“Oppa”

“Huh..”

“Is there something you want to say to me? Something you're disappointed with?”

“Little by little there have been some disappointments. But looking at the scenery, they seem to dissipate.”

“Really? If you have any, tell me. If there's something to apologize, I will.”

“You.. in the past, you liked everything. But nowadays you like to joke around.”

“It's not like it. I'm comfortable with oppa. I really like it.”

“Isn't that too comfortable?”

“I've told you before I want to get married to someone who is like a close friend. That's why I like to joke around.”

“You're still there? That means you can't come to our dinner date?”

“Deh. Mianhe, oppa. When we are about to shoot my part, the rain start pouring. We have to postpone it.” She sounds apologetically over the phone.

“Can't they push it until tomorrow? It's nighttime now. Maybe you can just push it for tomorrow?”

“We can't. This is episode is scheduled to air on Tuesday.”

“Arrasso, arrasso.” It's saddening and frustrating simultaneously. I know she's busy with her shoot now that Lady Min's character is getting more important. But seriously, she missed our concerts and dates 3 times in a row already. “Seungyeon-ah. Am I really important to you?” Ouch. I sounded childish and irritated more than I planned.

“Oppa,” her voice is mixture of disbelief and sadness. “Don't be like that. It's not that I like thi--”

“Yeah, yeah. You have to shoot, right? Go now. Don't delay the schedule. After all, we have to practice for tonight. Yonghwa-hyung asked for another round.”

I quickly turned my phone down. That's a lie. A big, bad lie. We had our practice a while ago and Hyung gave us some break. I'm at my home right now. Getting ready for our supposed dinner date at her favorite gop chang restaurant. Instead of leaving home, I slumped hard on my sofa.

Given the stillness of my surroundings right now, it can't be helped if I my reflections would start. I knew I sounded rude with her. She's trying her best to make a new for herself in this industry. For years, she's been working hard to audition here and there. I promised to understand her situation more but at times likes this when I miss her so much, I can't hide my disappointments properly. And at times like this, I get angry with myself for being childish.

When was the last time they had argument at this intensity? I can't remember. We always had arguments and debate on small, petty things but with the way we compliments each other, we usually patch it up immediately. She's a really understanding person and I really thank her for that. Her tolerance on my mood swings is really commendable. I felt guilty too that's why I endeavor to adjust myself to her as well.

And then I smirked. A sudden gush of memories came running in my head. Yo remember that time when we had our first para-sailing together in Jejudo? At that time I realized several important things on Seungyeon, on myself, on our relationship then and how our relationship should be.

We had some time before the production team can pull out heading for our villa. Parts of the memory is kinda blurred and I can't remember what I am doing at the time when Seungyeon approached me discreetly. We were sitting away from the attention of crowd – in other words, we had a form of privacy.

“Oppa,” she said as she sit beside me. “You want some misugaru? You told me you like this so I prepared some for us?”

“Jinjja?! Kamsahamnida!,” I gratefully received her offer and we had some fun talk before things got a little more serious.

“Oppa,” she started when silence finally came between us. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. What is it?” while drinking the last drop of my misugaru. It was really delicious.

“A while ago, you said that little by little, you had disappointments with me.” I listened intently. I am sure where this is leading into. “May I know what are those?”

“Eyyy… Seungyeon-ah. It's nothing. Just brushed that off aside. Nothing good will come out if we discuss it. They are minor things. Nothing to be bothered about.”

“But I'm curious. Or rather, I'm bothered.” She looked at me directly into my eye. Those amber eyes that I couldn't resist. Through which, she easily manipulates me between her fingers. I looked down to resist the temptation of her eyes.

“When we agreed into this marriage,” she continued, breaking another awkward silence, “I promised you and myself that I'll try to become a good wife.”

“But I said that you are. You got 100 points from me remember?”

“I know, I know. But also know that you are being considerate of my feelings.” She started to draw imaginary lines on the ground through her foot. “But I want to surpass that 100 points.” I slowly looked at her again as she also did. “I mean, I want to be someone Oppa can be with through good and bad times. May it be friends or more than that. God knows what will happen after we end this program. But still, I care for Oppa a lot that's why I believe that I have to grow as a person to do that well.”

Saying all those sweet words while looking into my eyes is like punishing my heart with death penalty. To describe how fast my heart beat at that moment and how touched I was that I even want to cry. Wow! She's now like the heavenly bodies I admired so much that I cry just by looking at them. Fortunately, the sun had set at that time. I could feel my blood rushed to my face.

Realizing how determined Seungyeon was, I gave up.

“You,” I began. “You like making me feel things that are so foreign to me.” Now, it's me who is carving things on the ground. “It seems you are having fun making me jealous using Woobin-hyun and Jin Goo. You were jealous because of baseless things.”

“Baseless things? Like what?”

“You remembered that time when we had our first pitch together in Mokdong stadium. We were role playing a scene set on a beach. You said that I had women before, applying lotion on my back. It was a bit disappointing. You should know well by then. I may have several girlfriends before but I don't ask for help from random strangers, especially women. I respect women a lot. And when I go to beach, it's always with my manly friends.”

Then I looked at her again and smiled sheepishly before saying “Now that I have you, do I still need other woman?”. She chuckled in response but I bet my two cents she's turning really red at that moment.

Ehem. She cleared . “I guess I can't ignore my intuition from now on. Things area really bothering you. Arrasseyo. I will keep my jokes at a minimal level from now on. At first, I think that being married to my husband should be like being together with a best friend. You know, being comfortable to the point we can openly joke with another. I guess, I pushed my self too much. I had my jokes too much. Mianhe, oppa.”

“Anniya. I like that you are being comfortable with me now. With what we happened a while ago, I am starting to see the point you are coming from. I just thought that you being friendly means I'm stuck in the zone.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know? Us being just friends. I'm taking our relationship seriously Seungyeon-ah. But you are hitting points at different levels at different times so I'm quite confused. When we started, you like all things that I say or do. You often blush and I miss those blushes. But now, you always joke around so I'm not sure if you're taking my comments seriously or not.”

She chuckled shyly. “What?” I asked.

“Nothing. I didn't even realized that I changed so much in those months.”

“Maybe, I missed my bear wife that's all,” I confessed. “But you can't revert back to how you were in the past. So maybe, I'll just live with it and try to spice things up.”

We were laughing with one another when the head producer called for us and asked us to ride the convertible car and follow their lead.

I was really in the good mood after the conversation but my bear-fatale wife was yet to finish attacking my poor heart. She slithery linked her hand on mine and spoke in a volume that only I can hear. “Oppa, from now on. If something is bothering you, don't hesitate to tell he, okay? So we could patch things up. Together.”

I smiled at her beautiful heart. Yeobo, you are an extraordinary woman. I'm so touched with what she said that I just placed my hand on her shoulders to keep her closer and kiss her on the head.

Yes. I am a few of words. I'm prefer acting on it. And this is how I show my love.

While we were riding the car, holding hands like usual, I remembered blurting suddenly that she should not wear the short dress she first wore during our wedding. That's for my eyes only during personal moments. How ridiculously ert I am. Seriously.

My reverie is a wake up call on how terrible I acted a while ago. I should call her to apologize immediately.

NO.

I should drive towards their location right now and say sorry personally. You're a manly man, aren't you Jonghyun-ah? Do it the manly way. I grabbed my car keys when someone rang my doorbell. In a hurry, I opened the door and is taken aback when I see Seungyeon standing there, wearing mask and cap at disguise. Within her hands, she hold a calligraphy paper, on it “Sorry, Oppa” is written. Her delicate brush is evident.

“Seungyeon-ah!”

“Oppa.” she's on the verge of crying. “I'm sorry. I really am.”

“How come you are here. I thought you still have to shoot?” I'm still on a state of shock. What an incredible woman! Is my flashback that long that she has enough time to travel back to Seoul in few hours?

“The director decided to cancel the shoot. He said we still have time tomorrow. I asked my manager to drive me here as fast as –.” I do not care to hear the rest of her explanation. Her flustered face, her worried look encapsulates me right now. She breathes so hard meaning she ran so fast to get to my unit on time. Oh, and her calligraphy. Maybe I should ask her how was she able to finish it up.

Oh, Yeobo. You're making me loose my sanity.

I pulled her close to me and shut the door behind us.

Dear friends,

Sorry for the late update. Their coversation while para-sailing is for me, one of the highlights of their time in the program. Both in positive and negative ways. Positive meaning their communication have made their relationship more mature. Negative cause I always associate that episode with their exit from the program. Those hard time. Argh. I can't bear to remember it. My fragile world would break.

Anyway, in order to write this chapter, I have to read JH's previous interviews aboutut his views on relationships. Also, I had to backread on posts in soompi. I had to read other's views and take on their conversation, especially the "comfortable" line. It's ben months, but I'm still bothered by what he meant by those. Thankfully, posts on soompi thread is so good, it satisfied my hunger for answer.

In other words, I literally researched as part of the preparation for this chapter. JH's views here are results of my opinion and how I take soompi members' opinion. So for that, thank you for people who openly shared their opinion on the matter.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks!!!

Lovelots,

Kiara :D