The bell rang which signified that lunch had began.

Great, I’m going to get lectured all of lunch, Sungjong thought to himself. All the students had left the room eager to see what was being served in the cafeteria today. Hoya lingered at the doorway waiting for Sungjong. "Don't wait up, I have to talk to Sunggyu about this," he held up the scrolled up piece of paper, "I'll meet you and the rest at our usual seats." Hoya said a quick goodbye to them both and disappeared out of view. 

Sunggyu's stare was grim, "Sungjong, you can't keep slipping up like this." 

"I tried studying, you saw me! I stayed up until two in the morning studying for this exam. You even tried helping me study and you're the goddamn teacher," he threw his hands up in the air in defeat. "I'll do better next time, I promise," he said in hopes of escaping his older brother's fury. 

Sunggyu ran his hands through his hair and sighed, an obvious sign something else was bugging him. “Sungjong, I talked to the head of the department and he said that if you slip up one more time your scholarship will be revoked… You’re my brother and I want to help you but my hands are tied," he paused, "I’ve set some money aside for a tutor, I asked Mr. Nam in class B and he said he wouldn’t mind. You don’t need to worry about paying, I’ll handle everything.” 

“No, you aren’t doing that,” Sungjong was at a loss for words. Sunggyu had done so much for him over the years from talking to their parents to letting Sungjong study in Seoul to taking him in to his appartment. “I’ll find a way to get a tutor, you don’t need to pay for me. I’m going to use the money I saved up from those modeling gigs I do,” Sunngyu was about to protest but was cut off by the younger, “Don’t argue with me on this. Let me figure this out on my own. I can’t always rely on you to take care of me,” he sighed defeatedly walking towards the door, “I’ll see you at home, I won't be back till late.”

Downtrodden by the news of the impending loss of his scholarship, he walked down the empty hallway, lost in this own thoughts. He thought about all the modeling money he was saving up for a proper camera being spent on a tutor because he was inept at math. His current camera was outdated and just about broken. The strap was tattered, the lens banged up, and the flash only worked a quarter of the time. He had tried to fix it, he even brought it to a repair man but was told the cost of fixing it was more than the worth of the camera. He didn’t know much about using a camera but he liked experimenting with different modes. Hoya and Sungyeol were usually the one’s who took photos of him since Dongwoo couldn’t hold still to get a good shot. They were more comfortable taking the photos than being in photo so it worked out for all four of them, Sungjong would model and they would get to work on their camera skills.

Thinking back to when he was younger, he reminisced over his struggle with his body image. He was too fat or too thin on any given day despite being of a healthy weight. He outwardly cringed thinking about the year he tried to speak in a lower octave to give off a more masculine feel. Back in Gwangju, he constantly would compare himself to other classmates and for the longest time he felt like a stranger in his own skin.

Things got much better when Sunggyu and his father came into the picture. He finally had someone to talk to about his problems and luckily Sunggyu offered up some good advice. He thought back to a particular conversation the two had and in which Sunngyu shared some life altering words, “When you think about all the things you want to change about yourself, everything gets harder. You no longer feel like you’re good enough or that you’re worth it. It’s a dangerous path but once you realize that all those things don’t matter is when you start to see how valuable you are. You get older and you realize that all those things that society deems ‘beautiful’ or ‘handsome’ really isn’t the case. Eventually you realize that and it’s then you start to accept yourself.” Sunggyu admitted that he too struggled with his looks but eventually as time went on, he came to accept that his worst critic was himself and that aspiring to be like other people would always bring unhappiness.

The love for modeling came about during their parents wedding. The photographer had taken a photo of him laughing with his mother and asked if he wanted to see the preview. When he looked at the viewfinder he was taken back. The image captured the pure unfiltered joy of the moment. It caught the joy between mother and son. It seemed as if his mother’s wedding dress was gleaming and that his own suit shined. He finally began to feel love for himself, he didn’t need to adhere to what society had deemed ‘handsome’. He finally began to understand the notion of self-love. He loved how the camera seemed to capture the emotions in his felliniesque eyes, he loved the exactness of his square jaw despite that once being his complex, he loved how a simple quirk of the mouth could portray so many feelings and emotions, he finally began to love himself for him.

He continued down the halls, blissfully unaware of his surroundings as he reminisced over old times. I miss being in front of the camera… if only my grades--

His own thoughts interrupted as he collided with someone. He fell to the ground, his notebooks spilling out of his hands. “Watch where you’re going, idiot!” screeched as he walked away It takes to to tango, , he thought to himself. The fall had knocked the breath out of him, he sat for a moment before beginning to pick up his stuff.

He began reaching for his math flashcards that had fallen out of the notebook pocket when his hand briefly touched another. Someone had crouched beside him to help. “Thank you-” he looked up and was suddenly breathless, “uh.. Myungsoo,” he blushed.

Myungsoo nodded and continued picking up the flashcards. Sungjong continued to stare at him in disbelief, the man was absolutely gorgeous in person. From his fringe, to his deep set eyes, the sharp lines of his nose, and his perfect lips. Oh.. those lips would look good wrapped around... STOP. No dirty thoughts. He mentally chastised himself, thinking of how it would look if Myungsoo noticed that he was sporting a . He cast his gaze downwards and noticed the camera strap hanging from the older boy’s neck. A photographer? He deserves to be in front of the camera. He also noticed the viewfinder of the screen was still on and was paused on a picture. He leaned forward for a better view when he saw the outline of a figure walking down the hallway. It was beautiful, the lighting coming through the windows, the natural movements of the model, the whole image felt so dreamy… that is when he noticed it.

The figure in the photo was him.

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AN: I haven't updated in so long, forgive me! I'm hoping to be more consistent now that I have more free time in my schedule! Let me know where you think the story is headed next. Enjoy!