If you are an 18 year old teenage guy, who goes by the name of Jung Yunho and who's thinking that you have everything that you need and want in this world, what would you exactly do?



Well, I'm sure that you're not going to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge.



But you know what? What I just said about committing suicide by jumping off a bridge is what I'm exactly doing right now.



Okay, I understand if you're going to say that I'm freakingly out of my mind and I'm fully aware that I am. And I only have one thing in my mind right now, and that is to end my life.



Yeah, you heard me right.



End my life.



Leave no traces behind about being the Ever So Great Jung Yunho and just jump off this bridge and die of drowning.



Though, I know how to swim but.. Anyway, that's not the case. I just wanna die and that's the end of it.



Maybe, you're wondering if what has gotten into this brain of mine. What's the reason of this gorgeous Jung Yunho to commit suicide?



I could only say it in 3 words. And trying to let it out of my throat right now is making me choke. Well, that's good. I could die of choking too.



Okay, the reason that I'm going to kill myself is because.... I got dumped.



Yes, I got dumped. And I can't get over it.



You could say that it's the worst reason ever to be used just to commit suicide. But I tell you, for me, it's a BIG deal.



Imagine, I've waited for her; I've waited for her answer for 3 bloody long years... I waited and waited.. Only to find out that she was already dating and loving someone else. And what's even worse, she's engaged.



Our wasn't really an issue since she was 20 and I'm 18. But I've learned a very important lesson from this.



Never ever fall in love with a woman who's older than you and just forget about her once she'll tell you to wait.



Damn! I should have done that a long time ago. But the fact that I was so in love with her stopped me.



And now, I'm standing in this bridge. My arms spread wide. And I could feel the cool breeze of air touching my skin and dancing around my body.



I'm sure that anyone who will see me right now will not have any second thoughts about me, committing suicide. And I don't care if there's someone that'll see me and will scream for help. The moment I'll notice that someone's coming, I'll jump. I swear. I will.



For now, I'll just look and appreciate this beautiful view in front of me. The starry night, the beautiful lights of Seoul and the delicious scent of KimChi. Too bad I'll not see this sight and eat KimChi anymore once I'm gone. I'm gonna miss everything in this world.



I'm gonna miss my parents and my siblings. I'm sorry if I let you all down. I just can't take it anymore. You could shout at my corpse for being so stupid once you find it floating down the Han River.



My friends, oh gosh, I'll miss you guys so much. Sorry if I can't come with all of you for our upcoming gig. I just hope that y'all will have so much fun. Even without me. Well, I doubt that. But still, have much fun as y'all could.



To my precious dog, TaePung. I'm gonna miss you so much, Boy. Sorry, I can't play catch with you and take you on a walk to the park. Maybe, Dad will do that for you in the future. Just to make my soul at peace. I'll miss your and barks TaePung!!



Now, I'm done with my drama and goodbyes. I guess, it's time. I don't wanna waste any second anymore.



I took in one last breath as I closed my eyes. My brows furrowed and my fingers wiggled as I leaned and was about to jump.



I guess, this is it, huh? The end of Jung YunHo's life.. I've lived my life well and never regretted a thing.



Except for the 3 long years I've spent waiting for her. I never dared bat a lash just to look at another girl because I thought that it was already her. That she was for me. That I'll marry her someday and have 2 dozens of kids with her. But, all of that was just wishful thinking. I should have considered that it's never possible. Hah! But love blinded me and I let it blinded me even more. Anwyays, enough ranting, better jump now before it's too late.



Once again, Bye life! Bye Family and Friends and TaePung! See you in heaven once it's your time. But I doubt that I'll ever be placed in heaven because of this. Anyways, Farewell! GoodBye! I'm going to jump now...





And here I g-...





~Silence~






Maybe, I still need another minute before I'll jump...







~Silence~





I suddenly heard foot steps walking towards my direction. It wasn't running or walking in a fast pace. It was just walking in a normal speed. I wonder who it is. Oh, what the hell! I'm supposed to commit suicide! Why am I even bothering to know if who's this person? But maybe taking a glimpse wouldn't hurt? Maybe, I could jump off this bridge with my eyes open so that I could take a look on the person that's approaching?



I stopped leaning forward and decided to straighten my back as I placed both of my arms at my side. I slowly opened my eyes to glance at the person approaching my way. I even have to blink a few times just to clear my vision.



The figure was coming closer and closer. Such a small frame. Maybe, it's a girl? I squinted my eyes to have a better look.



Hmmm.. Blonde hair? The person's American?



I struggled to make out the features of the person approaching.



Wait! Why do I even bother? But there was just something inside me that told me to shut up and just wait for the person to come closer. And so I did.



Ooohh.. The person's getting closer. I could hear the tapping of the person's shoes against the concrete floor; echo in my head and in the silent night.



The moon served as my only source of light. And every step that the person makes, my heart would jump. What's with this feeling?







Step..










Step..










Step..










Gulp...









And a smile.




A very sweet and endearing smile. I know that she smiled! I know she did! The moon just beamed at her when she passed by me...



I felt that everything went in slow motion as I witnessed the person's smile. My heart thumped in a weird manner.



It made me return to my senses. It made me realize that....



I SHOULDN'T DIE! 



And that she's not worth it. Yes, she's not worth it. She's not the girl to die for. I could find someone else. I could love someone else.... I'm still young. And I'm too young to die...



I abruptly turned my head around, my gaze trying to follow where the person with the sweetest and endearing smile I've ever seen, was going to go.



And just for a split second, I managed to forget that I was one step close to my death. I almost lost my balance and was about to fall but managed to retain it afterwards and I stumbled down to the cold concrete floor. Whoa~ for the first time ever since I decided to commit suicide, this was when I got sooo scared to die. I could feel the hair on my arms and at the back of my neck stand up.



Rubbing my and dusting myself off, I immediately jerked my head up in the hopes that the person who smiled at me was there, looking and still smiling at me. But to my disappointment, the person was gone. Where could she have run off to?



I need to thank her. And I don't know why. Maybe because, when she smiled at me, I felt that I was alive again. I felt that I still have hope.



That sweet and endearing smile, it made me stop from killing myself. It made me want to live again.



That person's sweet and endearing smile, it saved my life. It saved me.

A week has passed ever since I'd decided to commit suicide which I think, okay I hate to admit this, was VERY STUPID. Yeah, it was very stupid.



You all know it, the person who smiled at me knows it (if she was really thinking that I was committing suicide instead of getting fresh air) and even the ants present at that time knows it.



And do you know what I want to do now? Nope, not commit suicide again since I'm old enough to know that it's stupid and if I'm attempting on doing it again, I'll never meet the one who saved my life.



Yeah, my only quest now is to find the person responsible for making me realize that there's much more to my life. I need to thank her; I need to tell her that I owe her my life. I need to find... that person. As soon as possible.



Well, let me tell you this. The greatest part about me not committing suicide anymore was that, I got the chance to correct the things that I need to correct. And that is, telling the girl or more likely the woman who dumped me that I'm over her.



Though it was pointless to even tell her that I'm over her since I have the feeling that she doesn't care one tiny bit. But something just urged inside me that I need to do it.



And so, I went off to meet her the other day and told her of how a fool I was for waiting for 3 ing years. Damn right I said that! 3 ing years. I spat everything right at her face. My anger, how hurt I am, how much of a fool I was and so on. And oh, you should have seen the horror in her face. It was the greatest thing ever, it was soooo priceless.



When I noticed that she was on the brink of crying, I felt really good inside. Okay, that might be rude. But anyways, I feel so light and relieved. And really happy. So, I said bye bye to, wait! I haven't mentioned her name, have I? Okay, so I said my goodbye to Go Ara who was, I'm so sure of this, guilty of what she did. I heard her mumble 'I'm sorry' and that somehow made me smile. Right after I walked out of her sight, I screamed at the streets that;



'I'm Freeeeee! I wanna live life to the fullest and go craaaazzzzzyyyyyyyyy'



Oh yeah, it felt soooo good. Many people we're staring at me, some we're amused and some we're looking at me as if I had just grown one big zit on top of my nose.. But nahhh.. Who cares?!



And so, I continued to live my life the way I had before (but this time, in a much better way).



My friends found out about me trying to kill myself by jumping off a bridge. I totally reminded myself to never mention about that fact to them but I guess my mouth wouldn't just know how to shut itself. So, in the end, I told them about me trying to commit suicide because Ara dumped me and about the person who smiled at me and made me changed my mind. And the part about Ara dumping me didn't surprise them at all.



"I know this would happen" Changmin said as he stuffed a handful of potato chips in his mouth



"Me too. I mean, it was obvious that she'd dump you in the end" Junsu agreed as he grabbed the pack of chips from Changmin. Earning him a glare from the younger man.



"Yeah, I agree with these two. Why would she make you wait? If she's interested in you. She would have said yes directly" YooChun said while nodding. Junsu handed him the bag of chips and he kissed Junsu's cheek in return as a thank you. Witnessing this, Changmin made a face which the couple ignored completely.



I was supposed to feel bad about what they all said. But somehow, I just grinned as I listened to the three of them complain of how much of a fool and a jerk I was for not listening to their advices and warnings and blah, blah, blah. Now, this is what I call my real friends. Only real friends could point out to you of how stupid and what kind of a loser you are. True friends could only make you smile though they're saying something that you don't want to hear. Things that you know are your mistakes.



And Changmin, Junsu, and YooChun, as cheesy and mushy as it sounds, are my real friends.



"Yeah, I do agree with you all" I finally said after a long moment of silence.



They all stared at me as if I've gone bonkers and all.



"Are you still Jung Yunho?" Changmin asked as he squinted his eyes, looking at me suspiciously



"Ahhhh.. Whatever guys. Whatever" I groaned as I slap my hand to my face. Ow, that hurts... a bit.



"Wait, Hyung.. What are you gonna do with that person you mentioned? I mean, you don't know the name and all...." Junsu started



"Yeah, Su's right. And you couldn't even remember the person's face?"  YooChun asked



Yeah, that's right. I was supposed to look for that person. But now that they asked me about it, it dawned on me... Where should I start?



"I'm sure she was blonde. That's all I could think of and that smile of hers..." I sighed and leaned against the seat that I was sitting on



The three of them just stared at me. And I know what they're thinking right now... Yep! I know what it's about. They think that I'm in love with my savior.



And that's true...



That smile would just keep on appearing in my mind.. I just can't seem to forget about it.



"Are you sure that it was a girl?" Changmin smirked as he opened a new bag of chips.



"Yahh! What are you trying to imply? That I'm blind?" I yelled at him as I was about to grab a pillow and throw it at his direction.



"I mean, you keep on addressing that person as a "HER" but couldn't you at least consider that it was a GUY?"



I stared at Changmin for the longest time. I know that the person who smiled at me was a girl. And I'm so sure of that. But what if... just what if.. No, it can't be. I mean, with that smile? Nope, there's not a chance that it was a guy.



"I'm sure that my savior was a SHE" I stubbornly replied as I crossed my arms over my chest



"Oh, suit yourself.. But you better treat me to an expensive restaurant if I'm right that your savior's a GUY" Changmin smirked as he continued eating his chips



The YooSu couple just sighed and decided to share the bag of chips with Changmin as they gave me some space to think.



My mind couldn't just accept and imagine that my savior's a guy, not with that smile. Nope, no way.



But a part of my heart, no matter how hard I try to push it away, tries on insisting. Maybe, it's a guy. We just don't know.



Oh, just SHUT UP!

So, it's been 2 weeks or so ever since the incident. And I did start on my search for my savior. But it led me no where. Every time I try to recall what she'd looked like, the only thing that would pop in my mind was that sweet and endearing smile, that's all. And.. oohhh, I can't forget the she was actually blonde.



I'd searched high and low but I just can't seem to find her. It didn't occur to me, not until YooSuMin told me about it, that there are millions of people here in Korea and if I have to look at them one by one and make them smile, then that would make me a total jerk. Though finding a blonde is easy since it's a rare hair color you could find in this place.



I don't know if I could ever continue with this search...



Junsu and YooChun keeps on cheering for me. Always saying HWAITING HYUNG! And sure, it cheers me up. But every time I glance at Changmin I would always see this smirk on his face. Oh, I know well that his also supporting me but the fact that he keeps on insisting that my savior's a guy makes me want to give up.



Okay, I admit it. I'm not into guys and you know how I got so crazed over Ara for 3 years. So that didn't give me time to get to know any girl or even a guy. And no, I'm not homophobic since two friends of mine are in a relationship already. I never really considered myself gay since I never had special feelings towards the same gender... but becoming one could be possible, right? WAIT! What did I just say?!



Day 5 of my search and still nothing. Yes, Nothing. As in N-O-T-H-I-N-G. It's Saturday and I made myself believe that it would be fruitful and exciting if I continue with my search. Which turned out to be not the way I wish it would turn out to be. My friends have been telling me that I've gone crazy and I've known that fact ever since I was in my mother's womb. I know that YooSu got tired on cheering for me and even Changmin too. But I guess he keeps on crossing his fingers that I'll soon find out that my savior's a guy with a and not a girl with great pair of s. Oh shoot! What am I even thinking?!



See, this is what I get it for never giving up on looking for a person that wouldn't get out of my mind. Though, it's only her smile and blonde hair that reminds me of her... But what does it mean once these two things keep on chasing me even in my dreams?



I decided to stop by at a cafe since I could feel my throat screaming for something to drink and my stomach grumbling for something to eat. I guess, I should have some rest for a while. I've been walking for more than an hour or so... and I do admit that I'm getting tired.



When I entered the shop, I heard a bell 'ting'. I looked around cautiously and to my relief there were only few people. I guess, 3 customers including myself?



That's good. Less people mean quiet. And once it's quiet I could think clearly...



I walked over to the counter to buy myself a cup of cappuccino and a slice of cheese cake. Oh, yum yum! Nothing makes my day but eating cheese cake and of course, finding my savior.



I settled myself on a table in which I could over look the people and cars passing by. We just don't know while I'm sipping my cappuccino, my blonde savior passes by and hurray! I finally find her!



I giggled to myself at the thought not caring if the other customers in the shop are looking at me. Naahhhh...  we're only few, it's not that humiliating. Besides from the fact that I was giggling to myself.. Oh, can't I just shrug it off?



I heard a tiny 'ting' which means that a new customer just entered the shop. I turned to my right to know if the customer was a grumpy old man, a business man clad in an expensive suit, a rebel rocker teenager with piercing on his nose, or a normal person like me who just wants a cup of coffee..



My gaze waited for the new customer to enter and pass by and OH HOLY SMOKES!!! Isn't that one hot babe? Oh gosh, I just found heaven.



"Hey there Jessica!" I heard the man who served me earlier say "You're looking good.."



Nah, isn't it obvious? She's not just looking good. She's HOT, man! HOT!



"Your blonde hair suits you" the cashier guy urged, obviously he's flirting.



Wait?! What did he just say? Did he just... OMGGGGG. She's blonde!!! Could it be that she's.... Oh yes! Oh yeah baby.. Bull's eye! I found her!!!



I patiently waited for Jessica (my savior) to finish talking with that flirtatious cashier guy over there. Can't he just, I don't know? off since I need to make a move on Jessica.



When I noticed that Jessica was already turning her back from the guy with a cup of coffee in her hand (I heard her ordering mocha), I immediately shoot up from my seat before Jessica could make her way to the door.



"Uh.. Hey!" I said as I waved my hand in the air (not knowing that I was looking like an idiot)



She turned around and smiled "Hey. Can I help you?"



I placed the hand that I just used to wave at the back of my neck "This may sound a bit weird but... we've met before..."



Jessica smiled "Really? I think so too. You look familiar.."



"So you remember that night when it happened?" I directly asked.



"What night?" She repeated as she pouted a bit, looking confused.



Aaahhhh. That was cute. I wanna make her to do it again!



I grinned at her widely "You know, the night at the bridge. Me standing on the bridge and I was about to jump. Then, you came and smiled and disappeared.. I just wanna-.."



"I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about" Jessica was about to turn her back and go but I stopped her.



"Wait! Please remember.. I know it was you"



"Sorry. But I don't remember passing by a bridge and smiling at a guy who's about to jump. I'm sorry but I think that you've mistaken me for another person"



No, no, no.. I know it's her.. I just know that it's her.



"No, wait again! Come on, I know it was you. I just know because of your long blonde hair...." I quickly trailed off when I realized something.



My savior's hair wasn't long. No, it wasn't long. It was...



"I'm sorry but I have to go" Jessica smiled as politely as she could before walking out.



And that smile... it wasn't the same.



I sighed heavily as I went back to my table. I found the freaking cashier guy smirking at me. Maybe, he was thinking that I just got dumped. Well, maybe I just got dumped but not literally..



Why can't my seat just swallow me up right now and just send me to some other dimension.. Perhaps, Wonderland? Never Land? Narnia? I just want to get out of here!



"Hey" A soft voice called out



I snapped out of my reverie to find that someone had just taken a seat right across from me.



"Yoh" I replied without bothering to look what the person in front of me looks like.



"I just witnessed what happened earlier" he continued



"Yeah. It was a bit embarrassing" I said as I stared at my cappuccino



The man chuckled. And when I heard it, it just made me chuckle too. That chuckle was just so soothing.



"Not that I'm nosing in your business but I heard from your conversation with the blonde that you planned to commit suicide?"



I played with the fork in my hands as I nodded "Yeah, I did"



"Why's that?"



I know that at this point, I'm supposed to get annoyed with this man who keeps on asking questions from me. But I just feel like answering him. I don't know why but knowing that there's someone (a complete stranger) who's willing to listen to my problems (beside from my dearest friends) kind of touched me. Though I don't know what's he's real purpose for minding my business but I just told him anyway.



I told him about Ara, about my 3 ing years of waiting, my plan of suicide, my savior with the most endearing and sweet smile that I've ever seen and so on.



I continued to blab and blab not bothering to have eye contact with the man across from me. But I could sense that he was fully paying attention. Though, he wasn't reacting or making any faces, I was sure that he was listening.



"Whoa~ that's tough. Good thing that you realized that killing yourself was stupid" He laughed merrily as he said this



"Yeah, I know right" I grinned. And then, after 30 long minutes of sharing almost half of my life to this guy across from me, I've decided to look at him for the first time.



And GAWD! I was blinded by the sight. Such creamy and porcelain skin, beautiful dark orbs, red as a cherry lips, and he has the cutest nose I've ever seen besides from mine.



I swear, I could see some halo surrounding this guy. Was he an angel?



"Kim Jae Joong" he said from out of the blue as he struck his hand in front of me



"Jung Yunho" I smiled as I shake his hand



He smiled back. And that somehow made me froze in my seat for a split second. Looking from his red cherry lips, my gaze traveled to his cute nose, to his luring dark orbs and then to his...



Oh my ing !



Why haven't I noticed his blonde hair??!!



"It.. It's you, is it?" I stuttered as I gulped the lump in my throat.



He gave me that smile again.



Oh my ing, ingly, ing !! IT'S HIM!

This time it's not just my instinct that’s telling me that it's REALLY him. But also my ..... heart.



This thing as big as my fist is beating as fast than its normal rate in the left side of my chest. I can't believe that it's him!!!!!



"Why? I mean.. Why did you smile at me like that?" I inquired as I stared at him.



Not because I was being rude and all. But this man in front of me is my savior. And damn! My savior's a man! Not just any man but a beautiful man. Damn, damn, damn it!



He took a sip from his cup before looking at me "Let's just say that you grabbed my attention when I saw you standing on that bridge"



"How? I mean.. I was-.."



"It's because I knew you're special" he said softly as his gaze tore from my direction and he looked outside "I didn't know that you'd look for me. And mistake me for a girl"



I smiled uneasily "Actually,  a friend of mine suggested that maybe you're a man. And I didn't expect that you're really one" and almost in a whisper "A beautiful one"



"Thank you"



I jerked my head right up to find him smiling that smile again. But this time, it showed something else. Something different from the smile that I saw from the bridge.. It was...



"Hey Jae Joong-ah, do you want to go out with me?"



I saw his eyes turned as big as Oreos and I tell you, it was such a cute sight. Much cuter than Jessica's pout.



"I thought that you're not into guys" He replied as he pursed his lips. Oh Gawd! I just want to kiss him right now.



What the hell?????



Grinning, I leaned towards him "We just don't know. Maybe, I am" and I gave him a playful wink



I swear that he blushed at the very action. That almost caused my heart to jump out of my ribcage. He suddenly stood up and he grabbed my hand.



"Wait! Where are we going?" Now, I'm confused



"You asked me out, right? Isn't it obvious? We're going on a date"



"But isn't it.." I didn't finish my sentence when I realized something. I finally found him and yes, it's a him. And I don't want to lose him again.



And, oooohhh... You Shim Changmin, you freaking food lover, I can't believe you and that genius mind of yours. Alright, alright, you're going on a date with your brain on an expensive restaurant after this.



"Yunho-ah?" I snapped out of my reverie and stared at Jae Joong



Before I could speak a word, he pecked my lips.



One heartbeat.



Two heartbeats..



Three heartbeats...



Four heartbeats....



Five heartbeats.....



"Let's go!" he smiled again with that smile of his after he pulled away from me. And I knew that smile is full of love. The love I'm ready to receive.



"Yeah, let's!" I chirped as we went out of the shop. Let's begin our date!



And from that moment, I knew that I wasn't going to wait for anyone to love me. I knew that I was in love, for real.



I was glad to find someone as lovely and lovable as Kim Jae Joong.



And it's all because of his smile.



-THE END-