Chapter 1: Examples are very important. If you just claim this and this without giving an example, the author will most likely disregard your words. Take a look at the Narrative Elements section of my review. Although I know exactly what you're talking about because other reviewers have helped me with the narration, if it was another author's story, you would confuse them because you weren't specific. It is very important that you are specific and you give explanations and examples.

Most importantly, we don't need you to praise us or pat us on the back for our hard work, and so I do thank you for giving me your honest opinion. However, under Characters, all you talked about is a character you found disappointing. Again, this is a simple commentary. A review is an analysis of something. Yes, it is about giving your biased opinions, of course, but the point is to analyze too.

In the future, it would be helpful to the author for you to analyze the main characters (plural). Even if the story is still ongoing, there are still questions you can answer: Do the characters have depth? Have they been consistent in their actions so far? Do they stand out for one another? Or are they carbon copies of each other? Etc.

It is not vital if the characters aren't likable or they aren't "strong enough" because the authors purposely made them that way and those attributes are part of the characters' personalities. An author won't change a character in the middle of a chapter just to make readers like him/her, unless said-character was inconsistent and it poorly affected the plot.

I encourage you to continue criticizing things you like and don't like in your reviews because it shows your perspective, but bear in mind, just a general advice for everyone: All reviewers are reviewing a story they read, not a story they wished the author had written.

Chapter 1: Thank you for the review :)

Since this is your first time reviewing, I hope I can you give tips without offending you.

I can see you have a long way to go because your review is more of a commentary than an actual review. A review has depth and I think you will improve your skills, given time and practice, of course.

I was going to wait a bit longer until I get my story reviewed again, but since I'm curious about how you would review, I decided to request :)

Thanks for opening up this review shop and I hope all of the authors will be polite to you.