A/N: No, you are not hallucinating. Here's an update after four months of procrastination.

I've recently cleared up the jumbled mess of ideas in my head and thrashed out a coherent storyline so you can bet there'll be more frequent updates coming your way in the future ~ ^^ 

In the meantime, have some YugSon and enjoy!

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Album preparations always slow time down into sluggish lapses of countless hours of stage rehearsals and invisible countdown timers flashing huge red numbers in their heads for everyone. Safe for the occasional schedule or MCing gig for some of them, the days drift by with them almost always found in the basement studio working on their choreography or adding the final touches to their new songs. There wouldn’t be a music video for their full-length Japanese album, because they’d been too busy in December to film one, and the lack thereof puts a further damper to their already low spirits – Music video filming may be strenuous but at least it provides a much-needed change of pace and surroundings and short two-day escapade from the repetitive practice cycles.

In this lull Jackson finds himself observing his surroundings more, from his own corner in the dance studio, sprawled on the floor and chest heaving in between bouts of intense dance practice, too exhausted to even crack a joke anymore. He trains his wide, doe eyes across the small space, taking in Young Jae curled up next to the rotating fan, Jae Bum nursing his ankle with an ice pack by the door with Mark hovering over him worriedly, Jin Young meticulously correcting Bam Bam’s moves in a corner, before landing on Yugyeom quietly working through the steps he’d choreographed.

Yugyeom, feeling eyes on him, looks up and their eyes meet through the mirror. The Alpha flashes a small ambiguous smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, before going back to where he was intently staring at the movement of his feet as though the entire exchange never happened.

And if there’s one thing Jackson hates, it’s not knowing where he stands. He sees the world in black and white and not shades – no matter how many – of grey. Equivocation meant the possibility of being hurt when delving into the bottomless abyss of unknowingness. Dealing with ambiguity was never his forte, and lately Kim Yugyeom’s been sending him a whole lot of mixed signals that he can’t decipher.

As much as the others try to deny – or ignore – it, the atmosphere has been awkward ever since the two of them went on a date. It wasn’t as though the date hadn’t well, mind you, even if it hadn’t been fancy – just the typical dinner and movie date that ended with a stroll along Han River, and Yugyeom had been nothing short of gentlemanly and Jackson had an enjoyable time simply basking in the Alpha’s strong, unwavering presence – it’s just that… It’s been almost a month since then and there hasn’t been any progress; no more dates, no increase in physical closeness, not even time spent alone with each other. If anything, the blonde is starting to think that the younger is avoiding him now.

He often sees Yugyeom hesitantly hovering around over his shoulder. When they talk, there’s a look in the younger’s eyes that scream I have something I’m dying to talk to you about – which is kind of ironic because they are talking normally, conversing on mundane topics like the how annoyingly erratic the weather was being or what to have for lunch today – but he never has enough courage to actually break the ice, so the Omega decides to take the plunge and get the ball rolling.

It’s always an intimidating gesture to confront an Alpha, for whatever reason. It goes against every single one of his Omega instincts and despite his natural extroversion, Jackson finds himself trembling a little when he eventually corners – okay, not really corner seeing as the maknae is completely oblivious and doesn’t even realise he’s being targeted – Yugyeom backstage mere minutes before the start of their second anniversary fan meeting.

“Hi,” Jackson says, nonchalantly sidling up to the younger. “Nervous?”

“Hey. Not really.” Yugyeom replies, distractedly fiddling with his audio transmitter packs. “You?”

“Just a little edgy. I can’t wait to meet the fans.” The blonde answers and immediately helps the Alpha hook the mic packs to the waistband of his trousers, running his fingers over the translucent tape across Yugyeom’s in-ear and pressing it down a couple of times for good measure. He leaves the younger to adjust his headset himself and lets his eyes roam, from top to bottom and thinks navy blue is a good colour on the other. They’re decked in pilot-themed outfits for the fanmeeting, all of them, but somehow the way the tailored blazer perfectly complements the youngest member’s tall, broad stature makes him stand out more than the rest.

“You know… We should go on a date.” Jackson comments offhandedly as he smoothens out invisible creases on the younger’s blazer.

“A… date?” Yugyeom echoes. He frowns, whether it’s from annoyance at the tangled wiring behind his neck or the elder’s suggestion, the blonde doesn’t know. “Haven’t we already gone on one?”

“I… I mean, a real one? Not that the previous one doesn’t count, it’s just… It felt more like hanging out than something… serious? Since the company wants us to mate.” Jackson rambles. “I… I mean…” The elder corrects himself hastily, a lot more self-conscious. “We should get to know each other better if we want our Wolves to match, right?”

“Oh.” Yugyeom’s eyes widen. “I never thought of it that way…” The Alpha rubs the side of his neck awkwardly. “So… Uhm… Anywhere in particular that you want to go? An amusement park? The beach?” He rattles off suggestions he has at the back of his head. “Anything you want to do?”

“Uhm… Well…” Jackson stutters. “I actually haven’t really thought about it…” He admits.

“One minute till standby. Jackson, Yugyeom!” They hear their leader call impatiently. “Kids, gather. We need to do our cheer and get into position!”

“Coming!” Yugyeom hollers over the blonde’s shoulder. “Do you want to think about it?” He suggests as they hurry over, “Then when you think of something… Tell me?”

Jackson nods and they split when they reach the rest of the group, each taking their respective place in the circle. He shrugs when Mark casts a concerned look at him and places his hand on top of the pile in the centre.

“Let’s do our best, have fun, and give our fans a night to remember, alright?” Jae Bum encourages, making a point to look each of them in the eye, and they all chime at once, “G-O-T-7, jjai!”

~~~

They skirt around each other like an elegant dance of intertwined limbs and convoluted lives, except they weren’t actually touching but instead cautiously watching each other from across the ballroom behind their elaborate masks, waiting for the other to make the first move. The others watch on like envious spectators of the main spotlighted couple, carefully judging but never interfering.

Like two people who cross paths attempting to step around each other but end up moving in the same direction, it only results in an awkward game of cat and mouse that remains them at square one.

They go on for three weeks like that. They attend their schedules – a series of concert tours in Japan to promote their new album – and smile and laugh as usual onstage, but steer so clearly away from each other they stand on opposite ends and don’t even do as much as glance in the other’s direction. Their only interactions off-camera all but only involve passing the jar of Nutella over the breakfast table when requested and awkwardly jerking their hands away when they accidentally make contact while distributing bottled water and packed meals.

A hawk-eyed MC nearly calls their bluff once, at a live event where Jackson, when the members were shuffling to their respective spots for introduction, makes a detour around the entire group to get to his position in the middle just because Yugyeom was standing in his direct path. The situation had been barely salvaged by Jin Young who quips that Jackson’s recently gained this habit, since he decided to stop wearing insoles, where he doesn’t like approaching people who are taller than him because it dwarfs him in comparison, gaining laughter and approval from the MC and audience.

It is one of the many close calls.

Eventually, Mark decides he’s watched enough of the freak show, clearly headed for disaster, and confronts Jackson in their bedroom one night.

“What’s going on between you and Yugyeom?” the elder demands, arms akimbo, the shadow of his lanky frame looming over the younger who’s sprawled on his mattress. “I thought you said you two were okay?”

Jackson darts his eyes away from his iPad for a millisecond before resuming what he’s watching – a dumb Youtube video of singing cats Nam Joon linked him. “Nothing,” He answers vaguely. From the corner of his eye he can see the elder shift his weight from one leg to the other, gaze boring into his temple but he resolutely keeps his vision glued to the LED screen.

Mark sighs, letting out a long, exasperated breath from his nose. “You literally mean it, don’t you? There literally is nothing between the two of you because you’ve been avoiding each other like the plague.”

Jackson shrugs. “Well, we’re not avoiding each other, per se… We’re just…” Making a conscious effort in keeping a distance from each other so that we won’t be forced to interact.

“Just?” The elder prompts.

“It’s awkward.” The blonde concludes, finally lowering his iPad. “I… kind of told him I didn’t feel like the previous date was a date date and might have suggested going on another one, a proper one this time.”

Mark raises an eyebrow. “So what’s the problem?”

Jackson lets out a long-suffering sigh and finally lowers his iPad. “The problem is I didn’t really mean it! I mean, like, I did mean it when I said we should get to know each other better, but what if he misinterprets my proactiveness and thinks I’m already taking an interest in him? What if he’s only forcing himself to agree to another date?” He wails. “It’ll change our relationship if things don’t work out!”

“Hey, we didn’t work out but we still remained best friends, didn’t we?”

“We’re different.” The blonde sniffs.

“No, we really aren’t,” Mark rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Anyway, whether it’s forced or not, Yugyeom is old enough to know responsibilities and he knows this is his obligation – to at least try to see if things work out. And he won’t shun from that.” He makes his way over and nudges the younger’s leg with his foot. “Scoot over. I wanna sit down.”

“You’re not making me feel better.” Jackson grumbles, folding his legs and tucking his iPad under his pillow in order to make space for the older Alpha. “You’re a terrible best friend.”

“I’m not trying to.” Mark affirms as he takes a seat by the blonde’s feet. “As your best friend I’m obligated – and very righteously so – to show you how big of a jerk you’re being to Yugyeom.”

“Don’t blame this on me;” Jackson argues stubbornly. “Yugyeom did it too.”

“Stop trying to argue for the sake of arguing.” Mark reaches over and smacks the younger on the back of his head. “You look like someone’s stuck a stick up your – yes, your expression really is that unpleasant and that obvious – whenever he’s within your vicinity. Obviously he doesn’t want to intimidate you further by being too forthcoming, especially considering the ball is in your court; you’re just refusing to return it.”

Mark softens when he sees the blonde resembling an oversized puppy being reprimanded, wide, doe eyes and plump, pouty lips. “Perhaps you should try clarifying things with him, you know.” The Alpha suggests. “Show him that you’re not that adverse towards him, just that you have your own insecurities and want to take things at a slower pace. He’ll understand.”

All these Jackson already knows he should be doing but he nods along anyway. Then the one thing that has been niggling at the back of his head comes to mind.

The elder stands to leave when Jackson suddenly lunges over and grabs him by his waist, tugging him backwards. Mark flails about like an air dancer at the gas station when he tumbles onto the mattress in an unsightly manner, barely avoiding hitting the back of his head against the bed frame, as Jackson wraps around him like a Koala bear to a Eucalyptus tree. “Wait.”

“Are you trying to kill me, Jackson Wang,” Mark hisses as he attempts, to no avail, to wriggle out of the Omega’s death grip. “Let go of me, you crazy brute. Are you humping my leg?”

 “That night after my talk with Jae Bum…” Jackson says, cleverly ignoring Mark to tighten the leg curled around the elder’s waist, and the Alpha’s starting to empathise with an anaconda’s prey because he feels like he’s in the same boat now. “Was it you who carried me back into the bedroom?”

The words sink in and Mark suddenly stops struggling, barking out a laugh – just once – a bright, pitchy chortle. “Oh, that. Nope.”

Jackson draws his lower lip between his teeth, a thousand and one questions (and possibilities) running through his mind. His grip on Mark loosens and the elder escapes, standing far away enough to not be caught again. “Then who was it?”

Mark winks exaggeratedly at the younger. “The exact same person you have in mind right now.”

“What– I– I don’t–” Jackson realises his slip-up too late when he sees the Alpha grinning like a hyena. “ you.” He blanches, cheeks rapidly turning red. Mark merely laughs again before leaving the room, loudly calling dibs on the shower.

While Jackson remains on the floor pouting his phone pings with a text message from Mark. The blonde gags, because this can only mean the elder is using his phone in the toilet and that’s just eww. (If only the fans knew of such a side of GOT7’s visual member, they’ll be scrambling to stan the other members in no time.)

00:43 28/11/2015

From: Markiepooh

You know he’s been taking care of you all this time.

Jackson thinks back to before this mess started, how Yugyeom hands over an extra bottle of water and slips him lozenges on days his throat has been acting up, the soft pats of encouragement on his back after a particularly harsh schedule. He remembers how Yugyeom would give in to his food cravings during mealtime without a fight when he was feeling particularly frustrated over not being able to master a martial arts tricking move and wordlessly offer up his permanently second spot in the shower queue even though he smells equally as bad.

So many times Yugyeom had been the one acting like the older brother instead, silently pampering him and taking care of his childish whims, occasions that Jackson dismissed as the younger finally “submitting to his greatness” despite the niggling feeling of knowing full well that beneath the bumbly exterior, the maknae is a lot more mature and selfless than he lets on.

The main reason why he had been hesitating was because, while Jackson has dated younger people in the past, both guys and girls, he’s never had to relinquish control and give them full reign before. He hadn’t presented then and so hadn’t they, and those relationships were more of casual flings, physical investments to pass time and channel hormonal frustration than mating-for-life emotional ones.

As an Omega he’ll always need someone else to take the lead, someone mature enough to guide him and make the logical, rational decisions for him when he gets too emotionally carried away. Mark had always been that figure; the elder had played the role of a quiet, sturdy pillar of support – that his Wolf unfortunately friendzoned and damn, if it hadn’t he wouldn’t be caught in this sticky mess in the first place – for him, and even if Jackson already had an inkling they wouldn’t eventually end up as mates, his mind had already somehow associated his future match to be someone like Mark, someone older.

But Yugyeom had come into the picture and crushed that stereotype, proving that Alphas don’t always have to be older or sombre or mature all the time, that Alphas too can be playful and childish and fun-loving but still step up to the plate and prove their worth when the time calls for it.

Yugyeom had shown that he is more than deserving of as equal a fighting chance as what he’d given Mark; and the blonde will grant it to him.

~~~

Two weeks later, Jackson slips into the tiny storeroom in the back of the waiting room Yugyeom’s disappeared into. “Hey.”

The Alpha freezes for a second when he registers the blonde’s presence but covers up his surprise smoothly to resume his rummaging. “Hey yourself,” Yugyeom greets, cheerful voice betrayed by his stiff demeanour. “What’s up?”

“Just… Looking for you,” The blonde says,  eyes darting around the bare room. “I, I mean, you weren’t in the waiting room with the rest of us,” He hastily adds, already flustered. “What are you looking for?”

“Wallet; I want to get a drink.” Yugyeom answers distractedly, mind occupied with the thought of grabbing a chocolate milkshake from the café he spotted in the lobby of the adjacent building they passed by in the car, as he rummages through his backpack. “Thirsty.”

“Oh.” Jackson fiddles with his fingers. “I’ve… Thought about it.”

“About what,” Yugyeom says as he continues to hunt for his wallet. He’s pretty certain he packed it when he left the hotel this morning, but somehow it disappeared into the bottomless blackhole he calls a backpack as the day progressed. Of all times now, when he’s really dying for that chocolate milkshake, too.

When he finally realises Jackson isn’t replying he stops in his foraging and looks up at the blonde, whom he finds is pinking in the cheeks, scuffing his shoe against the tile with his gaze glued to the floor, and realises how brusque his words must’ve sounded.

His mind quickly backtracks though all the conversations he’s had with the elder and one topic particularly stands out. “Oh, you mean a plan for our date?”

“Yeah…” Jackson begins slowly. “There is a place I wouldn’t mind going…”

“Where is it? It’s not too expensive, is it?”

“Not… Really… It’s just…” Jackson flushes a darker shade, eyes darting up to find the younger looking at him intently before hurriedly glancing away again. He contemplates scraping his entire plan, but Mark’s words from their exchange ring in his head and he takes the leap of faith. “It’s Namyangju,” He blurts. “I mean, you don’t have to, but I would really love to visit your hometown, if it’s possible.”

“Oh.” Yugyeom finds colour filling his own cheeks. He never knew of this soft, sweet side of Jackson. It’s endearing.

He stares for longer than necessary at the beautiful rose blossoming over the elder’s cheeks and how his thick, long eyelashes seem to sweep cheekbones with his timid gaze lowered to the ground before snapping out of his trance with a loud clear of his throat.

“I’ll…. Think about it?” Yugyeom finally says, sounding more like a question rather than a statement. He couldn’t bear to mistakenly bring the elder’s hopes up, as much as he’s dying to present to the blonde the amazing sights and sounds of his hometown. “I mean, I need to see if my mum’s free to have us over and all, but it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. How does next weekend sound?”

Jackson brightens as though he’s just been told that he won the lottery. “Okay!” he beams.

He leaves the tiny space to join the rest lounging in the waiting room, as quietly as he entered, leaving the youngest to continue his desperate search for his money.

Yugyeom doesn’t think too much about the short exchange, but when Jin Young comes in five minutes later and hands him one of the freshly made chocolate milkshakes he’s carrying in his hand, his mind goes back to the blonde whose heart is too big to be contained in his slight frame and he smiles.