jihoon doesn't clearly remember how this all happened. all he knows is that seungcheol is an and he's pretty stupid for befriending him, but jihoon won't necessarily leave him in the middle of nowhere at midnight on his own.

jihoon remembers driving with his only one eye open. literally. its not everyday that he gets a call in the middle of the night, while he's peacefully sleeping. but because seungcheol is jihoon's friend (and he is sort of-maybe-kind of-in love with him,) he decides to sacrifice a good night sleep (that he rarely gets) to save his sorry .

it isn't the first time that jihoon has to pick up seungcheol from the bar, but not this late. but you can't really blame the boy. it has only been weeks since seungcheol found his (ex)boyfriend grinding with a woman on their own ing bed in their own ing shared apartment and seungcheol felt like breaking everything he sees. ever since that day seungcheol's been a mess. in the morning he's always gloomy and he rarely eats and talks, while at night he would always end up in the club or at the bar or even at a random stranger's party, even though when he wakes up with a massive headache and says "im never drinking again." 

but jihoon has his limits. he's tired of waking up in the middle of the night to pick him up. he's tired of trying to make seungcheol happy. but most of all he's tired of trying to make seungcheol see. to make him see that he's there. that he would never hurt him. and that he would never break his heart. but seungcheol's too blind (and still too in love with his ex) to see that.

jihoon arrives at the infamous bar that seungcheol's always at. he exits the driver seat with a sigh and slams the door shut. the bouncer (jihoon's close friend) lets him in because he knows he's just here to pick up his friend and not actually dance and make out with everything he sees that has legs.

the peach haired boy moves on his tiptoes and searches for his friend in the massive crowd, only to find him grinding with a man that he has never seen before. so he pries the boy off the (ugly) man and drags him to his car.

when seungcheol's safely sat on the passenger seat and jihoon's already starting the engine, seungcheol starts giggling and jihoon knows drunk-giggling-seungcheol is the worse seungcheol you're ever gonna see in your life.

"he-hey ji-jihoon." seungcheol doesn't stop giggling and moving that jihoon has to calm the boy down.

"hey, cheol." 

"wh-where ar-" he hiccups, "we g-going?" 

"home." 

"o-okay." the brunette giggles and starts talking. jihoon's not really fond of drunk-giggling-talkative-seungcheol but he lets him have his fun. after all, he is drunk and he wont even remember this moment tomorrow morning, because he's too busy puking out his guts and groaning about his life.

once they arrive at seungcheol's apartment (finally, the boy is quiet and slightly asleep now), jihoon tries his best to drag the drunk boy to his room. he uses his spare key and unlocks the door, throws the boy in the couch, and gets up to leave. 

"ji-jihoon."

jihoon looks back at seungcheol.

"please stay." 

there is a thousand things that jihoon can think of why he should not stay. most importantly, he's drunk. he doesn't know what he's saying or thinking. but seeing seungcheol at this state, depressed and sad and done with his life, jihoon decides to stay. he skids beside seungcheol's body and lays down in an awkward position. his arm was under the other's head and their legs were all tangled limbs. jihoon doesn't complain and soon enough, the drunken brunette is already snoring.

jihoon wraps his arm (the one not under seungcheol's head,) and pulls him closer, to make sure he wouldn't fall. and because jihoon can't really lift his head and lay down at the same time, he places his head on the older's chest. he thinks about these past few weeks and can't help but stare at seungcheol's face. he looks so peaceful and so beautiful. not girl-beautiful, but just beautiful. like nothing can break him and nothing can ruin him. but he knows better, being his best friend, he knows how much he's been through. all the break-ups, the cheating exes, and even his parents' divorce. he was always there. stayed with him and helped him with all the pain he's been through. 

jihoon's eyelids start drooping and the next thing he knows, he's asleep.

 

the next morning, jihoon wakes up in a tangle of limbs and he's surprised seungcheol hasn't fallen from the too small couch. he wakes up and walks to the kitchen to make his friend breakfast. he works quickly, leaving a stack of pancakes and a note on the table and quickly leaves seungcheol's apartment.

jihoon is sitting on his bed with his head in his hands and mentally lists down why he loves seungcheol.

1. he's been his best friend before they could even walk.

2. he's pretty smart.

3. he's kinda cute.

it's not a long list, but it's enough for jihoon. but the real reason, jihoon still doesn't know. maybe it's because he always stood up for him during fifth grade, when he was being bullied. or maybe because he stayed his friend even though everyone hated him in highschool. or, it was because he was there. nobody ever was, not his parents, his 'friends', no one. but seungcheol, he stayed. maybe that's why jihoon's doing this. why he would sacrifice everything for him. maybe that's the reason why he's in love with him.

jihoon stands up and ignores the burning sensation on his chest and drives for seungcheol's place. he finds seungcheol still sleeping in the couch, but the plate he left was empty and the note was gone. he washes the plate and shakes the older boy.

"cheol? hey, cheol. wake up," 

seungcheol just groans and moves to his other side.

"seungcheol, wake up. you can't stay asleep forever."

"my head hurts" seungcheol groans, starting to wake up again.

"i know." jihoon sighs and grabs a cup of water and some advil from the cupboard.

"here" 

seungcheol quickly thanks him and swallows the pill with the water quickly and lays back down. he feels like , like he usually feels every morning. but jihoon never leaves. he sits on the couch with seungcheol's legs on his lap. he can't open the tv because it's loud. he can't play with his phone either because the battery is dead. so he tries to comfort seungcheol instead. he pats his back and sings to him quietly. he's not sure if he's helping, but the other's not really complaining so he doesn't stop.

"jihoon?" seungcheol says.

"yes?" jihoon stops singing.

"why are you still here?" he didn't really mean it in a rude way, but it just kind of went out of his mouth like word vomit.

jihoon answers anyway, "i can't really leave you alone can i? you have a hangover and what if you vomit in your carpet again, i'm gonna be the one to clean that anyway,"

"no, but, i mean. why are you still here? with me? after everything that happened? i owe you so much, you know? if it weren't for you, i'd probably be lost right now." 

seungcheol's not sure, but he thinks jihoon might be blushing, "oh. well, it's nothing. i owe you, too. after all you've done for me in highschool? this is the only way i could think of repaying you."

'but jihoon, being here is already enough.' he wants to say, but his head starts hurting again and he closes his eyes, tries to forget the world for a second. then looks at jihoon again,

"thank you."

 

seungcheol remembers the first time he and jihoon had talked. it was in preschool, and jihoon was alone at the swing set, while seungcheol was playing with the monkey bars. seungcheol walks over to him.

"hi!" five year old seungcheol waves, and four year old jihoon jumps slightly.

"hello."

"i'm choi seungcheol, what's your name?"

"l-lee jihoon." seungcheol kind of thought jihoon's stuttering was cute. but that was only when he was five.

"nice to meet you, kim jihoon. let's be friends!" 

 

seungcheol's okay now, well, physically okay. he's eating lunch with jihoon on the dining room, which is fine. because seungcheol hates eating alone. and jihoon hates eating at home. they eat quietly. the room was quiet except for the occasional sounds of chewing and swallowing. everything looked fine, but boyh boys felt far from it. jihoon wants to speak up, to say something about seungcheol's situation. and seungcheol wants jihoon to make it all better, because as of the moment, jihoon's the only person in the whole universe that can do that.

but they were silent.

 

jihoon's laying on seungcheol's couch while the older is rummaging on his drawer to find a good movie to watch. jihoon doesn't really care. as long as he's with seungcheol, he's fine. seungcheol decides on a movie with a spanish title that jihoon or seungcheol can't even pronounce, but they watch it anyway. it was a pretty stupid movie, the main character died at the end and the villian got killed by the main character's girlfriend or something. jihoon wasn't paying attention.

when the credits started rolling, seungcheol speaks up,

"hey, jihoon?"

"yeah?" jihoon looks at him.

"can you stay here tonight?"

"why?"

"i really don't wanna go back to the bar again. but i don't think i have enough strength to stop myself."

"okay." 

 

there is many things that jihoon wants to say to seungcheol but he's too much of a coward to say it. because (one) seungcheol is still in love with his ex and (two) who would fall in love with him? he's far from the boys seungcheol has dated. and he's enough with being his best friend. but he still has to know. he has to know what he feels. he has to know that he doesn't only see him as a friend. but as something more. something greater. so he decides that it's about time seungcheol finds out.

he gets up from the couch and walks upstairs into seungcheol's door.

he knocks, "cheol?"

"yeah?" he hears the boy from the other side.

"can i come inside?"

"sure. the door's unlocked." 

jihoon swallows and sighs before turning the doorknob. he shuts the door once he's inside.

jihoon finds seungcheol sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. typical. 

"what do you need?" he looks up from his phone to look at him.

"can i tell you something?"

"okay." 

jihoon sits next to him, "u-uh, i don't really know how to start. um, i know you would never see me that way, but i have to tell you. listen, cheol, i'm sort of-maybe-kind of in love with you. i've been since highschool, and i didn't really know how to tell you. i know im so far from the boys you've dated, and that you'll never like me that way. but i do hope this doesn't change anything in our friendship. is that okay?"  jihoon releases a breathe that he didn't realize he was holding and looks at everywhere, except his eyes.

seungcheol tilts jihoon's head up by placing his thumb and finger on his chin, "i love you too, dork.

and then they were kissing. it was chaste but sweet. jihoon's kind of unexperienced at this kissing thing, but again, seungcheol doesn't complain so he doesn't stop until they had to break apart from lack of oxygen. jihoon feels lightheaded.

"don't ever think you're not enough for me, okay? you are more than enough. i am so thankful for having someone like you. i love you, jihoon. so much. and i feel like an idiot for not saying anything, now that i know you feel the same way. thank you so much, kim jihoon. i love you." 

there's already a stray tear slipping on jihoon's cheek but he doesn't bother to wipe it and kisses him again. he kisses him again and again and again until their lips are swollen and blue. until they have nothing else to do.

in the end, they lay in bed, with their limbs entagled and jihoon's head on seungcheol's chest, muttering 'i love you's over and over again.

jihoon would do anything for him. even if it meant sacrificing everything that he had. because at the end of the day, he's already his everything.