Body and voice tired from a rehearsal that had seemed to last for an infinity, Jessica hardly bothered to slip off her shoes before collapsing on the couch inside their dorm for a power nap. Life of an idol was hectic and demanding as ever now that they conquered charts with Gee. She had wished to catch at least an hour of sleep before the performance yesterday, but she could already hear their manager's calling for them to get ready.

She let her mind be lost to the thoughts of Yuri. Ever since their talk weeks ago, she became less distant, but their relationship could never be the way it was before she confessed. They were the best of friends, practically doing everything together, but then doing one thing would be such an awkward situation for the two of them.

"Show me how a woman loves."

The moment it came out of changed everything. Yes, Yuri would love her. Yes, she would show it to her. But yes, she wouldn't be able to reciprocate it. How could she be so impulsive with her words?  

"Sica-yah!" Taeyeon called for her tiredly. She walked lifelessly into the living room, and plopped on the couch set diagonally to the right of the sofa. "The girls and I managed to free ourselves for the whole night, so how would you like to have dinner with us? You’re not too tired, right?”

"Well, I was about to take a nap." Jessica joked. 

"Come on! We've barely hung out these days because of our schedules, and if we do have free time, it's not all nine." Taeyeon replied, laughing in return. "Get up!" Taeyeon walked over to Jessica and tried to tug her up by her arms. The situation almost felt like a kid trying to pull a boulder twice her size, only it wasn't twice her size at all.

"Yah! The two of you! We're leaving!" Tiffany's voice on speaker mode boomed its way into the dorm from the outside. Jessica and Taeyeon knew it was best to follow to save their ears from further damage.

_____________________________________________________________

When they met years ago, Jessica was immediately captivated by her tanned skin. It wasn't at all common for aspiring artists to sport such skin color. Yuri was proud of it, even taking all the jokes about it. She wasn't at all nice to her when they first met, too. Acting like an unnie, and making her take off her sandals. The were at the opposite ends of the spectrum, Yuri being friendly, outgoing, hyper, while she was, well, the "ice princess". Such people weren't bound to be best friends, but here they were, inseparable. Jessica loved her very much, but didn't dwell on the possibility of it being parallel to romantic. Yuri definitely meant more to her than the other girls she knew. Yuri was dear to her, but was it the implication of romantic interest? She wasn't sure.

More than any woman in Yuri's life, no one ever made her feel... different. The way Jessica's ice cold gaze would bring her the warmth inside of her stomach. The way Jessica's touch would send tingles to her skin. The way Jessica's voice would bring music to her ears. It was very different from the other girls. She has been watching her ever since she first saw her---even after humiliating her when they first met, but it didn't stop her from approaching. Something about Jessica was intruiging, mysterious. The beauty underneath the icy appearance was definitely something to behold for Yuri. Yuri wanted to love her in silence, no rejection, no wrongs, but greater is the regret when you don't say you love someone when they get to hear it. She was filled with happiness when Jessica asked her to show her love for her. Maybe, just maybe, Jessica would love her back, but whatever Jessica wanted, Yuri would understand.

Like a grace of a ballerina, Jessica walked towards the van, gaining the attention of a certain tanned beauty. Yuri sat at the very back, saving a seat for her. When Jessica reached the entrance of the van, she checked on Yuri, and just for a moment, Yuri's beating organ attempted to escape her body with the glimpse of Jessica's eyes. Jessica carefully entered the van, taking the seat next to her. Yuri scooted a little to the side, her arm hitting the wall of the van, to give a bigger space for her princess. "Is this okay?" Jessica nodded.

Despite the sweet awkwardness that surrounds them both, Jessica never failed to recognize the sentiments it would give her. Yuri deserved a man, or woman who would love her. She couldn't reciprocate her love, the society they lived in would never allow it. Jessica felt the guilt eating her insides, she shouldn't have asked Yuri, shouldn't have allowed this. But as she felt another hand holding her own, she questioned what she really wanted. It felt safe, right in Yuri's arms, in Yuri's love. She interlocked their fingers and brought them to her lap. "Is this okay?" Jessica asked her back.

"It's perfect." Yuri looked down, blushing at the small, yet intimate physical contact. Noticing no one was watching, Yuri buried the tip of her nose in Jessica's hair, engraving her scent in her nostrils. "Is this a new shampoo? It suits you." She lightly kissed Jessica's temple that anyone would barely feel it, but it felt like a jolt of a canon was sent to Jessica's skin. 

Throughout the weeks they have been more intimate in an emotional sense, Jessica would take note on the simple things Yuri would do. Yuri would occasionally kiss her forehead, hold her hand even if they were alone, holding it to her chest, smell her hair, and embrace her before going to sleep, to name a few. When she asked Yuri to show her how a woman loves, she expected dates, chocolates or even flowers. No, Yuri never gave her those temporary things, she gave her marks on her body, heart, mind and soul. It was driving her crazy. She couldn't--shouldn't feel this.

"Okay kids, we're here!" Sooyoung excitedly opened the van while it was still running, almost falling out as she did so. 

"Careful, woman!" Hyoyeon pushed her head downwards, earning a laugh from the other girls. They entered the restaurant, which had a dance floor in the middle, but nothing too fancy to be considered a club, the music playing was rather, mellow, for slow dancing. 

They settled on the far corner of the restaurant, away from the prying eyes of the public, even though they were the only ones there. One should never be too complacent, so they say. 

"We'll order Kimchi fried rice, samgyeopsal, pork bulgogi, japchae, gimbap, bindaetteok, mixed seafood stew, tteokbokki, ox bone soup, bibimbap, mandu dumplings, naengmyeon, and twenty cups of rice." Yoona said in one breath. The waitress blinked, perturbed by the appetite of the nine girls. She wasn't sure if she should take the orders seriously, but seeing nine pairs of eyes looking excitedly at her told her they were serious, and hungry. She wrote the orders and left them. 

"Everyone, this is "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by Elvis Presley." The waiter announced through the microphone.

"Hmm.. a classic. Let's dance!" Tiffany grabbed Taeyeon and Seohyun, leading them to the dance floor. The others soon followed, leaving Yuri and Jessica on the table. 

Yuri was contemplating whether to ask her or not. She opened , then closed it again. Jessica seemed to notice her and decided to ask herself. "Wanna dance?" Jessica took her to the dance floor without waiting for her answer.

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

The music filled the entire ample space, and Yuri admired the melody of the song. Though she couldn't understand the lyrics, she didn't need a translator to know it was a love song. She placed her arms around Jessica's waist, cuddling her to her chest. Jessica stood uncertain in the beginning, not knowing what to do, but feeling the beat of Yuri's heart under her chest made her feel relaxed. She wounded her arms around Yuri's neck, and placed her head on her shoulder. 

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you
 

Jessica almost flinched at the lyrics of the song. "I'm not really good at slow dancing. I hope I don't embarass myself in front of you." They both chuckled. 

"You'll never be an embarassment to me, Sica." Yuri's lips were close to Jessica's ear, and she felt it move as she spoke. "Don't worry, I won't tell the world the girl who knows how to dance ily and cutely does not have any clue how to slow dance."

"Yah..." Jessica lightly hit her shoulder. Although she was unbalanced and tense, being with Yuri didn't make her feel uncomfortable.  

"I didn't know 60s music could sound this... unique and beautiful." Yuri twirled them around.

"You don't even know the lyrics to the song." Jessica claimed.

"What does it mean then?" 

Jessica gulped. "The singer is saying he can't help falling in love with someone. Even when people say he's a fool for rushing things, he still can't help falling in love. He also says some things are meant to be, so he lets his love take his hand, and by doing so she takes his whole life as well." 

Yuri stopped them from dancing. She broke away from their embrace and looked at Jessica, face inches apart. "Then that makes two of us." 

"I-I..." 

A small laugh escaped from Yuri. "Come on, the food is ready." 

Jessica was totally unprepared for the feelings she evoked inside of her. 

 ________________________

It was at midnight when they reached the dorm. Jessica stayed up, stargazing in the balcony of the living room. 

"Is Sica baby awake or am I just dreaming?" There it was, another reason for the birds in her stomach. Sica baby. Yuri just had to give her an intimate nickname. Not that she minded though. 

"I couldn't sleep."

"Are you really Jessica? What have you done to Sica?!" Yuri faked a shocked expression and pointed an accusing finger at her. One of the things Jessica loved about Yuri was the fact she could make her smile even with a lame joke. Only Yuri.

"I'm Jessica, alright? Come watch the stars with me?" Yuri stood beside Jessica, taking her hand thereafter. She looked at their intertwined hands and placed a gentle kiss upon Jessica's head. Jessica was floored by her act.

"Sica?"

"Hmmm?"

Finding comfort in the little act of tenderness, Yuri said,"If you were the night sky, people would be stupid enough not to see you before they go to sleep." 

Jessica was lost in her. It felt standing in the middle of the field, not knowing where to go, but knowing it's completely... peaceful. She didn't want to be found ever again. "Why do you say and do such things, Yuri?" 

Yuri knew what she was talking about. "You asked me before how a woman loves." She took both of Jessica's hands and held it tightly. "A woman loves by her hands, touching the skin of her lover, sending comfort through the body." Yuri led her hands to her face, letting them cup it. She closed her eyes when Jessica brought her thumbs over her eyelids. She spoke again. "A woman loves by her eyes, sending love without even touching." Jessica's hands were now on Yuri's lips. "A woman loves by her lips, saying the words from the heart, and kissing the innermost depths of her lover." Lastly, her hands were on Yuri's chest. "A woman loves by this heart. Surrendering it to the one she loves." 

"I love you, Sica." Yuri said in a hushed whisper. Jessica felt tighten with a sob, and the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She hated it. Hated how Yuri could love her. Hated how she would reject the feelings she could possibly have for Yuri. This would destroy them both. "You don't have to say it back. This, this is enough."

Didn't Yuri understand she was slowly killing her?