November 28th

''Stay just like that, no wait tilt your head up a little, yes perfect.'' Jaehyo murmured while stalking around the man on the bench, crouching from time to time to find the perfect angle he was looking for. 

''Jaehyo, can we go home? I'm cold.'' The boy whispered, lips slowly turning blue but still in that same small content smile Jaehyo had learned to know these past few months.  

Jaehyo lowered his camera and tried to remember how long they had been out here, surrounded by nothing but trees and faint white of the shallow snow that fell this morning. To be honest it wasn't his fault Minhyuk looked so beautiful in the winter, nose slightly red and a white shawl that contrasted beautifully with his skin color around his neck. He laughed and put away his equipment, moving forward he grabbed Minhyuk's hands which were feeling colder than ice and blew hot air onto them while rubbing them together. 

Minhyuk just smiled and looked at the long eyelashes that casted shadows over his handsome features. 

December 12th

''What about this?'' Jaehyo held up a a pair of red velvet gloves. Minhyuk sighed:

''I think he already has something like that.'' 

Jaehyo just dramatically groaned, throwing his head back. The wheels in his mind were turning overtime, what could you possibly buy for someone whose got it all? It was bad enough he still had to figure out what to give to Minhyuk without having to worry about Woo Jiho's stupid Christmas present.

''Come on, maybe we can find something in the music department.'' Minhyuk grabbed his hand, dragging a (still) groaning Jaehyo through the warehouse. It was huge and filled with running children, tired husbands that sat on every couch available and people filling up their shopping cards. 

Suddenly Jaehyo stopped in the middle of the hallway and Minhyuk turned around confused. There stood his almost 26 year old boyfriend, gloating at a giant nativity. The porcelain figures were blank and Minhyuk quickly figured that it was one of those ''paint it yourself'' sets. Jaehyo loved to paint, something Minhyuk hadn't known at first, Jaehyo had never spoken about it when they first started dating. Jaehyo wasn't necessarily a private person but he just liked to have things that belonged to him and only him. It wasn't until Minhyuk became exactly that, that he was invited over to Jaehyo's tiny apartment  where he saw the drawings, the photographs, the unfinished paintings upon the wall. And Minhyuk had felt how special this was, how few had come so far into Jaehyo's little world and he realized how determined he was to stay in it. So now, looking at the nativity set, it represented a part of something that Minhyuk treasured and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Jaehyo's shoulders and whisper a cliché ''of course darling'' and put it into their shopping bag, but he couldn't.  Not only was expensive, the figures were huge and in combination with the giant stable that came with it, it would take up more space than they had. 

''Jaehyo...'' Minhyuk murmured. 

''I know I know, we don't have the space nor the money.'' Jaehyo responded, quickly hiding disappointment with a small smile, while keeping his eyes on the object in front of him. 

Minhyuk hated when Jaehyo did this, hiding his emotions, throwing them away without a second thought because it suited other people better. Minhyuk didn't care much about other people, Jaehyo's emotion were most important to him and he wouldn't have them dismissed, not even by Jaehyo himself. Unfortunately, in this situation there wasn't much he could do. 

''How about we visit the nativity at the church on Christmas day?'' 

Jaehyo turned around and his eyes immediately lit up, the same childlike excitement in his eyes as before and he just nodded with anticipation while Minhyuk had to ask himself when he started to date a five year old. 

January 15th 

Minhyuk awoke in a cold sweat, his heart was beating fast and he grasped his sides because of the pain slicing between his ribs. He was disoriented and it took him a moment to realize to realize where he was. Slowly his brain started to recognize the room, the window that was always a nudge open, just because Jaehyo liked to sleep in a cold room, the door wide open so that Minhyuk could look directly into the kitchen where still hung a faint smell of burned cookies from Jaehyo's idea to make all the candy himself this year. The cool winter breeze hit his face and his chest in waves and he could feel tears spill over and slow sobs racked through his chest. He pulled his legs against his chest 'just a dream, just a dream' he chanted in his mind. 

Finally he felt a warmth against his side and he looked at the man besides him. ''Jaehyo..'' whispered into the night, the hair out of the man's face, images of his dream still fresh in his mind. 'Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream''

December 16th

''Don't say it'' Minhyuk warned before Jaehyo interrupted him. 

''I'm cold.'' Jaehyo shivered wrapping his arms around his body. 

Minhyuk sighed. How many times had he warned Jaehyo that that coat was too cold for this time of year? But no, Jaehyo insisted on wearing his thin black colored autumn jacket.''You will get cold' Minhyuk had warned but Jaehyo wouldn't have it: ''my winter coat is itchy'' and ''I look hot in this coat.'' And since Minhyuk couldn't disagree with that statement he had decided to let it go. 

''Well I'm not one to tell you I told you so b-''

''Sure'' Jaehyo snorted, not bothering to hide his clapper teeth.

Minhyuk sighed again in defeat.

''Okay come here.'' 

Jaehyo all but squealed and threw himself in Minhyuk's warm embrace, snuggling his head against the older man's chest. They continued to walk like this, which was slightly awkward because Minhyuk was slightly shorter than Jaehyo, so the taller boy had to moves his tall legs to the side and leaned his weight against Minhyuk, perfectly content, and Minhyuk wondered if Jaehyo had refused to wear his winter coat on purpose. 

December 20th

''I don't care if you want , go away.''

''Come on Jaehyo, we have procrastinated long enough.'' 

Jaehyo just moaned and pulled the covers over his head. It was too early, and he hated mornings. Especially before Minhyuk had made him his special home made coffee and he had the time to properly kiss his boyfriend good morning. He could feel two hands sliding over the covers to the top, long tanned fingers wrapped around the edge and pulled hard. Jaehyo had anticipated this and his knuckles turned white from the force he had to use to battle against Minhyuk, who was stronger than he looked, but Jaehyo was still stronger. 

After a few minutes Minhyuk gave up and let out an annoyed sigh:

''Fine, if the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go the mountain.'' 

Jaehyo felt the covers open at the side and Minhyuk crawled under them. Before Jaehyo could move Minhyuk had cached his wrist and planted them against the pillow on top of him, he sat down on his small waist and Jaehyo was officially trapped. 

''So what are you going to do now big boy?'' Jaehyo giggled before blowing his annoying bangs out of his eyes. Minhyuk just smiled and leaned forward, capturing Jaehyo's lips. He slowly bit on Jaehyo's plump bottom lip, before lightly and moving down to his neck. He used one hand to grab both Jaehyo's wrist and the other on moved down, sliding over Jaehyo's muscles as he marked his neck. 

Soon enough Jaehyo was writhing under him, small moans leaving his throat while Minhyuk restricted most of the sound by on his Adam's apple. Minhyuk moved his hips once in a rolling motion and Jaehyo threw back his head. 

''Minhyuk.'' Jaehyo groaned when he felt one hand sliding over his stomach in an excruciatingly slow space. 

'''What do you want?'' Minhyuk murmured, fingers ghosting over the small hairs of Jaehyo's happy trail. 

''Anything, just touch me, please.'' Jaehyo whined, all his pride gone, he knew this was the fastest way into Minhyuk's pants and that was worth more than any of his boyfriends teasing afterwards. 

''Hmm..'' Minhyuk let out a ghostly laugh against Jaehyo's chest, slowly moving down. ''After you wrap the presents with me.'' Minhyuk laughed, kissed Jaehyo's hart once and fleeted out of under the covers laughing loudly, leaving an astonished, and aroused, Jaehyo behind him. 

''You better come back here this second you bastard!'' 

December 25th

Minhyuk walked slowly, with Jaehyo close by his side. The trees were still empty, reminding him of that day in the park and he couldn't help but smile. He liked it when Jaehyo took pictures of him, he never tried to make Minhyuk into something he was not, he didn't have to gave him expressions that were not his own, he didn't have to dress up. He just had to be himself because that was all Jaehyo wanted to photograph anyway. He had even tried to make it into a sport, at home there was a box with hundreds of pictures of Minhyuk, Minhyuk with a wrinkle between his eyes when he was working, Minhyuk napping on the couch after dinner, personal pictures of Minhyuk that he would never show to anyone else. Now that he thought about it, he was regretful there weren't more pictures of Jaehyo. 

The road was broad and long, sprinkled with gravel. The cold winter air made his cheeks hurt and he wondered how Jaehyo was not shivering in his thin clothes. He was about to grab Jaehyo's hand but his boyfriend stopped walking and Minhyuk looked behind him.  

He turned around facing Jaehyo with a smile, but Jaehyo just looked serious and somehow melancholic. 

''You have to promise me you'll at least try.''  

''You're so annoying'' Minhyuk laughed, and he could see Jaehyo trying to catch a glimpse at the dimple he loved so much. 

''Yeah'' Jaehyo agreed, smiling too. 

''Okay.'' Minhyuk promised, giving Jaehyo a look of affection only few were familiar with. ''Didn't you bring your camera? Aren't you going to take any pictures?'' 

''Pictures of what?'' A quiet voice behind him murmured. 

Minhyuk looked behind and saw Ukwon and Taeil walking towards them.

''You know'' he laughed ''the nativity, the fake sheep, the baby born doll in the cradle, the whole shebang.''

''W-where do you think we are?'' Taeil asked after a few painful minutes of Minhyuk smile slowly turning cold and Ukwon looking down to the ground, unable to look one of his closest friends in the eye. 

Minhyuk was confused, they were at the church of course, he could see the building behind the trees, people in black walking past them. He looked behind to look at Jaehyo to see if he was as confused at Minhyuk, but there was no one there anymore. He could feel his his breathing turning shallow, an unfamiliar pain in his chest ripping him apart from the inside. He pushed past his friends, running towards the church, he could hear Taeil call after him, barely hearing his voice over the thumping in his head. 

He pushed the thick wooden church doors open and ran down the alter. He could see the casket at the end of the church and he finally saw his boyfriend again. His picture was in a golden frame on top of the wooden lit, smiling at him with the twinkle in his eyes. Minhyuk remembered this, the day they went to visit Jaehyo's hometown Busan in the summer.

''Oh right'' he thought, feeling sick to his stomach,  before the whole world turned black.