Mister Mime and Miss Chatterbox

Author: gaksitalGaksital

Title : [5/5]

You absolutely rocked the title. It’s very unique. 

Foreword/ Description : [14/15]

The description was straight to the point, neither revealing too much, nor leaving the reader in the dark about what to expect. It was intriguing. The contrast between the two main characters was perfectly outlined and it gives the reader that shiver of anticipation and the urge to click and read the next chapter, just to meet the characters. Well done here! :)

You’ve done a good job on the foreword too. Instead of providing the readers with extracts from the story, you gave them quotes which best describe the story. I also loved how you introduced the characters as ‘Mister Mime’ and ‘Miss Chatterbox’, instead of their names, which you instead inserted in the ‘Characters’ space.

Plotline : [13/15]

Kudos to you for the layout. ;) I liked the fact that at the start of every chapter, you put one of the quotes you added in the foreword.

[Chapter 1] I was quite surprised when I noticed that you used informal speech for when Heeyeon talked, since you used formal language throughout the whole chapter. Despite not being unfamiliar to this way of speech, I was caught off-guard because I expected you to use more normal/formal speech. I expect this might be a bit confusing to understand for readers who are not native English speakers. For example, they will not know that ‘yer’ is equivalent to ‘your’/ ‘you’, when speaking. Also, you switched easily between the two in the same sentence; you used ‘yer’ and ‘your’ in the same sentence. I found Heeyeon’s manner unexpected, but sweet. One wouldn’t expect a five-year old to speak like that and it was a pleasant change from the usual, perfect and girly little girls.

[Chapter 2] It’s nice to learn about how Sunggyu views Heeyeon. Sunggyu’s feelings for her have evolved and intensified from the gratitude he felt towards her for her easy acceptance of him and his disability in their childhood, and he doesn’t know what to make of them or how to deal with them.
Again, I noted the ‘ya’/’you’ change.
It was beautiful how you portrayed that a bond like friendship doesn’t need words.
Their interactions were funny and we could see that Heeyeon didn’t consider Sunggyu any less of a person because he couldn’t speak.
It was sad when Sunggyu found the silence unbearable. Often, we focus on the difficulties faced by the family of a disabled person, rather than on the sufferings of the person themselves.
It was novel to see Sunggyu feeling jealous.
The conversation in the principal’s office was hilarious, especially with a hysterical Taeyeon!
Even though Dongwoo was really rude and offending, Heeyeon shouldn’t really have reacted like that and I felt bad for Sunggyu who felt useless because of his disability.

[Chapter 3] Sunggyu appears to be quite the ping-pong ball. He’s being hit on both sides and doesn’t know whose side to take.
Sunggyu was struck dumb (figuratively) due to the new emotions swirling inside him. It’s sad how little Sunggyu thinks of himself and how he thinks he’s not good enough got Heeyeon.
We can see what Sunggyu thinks of his friends. Dongwoo is the careful one while Heeyeon is outgoing.
He’s finally realising the depth of his feelings for her and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
I could feel Sunggyu’s pain when he learnt that the girl he loved was in love with his friend. It was hard to see him b