“Taekwoon?!”

You called his name and heard him calling you back from the kitchen. You walked in the direction of the kitchen and found him pouring coffee into a mug before placing it on the counter and reaching for the second mug. He looked up at you and motioned you to sit to the table. You sat on the kitchen stool and waited for him to sit next to you.

“Taekwoon I…”

You said, but he interrupted you as he said:

“Please, don’t say anything and just listen to me, okay?”

You nodded and he brought the mug closer to you before taking a deep breath and asking:

“Do you remember our first meeting?”

He looked at you and you nodded again. It’s the only thing I remember, you wanted to say, but seeing a smile appear on his face, you decided otherwise. He paused for a second and then continued:

“I won’t deny that I was a bit intimidated when I first saw you. When you said my singing was fine I was a bit hurt."

He giggled and then added:

"But… but I could see through you. I could tell that you’re hiding something, hiding behind a fake cruelty that was meant to push people away, but it did the opposite to me. I found myself getting attracted to you and seeing more of the real you every day.”

He reached for your hand on the table and let his thumb brush the back of it, unaware of the blush creeping into your cheeks and the pounding in your chest as he recalled how he felt upon meeting you. These were things you were never aware of. You could tell he was hurt by your comments on his singing but you never thought he'd be attracted by your harsh behavior.

He interrupted your thoughts as he asked:

“Do you… do you remember our first hug?”

Our first hug? Oh! Yes…

You nodded again and you could feel your cheeks burning because of his touch and the mention of the hug.

“When… when I saw you crying in that storage room I felt like… I felt like I needed to hug you, to protect you, to shield you from everyone and everything that had caused you pain. I saw how vulnerable you were under that stony façade but I also saw how strong you were, achieving all this success despite your pain. When I had you in my arms I… I knew I’d fall for you. I… this might not make sense at all and I should probably stop talking…but... I hope I made myself clear...”

He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment and averted his eyes away from you, a shy smile adorning his face. You were blushing heavily listening to him talk about how he fell in love with you. You never thought anyone would feel like this about you, not after your painful breakup with Ji Sung, and definitely not after witnessing this side of you. You hated showing your weakness to others but you couldn’t deny that his hug was comforting. When Yoongi introduced him to you, you had to put on the face that says “I’d never be interested in you,” you used that a defense mechanism because you didn't want to go through heartbreak again. When you accidentally heard him say that he might be interested in you, you knew your “stay away from me” face and attitude weren't working. But to end your first encounter with crying in his arms apparently shattered your mask to pieces. You wished you had the courage to ask him what happened next, how he managed to approach you after everything that happened.

You looked at him and you could feel butterflies unleashing in your tummy. You could see love in his eyes and a similar feeling blooming in your heart. An invisible string pulled your face closer to his and you found yourself pecking the corner of his lips causing his eyes to widen in surprise. Your heart jumped at the feeling of his lips on your, but before you could back away he cupped your cheeks, holding your face close to his and tilting it upwards before locking your lips with his. His lips felt soft, moving gently against yours. You placed your hands on his shoulders when you felt his hand resting on the small of your back pulling your body closer. You felt his tongue brushing against your lower lip so you parted your lips to grant him access. Before he could deepen the kiss you suddenly became aware of the situation. He could feel you tensing under his touch so he opened his eyes to find you staring at him. You pulled out of the kiss and placed your hand on your chest, trying to calm the pounding of your heart. He pursed his lips and leaned in to kiss you again but you placed your hands on his chest pushing him lightly as you said:

“Can we look at the wedding album now?”

He moved away from you and gave you a smile when he noticed the light shade of pink creeping into your cheeks. Reaching for your hand and holding it in his, he pulled you up and walked you toward the bedroom.

“Yes! Of course!”

You sat on the edge of the bed as you looked at Taekwoon walk toward the cupboard in the other corner of the room. He opened it, took a white photo album out of it and then walked back in your direction. He sat down next to you and placed the album on his lap and then looked up at you as he said:

“Let me know if you remember anything, okay?”

Despite the nervousness apparent on your face, you nodded. You were scared. What if I don't remember anything? What if all this remains foreign to me? He seemed like he had high hopes and you were too scared to cause him any disappointment. You looked at him as his fingers traced the cover photo and your eyes were soon fixed on the couple in the photo. A man and a woman in wedding attire standing close to each other. The man's arms were wrapped around the woman's waist and her hand was resting on his chest, both had a happy smile on their faces as they looked at the camera. A few seconds passed and you could feel your cheeks heat up when you finally recognized the couple to be none other than you and Taekwoon. Even though he had already stated that this was your wedding album, a part of you couldn't believe that a day had come where you actually wore a wedding dress and got married.

“You were so beautiful. I mean you still are. I…”

Taekwoon stuttered when his attempt to compliment you took a slightly different turn due to his nervousness. He expected you to recognize the cover photo, to say anything that would hold his hopes high. Regardless of your astonished expression and silent admiration of the photo, he kept a smile on his face, trying to hide his slight disappointment.

“You look so good in a suit.”

You said as you looked up at him with a smile on your face. He giggled.

“Then should I wear a suit every day?”

“Maybe.”

You said as you averted your eyes away from him. He laughed again and then moved to the following page as he described each and every photo in details, recalling names of guests and family members and at times telling you more about a specific guest, things you knew or have been through with him.

“This is my mother, this is Minyul, he was very cute. This is my friend Sunggyu. You met him on our first date, remember?”

You felt flustered as his questions were getting more specific with no sign of progress from your side. He noticed your eyes studying the photo in despair, so he immediately added:

“We went to a fast food restaurant around the corner near the studio. I had to beg for two weeks for you to agree to go out with me and I even stayed in the studio for three nights to finish the work you used as an excuse for your rejection. But that night, rain was heavier than usual and you thought I'd cancel our date due to the rain but I came prepared. Sunggyu arrived with his car to pick us up because you refused to drive in the rain. He even stayed until you asked to go home to drop us back.”

He was talking about how much trouble you caused just to go out with him on a date with a grin on his face. It made you wonder what other hardships you put him through until you got to this point. This only made you think of one question to ask:

“Why?”

He titled his head to the side as he looked at you in confusion.

“Why did you marry me?”

He placed the photo album on the coffee table and turned to look at you. Holding your hand in his as his thumb brushed the back of it, he said:

“Because I loved you, I still do... and marrying you was everything I wanted... ever since I met you I knew you'd mean more to me than just my annoying boss..."

He giggled. You pulled your hand out of his hold and the smile on his face slowly disappeared, a worried expression taking its place when you didn’t smile back. You looked at the photos and let your fingers trace his face. You were choking in tears as you asked:

“What if I never remember any of this? What if I never remember our love, our dates, our wedding day, our children? What if I never remember anything?”

Tears gathered in your eyes at the thought of not being able to recall any of your previous life events. Taekwoon, upon seeing distress on your face, reassured you as he said:

“Then I’ll do it all over again. I’ll make you fall in love with me, take you on dates, propose to you and marry you again. I’ll do everything it takes to have you back because I love you. You mean so much to me, to us, and I am not going to give up on you, ever.”

His words eased the piercing pain in your chest and warmed your heart. He was your shelter and having him so deeply in love with, after 12 years of marriage, 5 children and a challenging life was a blessing you never thought you'd have. You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He was taken aback for a second. He didn't expect you to initiate a hug or any sort of physical contact. It took him a moment to react. A smile crept into his face as he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you into his embrace.

“Thank you.”

You whispered as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. His smile grew bigger. He your hair and back gently. His body radiated warmth you haven't experienced before, and for the first time ever since you woke up in this house, you felt content. His words were comforting and his touches were calming. To be in the arms of someone who loved you this much after all this time made you feel safe.

You slowly pulled out of his arms and looked at him for a second as if trying to convince yourself that he was real. Taking this chance, he leaned forward and stole a quick peck from your lips. A blush crept into your cheeks and your heart skipped a beat when he whispered:

“I love you.”

You averted your eyes away from him as you whispered a ‘thank you.’

“I have another album, a better album. Do you want to look at it?”

“Sure!”

He stood up, placed the wedding album back before picking another album and sitting next to you. The album had a family photo on the front cover, your family. In the photo, you were sitting on a chair with an infant in your arms, Taekwoon sitting next to you with the twins on his lap, Hakyeon to your right and Jaehwan to Taekwoon’s left.

“We took this photo two months ago.”

He said before flipping the page and giggling. You saw a photo of the twins riding his back while Hakyeon was trying to carry Jaehwan and obviously failing. The next photo showed you sleeping with Wonsik in your arms in nothing but a diaper, his little hands resting on your face. He continued flipping the pages, showing you photos of him and Hakyeon pretending to wrestle, Jaehwan hiding behind the curtain to scare Wonsik, Wonsik picking his nose, Hongbin hanging around Taekwoon’s neck, and the two of you giving Sanghyuk a bath in a small tub in the living room. He also showed you a photo of Hakyeon on his first day to school, Jaehwan during last year’s school play in a tree costume, Hongbin and Wonsik eating spaghetti and getting sauce all over their faces. He smiled when he saw you giggling at the photos, looking at them with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eyes. He couldn’t deny that he was hoping you’d remember anything, but he was determined to help you rebuild your lost memory even if it took him years to do so.

You stopped at a photo of him lying on bed, shirtless, with an infant sleeping on his chest. His hands secured the infant's position and his eyes focused on his sleeping face. Looking closely, you could see tears rolling down the side of his face.

"This is Hakyeon, right?"

You asked and he hummed in response. You looked up at him to find tears rolling down his face. His tears alerted you.

“Why are you crying?”

He wiped his tears and smiled as he said:

“I've just realized how blessed I am to have you and the kids. This family is everything I’ve ever wanted. When you told me you were pregnant with Hakyeon I thought I was the happiest man alive but when I held him in my arms I… I don’t know how to describe it but it was euphoric. Holding a piece of me in my arms, a piece of us, and raising him together with you was a dream come true. I thought I couldn’t be happier when I saw him take his first steps and call me daddy but you only made me happier when you told me you were pregnant with Jaehwan. Then the twins and Sanghyuk, my life just kept getting better and better.”

He paused for a second and then said:

“Even though this meant more responsibilities for both of us, you never complained. You showered us with love and care and I couldn’t be more thankful that I married you. You’d take me in your arms when I come back from work and I’d forget all the exhaustion and fatigue. Seeing you and the kids waiting for me every night is what kept me going.”

He suddenly gasped when he noticed tears rolling down your face. He cupped your face and wiped your tears away before asking:

“What’s wrong?”

“I... I don’t think my father ever felt like you did. We lived together but I don’t remember him being as happy to be home as you were. I don’t have a photo album with family pictures like the ones we have. I don’t have happy memories like the ones our kids have. I never even thought I’d have kids. I was always sure I’d be a terrible mother, like my own.”

You wiped your tears away and smiled at him before saying:

“How did you even convince me?”

He scratched the back of his head before saying:

“It took a lot of begging and a lot of patience to get you to go out with me on a date. After the first date you said you are willing to give this relationship a try. Yoongi and I were really surprised and you refused to talk to me for a whole week because I told him.”

He giggled and then said:

“But you seemed to enjoy torturing me and I didn’t mind. We went out on the second date after two months. Even though I was dying to kiss you, I wasn’t allowed to until the tenth date… when you... when you finally told me you loved me. On our first anniversary… I proposed… and you said yes.”

He paused to look at you and you said in a whisper:

“Keep going please.”

He lifted his hand up and pushed a lock of hair behind your ear as he continued:

“We got married 6 months later. I couldn’t wait any longer since you had requested that we… we only have after marriage and I agreed. It took you almost a month to loosen up and give in to me and I was grateful that you were finally trusting me enough with this. You got pregnant two months later."

He giggled at the memory as he said:

"You freaked out at first and spent the whole nine months anxiously reading and watching videos about babies and how to look after them. You read books on how to raise a child and to be a good mother. As you approached your ninth month, you made me promise not to ever make you pregnant again.”

“How did we end up with 5 kids then?”

He gave you a warm smile and touched your cheek as he said:

“It was Hakyeon. You said his smile healed you. When you held him in your arms you cried for at least half an hour. When the nurses took him away you begged me to bring him back. You cried the whole time when you fed him for the first time, when you kissed him for the first time, when you called his name for the first time. You said he makes your heart melt and for a while I was so jealous of him because you loved him in an instant.”

You felt a strange warmth in your heart at the mention of Hakyeon. You've always heard people taking about the mother's love for her first born but you never believed any of it because you were your mother's first born and she left you and never looked back. But somehow, all this talk about Hakyeon brought a different feeling to your heart and you found yourself saying:

“Hakyeon... I haven’t been giving him enough attention lately, have I?”

Taekwoon placed a hand on your shoulder before saying:

“He knows you haven’t been feeling well lately, so he understands. He’s an angel. I don’t know what we have done in our lives to deserve him.”

You asked:

“What does he usually like to eat?”

Taekwoon thought for a second before saying:

“I think he likes rose pasta the most. But why?”

“Can you make it for lunch? I think he’d be happy to find his favorite food on the table when he comes home. I also want to feed him myself, would he like that?”

He smiled and said:

“I’m sure he will. I’ll go check if we have all the ingredients first.”

“Can I help you?”

He held your hand in his.

"Sure. Shall we?"

You and Taekwoon headed to the kitchen. He took out the rose pasta recipe and asked you to help him locate the ingredients. You checked the list and he was delighted to know all the ingredients were available at home.

"Shall we start?"

He asked and you nodded. He grabbed his apron and put it on before helping you put yours on. He then asked you to cook the pasta while he chopped the onion and the mushroom. Following his instructions, you drained the pasta, added olive oil and watched him cook the shrimps with the vegetables. He then asked you to sit to the kitchen table as he took care of the rest.

"Can I stay here and watch you?"

You asked.

"Sure."

He said as he stirred the shrimps with the tomato sauce. He then added water and said:

"We need to wait until it starts boiling."

You nodded.

"What shall we do until then?"

You asked, wondering if anything else needed preparation while you waited for the sauce to boil. He placed the spatula on a plate near the oven and turned to look at you. You swallowed hard as he approached you, trapping your body between his body and the wall.

"What shall we do?"

"That's not what I meant."

You said in a weak voice, an unusual feeling engulfing your body and a knot forming in your stomach at the proximity of your bodies.

"It's too late now."

Your breathing hitched when he leaned forward and locked his lips with yours. He had attempted to kiss you earlier today, but this kiss was different. After showing you the photo albums and telling you how your relationship progressed and how much you meant to him, your feelings altered and you welcomed this kiss as a declaration of his love. His lips were soft against yours, moving gently and rhythmically with yours. His kiss became slightly forceful and a moan escaped. You opened your eyes to meet his bewildered stare. You pulled away and averted your eyes away from him, biting your lower lip in embarrassment. You didn't expect yourself to react to his kiss like that, and it definitely surprised him.

You lifted your eyes to look at him when you saw the sauce boiling.

"The food!"

You said and he turned around and removed the pan off the stove.

"We almost ruined lunch."

He said with a giggle as he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. He then looked at the clock hanging on the wall before saying:

"I'll add the whipping cream when I'm back. I have to go pick up the kids."

He was avoiding looking at you, as if knowing how embarrassed you were. You simply hummed in response to everything he said, unable to form a proper sentence. He then turned the stove off and left the kitchen. He came back a couple of minutes later, grabbed the car keys and said:

"I'll go pick up the kids."

He left and closed the door behind him and you could finally breathe. You cursed yourself for losing control and letting out a moan, ruining the mood and losing the feeling of him surrounding your body. You couldn't deny that you were starting to feel attracted to him and slowly realizing that he was yours, that he's been yours for 12 years. You tried to busy yourself with cleaning the kitchen until he and the kids were back, and pushing the kiss and the awkward moan behind your back.

Taekwoon came back almost an hour later after picking up the kids from school and Sanghyuk from his sister’s house. You were waiting for the kids in the living room and they ran to you as soon as they walked through the door. You opened your arms and giggled when Jaehwan pushed himself between the twins and threw his arms around your neck. Wonsik cried in protest but you held his hand, pulled him in and kissed his cheek as he squeezed himself next to Jaehwan. Taekwoon then asked them to go to their room, change and wash before lunch. You called Hakyeon's name and took him in your arms, his hair and back before pulling out and printing a kiss on his temple.

“You know that I love you, right?”

You said as you looked at him. He smiled and nodded.

“Daddy made your favorite food. Hurry up and change so we can eat together.”

You ruffled his hair before letting him go to his room. You then walked to Taekwoon who was in the kitchen, taking plates out of the cupboard to serve lunch and asked him if he needed any help.

“Can you check on Sanghyuk? He just needs to change his clothes; can you do that for me?”

You hesitated for a couple of seconds as you stared at him. So far you had nothing to do with the baby. He sent him to his sister’s house, telling her you weren’t feeling well for the time being and she was more than happy to help. The toddlers were more than enough for you. But having him ask you for help, you couldn’t say no. You nodded so he said:

“You’ll find his pajama near his bed.”

You knocked on the door and opened it to find Wonsik and Hongbin still dressed in their school uniform and Hakyeon urging them to hurry up and change. When they saw you enter the room, they started whining about Hakyeon.

“Honey, go help daddy in the kitchen. I’ll take care of them.”

As soon as he was out, you turned to the twins and said:

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“I’m starving!”

Wonsik whined so you said:

“Why are you still wearing the uniform then? If you don’t change in 5 minutes you’ll miss lunch!”

It suddenly turned into a competition when the two of them ed their shirts and took of their pants hurriedly. You laughed at Hongbin who probably had a habit of forgetting to take his shoes off first. Wonsik stopped and helped his brother untie his shoes and then turned to place his shirt on their bed.

You left them to change and wash and turned to find Sanghyuk playing with a stuffed toy in his crib. You found the clothes on the changing table next to the crib. Reaching for them, you paused for a second, staring at Sanghyuk. His eyes were fixed on you, following every move you made. You suddenly remembered your friend’s child staring at you a second before crying. You were afraid Sanghyuk would be alarmed too so you took your time not to surprise him with any move you made. You reached for him inside the crib and tightened your hold around his body and placed a hand behind his head before taking him out of the crib and placing him on Hakyeon’s bed. He giggled as his tiny arms reached for your face. You automatically opened your mouth and closed your lips on his finger causing him to giggle again. You repeated it several times, letting him put his finger in your mouth and pretending to bite it causing him to giggle.

Taekwoon walked on you making weird sounds and cooing at Sanghyuk. He knocked the door not wanting to startle you and you turned around to find him standing at the door with a content smile on his face.

“The food is getting cold and the kids won’t eat until you come.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll change his clothes quickly and join you.”

He walked up to you and said:

“I’ll do it. Go eat your lunch.”

“No please. Let me do it.”

“Let me help you then. The kids are starving.”

He then took Sanghyuk’s clothes off with your help and put him in his pajamas before carrying him to the living room. He placed him on the baby chair next to him and you sat down next to Hakyeon. Jaehwan was whining about how hungry he was and you said you were sorry so he dramatically said:

“Prince Christopher forgives you. You may sit down.”

Hongbin giggled.

“Prince?”

“Yes! The teacher said I will be the prince this year.”

“Last year you were a tree.”

Wonsik teased.

“Mommy!”

Jaehwan cried. Taekwoon glared at the twins before saying:

“He’s working very hard on this play so please stop teasing him!”

You smiled at them nodding and apologizing to their brother before turning your attention to Hakyeon. He was eating his food silently so you picked up your fork and asked him to open his mouth. You started feeding him and you could see his eyes sparkling in happiness. He picked up his fork and fed you from his plate. Taekwoon looked at the two of you feeding each other and smiled at the scene. He was delighted to see you interact with the children so comfortably. He was worried that your memory loss would cause more trouble but seeing you slowly adjusting to the situation made him feel at ease.

You asked the boys about school and listened to them complain about some teachers or recalling funny stories from the break time. Jaehwan then said one of his friends was crying today because his parents might not be able to come to the play which reminded you of the teacher’s call.

“Do you want me and daddy to come to the play?”

You asked and he looked at you for a second before saying:

“Of course I want you to come! You’ll come right?”

He then turned to look at Taekwoon:

“Right daddy?”

“Of course we will. How can we miss it?”

Jaehwan instantly jumped from his seat and hugged you tightly while Wonsik and Hongbin argued about who will show you around the school first.

Later that night you went to bed after helping the kids prepare for school, made sure Jaehwan practiced his lines for tomorrow’s rehearsals, Hongbin’s tutu was in the closet since he said he’ll wear it to school, Wonsik’s math homework was done and Hakyeon’s school uniform was washed and ironed. He had asked you to wash it since he had fallen down while protecting his friend Eunji from bullies. Taekwoon was in rage when he knew the boys had been pulling the girl’s braids but Hakyeon told him he had taken care of them and reported them to his teacher.

You were very proud of him and you made sure he knew it. After preparing his clothes you walked up to him as he lay in his bed and sat down next to him. You took him in your embrace and told him how proud you and Taekwoon are of him for standing up for his friend. You were surprised when he apologized.

“I know I promised not to get in trouble but I couldn’t see them bully her and do nothing.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You did the right thing by reporting them to the teacher. We’re proud of you and there is nothing to apologize for.”

You kissed him before pulling the comforter over his body and walking out of the room. You took a few steps back and saw Taekwoon lying in bed with the twins in his arms. He was still sleeping with them and you thought it was about time to ask him to go back to your bedroom. You were still nervous just thinking about sleeping next to him but you couldn’t stop thinking of everything he told you this morning, and that kiss before lunch. You walked into the room again and called his name.

“Do you need anything?”

“Yes. Can you come for a second?”

“Sure.”

He moved out of bed slowly trying not to wake Wonsik up. He pulled the comforter over the twins’ bodies and you whispered:

“Close the door behind you.”

He tiptoed his way out of the room and closed the door behind him before turning to look at you:

“What is it? Are you okay?”

“Yes but… are you going to sleep here every day?”

You bit your lower lip as you avoided eye contact with him.

“I… I just didn’t want to bother you.”

You looked up at him.

“You’re not bothering me. I’m sorry for making you sleep here for the past couple of days. Can you please go back to your room... our room?”

“Are you sure you’d be comfortable…”

“Just come, please.”

You interrupted him and he simply nodded before walking with you toward the bedroom. You entered the room and he followed before closing the door behind him. You walked slowly toward the bed before lying down, waiting nervously for him to join you. You gasped when he took his shirt off and he felt flustered at your reaction.

“I… I’m just used to sleeping without a shirt… I’ll put it back on if it’s bothering you.”

You averted your eyes away from him as you said:

“It’s okay. Do you… do you also take your… pa…”

He giggled.

“I keep my pants. Don’t worry.”

He paused for a second and then almost whispered:

“Unless you want me to take them off.”

He giggled again and you could feel your cheeks heat up in an instant. You stole quick glances at him as he placed his shirt on the hanger before turning around and facing you. Seeing his bare chest made you blush heavily and your nervousness intensified when he lay down next to you. He was suddenly hovering over you. He pecked your lips lightly before whispering:

“Do you think we can… you know…”

You were trembling under him. His kiss sent shivers down your spine and his breathing tickled your lips. He was dangerously close and you could hear your heart pounding in your chest. You took the hint and stuttered an apology:

“I… I need time. I’m sorry.”

He placed a chaste kiss on your temple before backing away and saying:

“Take your time. I’ll wait for you.”

He lay down on bed and you hesitated for a second before lying down with your back facing him. He reached for the switch to turn the lights off. You could feel him creeping next to you before placing his arms at your sides.

“Can I at least hug you?”

You took a few seconds to answer and he waited patiently. You then hummed your approval and he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you closer to him so your back was against his chest. He inhaled your scent, closed his eyes and whispered:

“I love you.”