Not everyone were able to take the news by silently crying or by just calling and begging.

Not everyone has that much power in them to stop themselves from totally losing it.

Not everyone could swallow the news with doubtful words they feed themselves.

Everyone thinks it’s their fault... I’m sorry. Things shouldn’t have come to this if I wa-

Jessica's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a boisterous knock on her door.

“Yaaaaa!!!!!!!!!”

That voice. She knows that voice. A voice she wouldn’t have mistaken for others'. A voice she has come to known for over a decade.

Hyoyeon

“JESSICA JUNG!!! OPEN THE DOOR BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!!”

The loud knocks on her door kept going. She was getting weaker. She needed to stay strong and refrain herself from running towards the door. 

Her best friend is waiting for her. 

The desperate voice was not helping either.

So she did.

She ran.

But she stopped.

She knew better.

She shouldn’t show how this is all affecting her.

No.                                                                                                                                                                                 

Because then it would be harder for both parties and SM wouldn’t want that.

She collected herself and slowly opened the door. Her heart racing with the unstoppable knocks.

The next thing she knows, the knocking stopped and there her best friend stood; all angry, her expression showing how unfair she thinks this whole damn thing is.

Before any words could come out of , the person on the other side of the door had already pushed her by the shoulders, into her own house.
 

No hi, no hey, no screams. Just roughly pushing her until they reached the living room.

Hyoyeon thought she wasn’t that harsh but the meek of a sound that Jessica made, automatically made her stop all her doings.

Instead she asked the owner of the house to sit while she stood tall in front of her.

So Jessica did. She sat. Fidgeting. In her own house. 

“So, mind telling me what’s all the bull everyone has  been talking about?”

The tone Hyoyeon was using sent fear down to her spine.

“Jessica..”

Hyoyeon was mad. She was furious. She had expected herself to be the one who would be leaving their "forever" out of all the members. 

Jessica. Their ice princess. She was probably one of the last members who she thought would ever leave. Because Jessica loved home. They were once her home.

But apparently, those captivating hazel eyes were glued to the floor. Hyoyeon felt sorry but she can’t be soft now. Not now.

“Jessica Jung Sooyeon. Look me in the eyes and tell me if its real.”

Hyoyeon's voice was so demanding, slowly, she looked up without her consent.

Those amiable eyes. Now they're full of mixed emotions. Angst. Sadness. Dour. But mostly disappointment...

“Hyoyeon ah-”

“Is it true?”

That hoarseness in her voice broke Jessica, she couldn’t bravely say yeah. So she nodded. And back to the floor her eyes were.

“Look at me... Tell me why. Sica ya, p-please.....”

All she could do was muffle her cries and shook her head. She can’t tell them no matter how much they beg her.

“Sica ya......”

What shocked Jessica the most was when the view of the floor was replaced with two knees wearing destroyed jeans and a pair of hand on both knees.

Her eyes widened. She abruptly looked at her best friend. Her proud friend. 

No....Hyoyeon ah.... Don’t do this... Just go please

With tears falling from her eyes, the saliva in because she was trying so hard not to cry, "Sica ya..... you know I never get on my knees. Ever. But this is you. So I beg you... Don’t go. Whatever your reasons are, just don’t go. Don’t leave us incomplete. We're not one anymore. We're not us anymore without you....."

The tears Jessica tried not to show failed to be kept inside. But nevertheless she tried. And tried. And tried. She can’t let them see her holes.

"P-please..."

So she did. She told her everything. She could trust her. She has been trusting her ever since before debut.

With one last promise.

"No matter how ridiculous you think this is, you can’t force me to come back. You won’t. And you can’t tell the others.”

“……”

“Promise?”

She was desperate. So she promised. She listened. She tried to understand.

That’s when she realised, it wasn’t something  they could fix. Not with money nor with power.

They were now sitting next to each other in complete silence. One trying so hard not to falter and the other trying to process the new outrageous information. 

“Gwaenchannya?”

“Hm?” Hyoyeon caught Jessica off guard when she asked her.

“I didn’t know I was using too much force on you. I’m sorry. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

Jessica rubbed her nape and shoulders,  showing Hyoyeon she was fine. “Aaahhh..... It’s okay. I think I understand.”

“Still... Sorry”

There was really nothing they could do. She knew that. Jessica knew better. That’s why she stood her stand. That’s why she had told her friend because she thought at least one needed to get her situation. 

Her heart ache so much after seeing Hyoyeon, the happy pill, the energy, the one and only Hyoyeon in her life, leaving. Hiccuping. But still her tears overflowed. 

The strong behind with broad shoulders no longer looked dependable. 

Her hyoyeon...was weak. And she was the reason behind it.

And as soon as the door  closes, she fell on her feet. The screams came out and this time, she couldn’t stop them.

But what she didn’t know was, Hyoyeon heard her cries. She knew. And she fell on her feet too.

I still don’t understand why you're still keeping that facade up. You're hurting us, and you're hurting yourself.

But I know you. You're not doing it out of your own willingness.

You're not leaving us because you wanted to. 

You're doing this for us. And I’m as sorry as you are.

 Mianhae chingu ya......

Hyosica