Inevitable

I hope you guys won't mind it being too fast-paced in this chapter. I want all the good stuff when they're already a couple. Plus, the crucial points and more important details happen when they already are. :) this time period is set between Gee and Genie era.

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She was falling.

She didn't know where she was heading, or what would happen. It stung, it cut deep into her, knowing the person she could possibly love had to be a woman. The universe must be playing with her. Go, love a woman, let society be disgusted with your relationship, you think they will approve?

For the past months she had found herself standing in the dark of the night inside her room, carrying a carriage of ache and pain in her chest. Tonight, for the first time, she heard a voice. Sooyoung.

"Sica?" Sooyoung rubbed the sleep off of her eyes.

"Go back to sleep, Soo. I was just..um.. thinking.." Jessica wrapped the blanket tightly around her body, looking out the window, but her eyes only saw a certain girl.

"You can share it if you want." Sooyoung made space for her on the bed, sitting against the headboard of the bed.

What would Sooyoung say if she knew she was possibly lesbian? The thought scared her. A whirlwind of things cloud her mind and showed through her eyes.

Seeing her distressed signs, Sooyoung tried her best to persuade her to open up. They were two of the longest ones who knew each other, after all. "I'm here for you, you know that. Now, tell me, what's bothering you that for nights you just stand there looking in the distance." Jessica looked at her, dumbfounded. "You think I never notice? Every night, Sica. What's wrong?"

Sooyoung was never going back to sleep unless she knew. Jessica didn't want to lie, she couldn't. Maybe, Sooyoung could help her. Though nervous, she tried to act calm when going to Sooyoung's bed, sitting beside her. "What do think of lesbians?" Sooyoung didn't seem dazed at her question, as if she expected it. "Do you think it's wrong for them to love the same ?"

"The only thing wrong in love Sica is when it is selfish, is when it is greedy, is when it is not kind, is when it is rapacious. If loving the same is none of those, then I don't think it is wrong."

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She was falling.

Jessica doesn't know---or rather, shows her feelings often, not as often as Yuri does, and one night Yuri asks her to sleep with her when Sooyoung was away, literally, in the most innocent sense.

It was on a cold night when they laid together on their sides on Jessica's bed. It was pitch black at first, Jessica couldn't see anything. Then, she felt the bed shift and Yuri's legs bumped into her. "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were that close, Sica."

Yuri's face was inches away from her own. Jessica raised her hand ever so slightly and placed it on Yuri's waist, pulling their bodies so no space was between them. "Is this good?" Her breath fanned the corner of Yuri's mouth.

If the lights were on, Jessica would've seen the ripe tomate color of Yuri's cheeks. "Better than that." Yuri s her arm below Jessica's neck, so she would use it as a pillow. This tugged a smile at Jessica's lips, because months ago, she would just laugh this off at how normal this was between two best friends. But now...

Jessica laid with her eyes closed as Yuri stared at her, but she was awake. Yuri touched her hairline, they were soft and smooth, blondish. Yuri leaned in and kissed the little hairs, oh how she loved them. Jessica unintentionally stirred, and Yuri was still, not wanting to break the solemnity of their night.

Yuri's hand slid up between them, sleepily touching her face. Her fingers stayed on her lips, tracing them, slowly. And Jessica thought about how she could easily break Yuri, because Yuri loves her so much that all she does is attempt to hide what she feels. So she dared open her eyes. They were so close that Jessica's eyes saw hers, that Yuri's breath became her breath, and both were taken aback by the intimacy of the night, but never did they move away from each other.

Jessica took hold of Yuri's hand, kissing the fingers one by one. Smooth, womanly fingers. Jessica opened her hand and kissed Yuri's palm, down to the pulse point on her wrist. She held Yuri's hand and brought it back down onto the bed.

"Just why are you not sleeping?" Jessica yawned.

"I want to remember every part of your face before I fall asleep, then maybe I could see it in my dreams tonight." Yuri wiggled her eyebrows, making it look like a joke, but Jessica knew Yuri was sincere.

"You don't have to see me in your dreams. Dreams end when the morning comes, Yul. I'm here even when it does." Yuri couldn't think she could love her more.

"Let's sleep, I'm cooking tuna fried rice for breakfast tomorrow."

And they slept with their arms surrounding each other.

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She was falling.

How thoughtful, how audacious for this heart of hers to catch feelings for the tanned girl. Or maybe this was just a phase, that she didn’t have enough experience with the opposite to be sure she was…lesbian. She spends almost all her time with Yuri, if not the members, after all.

The memories with Yuri plagued her in the past few months.

No, not plagued. Yuri could never be an annoyance or a botheration. But she still felt the heat of Yuri’s lips on her temples, and Yuri’s touch stitched itself onto her skin, impossible to remove. Jessica’s hand reached out without notice, searching for the spots on her body Yuri has touched. It burned, the molten rock moving slowly beneath her veins, below her skin.

She didn’t know how much more of this she could stand. How could this body, mind and heart refuse to forget what Yuri has given her? Such memories are the ones she remembered in the morning, the ones she saw in her dreams, and the ones she looked forward to in the future.

And now, when she was standing in front of the 2pm members to shoot Idol Army, all she wanted was to be by Yuri’s side. She didn’t need another to be her partner.

Jay Park smiled and took a deep breath, his smile ever so bright. He danced in the middle, moving his body to the beat of the music. At one time, he pointed his finger at Jessica. She felt shy all of a sudden, so she covered to hide it.

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Jessica was sitting on one of the chairs provided by the staff, resting before the last two hours of shooting their game. Shivering in her jacket, squinting her eyes when they met the glare of the sun that entered through the windows. She told herself it’s not cold, saying it in her mind repeatedly. The hands on her shoulder startled her, they were unfamiliar.

“You’re easy to sneak up on.” Jay always had a smile to his voice. “Mind if I sit beside you?”

“No, please, sit.”

He took the chair by her side. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you with what happened awhile ago.” Jessica laughed, and shook her head. It was a bit surprising, ‘Seduction of Jessica’, but she didn’t mind. “You really are beautiful, Jessica.”

Jessica should’ve blushed, should’ve felt at least something. But all she could think of was how Yuri told her how exquisite she was, that she was unlike any other. And when he held her hand, her skin was screaming that it was not Yuri’s touch.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me? I told my manager, and he’ll help in making us invisible, if you want to, that is.”

The question seemed so repellent that Jessica ’s jaw locked to prevent her from saying anything.

“I really find you special, Jessica.”

She wanted to say yes, but doing so would make her feel like betraying. This shouldn’t have felt like it, betrayal, the idea of going on a proper date with a man. But Jessica felt a deep well of guilt if she knew. It would be wrong to go out with him. She knew what she wanted, who she wanted, more vividly than anything else. The image of Yuri’s face danced behind her eyelids when she closed her eyes.

She moved her hand away from his. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

She could not simply unbind herself from Yuri’s love.

When the girls arrived in they dorm, dinner was ready on the table. Jessica’s eyes searched for the familiar mop of raven black hair. Taeyeon was in her apron, with Sooyoung begging to let her taste, even just a little bit, while Yuri was carrying the bowl of soup. The moment their orbs clashed, Jessica was unwilling to break away from her gaze.

“You’re here!” Yuri’s legs moved her forward to put to soup on the table and jog her way to Jessica. “How was the shooting?” I am falling, now I am sure. Now I know. She could’ve easily said, but they have time.

“It was perfect.” Because it made me realize what I had for you.

“Let’s eat!” When Yuri’s hand was intertwined with her own, she knew she was right.

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She was falling.

Yuri's feelings were long sentences written on her forehead when she looked at Jessica chopping vegetables for the tuna sandwich. Apparently, the girl knew how to cook almost all things tuna. And despite Jessica's best efforts to avoid seeng the feeilngs, she sees them, and in moments like this brings out the giddy school girl who had her crush look at her.

Jessica laid the 18 pieces of bread on the table and placed tuna with the vegetables on nine of them. All nine of them had a movie marathon and she volunteered to make their snacks. Before she could continue, Yuri had gone behind her to give her her favorite, a back hug. Yuri inspected the skin just above her collarbone, she kissed it, a mere whisper of a kiss.

There, by her neck, Yuri inhaled her scent--not her perfume, but the scent of Jessica, the scent of her skin. Her scent was strongest on her pulse point, and Yuri slightly buried her nose there, lips lightly grazing Jessica's neck.

Jessica didn't move anymore, but she tilted her head to the side, giving Yuri more access. She was limp in Yuri's arms, but she trusted her completely. Jessica let out a quiet moan, and Yuri was encourage to plant more kisses, each one more passionate than the next.

Yuri's arm wrapped protectively around Jessica's waist, her lips travelled to her ear, smiling against it. Yuri didn't know how she would go on if there was no Jessica. She would never be able hold her body like this, never be able to smell her scent, never be able to worship her skin, and never be able to love her body and soul.

Jessica joined hands that were on her waist. They were holding hands, and they were staring at them. They were sharing a sacred moment, right here, right now.

"This feels familiar." Yuri told her as she rested her chin on Jessica's shoulder, not before planting a kiss on it. They found themselves in a similar position before when they were not admitted to being in love. "But different, because I..." Yuri stopped herself from saying it, afraid that Jessica might have grown tired of hearing it.

"Say it." But Jessica needed to hear it.

"I love you." Always.

Jessica turned her head to the side, and their lips were a breath away. Once again, their breaths were one, their eyes were one, their hearts were one, and slowly, their lips...

"Are the sandwiches ready yet?! We're starving!!"

And just like that, their moment was halted, but the romance stayed. Their love stayed.

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She was falling.

When they were shooting Genie for their mini album, Jessica's eyes were glued on her. The people saw the way her eyes squinted into crescents when she smiled, but she saw how it projected love into her being. They saw the way Yuri's lips would mouth the words, but she saw how perfectly it fit to her own. They saw way Yuri would crinkle her nose to look cute, but she saw the breath that she would feel on her skin. They heard the way Yuri's voice would sound when she sang, but she heard the faint, but sincere I love yous. They saw the way Yuri's hands moved to their music, but she felt the jolt of heat when they touch her. Everything about her was beautiful.

They were sitting a few feet away from each other.

Yuri was in her marine uniform, standing in all her glory, using the cap as a tool to fan herself. Moments later, she was folding a piece of paper, sticking her tongue out to the side in concentration. Jessica had to stifle a giggle at how childish Yuri looked. It was as though Yuri could read her mind when she looked at her, brows meeting at the center.

"What are you looking at?" Yuri mouthed.

"Me?" Jessica pointed to herself. She rolled her eyes at Yuri and grinned.

Yuri mimicked her and got back to what she was doing. What was she doing though? For the past minutes of their break Yuri had been busy with the paper, well the 3rd paper to be precise. When Jessica was about to get to her feet, Yuri plopped herself beside her, hiding her hands behind her back.

"Hi." Yuri said as the diamonds in her eyes continuously increase in their sparkle. Jessica's eyes mirrored her own.

"Hi."

Taking all the courage possible, Yuri held out her hands, which were revealed to be holding....Jessica didn't know what they were. They looked like three crumpled papers, red, yellow with a hint of red and white. Is this what Yuri was busy with this whole time?

"Oh." Jessica took the "crumpled papers", but didn't know what to do with them. Her eyes went back and forth from Yuri to her hands.

"I know they look a hundred percent different from roses, but they're roses. I wanted to give you real one, but they wilt quite fast, right? So I looked up in the internet about how to do a rose origami, but I realized it's far from simple. They're scented, by the way, our favorite scent." By that time Jessica doesn't care if Yuri gave her trash or whatsoever. Her heart skipped a thousand beats inside of her.

Yuri took the yellow one with the red tint from her hand. "This one means friendship turning into love." She returned it and took the white one. "This one means I am worthy of you." Lastly she took the red one. "I love you."

Jessica struggled with the words to say. They were not needed in the serenity of the moment. She craddled the papers to her chest, and Yuri understood that Jessica was thankful, that she felt her affection.

Dear God, how did it came to be that woman had to love this way?

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She was falling.

Jessica was lying on her bed, alone in the room, and close to succumbing to her much needed rest, but a knock on the door kept from doing so. She flung the sheets away from her body and walked toward it to reveal the person who dared to disturb her.

There was Yuri, so beautiful in her faded jeans and disheveled mickey mouse shirt. Jessica never fully apprehended how a girl could make her feel it. The molten rock that moved below the Earth, she could feel its advance, in her veins, all the way to her organs, mind, and heart. "Yuri..."

Yuri placed her fingers on her lips, motioning her to be quiet. She walked inside her room and closed the door using her foot. She was carrying to what would be illustration boards. She took out her phone and played 'Heaven', a song she knew Jessica loved so much. She held out the boards with short messages written on it. Never taking her eyes away from Jessica, she showed them, one by one.

'When I was a little girl, I always imagined dating men like Marlon Brando, James Dean, and Kwon Sang Woo."

Jessica gave a little laugh.

'Then you came and all I ever dreamt of was you'

'I know it can be a burden being loved by me'

'You deserve the whole world, and I'm just an island'

'Which is why I'll stop'

'But know that this down-and-out heart of mine will love you'

'Even if you'll look like a worn-out old woman'

"I love you." Yuri said it so peacefully. Yuri smiled at her, her eyes both scorch and warm. The brown color of her eyes were close enough to be fire. But they hinted at a tinge of sadness. She felt she was forcing herself to Jessica, and it became so unbearable for her at the thought of Jessica having to make ample time to take all of her lovedrunk actions. She was an insufferable soul for her and it made her deprived of oxygen. Yuri thought of how selfish she was, how she didn't even reflect on Jessica's feelings. She knew Jessica only asked her to show her love because of pity. She didn't need that. She would stop. Jessica didn't move an inch, couldn't move a muscle. Yuri gathered all the cardboards and smiled painstakingly at her. When she was about to depart from Jessica's room, the ice princess blocked her way.

“Stay, because I’m starting to love you.”

She was falling.