Wonwoo lies in his bed, cold and alone. The boy curls up into a fetal position, hugging his pillow tightly and sighing. Mornings were always worse for him, he always felt alone in times like these. He missed him, of course, so much. And he felt his heart shattering at the thought of him. He missed his hugs, his kisses, his smile. He missed everything about him. He hugged the pillow closer in attempt to cure his loneliness, burying his face unto it and let out a sob. If it were a normal day, he’d laugh at himself, and the other would, too. He would probably joke about how ugly Wonwoo looked like when he cried, and then the older would get mad not talk to him for a while, but of course he couldn’t resist the younger boy, he loved him.

Wonwoo sat up and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffed, still hugging the pillow close. He got up and decided to do something that could distract him from his own thoughts, so he quickly changed and grabbed his wallet, and for the first time in months, Jeon Wonwoo went out.

It feels quite nice to go outside again, Wonwoo thinks. He liked the crunching sound when his boots would step on fallen leaves, he likes the cold Autumn wind brushing up against his cheeks, he likes going outside, but he hasn’t gone out since then. But things and people change, right?

He walks inside a coffee shop, the coffee shop both of them used to always go to, he ordered a small cup of coffee and sat on the booth they used to sit. Sitting there made Wonwoo remember him, but there was no other empty booths, so he didn’t have a choice.

He sipped his coffee and looked outside, watching people and vehicles pass by. He remembered when they used to count all the blue and red cars that would pass by, and when they would talk about nearly anything and he still remembered when he would laugh at his lame jokes, and Wonwoo felt his heart crushing against his chest, so he left the place before he could cry in front of these many people.

Wonwoo’s feet brought him to the park. Where they first met. It was accidental, they bumped into each other, and somehow there number’s appeared on their phones, and then somehow they just kind of… happened.

He sat on a small bench and sipped on his coffee. He still remembered when they would always go here and watch all the children play, and he remembered one time when the other went up to help a small girl that got her knee injured. Wonwoo fell even more in love with him back then.

And then Wonwoo stood up and went back to his old apartment and ended up on the same position he was in an hour ago. Going back to all those places reminded the boy of him. Of them. And he wished he could go back to the past. Not to change anything. Just to look back at things he missed. And to looked back at things that was now gone. And he felt himself crying again, he sobbed against his now wet pillow, crying until he ran out of tears.

In the past few days, Wonwoo’s friends tried so hard to cheer him up. Seungcheol and Jeonghan visited, giving him comfortable hugs and trying to talk to him, but seeing the couple made him cry even harder, so they both left.

Jihoon visited, too. He bought him food and somethings he needed. He was even nice enough to wash his dishes (that had been lying in the sink for two weeks) and washed his laundry, Wonwoo thanked him, but Jihoon soon left.

The last person who visited was Soonyoung. He wasn’t much of a help either, but it felt good to realize that people still cared for him.

But at the end of the day, Wonwoo knew he was still alone. He stopped crying and sat on his couch now. The nightly news was playing on the TV, but he wasn’t paying attention. Instead he was staring straight ahead, not thinking, he was just, not doing anything. He stared straight ahead, his mind and heart felt empty. He felt numb and weak.

Wonwoo stood up again and was about to get his phone from his pocket to call Jihoon, but something fell from his back pocket. He picked the small piece of paper on the floor and examined it.

And there, on the small polaroid picture stood smiling widely, was Kim Mingyu. The love of his life.

Wonwoo only felt his heart breaking into more pieces as he stares at Mingyu’s smiling face. His knees gave up on him and he kneelt there on the floor, crying as he stared at Mingyu. He kissed the photograph and held it near his chest, where his heart was supposed to be. The boy realized that this was the only picture he ever had of him. The others were on his phone (which Jeonghan deleted because he thought that would distract him) or on the internet. So he kept it.

Wonwoo woke up the next day with the photograph on his hands, he rubbed his eyes and stretched. He looked at Mingyu one more time and decided. He showered and dressed. He placed the photo on his back pocket and grabbed his wallet to go out.

It had been months since Kim Mingyu died in a tragic car accident. It broke Jeon Wonwoo’s heart so much he felt like his world was collapsing. He spent five months on his apartment alone. Waiting for some miracle that could bring Mingyu back to his arms. But sadly that was not to happen. He realized that. It just took a lot of time. But he knows now. He might never come back, but he is always in his heart, and in the pocket of his jeans. Mingyu may have left, but they’ll see each other again. He knows that.