"I’m sorry, Yoona, but she still didn’t want to meet anyone.”

“But Aunty, it’s..it’s important I, I have to talk to her.” Yoona said and try to walk past Lee Hyori, Haneul’s mother.

“Yonna-ah, please just leave her alone for now.” Hyori grab Yoona’s arm prevent her to go to Haneul’s room.

“I have to meet her and talk to her. Please aunty, please let me meet her.” Yoona plead try to release her hand from Hyori’s grab.

“Yoona!!!” Hyori raise her voice makes the girl stop struggling and look at her.

“I said not now. I understand your good attention to make clear the problem between you and her but you have to understand that Haneul need time to clean her mind. Give her time to think and I believe on no time she will be the one who come to you for talk.” Yoona look at Hyori looking for some assurance and decide to believe what Hyori said.

Hyori look at Yoona figure who walk away from their house before closed their front door and slowly walk towards Haneul’s room.

From the slightly open door she watched Haneul who sat on her bed look blankly out of the window.

Its two weeks already after that night, still fresh on her mind she opened their front door that night think that it’s Henry who forgot to bring his phone again. But it’s not Henry, it’s Haneul not the usual Haneul, her always bright eyes now sad with her expressionless face. She knew something bad happen but she didn’t ask and just take Haneul’s hand and bring her in. Once the front door closed Haneul sank in the floor and Hyori can feel her daughter tremble.

“Umma, he… didn’t… love me, never love me…” She heard Haneul faintly said and tears slowly fall down and she cried her heart out.

It’s broke her heart hear her daughter crying like this, she know Haneul is cry baby who can easily leak out tears because of small reason but this time the sorrow in Haneul eyes is same like the time Lee Joongki, her husband leave them after their big fight. She didn’t notice that time their little girl are standing on the corner of the room watching them yell to each other before he leave them. She remembered she only notice Haneul was there because of Haneul faint voice call Appa and she would never forget her hurt face that time. And that night she was faced with that face again with the same sadness the same sorrow she showing because of losing someone she held close to her heart. Her heart breaks watch Haneul but she knew she can’t do anything about it except to hug Haneul tight hope it can salve her bleeding heart.

 

Hyori take a deep breath before enter Haneul’s room, there is no cheerful greeting or a warmth hug that always welcome her when she enter Haneul’s room.

“She already leaved.” Hyori said and keep silent when Haneul didn’t answer her, she just sat on the bed still look blankly over the window.

 “Haneul-ah, Umma already cook your favorite food. Come eat now ok?” Hyori said and once again no answer.

Hyori bite her lips try to prevent her cry to let out seeing her daughter like that. She walked toward Haneul and sat beside her, slowly she reach her and hug her tenderly.

“I know how you feel right now but I want you to know that Umma always love you, always will.”  She whispered before kiss Haneul head.  

“Umma…” She heard Haneul faint voice, “Ne?” “How you go trough this Umma?” Haneul ask her, she now turn to face Hyori, “Can I go trough this Umma?” her voice shaky.

“Honestly for me it’s not easy too, it’s never easy handle with the pain of heartbroken but like people always said time will heal the broken heart, time will erase the pain and will let us remember it as bittersweet memory, a part of live. You can go trough all of it Haneul, I believe you can! But one thing I have to let you know that you don’t have to try hard to forget but you have to learn hard to let it go.”

“You believe I can do that Umma? You believe I can learn to let him go?” Haneul look straight into Hyori eyes, trying to find an assurance, to find courage from her mother.

“Yes, my dear, I believe you can.” Hyori smile to Haneul and Haneul believe she can. She smiling to her mother a first smile since that day, even it isn’t her usual smile but Hyori knew Haneul will be alright.

 

3 weeks after Heechul’s birthday party

“Let’s talk in your room.” Yoona surprised to see Haneul stand in her front door, she couldn’t even do anything just let the other girl walk past her to her bedroom.

Once she gets on her bedroom she see Haneul already sit on her bed. Once she closed the door behind her one of the pillow hit her head.

“I hate you, Im Yoona. I hate you!!!!” Haneul shout while reach another pillow and hit Yoona with all her might.

“How… how could you do this to me? You !!!” Haneul snap out still hit Yoona with the pillow and her anger raised look at her friend who just stay still on her spot didn’t doing anything.

“Why don’t you say something huh? You think watching me get angry is funny? Just as funny as you saw me tell all people that Lee Donghae accepted me didn’t even have any idea that it’s just because of you? Is it fun BESTFRIEND!!!” Haneul snap with mocking tone on her voice and that’s when Yoona think she have enough. She took the neglected pillow on the floor and hit back make Haneul surprised.

“FUN??? It’s not even fun!!! You don’t even know how painful it was watching you with him! How I wish that was me not you!!!” Yoona snap back and hit Haneul.

“Huh!!! So, why you didn’t even tell me that you also love him??? Hypocrite!!!”

“Hypocrite?? You never know because all you care is about yourself and you never try to listen!!! You self centered !!!”

“What??? Huh, it’s better than a ing hypocrite like you who try to be an angel. Try to sacrifice your love? Huh, you think I’ll be happy with it? For your Information NO I’m Not Happy!!! I hate it, I hate you!!!!!!!”

“I ing hate you too!!!! I hate that you fail to get that ing scholarship to Italy on the day you decide to confess to him!!! If only you get it I’ll never ever let go the one I love!”

They throw shout to each other, let  out what in their heart, while hit each other with the pillow, they didn’t even care Yoona’s mother who call and bang the door to find out what happen to them because their voice is so loud. After 30 minutes yelling to each other, insulting each other and hitting each other, they lost their energy and end up slump on Yoona’s bedroom floor try to catch their breath. They look at each other eyes with anger on their eyes before burst into laughter seeing how messed they are, their hair are messed, feather stuck on their hair and face. They laugh their silliness but they know this is alright now.

“I’m sorry for what happen in Heechul Oppa birthday party.” Yoona said look at Haneul eyes, Haneul smile, ”I’m sorry for never being a good best friend for you, I’m sorry for never realize your felling to him.” Haneul said and reach Yoona to hug her bestfriend. Haneul feel the burden and pain on her heart now vanish when Yoona also hug her.

“You love him?” Haneul feel Yoona tense on her spot, ”Please, said the truth and don’t you dare to be an angel again, you hypocrite .” Yoona smile hear it, she didn’t feel offended because she knew Haneul didn’t mean it. Yoona can’t find her voice to voice out her answer and just nod to answer it.

“Promise me to love him, to cherish him and take care of him.” Haneul whisper make Yoona look at her disbelieve but the girl just smile.

“I have to go now.”Haneul stand and get out from the room just to meet with Yoona’s mother confused and panicked expression. She bowed to the older before say her goodbye.

Met me on Han rivers 6 pm.

He read the short messages over and over again, it’s still five past thirty and here he is, on the Han rivers parking lot. He took a deep breath before open his car door and get out from his car, walking toward the particular spot she always said as her spot, the place when she confess to him, the place they came on their one hundred day’s together or their date, her favorite picnic place and somehow also be his favorite place now.

He walked slowly while watching the people who enjoy their time watching the sun seat, the children who run and giggling with their friend or the youngster hanging out with their friend. And he find her there, on the bench near a big tree, seat alone while look blankly to the river. A tug on his heart made his step became heavy before he really stopped watched her figure silently, look so fragile and alone, he doesn’t realize how long he watching her or how long her brown eyes already find him. They lost in each other eyes make them feel like there is only the two of them in there, no one else. He walked closer when she made a gesture to come seat beside her. They seat beside each other, on the bench on their favorite place like they used too except now there no more laugh and warms between them only silence.

Donghae feel uneasy with the silence that never been there when he is with Haneul but he also can’t open his mouth to broken this silence. His brain try to find the best word to tell her and it end up to one word Sorry, Sorry would be the only words he can say even when he know that thousand of Sorry would never compare to Haneul’s pain. To think back then this all wouldn’t happen if he decline Yoona’s plead but he is too weak to her pleading eyes, look at Yoona’s face he know that it’s also hard for her but Haneul is also important for her, he understand that but now he regret it.

He regret the time he agree to all of this, regret his selfish self who want to showing Yoona his love and hurt Yoona in the same time with accept Haneul, that time he think that the pain will bring Yoona back and they can end this craziness but he is wrong because Yoona run away from the pain to New York leave him trapped. But after Yoona leave for her scholarship in New York Donghae regret that he can’t be more brave to said to Haneul what really inside his heart, regret that he fail to see in the end of this all Haneul will gain the most pain.

Haneul watched the sun which slowly disappears also bring its light and warmness, leaved the world with darkness and coldness. Like the sun her love story also will end now leave her in pain, one year memory played in her mind remind her all they’ve gone trough, keep it’s as her precious treasure only hers because its only mean pain for Donghae and Yoona. She smile bitterly for her own thinking, her love story would come to an end, they wouldn’t be together again, it’ll leave her with pain but tomorrow the sun will shine again and she hope she’ll also move on with her life.

Donghae watched the sun disappear and he jolt in his seat when he feel a cold finger touch his left wrist. He froze on his spot, he realized what Haneul wants to do, feels her cold fingers tremble touching the silver bracelet that circle on his left wirst. Its a couple bracelet that Haneul made by her self, on that bracelet carved their initial and Donghae also realize on the back of the bracelet Haneul also carve another sign that she refuse to tell Donghae what it’s mean, the one she give him on their one hundred day’s as a couple. He remember what she said back then “Yoebo, this will be the sign that we are tied together, never let off this bracelet because if one of us do that means one of us want to end this.”

But Donghae just too coward to do that back then or he think it’s no use to end it because Yoona already leave. Her trembling fingers struggle to unhook the bracelet and when it’s unhooked Donghae feels a tiny happiness on his heart because he now this the end of this relationship, this is goodbye and he now can be with the one he love but he also can’t surge off the sudden lost feel, because that bracelet somehow already being a part of him, he already used to feel the cold material linger on his wrist.

Donghae turn his gaze from the river to Haneul, he meet with her brown orbs, no tears are show in her eyes instead she gave him a small smile and guilty flush over Donghae’s heart because even there is smile on her face he can still see the sorrow on her eyes. Donghae open his mouth to voice his apologized for hurt her but like she can read his mind the girl shake her head.

“Thank you.” He heard she said to him.

“Thank you.” He said, Haneul smile to him before get up and leave.

Donghae watch her back, became smaller and smaller and then vanished from his eyesight that’s when he realize the warm tears on his own face.

 

Without purpose she walk trough the crowded street, she doesn’t want to stop, she walk and walk, hoping with the tired body she will feel too numb to feel the pain anymore. But even when her leg can’t move one more step, the oppressive feeling still there. She clutching the bracelet on her palm tightly made the material prick her skin and the pain somehow ease her heart. Pain, maybe that what she need now.

 

“Are you sure?” the man ask her and she just nodded.

“Hm… ok, if you sure about it. Where do you want it?”

She seat and lean on the back of the black leather seat, her shirt half open and she closed her eyes didn’t want to see the man and just wait for the pain. She heard the man come near her and then she can feel the pain when the man began his job. The needles that prick on her skin above her left gave so much pain but it ease her heart pain, there she decided to give up to the pain and let her tears flow down.

 

Anthony already work as tattoo artist for ten years, there is so many reason why people want to get tattoo on their body, there is people who make it just for a dare or fun, people who want to have their beloved name or their important even date tattooed on their body as a remain, some people tattooed their body because they love it and there is some people who just want to feel the pain.

Anthony eyed the girl who now seat on the leather seat and already open her shirt she let the left of her shirt open fully. And she closed her eyes, after prepared what he need and clean the spot above her left with alcohol he start his work. Anthony frown when he didn’t hear the girl groan in pain but he can see the tears that slowly flow down her closed eyes, he understand now that the girl is the last type of people, the people who just want to feel the pain. Anthony keep his work, paint the purple hyacinth on the girl skin with the needle, wondering to him self was the girl know the meaning of the purple hyacinth or she just randomly pick. Purple hyacinth have a meaning of “please forgive me” or it’s can be mean “sorrow”.