Soonyoung doesn’t like being alone, but only when he is alone could he truly assess his feelings. He was sitting outside, when he noticed that it had started to rain, but he didn't care. In a way, the rain calmed him when he was sad, it made him feel better. Hoshi always tried to be overly energetic, but there were times when he couldn't be his usual cheery self.

He shouldn't be outside while the others are inside, it might make them worry, he knows it, but he'd rather be out here in the cold, rather than have his heart be shattered by the sight of Hansol and Seungkwan being all close up to each other. Seeing Hansol, someone he's grown to like in more than a friendship kind of way, act all lovey dovey to someone who's not him hurts. He can't bare it, it angers him that he feels this way, but it's not Hansol's or Seungkwan’s fault, it isn't… not really, it's his own fault for loving someone who evidently only sees him as a friend, a brother. That's why he's out here, in the cold. He hasn't got a jacket, but somehow the cold doesn't bother him, not really. He kinda likes it, it forces his mind to think about how cold he is, rather than how he's feeling emotionally.

He looks at the rain soaked streets and he wonders what it's like not having to feel this, this painful emotions. He's sitting by a set of stairs and before he knows it, he’s up and reaching to touch the rain. He wishes he could wash away all of this pain like the rain washes away all evidence of dirt from a sidewalk, but unfortunately that can't happen. He's stuck with these god forsaken emotions. He goes to sit back down and hears the door open. He doesn't look at who it is, he doesn't want to. He can sense whoever it is approaching, but he doesn't look, he just focuses on the rain and the sound it makes. He can see from his peripheral vision that it's Hansol who comes out and sits next to him.

“It's cold out here,” he hears him say. He doesn't have to look at him to know he's being given a concerned look.

He laughs, “it's raining too.” He doesn't know what he's trying to mean by that, he just says it.

“It is isn't it?” Hansol looks away and focuses his attention on the pouring rain. He has something in his hand that Soonyoung doesn't notice before.

“For you,” Hansol says when he notices Sooyoung's curious gaze. It's a sweater. “I don't want you to freeze to death,” he says. Soonyoung takes the sweater, but he doesn't put it on. Hansol sees that, but doesn't say anything. It's quiet for a few minutes. All that can be heard is the pouring rain.

Soonyoung feels awkward. He feels as if Hansol knows why he’s out here. He can feel the goosebumps on his skin, but it doesn't matter… not right now at least.

A couple of minutes of silence pass by the two of them, before he hears the door once again. He looks back. Its Seungkwan. “The other's are done making dinner, so you should probably come inside before we finish it all,” he says jokingly. Hansol gives him a smile and nods at him as a sign that he coming. Soonyoung can't do much but look at him as he goes back to the pouring rain. It's bittersweet, this moment, because all Soonyoung can think about is how Hansol's smile warms him up, even though he's not smiling at him, but at Seungkwan. He enjoys it none the less, no matter how painful it proves to be.

“We should go back inside,” Hansol says as he stands and heads inside.

“You coming?” he asks while he waits by the door. Soonyoung nods.

“In a minute,” is all he can say. Hansol gives him a sympathetic smile and he shuts the door behind him. Soonyoung is back to his own thoughts. He can't help but wonder if that smile means he knows what he's thinking about. He stands and heads to the door. He doesn't want to feel this, but at the same time he doesn't want to let this feeling go.

He sighs as he closes the door behind him.Soonyoung doesn't know if he’s ever going to stop loving Hansol, but what he does know is that as long as Hansol is happy, then he should be too, even if his happiness doesn't include him.