Chapter Eighteen

Deep love, shallow fate

Yeonhwa rushed to Yifan’s personal chamber, her heart beating faster than it ever has. He’s awake, he’s back, my Yifan is back. She did not know whether to cry or burst into breathless delight, she did not know how to even begin to describe what she currently felt. All she knew was that she wanted to see her husband, to talk to him, to hold him and never let go.

But all that was ruined when she saw Luhan standing in front of the chamber doors with a perturbed frown on his handsome face. Even so, she quickly approached him with an excited smile, dying to know what Yifan’s condition was like.

“Luhan! How is he? Is he alright?” she asked with a smile on her face, albeit a bit frantically.

“Your Highness,” Luhan greeted her with a bow.

Just as he was about to speak, The Royal Physician, Zhang Yixing walked out of Yifan’s chamber.

“Yixing! You’ve examined him right? Can I see him now?” asked Yeonhwa.

Yixing glanced at Luhan with a confused, worried expression before turning back to the young Empress.

“His Majesty is alright, Your Highness. He’s a bit dehydrated but otherwise, he’s fine. However…” Yixing trailed off.

“What?” Yeonhwa’s smile dropped and worry began to creep over her body.

“His Majesty wishes to be left alone for now, Your Highness. I deeply apologize.” Luhan replied for Yixing.

Both men bowed deeply before her. Yeonhwa stood there in shock, disappointment and confusion.

“D-did you tell him I was here? That I wanted to see him? Surely he’d want to see me right?” she asked. Luhan cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. His Majesty doesn’t want to see anyone right now,” replied Luhan, still in a bow.

Yeonhwa felt her spirits drop but she quickly composed herself. He’s tired, yes, he doesn’t want to see me yet because he’s tired.

“I understand. I… um… I’ll get back to work now then. Luhan, you can stay with Yifan. Please tell me if anything happens.” she said, dejectedly.

“Certainly, Your Highness.” replied Luhan.

With that, Yeonhwa made her way back to the study room where she had been reviewing manuscripts, desperately trying to get back to work. However, all she could think about was why Yifan did not want to see her.

-

Yeonhwa went back to Yifan’s chamber the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. She continued to do so and by the tenth day, with Yifan still refusing to see her, she decided that she has had enough and completely broke down in front of the door to Yifan’s chamber, not caring that the eunuchs and maids were staring at her in shock.

“Yifan, what’s wrong? Why won’t you let me see you? Are you angry with me? If you are, I’m sorry. Tell me what’s wrong, please don’t leave me in the dark.” she cried, tears streaming down her face.

The door then opened, but to her disappointment, Luhan was the one who appeared before her. He quickly bent down to help her up.

“Your Highness, please don’t do this. His Majesty still isn’t very well so…”

“All the more reason that I should see him! Why is it that the maids get to see him but I can’t? I’m his wife, Luhan. I have the right to see my husband.” she demanded.

“It’s his orders, Your Highness. Please, just… just give him time. I’m sure that when he’s healthy enough, he’ll come see you,” replied Luhan, his voice soft as if he were talking to a small child.

Yeonhwa’s shoulders dropped in defeat as she closed her eyes to regain her composure. After a moment, she took a deep breath and opened them.

“Until then, I’ll wait for him outside this door. I’ll wait for him, until he’s ready.” she said softly.

-

A month later, Yeonhwa still haven’t managed to even steal a glance of her beloved husband. She had faintly heard his voice through the doors of his chambers, but they were never clear words, only murmurs. Even so, they provided great comfort to her; she had missed Yifan terribly, so she had found solace even in his hushed whispers. And then she heard the doors open.

Yifan, being the strong man that he was, finally regained his strength back. He was still a lot thinner than he was before, but he was back, and he was healthy as a stallion. The first thing he noticed was his wife sitting on the floor, her eyes showing a mixture of surprise and happiness. Even though the sight of her made him want to hold her close and kiss the life out of her, for some, cruel reason, he could not bring himself to do it. No, instead, he ignored her and continued towards his study. Behind him, he could hear Yeonhwa walking fast to catch up with him.

The moment Yeonhwa saw him, a million different emotions rushed through her. She was surprised because he finally came out of his room. She was happy because he seemed healthy enough. She was sad because it took a month for her to finally see him in flesh. She was angry because he was being so difficult. But the moment he gave her a cold glance and left her there, she was dumbfounded and confused, but most of all, she was hurt. Would it kill him to at least acknowledge her? Shrugging the nagging feeling off, she quickly stood up and followed Yifan, who was accompanied by Luhan, into his study.

When he entered his study, he sat at his table and began flipping through the manuscripts left there, while Luhan made his way next to him. Taking this as an opportunity to begin a conversation with him, Yeonhwa began to speak.

“I’ve reviewed all the manuscripts while you were gone. There were some that needed corrections, and I’ve corrected those as well. The manuscripts regarding the taxes are on your left while the others are on your right. I’ve arranged them according to date so it’d be easier for you. And…”

“Thank you.” The Emperor interrupted.

His reply was curt and his voice cold, but even so, hearing him speak made her heart flutter. Even if he was being a jerk right now, her heart could not deny that this was the man she had given herself completely to. She was in love with him, no matter how complicated and confusing he could be.

Feeling a bit encouraged after hearing two simple words from him, she decided to bring up their anniversary. He had regained his health at the most perfect time. This was the third spring since they had been married, so she wanted to do something special with him, especially after going through so much. Then, she wanted to tell him about Daiyu, their daughter that never made it. There were so many things she wanted to do with him, but she wanted to take things slow, step by step. She had heard the maids talking about if a couple were to release a floating lantern by the lotus pond in the imperial garden, their love would be blessed and last forever. And she would definitely want to spend forever with Yifan.

“Um… Listen, Yifan. Tonight would be… um… Tonight would be the third year since we’ve been together, so… I was hoping if… um… you’d join me by the lotus pond tonight. This may sound ridiculous, haha, but… I want to release a floating lantern with you,” she stuttered, blushing a deep red.

Yifan only continued to flip through the pages.

“I-it’s okay if you’re busy. But if you have some time to spare... I’ll wait for you. So please come. Please?” she asked.

“You’re dismissed.” replied Yifan.

Luhan looked at her with sympathetic eyes, but she ignored him. Instead, all she could see was Yifan.

“I’ll be there at 7, okay? I’ll wait for you, so please take your time.” she replied with a soft smile.

She then bowed and excused herself while Luhan turned to the Emperor with an angry face.

“How long are you going to keep this up? You shouldn’t be doing this to her!” he cried angrily.

“Luhan, your job is to help me with state affairs, not meddle with my personal life.” Yifan replied coldly.

Luhan let out an exasperated sigh before leaving while Yifan continued trying to read over the same line over and over again.

-

That evening, Yeonhwa had dressed up prettily and was waiting by the lotus pond with an unlit floating lantern in her hand. The sun was just about to set, and its rays reflected in the surface of the water. Yeonhwa fiddled with the lantern, all sorts of emotions going through her. It was like the first time she realized that she was in love with Yifan; that giddiness and anticipation. She could not wait to be in his arms. She would tell him how much she loved him, and that nothing would ever get in their way again. When the sun had completely set, she was still waiting.

Suddenly, just as she was beginning to lose hope, she heard footsteps behind her, so she quickly turned around, relieved that he finally came. However, much to her disappointment, it was just Luhan, whose eyes were filled with guilt and pity.

“Your Highness, it’s getting darker and cold, I suggest you head inside. His Majesty… He’s very busy, so I don’t think he’d make it,” he said, his voice full of regret.

“No. No, no. I’d like to stay. He’ll be here, I know he’ll be,” replied Yeonhwa, still feeling very hopeful. Luhan sighed.

“Very well, Your Highness. At least take my coat,” he said, taking the article off his shoulders and draping it over Yeonhwa.

The Empress tried to refuse his kind gesture, but he insisted. She then gratefully accepted it, smiling softly.

“Your Highness, promise me you’ll go inside if it gets too cold, okay?” said Luha