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“I know, I shouldn’t meet him---”

“What the reason you want to meet him?” Mingyu cuts Seungcheol words and moved straight to the point without wasting his time.

Seungcheol finding himself hard to explain the reason even he already has it, but Mingyu’s expression and serious tone makes him felt uneasy and shaky.

“You know, I’m going to New York next week, right? I will live there for few years or maybe for rest of my life, so I’ll not able to meet him anymore”

“There’s zero chance…I want ask him to forgive me. I hope you could make my last wish becomes true”

It was quite hard to see Seungcheol in hopeless, only Wonwoo could make him this way.

Mingyu drowned in silent, he didn’t know how to answer it, he doesn’t want Wonwoo to meet Seungcheol again yet Seungcheol is the child’s father, and this is his cousin last wish before he fly to New York and left Seoul for long year.

“I’m begging you” Seungcheol tries to hoarding his tears.

“But Hyung, I need to ask him first” Mingyu finally said.

His cousin nods repeatedly, “Alright, but I want to meet him tomorrow, I didn’t have time anymore. Please make him say yes….” The tears Seungcheol had been holding back finally fell.

Mingyu sighs again and nods as a reply.

A series of silence occurred right after on current situation, between them. Then, the eldest cousin begins to speak again.

“And I want to tell you something, as I promised I don’t want to keep any secret from you like I had done before” this time Seungcheol looked completely pale, Mingyu frowned again and wondering what’s matter with his cousin.

“What it is?” the taller moved little forward his face to in front.

“Junghan is…..” Seungcheol paused again, Mingyu wanted to slaps Seungcheol head after he pauses on time when he about to say something.

Mingyu sighed yet again, “Hyung, could you stop doing this? Just say what you want to, don’t cut it over…I won’t eat you. So just say wha---”

“Junghan is pregnant” Seungcheol told the other with a lowest voice. His eyes locked at ground.

These words left the younger jaw dropped. “H…he c…can---?” couldn’t help but stuttering.

“That’s the true reason why my parents choose him, Mingyu…” Seungcheol sighs.

“We already knew about this beforehand. I knew he can carry a baby since we date during in high school” The eldest voice is heard increasingly less.  

Mingyu don’t understand himself, why his tears dropped after received the news from Seungcheol. He couldn't help the disappointment budding in his chest.

Didn’t he suppose to be happy for his cousin who going to a father? Notwithstanding he was incapacitating by the news.

“I knew this is gonna hurt you, I’m sorry because I still have to tell you this” Seungcheol speaking with so much guilty in his voice.

This time, Mingyu wished Seungcheol would keep it secret, but if not, he still know about it someday. There’s no way he can run from his cousin and Junghan.

Seungcheol really a luckiest jerk he has known in his life.

The younger wiped all of tears on his face. Remembering about his life before he met Junghan, everyone wants pieces of him, but after Junghan, he’s such a loser to Seungcheol.

“You must be hates me now” Mingyu hearing a voice told him that.

Mingyu’s pov

Yes! I hate you so much, I really hate you! So you already slept with him? Then how about Wonu hyung…Huh?

Do you know Wonu hyung carrying a child too? And is your child, Seungcheol…! Your parent knows about that!  

And Junghan never tell on me that he also can carry a baby like Wonu hyung.

What I am to him? A place to stopover at time he’s lonely?

“There are lots of things we've been through together, most of them are sweet memories to me, when we become like real brothers for each other that’s the best”

Seungcheol tears falling and mine too. It was too deep.  

It’s true Hyung, but now everything has changed, I know it not our fault in some matters.

“I hope in our next life, we’ll find our true love without exterminate our brotherhood” Seungcheol told me while wiping tears from his eyes.

In our next life, I don’t want we know each other; I don’t want to be born as your cousin or be related with you, Hyung!

Its makes me thought I was living in hell when I know you’re had been together with my first love and moreover you’re married with my first love.

“I gotta go now, Mingyu, please fulfill my wish to meet Wonu” Seungcheol gripped my hand, like a beggar. I rolled eyes and nodded.

“Thank you my little brother”

“But did Junghan know about this?” I asked. He stared at me and nodded. It’s surprising me.

“I told him before I ask you and he allowed me” Seungcheol smirked at me, he kinda felt proud of it.

“Okay” just a word I could say. He mildly smiled, then stood up, patting my shoulder.

He left and get into Junghan’s car, he moves away from my sight, I’m still here, still thinking about my future, that all has been gone dark. Junghan was carrying Seungcheol’s child and Wonu hyung too.

Then, what I am…?

End Mingyu’s pov

With a thought that can never be solving, Mingyu get up and went back to his office. Feeling hopeless to live, he has no mood to continue his work, thanks to Seungcheol who makes him like this.

He doesn’t want to cry in front of Wonwoo and he want to keeps this news from the older, Mingyu tearing, how could Junghan do this to him, keep a most precious secret from him.

Mingyu’s thinking what he should say to tell Wonwoo that Seungcheol wants to meet him.

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Mingyu came back from work, he saw Wonwoo’s eating at the table, he joins him and after they finished, he told the older there is something he wants to talk about. Wonwoo agreed and walked to the younger’s room.

The older sat on bed while Mingyu sat on chair, “Hyung” he sighs, from the ways Mingyu reacts, Wonwoo knew there is something not good going to tell.

Mingyu look at Wonwoo with worries written on his face. “Seungcheol wants to meet you before he go to New York”

The words feel like knife sharply stabs to the older. Wonwoo gulped, they facing each other tacitly until Mingyu chance his view.

“W...Why does he want to meet me?” the older deep voice starts to cracking.

“Probably, he wants to give you a genuine good bye” Mingyu tries the best to give reasonable grounds.

The older look fallen too deep in confusion; Mingyu can’t stand to see Wonwoo like this.

“I think you should meet him” said the taller.

He got the feel that Wonwoo in fact want to meet Seungcheol again. Wonwoo keep rubbing his lower body. 

 “B…But…”

“No buts, Wonu hyung, you want to meet him, right?” Mingyu was not a wicked man. He’ll give some chance for a person.

“You didn’t mad at me if I meet him?” Wonwoo voices getting deeper and deeper as he scruples on the younger, who have became a guardian for him now.

“It is not like you’re going back to him, right? And I think this baby should meet the real father even Seungcheol didn’t know about this” Mingyu talked with miserable sounded.

“You’re such a very nice Dongsaeng, Mingyu” Wonwoo cares the younger side face.

 Mingyu likes how warms Wonwoo’s hand tacky on his face, but why does he’s still a younger brother in the older’ eyes? When will the feeling will change?

“When I gonna meet him?” Wonwoo cannot hoard his feeling a bit elated and anxious.

“Tomorrow” Mingyu replied.

“What…?! Why so fast?”

Mingyu giving another explanations and Wonwoo understand it very well and clearly.

They went to beds after that. The taller texts Seungcheol, telling his cousin Wonwoo agree to meet him. He not bothers to read Seungcheol replies.

Mingyu turn off his phone and he’s simply shut his eyes close.

Wonwoo couldn’t get to runs from Seungcheol on his mind; he keeps remembering their memories together, his tears falling down. Unconsciously, his eyes closed by itself. 

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Next day

Mingyu told Seungcheol to meet them at the park nearby his office. Junghan comes to accompany his husband even he refused it; Seungcheol forced and begged him to. So he has to agree.

But he doesn’t want to see Wonwoo. Nevertheless, Junghan doesn’t sure, why he didn’t feel jealous or something like, uneasy knowing Seungcheol will meet Wonwoo.

Probably, he knew Seungcheol has belonged to him now, moreover he’s carrying Seungcheol’s child. Nothing could break them anymore, also, Junghan thought he should gives Seungcheol chances to meet his former lovers who be with him when Junghan wasn’t around over the years.

Soon as they arrived and parked at a building, a side of the park, Junghan he ready to get off from car.

“I will wait at the park” Seungcheol grips his hand.

“Why, Seungcheol?” Junghan asked with a sweetly smile showing.

“Thank you” Seungcheol placed a kiss on forehead.

“Hwithing…” the long haired give a quick peck on the other lips and went out.

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“Wonu hyung…? Please call me if he does something to you, okay?” Mingyu holds Wonwoo’s hands.

“He won’t…Don’t worry” Wonwoo chuckled weakly.

“Just in cares” he’s hugged the older and later they moved out from the car.

“I will wait at the park” said the taller.

Wonwoo nodded and starts to move towards to the building where Seungcheol parked his car.  

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On in the course, Junghan stopped from walking when he saw a tall figure standing across him. Mingyu, who look was more streaked than him.

 “M..Mingyu…?”

Mingyu dislike when Junghan managed to make him sense of fear and nervousness. The long haired male walks closer. The taller froze on his place; his knees felt wiggle and he might fall on ground.

“So you come here too, huh? ... I will go somewhere” Junghan would prevent himself from Mingyu. Because he’s pretty sure the younger want to say or do something.

“Wait, Junghan” he was right, Mingyu won’t let him go.

“Can we talk for awhile?” 

Junghan’s pov

I thought so, Mingyu. I sighed. Is okay Junghan, this probably your last time, just gives him a great opportunity of you.

“Sure, Mingyu” I told him, he respond with a sadly smiled at me and shining eyes, I knew he’s barring tears from fall. Stop making me feel bad Mingyu.

We sat on swings side by side like we had done long time ago. He let out of sighs, I looked at him. And his mouth tries to say something.

 “Why?” I heard he mumbled. Then he stares at me with sorrowful eyes.

“I’m sorry Mingyu; I left you for my own good”

I said it that to him. I’m really sorry Mingyu; I know I’m such a selfish. I look toward to him. He is sending me exceedingly sharp eyes.

End Junghan’s pov

.

Mingyu’s pov

“You broke my heart. You could have anyone you wanted but why did you choose my cousin? You're so cruel!”  

I yelled lightly in pathetic and heartbreaking voices, my tears dropping nonstops, I look so worst and weak. I don’t care, I don’t mind, I want him to know.

Junghan was keep staring at me with a frown stays on his face, then he look at ground. I can see tears fell from his eyes. Don’t cry in front of me Junghan. Please don’t.

He took very deep breaths and exhale. Wiping his eyes, he looks up at the sky and sighs.

“I allow you to say what you want Mingyu, I won’t mad, and I already know how cruel I am to you. I such a person who is not eligible for forgiven from someone like you”

He said to me along with his voice softly, looking at me with watery eyes, making me feel guilty.

“I would be with you forever if…I meet you before Seungcheol….” Tears keep falling on his face, his lips shivering.

 Why he told me that? Did he ever love me?

And he continues, “Love is cruel, Mingyu…Even how you tried to hate that person, run away from them, still, you can’t even forget about them…I desperately regret I leaved Seungcheol”

“That’s why, when I met him again, I thought I already let him go from my life but I didn’t…I blame myself for all that” 

I’m biting my lips, my tears flowing carelessly; I’m shocked and so speechless.

Did he know that’s how exactly I feel when I’m with him? I don’t have any ideas how to talk, my mouth zipped by his words.

“I left you because I don't want to live in lie; I didn't want give lies on you. You’re too nice for someone like me. My heart always leaves to Seungcheol, I'm horrible, I’m so cruel, so just forget all about me, but remember and believe what I’m gonna say” he sniffs. I looked at him.

“I truly loved you during that short time” Junghan’s crying.

He’s sounding really sincere; I can hear sincerity in his voice.

I felt thankful and a bit glad, even thought just short time, Junghan could changes me, made me know what true love is and first love though I wasn’t his first love.  

“You never know how scruples I had felt what’ve done to you”

I hear his sobbing, I want to hug him, although, I won’t let myself fall for him again, his heart not for me anymore, and inside him, there’s place only for Seungcheol and their child.

“I guess this is our genuine farewell, I such a childish I left you just like that, on that day…I always says you’re immature but I’m the one who acted that way” he chuckled, wipes his face roughly.     

“And now, you’re staying with Wonu, right? … I didn’t know how far your relationship with him…But I’m sure he’s need you so much” Junghan smiles gently.

He’s really different from Wonu hyung, he's still able to smile talking about his husband’s ex lover. If Wonu hyung, he won’t be that easy.

I think I should have to say something, “That’s right, he needs me so much” I said with a sharp reply.

If Junghan knew what I meant is or he’s probably did known from Seungcheol’s parent.

“That’s great, Mingyu. Maybe, both of you could make each other happy. To be honest, Wonu looks nice and I’m sure he’s a nice person, if not; Seungcheol won’t fall for him, right?”   

“Yes…He is nice” I said slightly firmly, I didn’t know why, when someone mentions Wonu hyung name, I will feels protective over him. 

Junghan stares at me, “I want and I wish you to find someone better than me, Mingyu, or you might be having it” his gentle smiles sending to me. 

Does he just saying that to me? He’s meant Wonu hyung? For replace his places on my heart?  

“Did you mean Wonu hyung?” I asked with a frowned.

Junghan nods at me and suddenly, he stands up from the swings.

“I have to go now… Mingyu”

I stand up after him. He lifted up a bit of his face, we looked at each o