"He's out!" I heard his familiar voice shout in excitement, my eyes immediately trailing over to where I knew he was shouting from in a crouching position (not yet wanting to sit back down but not wanting to straighten all the way up) over the sofa.

I had seen this once before. In fact I lived this moment but that was back in some distant memory of a simpler time. When I was happy. When we were together.

"He's safe!" I heard myself yell out, sticking to the script in my memory. I was sitting beside him, my legs straightened out in front of me, taking over the rest of the couch, as I sat with my back against the arm rest writing my English paper, occasionally glancing over to my left to watch the TV.

"He was out!" He argued confidently and I rolled my eyes. 

We were watching the same game, were we not? He was clearly safe.

"He was safe!" 

I remembered this day all too well. It was two days before. The last real moment we shared together before went to hell.

We were watching the Mets versus the Yankees play. He was always more for the Yankees while I was more for the Mets. It was a friendly rivalry between us and the excitement in the house was real whenever the two went head to head in the season. Unfortunately for me I couldn't fully enjoy it since my paper was due in two days. The faster I got it done, the better it was for me to not stress out about it.

"Just give it a rest and wait for the call," My dad spoke up. I turned to look at him. His voice made him sound irritated, but the smile he had on his face proved otherwise. That's how he always was with us. He enjoyed joining the playful banter every once in a while as he sat in his reclining chair off to the side, a newspaper in hand as he glanced over the Current Events section.

With a smile I looked back at the television, watching as the umpire and the field managers reviewed the challenged call that was made when one of the Mets player's went in for home base. The call was 'Safe' but the Yankees field manager swore it was 'Out'. It wasn't.

"Son of a-"

"Called it!" I laughed as they showed an instant replay to prove that the player was in fact safe. "You know, for a baseball player, you at this. Or maybe you're just way too biased for your own good."

"Shut up." He looked over at me with his wide smile, nudging my leg playfully.

I felt my smile slowly fade and it was as if time had stopped. And I shamelessly took a moment to stare at him. Soaking the vision of in him. I kept my eyes on those chocolate brown orbs that seemed so unfamiliar now. Unlike me he hadn't inherited our mother's blue eyes.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I felt my brows furrow. That wasn't part of the script. "Minyoung?" And at the sound of my name coming out of his lips, I swear I could feel my entire body tremble from fear. Slowly, his voice continued to echo in my ear, drowning out all sound.

Minyoung.

Minyoung.

Minyoung!

Until there was silence followed by a single pair of blinding white lights and a shrill that would haunt me until the day I died.

"MINYOUNG!"

Jumping up to sit at an upright position, I woke up in a cold sweat —my heart thumping a mile a minute. My head was pounding and it felt like there was a tight knot constricting my throat.

. I honestly thought I was ing getting over this.

Why now? Why again?

I was doing better.  I really was.

I felt hot tears stream down my face and I begrudgingly looked over at the clock on my nightstand.

It was only 4 in the ing morning.

I sighed and leaned back against my headboard, slowly closing my eyes. Maybe this sounded terrible, but despite hating my dreams, it always felt like it was the only way for me to keep him alive. To make me not forget the little details about him. Guilt held me back from forgetting about him. I owed it to him to remember him. But why was it so hard? Why did it feel like those once beautiful memories were now just painful reminders? I could never just remember him fondly because all those memories served as a mockery that I don't have him in my life anymore. That nothing was what it used to be.

Forgetting him would mean that his life was meaningless. That it was all in vain.

But remembering him would just serve as a reminder of everything I lost.

I got an early start the following Monday. After waking up at 4AM again I decided it was best for me to just get ready. I took some painkillers for my back and got to it. After showering and putting on a robe, I went to my kitchen to cook some breakfast. I didn't want to smell like food, so I opted for my underwear and robe  —deciding that I would get dressed after eating.

My breakfast was pretty light. I had lost most of my appetite so I settled for a plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese. It was yummy and filling, so I was good for the most part. One thing about being on the meds that I was on was that sometimes it completely kills off my hunger. I remember the first time I started taking them I nearly lost 10 pounds in a single month. I'm naturally really little so losing that amount of weight was noticeable and it alarmed my parents when they saw me. I also got scared and told my doctor about it and she explained I should either try taking them early in the morning or later in the evening after having dinner so that it doesn't effect me. It's one of the reasons why I try not to take them too much, or not at all if I can help it. And since I drank them so early, I should be hungry by lunch. Hopefully.

After I was done eating, I headed back to my bedroom where I got dressed in a pair of my favorite black leggings, brown wedged boots that cuffed at the ankle, and a loose blue and white striped top —that cheekily showed a little bit of my midriff. I applied some eyeliner and my favorite dark red lipstain, grabbed my bag, my coat and then headed out the front door of my apartment.

It was a beautiful mid-September morning. Thankfully it wasn't raining like it had been a few days ago so I was enjoying feeling the bright sun against my skin. It was chilly but not too cold. I wasn't really a fan of the cold, which is why I preferred summer in terms of the overall weather and warm sunny temperatures. Autumn was pretty but the cold mixed in with the rain was not fun. Though it was the perfect season to drink some hot chocolate and just lay out to sleep all day. That was one good thing about this time of year. The rain and the cold and the dark coverage of the clouds in the sky set up the perfect conditions for me to get to bed quicker. But right now wasn't the time to think about that.

I wanted to get to class early this time around and show my professor that I'm actually a very responsible and punctual person. That I'm actively known as being a star student. Hopefully it'll loosen him up from the stank face he was giving me last time and he won't group me in with that idiot partner of mine.

Speaking of which, now walking through the courtyard I was able to spot him in the distance sitting on top of one of the cemented tables near the courtyard, with girls hanging around him like a flock of geese to a slice of bread. A strange analogy but it works in this case because that's exactly what they looked like. Like honestly, didn't any of them have some form dignity or self-respect? The guy is just openly flirting around with every single one of them and they're still interested in him? He's good looking, I give him that but he obviously has no intention in being serious with any of them. So were they there because they wanted his attention, possibly letting him know that they were open and willing to fool around with him? Or were they actually expecting something more?

I scoffed. Either way, it wasn't like I cared. It wasn't any of my business what he or they did anyways. But what I did find curious was the fact that it was only 8:00 in the morning and he was awake and wasting no time getting down to business. Someone like him looked like they only knew how to wake up no earlier than 12:00 in the afternoon.

"Hey, Min." I looked off to the side where my name had been called out from and smiled upon seeing a familiar friendly face. "You're here early." Her wide smile reflected her bubbly personality.

"Hey, Wen." I greeted back before pulling the slightly taller girl in for a hug. "I have a class in thirty." If it weren't for that I would probably still be at home happily chilling in my underwear.

Realizing that she wasn't even paying attention to me anymore, I followed her gaze just she began to speak again. "That Byun Baekhyun is so unbelievably hot."

I snorted at the way she sounded like she was swooning and looked at her unbelieving. "Oh, Wen. Please. Not you too." Like he honestly wasn't all that. And she was waaay out of his league. I mean she was slender and as pale in complexion as Irene was. If I had to describe her in one phrase, I would say she was the embodiment of the 'girl-next-door' type. Everything about Wendy was pretty. From her long flowing brown hair to her smooth skin, her sparkling eyes and girly fashion sense. Like just imagine someone who was "as pretty as a princess". That's Wendy. And she was not someone who should be talking about the likes of Byun Baekhyun. No way.

I watched as Wendy playfully rolled her eyes and then smiled my way. "The rest of us can't be as overachieving as you with your unreasonably high standards. Some of us don't mind just settling for dastardly good looks."

"You're incredibly smart and beautiful. Why should you settle for someone like him?" I argued with furrowed brows. "And they're not unreasonable."

"Not at all," She rebuked, unconvinced. "How long has it been since you last dated someone?"

"Junior year of high school," I answered too quickly. !

She gave me that all-knowing smirk of hers. "Right. And how long has it been since then?"

4 years. I narrowed my eyes. "Shut up." Damn it. She got me.

So I hadn't dated in like 4 years, that didn't mean that it was because I was looking for the impossible. I didn't have high standards... I just haven't found anyone worth my time. Can you blame me? People these days aren't looking for a real commitment. I've realized it's a seldom thing. I'm not going to say guys only want one thing, because that couldn't be father from the truth. Some girls are the same too. They want something with no-string attached. It's not that I'm not looking for that, or that I'm not willing but there just hasn't been anyone who's caught my eye. Not only that, but who would want to deal with someone who has as much baggage as I do?

"Exactly." She guffawed in satisfaction and after allowing herself to settle down she placed her hands over my shoulder, smiling cutely when she caught my pouting face. "Anyways, I'm glad I caught you."

I glanced over at her suspiciously. "Why, what's up?"

"The Honor's Society wanted me to hand you these." She reached into her bag and pulled out a folder that I could already tell has a small stack of papers in them. I reached over and grabbed it.

"What is it?"

I slowly began flipping through the pages, skimming through them as she explained. "Information regarding the current academic standings of the students. You're on top as usual."

I didn't want to brag, but I've always had a pretty good reputation as a valued, hardworking student all throughout my academic life. And I wanted to keep it that way. But of course, there was always a secondary reason behind why I maintained my high GPA and why I joined the Honors Society. Yeah, I really did value my grades and I was very hardworking, but I needed these things to keep me held together. It was a front. I couldn't let anyone see the faults in my cracks. Maintaining these things meant that no one would bat a lash my way. That everything was still th