Jungkook’s POV

It has been one week since Jin passed away and the hyungs are still having trouble getting over it. How can we do that? Jin is the one who take care of us and now that he’s gone we don’t have anyone to hold on to. The last time I talked to the others is at Jin’s funeral and after that no one seems to contact each other. We used to always spend time with each other but now that we lost one person, being with each other doesn’t seem right. The spot that once fill was empty and nothing can fill it. I hope that we can stay together like we used to again. I want to make that happened but I’m falling too. These days, I always get into fight even with strangers. The pain that I get makes me forget about him for a while so I keep doing it hoping that I will finally forget him. Even though I know this is not right and Jin will be sad if he sees us like this but this my only way to keep holding on.

I was walking alone at night when suddenly I bump into two guys. I just keep walking because I thought it’s not a big deal and I hope they were thinking the same thing but I was wrong. They stopped me and start to beat me up. Usually, I will fight back but I don’t feel like it today. I didn’t try to avoid and just let them hit me. I can feel the pain all over my body but I didn’t bother. Finally, they stopped and left. I was lucky that they didn’t kill me. I used all my strength left and keep walking. I didn’t look at the red light when I crossed the road. Suddenly, I can see the light of a car coming towards me and it was too late to avoid it.

Hoseok’s POV

Taking sleeping pills has been an everyday routine for me now. It’s the only way I can forget about his death and the only way to exit myself from the world. I feel like a living corpse. I eat when I had to and go to bed afterwards.  Sometimes, I just stare at myself in the mirror and think if I should end my life too but there is something that stopped me from doing that. I keep taking extra pills on purpose hoping that somehow it will end my life and I’m still waiting for it to happen, waiting for the pain to end, when I can finally be free and get over it. Memories with Jin and the others keep playing in my head and it hurts because it will only stay there and it will never happen again. I just wish I can erase the memories from my head and continue my life as usual.

Every day is the same. I keep getting suicidal thoughts. Maybe today, I can end my life for good. I woke up and went to the bathroom. I stare at myself again in the mirror. I take the sleeping pills and swallow as many as I could. I decided to go for a walk to see the world for the last time. It has been a week since I see the sunlight and my head starting to feel dizzy and it’s hard to keep my eyes opened. I keep walking forward and make myself invisible from the world. My body can’t take it anymore. I let myself fall onto the ground and let my eyes to close so I can finally be free.

Jimin’s POV

It’s been a week. A week since everything starts to turn upside down. A week since I last saw the boys and a week since we lost Jin. I miss everyone. I want to spend time with them like always but it will never be the same without Jin. I want to call them but I don’t know what to say and I had a hard time too. I remember how Jin always takes care of us and how he never leaves us behind no matter what happened. He is the one who always cheer me up when I’m feeling down and tell me that it’s okay when I make mistakes but now I have no one to talk to anymore. Jin is irreplaceable and that will never change. I have to accept that he’s gone forever but I can’t no matter how hard I try. I have to move on, one way or another.

I don’t feel like myself today. I woke up like usual and start my everyday routine but something doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel like doing anything so I just lie down on the bed and stare blankly at the wall. Suddenly, something catches my eyes. I stand up and took the piece of paper that was lying on the ground. It was a letter from Jin. I suddenly feel emotional. I bring the paper to the bathroom and sit in the bathtub to read it. My clothes are still on but I couldn’t care less. I was soaking wet because there’s still water in the bathtub but it didn’t bother me. It was cold and my skin starts to become pale. I promised myself not to read that letter again because it gave me suicidal thoughts but I feel like reading it again today. The content is not much but it still leaves a big effect on me. Jin was telling me to take care of myself and not to feel sad when he leave and so on. This is not fair. Jin doesn’t deserve to die. If there’s a person who deserve it, that’s me. I don’t want to live without you so please allow me to follow you. I burn his letter and buried my head in the water hoping that I can follow his path.

Yoongi's POV

It felt weird being the oldest in the group. I don’t want to be the oldest but now that we had lost Jin, It’s my responsible to take care of the others. I want to comfort everyone but I’m breaking too. Did I make a mistake by being the closest to him? We are the oldest in the group and Jin understands me the most and we always share our thoughts. I was happy to have him as my closest friend and I never thought that I will lose him in such a short time. I never had the change to tell him how much he meant to me but now I can only keep those words in my head. I didn’t meet anyone for a week now. I keep myself locked from the world because it hurts to see everyone having fun. They said it will get better after a while because u will start to forget about that person but that phrase is wrong. As the day passes, I start missing him more. I start to think if I should end my life because I miss him so much.

No one contact each other after the incident. We are being selfish by doing it but we need our time alone to calm ourselves. I feel sad thinking about the others. They are still young but they have to get through something like this and I hate myself for not being there to cheer them up. I’m useless. I’m not even qualified to be their hyung. Everyone was happy when he was here but now everyone has to face the sorrow of losing him. I’m the one who deserve to die not Jin. I just realize that I was holding a lighter the whole time. I make a small flame and bring it closer to my face. I can feel the heat and I like the feeling of it. The small flame annoys me. I look for the gasoline and pour it on my bed. I stand on it while holding the lighter ready to set it on fire. I didn’t hesitate and throw the lighter on the bed after lighting it up. The flame starts to get bigger and I’m starting to feel the heat.

Namjoon’s POV

A week has passed since that incident and I can’t accept the fact that it’s real. Every day, I woke up hoping that it was all a dream and everyone is still the same but we can’t fight reality. We have to face it and that’s what I am trying to do right now. I go to work like I used to before Jin died and try to live like I used to everyday. But this time is without the boys. I am not brave enough to meet them because it just reminds me that we had lost one of our friends.

 I work at a petrol station and it’s rough because most of the customers treat us like a slave. My work is to fill the fuel tank. I thought I can get at least a thank you from the customer but they just throw the money from the window and left after I fill in their tank. It would mean a lot to me if they at least put a smile on their face for me but people nowadays are too busy to care about other people’s feeling. I feel like I’m not needed here. Even if I quit, they will find a replacement and everyone will continue their live with or without me. Maybe I’m better off dead. I feel like I should burn this place with me. Burn the last piece of my life with me and everything will be alright after that. Am I right?

Taehyung’s POV

These days, I spent most of my time outside because I don’t like staying at home. I miss everyone but I feel better without them. I don’t want to be reminded that Jin is gone so it’s better to be alone. I don’t know where I’m heading but I keep walking. I can hear the sound of the busy streets and the sound of people talking around me. The city is alive but I feel like I’m dead. I’m just finding an excuse to stay alive but I can’t find any. The boys are my only source of happiness and I don’t know how to keep living since Jin’s death has tears us apart. I need to find a way to get over it and keep moving on. That’s what Jin used to tell me when he was still alive.

I think I should get back home since its starting to get dark. I was walking to my apartment when I heard screaming coming from my house. It was my mom. I can see my step father shouting at my mom and she’s yelling back at him. I didn’t bother because I’m used to it. Every day is the same, my step father come home drunk and asked for money from my mom. I don’t want to interfere because it’s my mom decision to married to him even though I tell her not to. I was about to go into my room when I saw him hitting her. I was rage in anger because no one has ever hit my mom like that and there’s no way I’m going to let him go. My mom was shouting in pain but he kept hitting her. I scanned the room and found the glass bottle on the table. I took it and hit his head as hard as I could. The bottle broke into pieces and I took the remaining piece on my hand and stab him over and over again. Finally, I came back to my senses. I look at what I have done. My mom was shocked and she looks scared. I was scared too. I don’t know if he’s still alive or not. I drop the bottle and run as fast as I could. What have I done?