes. It was such a bad idea for following Jihoon somewhere he didn't know. To be more embarrassing for himself, he followed the guy whom was with his family. And now Jihoon saw him. And his heart was breaking once again and feeling light at the same time.

He stood still, back on the huge window. He was sure as hell Jihoon was already outside. It was freezing, but he didn't care.

"Soon—"

"Go back it's freezing."

"Are you kidding me? Then what about you?!" Soonyoung turned around.

The once color on Jihoon's face was long gone. He didn't know when it left him, but it has always settled in Soonyoung's mind that he could've been more livelier now that he left the other's life for good. Soonyoung looked at Jihoon from head to toe.

Since when did he look not handsome?

"Damn it." He turned around again. "Get back in Jihoon, I'm leaving."

"No! Wait!" A warm hand latched on his cold wrist, his throat felt dry and he stood frozen. "I—"

"Jihoon—"

"I'm sorry!" The tears were back again. "I'm sorry for pushing you away Soonyoung. I don't know what has gotten into me. You know I don't like clingy people, but when you left—" He choked. The first snow was falling and Soonyoung doesn't know if he should feel happy or not. "—I realized I couldn't live without your annoying side. I know, I know, regrets are always in the end. But I really regret this time and I don't know what I'll do with my life if you're not in it!"

Stop Jihoon! He's not coming back to you! Your friend's not coming back!

"I'm really sorry Soonyoung." He let go of the said man, his suit was covered in snow and ice as he felt his knees betray him. He cried in his hands but he didn't care. Soonyoung has to know that he was regretting every single hurtful word Jihoon said.

"I'm an idiot. And I don't expect you to forgive me. I just want you to know how sorry I really am!"

"Stop." Soonyoung sighed. The cold was hurting his lungs. "Please, just go back and—" He doesn't want to cry. "Go back and have fun this Christmas, okay?"

"Soonyoung? Where are you going—Soonyoung!"

"You both are idiots!" Seungkwan slapped his forehead so hard he saw stars for a while. "I can't believe—ugh! What's up with the both of you?!"

"Boo, calm down." Seokmin pulled the guy down. He looked at Soonyoung lying face down on his bed. "And you just left? Just like that? I'm not trying to say you're at fault, but you just left him crying