The three weeks leading up to the day he decided to take the pregnancy test had been hell for Jinhwan. He was sick and queasy and he felt like vomiting every second. His friends had been worried sick telling him to go to the doctors almost every time he showed those symptoms. They were telling him it could be deadly and that he could be really sick. So researched what the symptoms could mean and he found out that it could be because he was pregnant.  If only they knew that this isn't taking a life away, but is giving us a life, Jinhwan thought.

  The night he took the test he was so in shock and barely slept a wink. He had decided not to go to school that week, depression hitting him fast and hard like a bullet. He didn't know what to do with himself, he didn't know how people were going to react. Would they be disgusted or would they pity him? He didn't know what his friends would think, let alone his family. Would they still accept him as their son? What about Hanbin? Would he be revolted and leave him? All the thoughts were turning him crazy and espeially the fact that he didn't know what to do about the trainee program. 

  Jinhwan decided to go back to school before his school called his parents of his absence. He didn't need them to stress him even more about the importance of education.

   Jinhwan woke up feeling anxious to go back to school. So Jinhwan layed in bed trying to mentally comfort himself and convince himself things would be okay. He looked at the clock and he realized he only had 30 more minutes to get ready and get to school. Jinhwan bolted from the bed to the bathroom to get ready and shower, but the fast movement had made dizzy and nauseas so he leaned over the sink and gagged for a couple of minutes. Groaning, Jinhwan got up and went in the shower stall to get cleaned up

  Jinhwan  took a quick ten minute shower and put on his uniform. Deciding that he doesn't have time to eat anything, he grabbed his backpack and ran towards the bus stop.

  As the bus pulled up, Jinhwan hastily entered it and took a seat in the very back. It was around 20 minutes later when the bus arrived at the school. He exited the bus and headed toward his usual spot in the courtyard waiting for the first bell to ring. In the few minutes he had to spare outside waiting, Jinhwan's haunting thoughts flooded his mind.  How will he face his friends? What will they think about this situstion or ask him?

  His anxiety started to build, but thankfully the first bell rang and stopped him from thinking any further.

  Jinhwan went through his first period with ease. There were no friends to worry about confronting, but of course his teacher wondered where he'd been for the past few days. The next two classes went alright. Boring, but alright.

  Fourth period Jinhwan knew trouble was bound to happen. He knew that his best friend would ask him questions. Tiring questions that he sure doesn't want to answer infront of his peers, but knowing Vernon, he won't stop asking until Jinhwan would answer. He walked to Fourth period slowly. Taking his time and prolonging the current peaceful moment a liitle bit longer. As he opened the door to the classroom he saw his friend waiting for him at his desk probably having heard that he was back. Jinhwan walked towards him filled with dread. 

  "Aye, Jinhwan! Where have you been?" Vernon asked him before he could even take a seat. "Also, why haven't you been answering my calls hyung? Is something wrong?" Jinhwan knew then that if he didn't tell him what was going on, Vernon would die with worry and curiosness.

  With a little hesitation Jinhwan bit out, "There is a situation that came up and I needed a while to sort things out and think, but I can't say what it is here, so meet me at the roof top during lunch." Vernon nodded with a frown in response wondering what situation would require all the secrecy.  

  The entire class period they both sat at their desks filled with tension. It was safe to say that Jinhwan didn't pay attention to anything the teacher said, same with the other three teachers before before this one. He waited till the lunch bell rung and speed walked to the roof top, hoping to get there before Vernon so that he could have a few minutes to think of what to say. As Jinhwan was waiting for Vernon, he decided to tell him everything as he was mentally exhausted and he just need to get things off his chest. Jinhwan didn't think that he could survive this alone so he decided to trust Vernon with his secret and he hoped his friend would still be there after he hears everything Jinhwan had to say.

  "Yo, Jinhwan! So what's been up?" Vernon almost yelled in Jinhwan's ear making him gasp in surprise. 

  Jinhwan took a deep breath and started rambling, "Okay this is a lot to take in, okay? But hear me out," Jinhwan proceded to spill all that was on his mind hoping Vernon wouldn't hate him and would be understanding.

  "Please don't tell anyone. Especially Hanbin, I'll tell him when i'm ready," Jinhwan pleaded with his friend.

  Jinhwan didn't know how to take his friends reaction because he was very quiet. Vernon was frozen in his spot and stayed still without saying anything for a long while.

  "Vernon... I know this is shocking, but give the idea a chance before you get freaked out," Jinhwan let out in a panic. 

Vernon finally turned his head to look at Jinhwan in the eye. Jinhwan could see the uncertainty in them, he didn't see any hostile feelings in them but it was still hurtful to have his friend look at him with judging eyes. 

  Vernon quickly stood up and shuffled away from Jinhwan, "Are you going to abort it?" He asked with a new hope in his eyes as if he had been looking for ways to make his friend normal again. 

  "What!? No. Vernon how could you stay that!? I don't think thats right," Jinhwan whisper shouted at Vernon, angry for suggesting such a thing.

  "If you're not, then I don't think I can hang out with you anymore. It's just too weird. I know this a thing, but it's abnormal. Don't approach me anymore," Vernon told Jinhwan as he moved toward the door. He stopped and whispered, "Don't worry about me telling anyone your secret though. I'm not going to do that to you." He twisted the doorknob and disappeared down the stairs.

  Jinhwan stood there for a while shocked, not thinking that his friend would react that way. He started thinking that this was going to be the reaction of everybody else including Hanbin. He felt that no one was going to accept him or his baby. He knew he had to give Hanbin the benefit of the doubt, but he couldnt help but lose faith in the situation.

  Jinhwan turned the doorknob to his house with his right hand and entered with the mail he collected just earlier placed in his other hand. When he checked the mail, one said that it was from his parents and frankly, he didn't want to open it. He didn't want to feel the loneliness of their vague replies at this moment when he can't handle anymore emotional hits.

  Jinhwan went straight to his bedroom and dropped his bag down onto his bed. Before he could even wonder whether to open the letter or not, he found his hands tearing the envelope without thought. Even if he prepared himself, even if he went through this before, he couldn't help the pang he felt in his heart at the letter written without emotion. As if it was written out of obligation and not because he was their son and they missed him. All the letter said was that his parents were busy with their jobs and that his Dad had gotten promoted so they were happy and that they couldn't come home for a while. They may even miss Christmas. Even though he should have known this letter would bring pain, it still hurt and tears slipped from his eyes without permission. 

  He felt as though he couldn't swallow. There was a lump in his throat that was choking him. Because of Hanbin and his best friend, he found his comfort and he covered the pain. He felt as if they provided the love that his parents should've provided.

  Jinhwan bawled and cried until he could feel his eyes become red and puffy. Exhaustion hit him hard from his stressful day and the energy that he lost from crying. Soon he started to feel his eyes droop and he fell asleep clutching the letter to his chest. 

  Jinhwan woke up feeling dazed from his afternoon nap, but he felt better. The crying really let out his stress. He decided to watch something so that he wouldn't think deep about things now. The last thing he needs is to get his mood down.

  Jinhwan found himself in the living room with the lights dimmed, snuggled in the comforter he brought out along with popcorn in his hands. He looked thorough channels to find something interesting and found a show he occasionally watch. It was The Return of Superman.

  Like every other time he watched the show, he felt the little tug in his heart when he heard the kids laugh. He watched the kids play with their fathers happily and he watched the kids try new stuff and learn riding bikes with their parents. He could see the trust in the kids eyes. The trust they have for their fathers. Jinhwan thought about how that would feel to have this unconditional love for someone no matter what they do. To be your child's superhero and support. To be the first person that the child would look for whether they were happy or sad. Jinhwan's heart started to beat faster. So suddenly he wanted that feeling. He wanted this kid and the sudden feeling of shame came over him too. Shame because of the fact that even for a little bit he thought this kid had ruined his life. He had gotten a blessing and he kept crying over it as if he had recieved the worst news he could ever receive. 

  With his new resolution, Jinhwan got up and went to the computer to research on the baby. He found many articles that would be useful. A lot of them talked about the precautions to take so that the baby isn't harmed. He also found out that the first trimester is one of the hardest to got hrough? Plus, he found tips to avoid morning sickness. Jinhwan got a notebook and wrote down the information he deemed important. Many of the articles stressed the need to get a regular checkup with a doctor, so he searched for a nearby hospital that he could go to that specialized in this area. He got the hospital's number and quickly dialed up the number. 

  "Hello this is Yong Pal Hospital, how can I help you today?" The lady spoke. 

  "A-ah yeah, I'd like to schedule an appointment for a check up," Jinhwan replied.

  "The next available spot is tomorrow at 12 p.m if that's okay?"

  "Yes that's fine."

  The nurse proceeded to ask for his name and told Jinhwan that he should give his name at the front desk and they'll give me direction to the doctor that's taking my case.

  It was the next day and it was nearing Jinhwan's doctors appointment. He quickly showered, got dressed, and headed out the front door. He decided to take a local cab to the hospital.

  He payed the driver as he reached his destination. He got out of the yellow cab and entered the building with a cool breeze brushing over him as he did so. Jinhwan headed toward the lady at the front desk and asked about the appointment and such. She simply handed him a form to fill out in reply and asked for it to be returned. 

  Jinhwan filled in his information as quickly as possible because he couldn't handle his nerves anymore. He hesitated a bit when it came to the parts where it asked about the partner or father of the baby because he didn't even know if Hanbin would like people knowing that he knocked some poor boy up when he was thinking of going into idol world.

  A couple minutes after he gave the nurse the filled out form, he was called in, "Kim Jinhwan, the doctor the doctor is ready to take you now."

  Jinhwan stood up and collected his things and followed the nurse further into the hospital where she led him into a door. 

  "You can wait for the doctor here. He'll come after he is done with his current patient." The nurse smiled slightly at him to placate his nerves. Jinhwan tried to cool his composure so it wouldn't show that he was nervous. He sat down on the bed waiting for the doctor.

  After a couple of minutes he heard the door open. The doctor smiled at Jinhwan and introduced himself, "Hello, my name is Kim Taehyung and you're Kim Jinhwan, correct?"

  Jinhwan nodded in response. 

  The doctor had a stethoscope around his neck along with a clipboard in hand. He was wearing a white coat with blue scrubs under it. He had slighty tan yet fair skin and dark brown eyes. His eyes and the corner of his mouth had slight smile wrinkles that showed that he smiled a lot. His brown hair was straight and it fell towards his eyes reaching just above his eyelashes. He gave Jinhwan another boxy smile as a greeting that Jinhwan swooned over, even though he would never admit to it. 

  Doctor Kim asked Jinhwan to go into the changing room and change into the hospital gown while the nurse comes in to prepare the instruments needed to perform the check up. 

  When he finished changing, Jinhwan found the doctor sitting in front of the computer inputting information. The doctor looked over and gave him a box smile again. 
"Why don't you have a sit. I want to ask you a couple of questions before we start taking tests." 

  Nodding meekly Jinhwan sat down on the check up bed. 

  "Okay, I understand that this is your first prenatal checkup?" After getting an answer from the boy, Dr. Kim continued to ask him questions relating to his health before and after he got pregnant. Such as any heart or organ problems or failure. He also asked whether he has recently started bleeding or if he noticed any changes in his body that seemed abnormal. 

  He then followed up with questions about genetics. He asked whether he or anyone in his family has had any birth defects, following up questions about drug or alcohol abuse and continued to inform him that certain things such as smoking, drinking, and taking drugs could effect the baby's health and to avoid those in his life now that he has a baby to protect. 

  When he was done asking questions, Doctor Kim asked Jinhwan if he wanted nuchal translucency screening which he then explained was a type of ultrasound that was appropriate for how long he has been pregnant along with the blood tests.

  "Alright now to move on to the most exciting part, please your shirt. We're going to do the ultra sound," Dr. Kim  informed Jinhwan, "You're going to feel cold as I spread the gel on to your stomach." 

  As soon as Jinhwan heard the warning, Jinhwan felt a sudden chill on his lower stomach and gasped which made the doctor give a smile of apology.

  "Sorry about that. So everything looks okay. Would you like a picture to take home with you? Though, there isn't much that you can see." 

  Jinhwan nodded yes and quickly cleaned the gel off of his abdomen and buttoned his hospital wear. He was told that he was finished with the check up and that he could change back into his own clothes. After changing, the Doctor sat him down and told him some do's and don'ts and sent him off with an appointment set for 4 weeks later. 

  Jinhwan walked out of the hospital staring at the two sonograms* he got. He stared at them in amazement, wondering how there could be a little life growing inside of him. 

  As he got on the bus that  heads towards his house, Jinhwan heard his phone ringing. Franticly bringing out his phone, Jinhwan saw that it was Hanbin who called.
Hesitantly Jinhwan answered the phone.

  "Hello?" 

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