It hadn’t been long since my arrival in Seoul but it also wasn’t long before I had to pack my bags again and go back to the country I call home. During my stay in Seoul with my best friend, we had been lucky enough to meet the AOMG crew and became acquainted with them soon after. She and I spent most of our days hanging out with them and they took us on tours of the city when they weren’t busy with work. It was great and so much fun; the only thing I didn’t like was that I gained feelings for one of the boys.

Sunghwa had been nothing but nice to me since we met. He was funny, sweet and absolutely handsome. It was quite obvious to me as soon as we met that I’d end up with a crush on him but I tried my hardest to reject the feelings that grew every time we hung out. It was so hard. So hard because I loved spending time with him. He and I became close in a short time. While my best friend hung out with the guys in a spacious room they had in their company which they used to chill out, Sunghwa and I were locked away in his studio. All alone. Sharing stories about each other, listening to new songs he was working on, laughing and having these little intimate moments where we’d simply be having fun and the next minute, we’d be staring into each other's eyes, breaths heavy, leaning in until one of us looked away and pretended nothing had happened. I guess we did this because we both knew this would never last. Nothing could happen. I was about to leave soon and the chances of returning to South Korea quickly were slim.

I received a call from Jay three days before my departure date. He asked if we could meet up, saying he needed to tell me something important, and when we did, what he said changed everything. We sat in his office, music played softly in the background but he turned the volume up as soon as he was ready to speak. At that moment, I had no clue what to expect. He and I had never really talked 1-on-1 like this before except when we were out with everyone. I watched him, patiently waiting for him to tell me what he needed to.

“So, you and Gray.”

I cocked my brow at him, earning a chuckle from him in return.

“He told me some stuff yesterday,” He said casually, “I won’t tell you what he said exactly because he should tell you himself, but he’s like a brother to me and I want him to be happy so I will say something.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

I was confused and a bit frightened. I didn’t want to have made Sunghwa feel bad and if I had I would have ran right to him and apologized.

“No,” Jay shook his head, “The thing is… You two should be together. You both like the same things, you have similar dreams in life and you make each other happy. Everyone’s noticed it, I’m just not sure that you have.”

I took a deep breath and looked around his office. Of course I had noticed. I wanted to be with Sunghwa so badly. I wanted him to kiss me every time we shared those intimate moments. I wanted to be able to call him mine and only mine and spend countless hours with him because he made me feel so happy... But I couldn’t. It would be too hard. Long distance is the worst thing to happen to a relationship, who knew if we’d even last?

“I’ve noticed.”

“Well, why don’t you do something about it than?”

“I’m leaving in three days, Jay,” I sounded much sadder than I had expected when I said that, “I’m not even sure when or if I’ll come back.”

“Gray can visit you. You can call each other, skype, text… There’s a lot of ways to keep in touch.”

“I don’t want that,” I sighed, “I want to be able to see him in person and...You know… Be able to hold him, kiss him… All of that.”

I looked away from him after I said that. I felt embarrassed telling Jay I wanted to kiss Sunghwa even though it was a normal feeling when you obviously liked someone and he already knew.

“Would you rather be his girlfriend but have a long distance relationship or not be and always wonder what if?”

“Jay…”

“If you really like him, you’d do anything.”

I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms against my chest.

“Really?” I sneered, “I like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone in my life. I can’t stop thinking about him and spending time with him is my motivation to wake up in the morning even more than sightseeing this beautiful country I’ve been dreaming about for years. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and it that I had to find him here when I have to leave thousands of kilometers away. I’m so scared that if we have a long distance relationship, it’ll just end one day without a word or that it will be hard on him most of all.”

“You need to put your fears aside and just do it. If you’re meant for each other, everything will be fine. There’s about 6 of us who believe in you guys, if that doesn’t reassure you that maybe you guys are supposed to be together, I don’t know what will.”

A few hours later, I was pacing around back and forth in Jay’s office. He let me take some time to think about everything in the comfort of his office so no one could bother me. I knew I wanted to be with Sunghwa more than anything and maybe Jay was right. But how would I approach Sunghwa about my feelings? I had no idea, all I knew was that the time felt right to tell him and so without letting second thoughts fill my head, I ran out of Jay’s office and headed to Sunghwa’s studio.

The door was open a few centimeters so I barged in, shutting it behind me. He spun in his seat and stood once he saw me. I didn’t waste any time to close the distance between us and crash my lips to his. That was how I told him. How he told me his feelings was a different story. His hands traveled down my sides and somehow he swooped me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist and gently sat me down on his desk. I kept my legs as they were, pressing him close to me as I deepened the kiss and he started ing my blouse until suddenly, he stopped.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes stared intensely into mine and his fingers brushed the stray hairs away from my face. His fingers glided gently down my neck until they reached the last button which was left and he began buttoning my blouse before kissing my forehead so softly that I barely felt his lips on my skin.

“We’re going to do this, but in my bed,” He murmured, “I want it to be special.”

I bit my lip. I leaned in and kissed him once more.

“I like you a lot.” We said in unison and both started giggling. He rubbed my arms and sat down on his chair before pulling me onto his lap. We sat like that for hours and talked about what we were going to do. We agreed that he would go visit me and I promised I would look for a job in Seoul as soon as I landed. He asked Jay for the next three days off so we’d be able to spend time together and Jay immediately said yes. Things seemed like they’d work out and being together made us so happy, especially when we could finally kiss whenever we wanted and knew we both loved it.