Title: You mustn't be afraid to reach out

Pairing: 2jae

Genres: Supernatural, romance, angst, drama, Nastume Yuujinchou!au, slight fluff, slight fantasy & oneshot.

Words: 32,544 words 

Summary: Im Jaebum can see other things that other people can't. Choi Youngjae being one of them (not that he knows of it anyways). 

A/N: I orginally had written an epilogue for this oneshot, but it escalated pretty quickly & I didn't like how it had turned out. But if you guys wanna read the epilogue, comment below & I'll add it later like a Special Chapter. Also, inspired by the series Natsume Yuujinchou (manga/anime). Give it a try if you ever feel bored c;

[UPDATE: 2/5/16] I added some parts! Please comment below your thoughts about the new parts & whether they start to add up or not. I mainly added them since I thought it was pretty high paced & sudden the development, but I guess it was because I was in a rush when I first wrote this. Should I add more parts or leave it as it is? Thanks in advance! :)   

For as long as he could remember, Im Jaebum has always been able to see things other people can’t. It didn’t take long for him to figure out; all he needed to do was point out that a person was hanging off from the third floor only to be called a liar.

It hurt when he was younger, being secluded by everyone because he was a so-called-liar, but as he grew up, he didn’t mind as much. While it’s partly true some of the things he saw he wished he hadn’t seen them, he never felt alone. Everywhere he went, he saw one. It filled him with a strange sense of companionship that he hadn’t felt for a long time. His parents weren’t helping either in that sense; being disturbed by the fact he can see things other people can’t. The only reason why they continued to care of him was out of pity. Jaebum was well aware of it. That’s why he promised himself to move out as soon as possible when he turns eighteen.

He doesn’t turn eighteen until next year and he can’t help but to wish for time to go by faster.

It’s a shame, he thinks, because if he could leave, he would be lifting up a burden from his parent’s shoulders. They wouldn’t have to see his face again unless they decide that they do love him and beg for him to come back. Hah. As if that would ever happen.

Although Jaebum can see them, he doesn’t approach them. He’s discovered through out the years that he looks like some lunatic talking to the air so he’s careful whenever he strikes up a conversation. Some of the things he can see are actually pleasant to talk to, much better than humans anyways, while others are just trouble. He tries to avoid those the most, and it’s fairly easy to do when he doesn’t make eye contact with them. It may have happened once or twice already when he accidentally made eye contact with one of them, and Jaebum remembers running frantically for his life because it wouldn’t stop chasing him. The only reason why it ever stopped was because he had stepped into holy grounds and the thing evaporated completely at the touch. Since then, whenever it happens, he makes sure to run to the same place over and over again because if not, he’s screwed.

Despite those things that are sometimes out to get him and the ty family he has, he really doesn’t mind his current life. It’s definitely not so terrible when he sneaks out of his house at night and goes to the hill so he can stargaze. Or when he stays out all night just to see the sunrise; the smudges of lilac and purple slowly turning into blue, the ball of heat rising higher and higher each time. Especially when he can feel the breeze and listen to the trees move silently as the birds start to sing, indicating that it was morning. He really doesn’t mind if he gets to see that scenery for the rest of his life. It’s the little things in life that makes everything worth it, or so he likes to think.

It was just like any other day when he sneaks out from his house. After he had enough of his parents constant complains of having to deal with him, he goes up to his room. He looks at his school bag and then at the window, contemplating whether he should go out and stargaze again. The decision isn’t hard to make.

Jaebum grabs his school bag and empties it, all of his notebooks and pencils falling onto his bed. He opens his closet and grabs a set of clothing so he could change into after he takes a bath at the public bath. He doesn’t have a hard time choosing what he’ll wear since no one will see him. He opted with a simple hoddie and jean combination with the shoes he’s wearing at the moment. His wallet is already in one of his pockets. He looked around his room to see if something else is missing, and eyes the necklace with a cross he had on his desk. It was useful at times when he encountered one of those things during one of his many escapades so he decides to wear it just in case. Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to meet one.

His parents are fighting downstairs; he can hear bits of the conversation from where he was. It makes him want to leave faster (and never return back) so he decides to not waste time anymore. Jaebum opens the window and skillfully jumps onto the ranch from the tree his parents had once planted when he was younger. It had grown fantastically over the years, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him remember the good old days, back to when his parents weren’t like now. That’s partly why he never hangs out around his house anymore; too many depressing memories. Before he climbed down the tree, he managed to close the window and continued heading toward the public bath. Luckily the public bath is open 24/7 so he pays for the bath, and bathes in peace and quiet since there were hardly any customers around that time.

He finally heads to the forest. It’s a long walk to the hill but he doesn’t mind it. The exercise feels good for his legs and the darkness feels like a blanket all around him. It’s quiet, but it doesn’t unnerve him. His thoughts feel lighter and less of a burden, the complete opposite of during the day. It’s usually all jumbled up together; a big fat thread of thoughts that make no sense once it escapes his lips. He’s not completely alone either. On his way to the forest, he made eye contact with several of them and smiled politely at them. Most of them bother to smile back, and Jaebum is reminded for the one hundredth time that year why he likes them better than humans. Even though their appearance might not be the prettiest, at least they have manners.

Every time he walks into the forest, he feels smaller each time. It’s as if the trees continue growing each time he passes by again, reminding him that change is constant because the forest is never the same. Maybe to a passerby that walks through it by chance, it might seem like a normal forest they may have been to previously before, but Jaebum knows better than that. This forest in particular is alive. Its paths are never the same, changing subtly and constantly like a maze, even though the end is still the same.

It reminds him of the first few times he got lost in the forest because of it. The only reason why he managed to make it out of the forest was because a couple of those things helped him out and led him the way out. After that, Jaebum decided to mark some of the trees to let him know where he is and although it was hard, he found the hill and claimed it as his stargazing spot since then.

It’s a challenge getting to his spot, especially when it’s at night, but he eventually arrives there. He was about to make himself at home, lie down and spread out his legs like it was nobody’s business, when something stopped him. There was someone in his spot.

Jaebum couldn’t see the person’s face because their back was facing him, a crooked silhouette as they looked at the scenery before them. It’s the first time he’s seen someone else besides him in the forest at that hour so he’s not sure as to what he’s supposed to do. Should he kick him out? Well, no, he couldn’t because the forest wasn’t his property to begin with. Should he return back home? So he could have another earful of his parents shouting at each other? Yeah, no thanks. Should he act normal and sit next to them? That seems like the most acceptable thing to do at the moment, he decides, and immediately sits next to the person.

At the corner of his eye, he notices the person jumping in surprise because of his arrival. He suppresses a chuckle and places his school bag on the ground, more or less where his head would be lying down. Jaebum puffs it up, knowing it won’t do much of a difference, but does it anyway. He lies down and sighs contentedly once he finally sees the starry sky he longed to see since the day before.

He didn’t know if it was possible, but it was more breathtaking than usual; the clouds were silhouettes as they faced him, the light from the full moon illuminating corners and all around it, slowly turning into pitch black except for the occasional stars that light up. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he said, a smile effortlessly making its way on his face. Might as well make conversation, right?

The stranger didn’t look at him but instead, looked up at the sky. “It really is,” they admitted breathlessly, making him grin wider.

“Is this the first time you stargaze like this?” Jaebum asked, looking at the person’s side profile. From where he was, he could tell it was a male but he still couldn’t make out his face features yet.

He shook his head as he finally broke away from the starry sky and looked at him, making Jaebum in a breath. Boy, was the stranger celestial in the moonlight. He had feline like eyes that mirrored his own, almost black because of the darkness, and his lips were pursued shyly as if unsure whether to speak to him or not. His hair was a mess because of the wind, but he didn’t mind it. The look suited him somehow. He shook his head as he broke away eye contact to look at the scenery before him, “I’ve stargazed before.” He paused, thinking out his words carefully. “It’s just the first time I’ve done it with someone else.”

“Me too,” Jaebum admitted after several heartbeats. “I usually do it alone. I was surprised when I found someone here.”

“Oh…” The stranger paused again and added as an after thought, “Should I leave then?”

Jaebum got up as he now faced the stranger, both of their backs hunched slightly. There was something about the male that made him feel like he could be himself around him. It had never happened with a human before, all of them eventually secluding him because of his ability. To say it was nice speaking like this casually with him would be a huge understatement. He had gotten so used to the loneliness he deemed that was normal for him to feel, that it made him giddy all over his body. For once, he could finally have the friend he secretly wished he had… “I actually don’t mind. It’s nice doing it with someone.” He offered a shy smile as he rubbed his neck.

And Jaebum decided that having the stranger stay with him was the best decision he made once he saw him smile for the first time. “I’m Choi Youngjae. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Im Jaebum. The pleasure is all mine.”

╡╞╡╞╡╞

Ever since that fateful encounter, Jaebum has managed to sneak out his house almost every night when he gets the chance. There are days when he stays at his house just so his parents won’t to him about it, because apparently even after everything, they “worry” about him. It’s already happened once when he had snuck out of his house for week in a row when his parents called him out on it. Since then, he leaves the house as often as he could because he really can’t wait to see his friend, Choi Youngjae.

He’s not sure as to why Choi Youngjae decided to appear during this phase of his life and not earlier on when he truly needed someone, but he decides it doesn’t matter because the latter is absolutely breathtaking.

Choi Youngjae was always there before him and he never looked at the sky until they were together. It strikes him as odd because he’s already told him he could start without him, but the latter claims he wants to see it together. He won’t lie. Whenever his friend repeats it, it secretly makes the butterflies go crazy inside his tummy. He always smiles when they’re talking. There are times when it’s just a smile, and then there are other times when it’s not just a smile. His eyes turn into two bent curves, looking very much like two moon crescents, his actual smile reaching up practically all the way to his ears. At times it’s a little distracting and makes him want to wipe it off with a kiss, but he always holds himself back because normal friends don’t do that. His laughter is his new favorite melody now.

There are other times when Jaebum thinks of his friend as strange. For example, there are times when he’s talking about himself, that he notices Choi Youngjae looks thoughtful, like he had undergone already a hundred years. He never shares what he’s thinking about and just smiles it off, successfully distracting him from asking further. The latter is also the last one to leave, reasoning that he wants to stay longer with the stars and that he lived close by. He’s never questioned it so far, but it makes him wonder as to whether he’s a college student or not.

Choi Youngjae couldn’t possibly be a high school student because his school is the only high school around the town. He (unfortunately) knows everyone that attends his school since they were little kids, and if there was a new transfer student then they would immediately know about it. It was a small town after all.

Which brings him to his next point; he’s always wearing the same clothing. Jaebum has three theories regarding that; a) he has more than one pair of the same clothing, b) he washes it regularly and has a long water bill, or c) he doesn’t change out of his clothing. It must stink if it’s letter c but to his surprise, Choi Youngjae never stinks and smells like roses instead. So, really, it’s either one of the letters he stated (a or b because c is automatically discarded) or he’s thinking too much about it.

It’s one of those nights where he wants to see him but he can’t because of his parents. They managed to make him stay inside their house, by saying he needed to keep an eye on it while they went out on a date. It was a dirty trick they used but it did the trick. No matter how much he wanted to leave the house, he wouldn’t let anyone sneak in and try to steal something. Not under his watch.

For once, it’s quiet inside his house. His parents aren’t screaming their lungs out at each other for the night so he could relax a little in his room. His room isn’t the biggest room there is, but it’s comfortable enough for one person with very little belongings like him. It only consisted of a bed that he hardly used now, a desk with his school notebooks scattered around as if he had been studying and a big closet for his clothing.

The only thing in his room that he had bought on his own with his own money (that he earned from working part time) was a starry night lamp. It wasn’t as beautiful as the real stars were, but when he had to stay in at home, it was more than enough. Jaebum had the lights off so he could turn it on, immediately grinning when he saw how bright his room was with stars. He grabbed the sheets of his bed and covered himself up like a worm as he sat down on the floor, snuggling closer for warmth.

He was about to stare at the stars until he got sleepy when he heard knocking sounds coming from his window. Jaebum felt himself tense, remembering every horror movie he’s seen in all of his seventeen years of life, and grabbed his cross. He turned around hesitantly, ready to defend himself when he saw the familiar face of Choi Youngjae. The latter smiled as he waved at him, pointing to the window so he could open it. He immediately opened it, feeling the night breeze rush in through the window and it never felt nicer than at that moment. His friend was sustaining himself from the ranch and from the window, his hands gripping tightly one of the walls. “Why are you here?” Jaebum asked as he tilted his head, keeping his cool. In reality, he was all over the place.

The latter shrugged, his smile crooked as his eyes looked at something else that wasn’t his face. “I just felt like seeing you today.”

“You wanted to see me so much that you even asked around for my house?” he teased, a tiny smirk gracing his lips. “Because as far I’m concerned, I never told you where I lived.”

This time Choi Youngjae blushed crimson, and Jaebum decided that he liked that shade on his friend. “Got a problem with that?” he asked instead, admitting to what he had said.

He gave him his right hand, “Not at all. Feel free to visit me anytime.”

His friend slowly let go of the wall and gave him his hand. He tried to ignore how cold his hand was in reality, but maybe it was like that because Choi Youngjae was outside for a long time. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he quickly pulled him inside his house and closed the window. Jaebum heard a silent gasp and he turned around to see the latter looking at his lamp in awe. There was something so childlike in the action that he couldn’t help but chuckle, causing him to look at him. “First time seeing one?”

Choi Youngjae nodded as he continued inspecting the beautiful lamp, “Yes. Where did you find this?”

“At one of the shops in town. I saw it one day and I knew I needed it.” Jaebum narrates with a fond smile on his face, sitting down next to the male. “Luckily, it wasn’t so expensive and I could buy it with the money I earned from my part time job.”

The latter nodded again, letting him know he was listening.

“I use it whenever I can’t go to the hill… like today.” He explained. “It helps me fall asleep easier.”

He finally looked up to meet his eyes, a worried look on his face. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah, well, when you get used to sleeping outside your house, it’s hard falling asleep inside it.” Jaebum explain with a casual shrug despite the somber look on his face now. He looks away from his eyes and looks at the starry night sky inside his room, a sigh leaving his lips.

There was silence for a moment, both males taking in the scenery before them, before Choi Youngjae sits closer to him. Jaebum is surprised but can’t find any words to speak with, having momentarily forgotten all of his vocabulary. Slowly but somewhat steadily, his heart starts to fasten its pace, keeping up a rhythm as it skipped beats.

From the corner of his eyes, he sees his friend contemplating over something and he desperately wishes for him to hurry up and make a decision before he leads him on. In the end, the latter leans his head hesitantly on his shoulder, their fingers accidentally brushing each other’s. Jaebum’s body stiffened at the contact of another human being and he was so sure Choi Youngjae felt it, but the latter continues on as nothing just happened. He starts humming a song and he felt himself slowly relaxing with him there, forgetting about what they were just talking about.

They stayed in that position for a while; sometimes shifting so they’d be more comfortable with it. Neither of the males spoke, not wanting to ruin the silence. His eyes eventually started to feel heavier as time passed and before he knew it, his parents were already home.

That instantly woke him up, and he looked at his friend, panic all over his face. He wasn’t sure as to how he was supposed to explain to his parents that he had a friend over while they were gone. Jaebum heard the footsteps closer each time, and he pulled Choi Youngjae up. He needed to hide him from his parents. The latter stared at him confused before a look of panic crossed his face. He was glad he finally got the message, but it was too late when his mother opened the door. “We’re home.” She said normally, looking at his way.

She looked around his bedroom and shook her head in distaste, “You really need to stop using that thing. It’s for children.”

Did she not see Choi Youngjae? He wanted to ask her whether she was ignoring his friend on purpose or not when she closed the door on him. Jaebum frowned as he slowly looked at his friend, a look of confusion mirroring his face minutes ago. The latter simply smiled, looking suspiciously nervous before he planted a kiss on his cheek, “I need to go now. Bye!” Then he disappeared.

What just happened?

╡╞╡╞╡╞

Yesterday’s events were still fresh on his mind as he walked around the forest. Maybe he just imagined it and his mother did it out just to annoy him, but it struck him as stranger. His mother was never one to be so rude to house guests (if they had any), and when she was rude, it was usually with reason. That was probably her only valuable trait, depending on how you look at it; she firmly stands her ground. Jaebum guesses that’s where he got his stubbornness from.

As he reached the meeting point, he saw Choi Youngjae’s silhouette already. Normally, a smile would’ve been plastered on his face just by knowing it was him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday. “Hey, Youngjae!” he called out, his voice echoing throughout the whole forest, and surprising the latter once more. He always liked scaring him for fun because Choi Youngjae always got mad at him for him (and he looked too adorable to be frightening).

“Jesus!” Choi Youngjae exclaimed, his hand over his own heart as he sent him a glare, “How many times do I have to tell you to stop that?”

Jaebum shrugged as he sat down next to him, “Sorry.” He apologized, not really meaning it. “I, uh, wanted to ask you something…”

A long silence dragged between both males. “Yesterday, when my mother entered my room…” He paused, thinking how to say it without sounding stupid. “Did she, uh…”

“Not see me?” Choi Youngjae finished for him, his voice quiet as he turned around to look at him. For a moment, Jaebum felt his heart stop.

“You’re probably imagining things.” He smiled easily at him, as he stopped looking at him, “Why wouldn’t she be able to see me?”

Another silence dragged between them until he laughs nervously, his face heating up at the random suggestion, “Yeah, you're right! Why wouldn’t she be able to see you?”

Choi Youngjae kept quiet for the rest of the night.

╡╞╡╞╡╞

The next strange thing that happened was when Jaebum was out around the town with Choi Youngjae. They weren’t as talkative as they usually were when they were hidden from the public’s eye, but he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. It was a comfortable silence, and he thinks that he hasn’t ever been like this with someone else. It’s never been a comfortable silence. People were too weirded out by his so-called-lies that they haven’t given him a chance to prove them wrong, that he was a perfectly normal kid like everyone else. He thinks back to all the other times he’s felt alone and it still pains him to think about it, but it’s not as bad as when he has Choi Youngjae with him. Everything was different with him.

He’s been feeling something for a while, something big and warm for his friend. He’s well aware of it especially when they held hands like this as they walked around the town because the feeling it brought with it was never a normal one. It felt like the beginning of a grand story waiting to be told, an excitement and thrill unlike anything else he’s experienced before, and he’s never felt so vulnerable than he was with him. Everything’s a first for him and it’s only understandable for him to feel overwhelmed by the weight of his feelings. Choi Youngjae didn’t seem to mind taking one step at a time, something Jaebum was grateful for, as he pointed to a shop he hasn’t seen before. It feels like a dream; he’s awake as he walks around, but he’s not really awake at the same time. He’s bound to crash into a wall eventually.

There are more stares on him than normal. Jaebum tries to ignore the feeling by telling himself that it was just his imagination and nothing more, but it doesn’t go away. He looks around his surroundings, playing it off as he’s looking for somewhere they could go, and he’s right. They’re staring at them, a torn expression of concern and horror on their faces, and it’s so similar to all the previous times before; back to when everything was black and white, and there wasn’t a Choi Youngjae involved in his life. It didn’t bother him much as he grew up. At least, that’s what he believed after telling himself that it didn’t matter, that he shouldn’t concern himself with other’s people’s views on him, that he wasn’t in the wrong, that it was their fault for not believing him even though he was telling the truth, it was them, them, them and not him. It was always their fault and not his.

There wasn’t one in sight, so why were they staring at him like he was some freak show on display? It unnerved him, feelings he had thought he kept in the dark were starting to resurface now, and no, not now feelings. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something here with Choi Youngjae? Yeah, thanks.

Instead of leaving town like how they should’ve done, Jaebum is reluctant to leave despite everything and takes the latter to his favorite shop. It distracts him from the emotional stress he’s suddenly going through, and he watches over Choi Youngjae fondly as the latter looks at some books. The owner of the shop carefully nears him and with a curious look on their face, “What are you looking at?”

Perhaps, did he not see Choi Youngjae enter the shop with him? “I’m with my friend,” Jaebum said as he pointed toward the latter’s direction.

The color of their face drained. “What friend? I don’t see anyone there.”

Everything’s strange, from the stares to this, but Jaebum’s persistent about it. He insists that he entered the shop with his friend, Choi Youngjae, the boy carrying the universe in his eyes and the boy with a mysterious smile, the boy that made him feel normal and special at the same time. That boy. But the owner is persistent as well, saying that no matter how hard they look, there isn’t anyone there. Their conversation died when he saw that Choi Youngjae finished looking over everything, and he left the shop feeling unsettled.

It was also silent on their way back to the forest. It was probably for the best.   

╡╞╡╞╡╞

The thing that sealed the deal happened a couple of days later when he returned home to look for his bag. He already had it done before he left the house to attend school, and all he had to do was grab it. After that, he was planning on doing leaving the house for the night… again.

Surprisingly, his parents were quiet for once. His parents weren’t fighting nor were they exchanging saliva like desperate teenagers, but instead, they were enjoying each other’s presence in the kitchen room. His mother was cooking for once, which was a rare sight ever since she changed jobs, and his father was helping her with the dishes. It was almost picture perfect, the way they didn’t need words to know what the other needed and what needed to be done. His father smiled at him, friendly and inviting, when he noticed his presence, “You’re back already?”

Jaebum gulped uncomfortably as he nodded stiffly. Something was off; his parents were never like this around him. They were never this warm with him for reasons previously stated unless something happened that involved him and his “lies”. He knew they were going to start a heated up discussion about it; that’s why he stayed rooted to where he was instead of sitting around the kitchen table. His father didn’t say anything as his gaze lingered for a moment before continuing with his task.

They were quietly cooking when his mother said, “I heard a funny rumor from the neighboring ladies.”

Here it comes.

“What kind of rumor?” He replied quickly as his hands began to sweat a little. He wiped the sweat off of his hands on his jeans, “Apparently, you were in town the other days with someone.”

An image of Choi Youngjae popped up on his mind and he frowned, feeling confused. He thought this would be about one of his “lies”, about them. If anything, he thought his parents, his mother in particular, would’ve been a little more ecstatic that he was doing something normal for once. This was new. “Yeah, and?”

She sighed frustrated as she stopped her cooking and turned to look at him, “But there was no one.”

“What?”

“You were literally holding hands with the air!” she spat disgustedly, unaware of how his heart stopped beating for a moment. He muted everything else she said and distractedly walked up stairs, feeling disoriented and dizzy. Everything felt too surreal to be true; almost like he was in one of those reality shows and he was caught on a prank camera. Everyone around had been aware of the prank except for him because it wouldn’t have been fun if he had known about it. The audience laughed and applauded at him while he made a fool out of himself in front of a crowd. When he found out about it, near the end, it only added more to the funny appeal until he’s forced to deal with it somehow.

Jaebum supposes that if he had been dreaming before, awake but not really, then he’s wide awake now. His face had tragically met the wall that stood between him and his fantasy world; that wall was reality. It was an endless wall, not to mention, as if it was emphasizing the fact that it will never happen and that he’ll have to deal with it on his own somehow. As the saying goes, reality’s a and he couldn’t have agree more at the moment.

He didn’t want to think back to all those other times where he had been suspicious and gave a blind eye because of how freaking happy he was. He had been overjoyed that someone like him could have met someone like Choi Youngjae, who had been suspiciously perfect from the very start. He had been so stupid all this time, so convinced that, that, he, it, whatever it was, was a person like he was and not one of them. He would’ve been okay with the fact that everyone around him was conspiring against him and that they just wanted to joke around a little. It would’ve been a really bad joke, but he prefers bad jokes any day to one big, fat lie.

After looking at his bag one more time, he decided that he wasn’t going to visit him (or was he an it?) tonight. He had too many thoughts, too many unsaid words that if he were to say them now, he would only hurt the other. He needed to calm down and make sure that everything he’s found out is true or false.

He’s hoping for the latter.

╡╞╡╞╡╞

The more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed to him. Choi Youngjae was his friend. That bit was true, but what about the rest?

Was he, perhaps... not human?

No, that can’t be. The very thought of the latter not being human seemed so ridiculous to him. He would’ve immediately known if it wasn’t human because they carry different auras to them than to humans. The difference was noticeable. Humans have a huge aura to them that brings in other inhuman beings towards them, while those things don’t have much of an aura.

It’s very faint the ones they do have; that’s why they’re attracted to humans most of the time, because by eating one, they’re aura grows stronger… or at least, that’s what it said in a book he read once when he was in middle school and was curious as to the things he saw on regular basis. It was quite an interesting book, if he had to be honest, that he even borrowed it from the local library for a whole week. He was starting to consider having to borrow it again just to be sure…

The next day after the incident, he went straight to the library after school so he could borrow it again. Everything in the town was fairly close to each other that he reached the library in less than ten minutes. Jaebum opens the door and immediately feels the cool air conditioner surrounding him, taking in the sight of the countless bookshelves stacked with many books.

He passes by a couple of students like him that were doing their homework, and makes sure not to miss the glares they sent him. He ignores it, and his feet continue dragging him to the familiar section, having stopped by and looked over a couple of books before, his fingers hovering ghostly over a couple of them. His face scrunches up as he reads the titles before it brightens up again once he found the one. Jaebum takes it out carefully and opens it. He passes through the pages, scanning over them briefly, trying to see if he can find what he had in mind. He stands there for a moment, passing pages before he finally stops.

Jaebum quickly starts reading sentences after sentences, his eyes darting back and forward. His expression gradually begins to change as he continues reading, his eyes wide in surprise and shock. He closes the book immediately and puts it where it was previously, his lips nervously as he recalls what he just read. He shakes his head, successfully snapping out of his thoughts and starts to leave. As he passes the familiar surroundings, he notices the students weren’t there anymore. The library was empty, not a soul in sight except for him and the librarian. He fastens his pace and leaves through the doors, unaware of where his feet were taking him.

To his surprise, he was at his house. Then again, a thought about needing a new pair of clothes crosses through his mind and he enters his house without thinking twice about it.

From the entrance of the house, he could hear his mother laughing at the television while his father talked on the phone. Jaebum didn’t bother greeting them and neither did them.

He walks up the stairs, taking a quick right turn and opens his door. Just like he had done all of the previous times, he empties out his school bag on his desk, trying to make it look like he had studied, and searches for comfortable clothes. He picks out a giant sweater he had with some black skinny jeans, and folds it inside of his school bag. He also decides to wear a beanie for a change and packs his wallet. Before going to the hill, he was going to stop by the public bath again. Jaebum was well aware that he was only stalling time from arriving at the hill, but he couldn’t help it. He doubles checks around his room to see if he had left anything, and leaves when he saw he had packed everything he needed.

There was a brief moment of silence as he headed downstairs again before his mother called him, “Sweetie? Are you leaving again?”

It made him sick that she even dared calling him that. He retraced back some of his steps so they were looking at each other. His mother was sitting at the couch, the television muted and apparently, so was his father. “Yeah, I’ll probably be late again.” Jaebum said indifferently with a slight shrug.

“Look… I know we haven’t been the greatest parents…” she started and he immediately wanted this conversation to be over already. “But it’s making me worried about your frequent habits.”

He breathed in and out steadily, trying to calm himself down already. His mother knew how to press his buttons without even trying. “I thought you didn’t care?”

The woman looked scandalized at the suggestion. “Why wouldn’t I care? I’m your mother!”

If you really cared about me, then you would’ve said something from the start and tried stopping me. Instead, he said, “Yeah, you're right. Why wouldn’t you care? Why did I even suggest something like that?” he laughed bitterly before he turned away from her.

“Where do you think you're going, mister?” She got up from the couch and started tapping her feet.

“None of your business.” Jaebum replied without looking at her and slammed the door on her face. He didn’t expect her to come running after him, fuming about his rude and rebellious behavior, and trying to make him come back. Just like he had predicted, there wasn’t any sounds of a door slamming again, of footsteps behind him, of shouts calling after him… she had met his expectations. He lets out a laugh; his mother just proved his point without realizing it.

At the public bath, he’s not alone this time. There are older men taking a bath as he was, conversing with each other about everything but. Despite the lack of privacy, his body relaxes once it feels the lukewarm water against his skin. At any other moments, he might’ve found it perhaps a little disgusting, considering there were a bunch of older men in the bath too, but he could care less at the moment.

Jaebum breathes in and out, his thoughts slowly becoming clearer and less of a mess as he lets out a sigh. He stays in the bath for a while until a couple of older men call him up on it and tell him to be careful. He steps out of the bath and washes his head quickly before he dries himself up. He takes his time dressing up, not feeling ready to face his friend yet. After he pays for the public bath at the counter, he starts heading to the forest.

The forest’s path to the hill was cleared. Jaebum is shocked as he looks at the forest and feels a little more vulnerable than he was a second ago. He’s exposed to everyone now and he doesn’t like it one bit. He sprints toward his tiny haven, desperately hoping his friend would be there despite the hurricane of thoughts he feels inside of him. His heart rams against his chest like it wanted to burst out open, to free itself of its imposed prison, and it’s so annoyingly loud to his ears.

Jaebum shuts his eyes closed as he continued running straight ahead, knowing that he wouldn’t bump into anything anymore. The wind feels nice against his skin, but he doesn’t take time to appreciate it as he normally would’ve done. He slowly stops running, his breathing shallow and uneven, as he witnesses the familiar scenery before him in daylight. It’s still beautiful, but there’s still something charming and mysterious to the scenery when it’s at night.

He puts down his school bag on the ground, and swallows the uncomfortable lump on his throat. The words are hard to pronounce, but he’s proud of himself that he’s able to get some out. “Choi Youngjae, come out! I know you're there!” Jaebum shouts angrily at the scenery before him, his body shaking violently.

It’s subtle, but he can feel the soft breeze behind him, and he doesn’t need to look to know who it was. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner…?” Hot, fresh tears fell from his face as he turned around to face the one that was responsible for the hurricane inside of him.

“What do you mean?” Choi Youngjae asked softly, his own eyes starting to tear up too.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you were a…” Jaebum paused, chocking out the next words in a silent sob, “A yokai?”

There was a tense silence between both males as they stared at each other, pained looks mirroring each other’s. “I, I’m sorry, I was planning on telling you, but it’s been so long since I last talked to someone…” Choi Youngjae’s voice trailed off. Earnest.

“Youngjae, I… I love you.” Jaebum confessed, catching the latter off guard, “But you’re… you’re a yokai. I, we, whatever we might’ve had can’t be. It’s not right.”

“We can try.”

“It’s still not right.” He immediately refuted back.

“Then what do you expect me to do?!” Choi Youngjae exploded, his face red with emotion as tears ran down his face. They were both engulfed in another tense silence, letting the words sink in properly. Jaebum was partly surprised because he had never seen the latter explode at him like that. It was most certainly a first and he hated himself for being the cause of it. “I… I don’t know.” Jaebum's hands were on his face now, “I just want to be with you.”

“Then be with me.” Choi Youngjae took a hold of his hands, doing the exact opposite of warming up his hands. His body temperature was freezing, reminding him of the harsh reality. They looked into each other’s eyes before one of them, Jaebum wasn’t sure who it was, closed the distance between them for a brief moment. He closed his eyes and kissed back slowly, his hands on Choi Youngjae’s face as he tried bringing their bodies closer. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wanted to warm him up with his own body heat. The kiss, however, was cut short by Choi Youngjae, who looked dazed just as he felt, his hands on his chest. “Be with me… until the end of time. Until time does us apart.”

Jaebum nods, bringing his face closer to kiss him again. “I love you.”

His answer was muffled by the kiss. 

The end.

A/N: Another oneshot tomorrow! Here's a hint for tomorrow's oneshot: I tend to write about them. I pretty much gave it away lmao. Anyways, I hope you like this? Was it better than the rest?

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