Jonghyun looked to his right. He saw the serious face of the other one, brows furrowed and jaw clenched, and it stirred something inside him. He couldn't move his gaze away even if he wanted to; it was something that had been happening far too much lately. He kept watching as the brunette seemed concentrated on getting the repetitive task done. He wanted to do the same, but distracting thoughts kept preventing him from doing so. Images of their walks home kept nagging at him, making him fidgety in his seat and unable to focus. He had gotten used to that routine by now and he didn't want it to end. This was their last day of detention and he knew what that meant. Things would just be going back to how they were before.

Despite his apprehensions, he went back to his sheet and copied the words from the text they had been given this time. He managed to keep at it until the end, not wanting to let anymore of his thoughts go to waste on something he could not have. Unfortunately, as soon as they left the room, he found himself hoping again. The brunette was by his side and didn't seem to be in a rush to part ways.

« Gosh I'm glad this is over » Jinki voiced loudly, his relief seeping out of him through every pore.

Jonghyun couldn't help but chuckle. « You'll surely find some way to find yourself in that room soon enough, » he teased.

The blonde lost his balance as he was abruptly pushed. An instinctive Ouch left his lips although no harm had been done.

Jinki's gaze narrowed. « Glad you think so highly of me, » he spat with what sounded like real indignation.

But Jonghyun wasn't going to buy that. He had seen enough of the other's disruptive behaviour to know that things weren't going to suddenly make a 180 because he had had a few weeks of detention.

« I'm wrong then? » His tone was defying, bordering arrogance. Another thing that seemed to happen far more since he had started to hang around the other.

Jinki huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in defeat. A muffled You're mean left his lips before he started walking again.

Jonghyun followed him, a self-satisfied smile dancing on his lips. He had almost forgotten about his worries as he basked in his little victory. Their back and forth teasing had become quite enjoyable to him.

He stopped in front of his locker and opened it as he heard the other's steps echo further down the empty hallway. He took out the stuff he needed and put it into his school bag before rushing - no, walking a little faster than he normally would - to the other's locker. That ritual had just settled naturally between them after a few days of detention. Jonghyun would then remind the other of the homework they had to do, even though it wasn't of much use, and then they'd walk together back home, their houses being only a few streets apart.

This time, Jonghyun didn't say anything though. He didn't want what would possibly be their last time together to be about him nagging the other to bring his homework home.

Jinki seemed to pick up on the change of demeanour. « No lecture on how I should be taking school seriously? » he asked with a cocked brow.

Jonghyun shrugged. « I thought I'd let you be this time  ».

Jinki's lips parted as to let out a reply but no words left his mouth. Instead, he grabbed his school bag and closed his locker.

« Let's go, » he simply said before his body got moving again.

Once more, they found themselves side by side, keeping silent until they crossed the front door.

« How about we get some ice cream? » Jinki suddenly proposed. His gaze was down on the ground.

Jonghyun looked at him, perplexed. He felt uneasy. His mind was shouting a vibrant YES but he knew that probably wasn't the best idea.

« Um... before dinner? » he pointed out, instantly feeling dumb as for it.

Jinki let out a derisive laugh. « Gosh, you're such a dork sometimes. »

Jonghyun felt a sudden heat rush to his cheeks. Another thing that happened far too much when he was around the other. « Shut up, » he let out instantly.

The brunette's eyes widened. « Wow, I didn't think you were capable of saying such words, » he mocked with more laughter.

Jonghyun gave him a push, but it was so weak it hardly made the other budge. « Stop laughing at me, » he whined in frustration.

« I'll stop if you come get ice cream with me. » Jinki's lips stretched out in an overly smug smile.

Jonghyun felt the urge to just leave him hanging, but his agreement had never been up for debate. He was ready to do anything if it meant spending more time with him. The realization brought some color to his cheeks again.

« Fine, » he let out sharply despite feeling like his heart was about to melt. He hated how much the other affected him.

They fell back into their shared silence, Jonghyun mindlessly following Jinki to whatever ice cream parlour he had in mind. But as they walked farther and farther away from their usual route, Jonghyun started to question the other's intentions.

« Where are we going? » he finally asked.

Jinki looked at him. His eyes almost disappeared behind a cunning smile, leaving the other to feel a little panicky.

« I thought it'd be fun to go some place first, » he vaguely filled in.

« Some place? » Jonghyun echoed in a shrill voice. 

« Don't worry. We won't be doing anything illegal... » Jinki couldn't help the laugh that left his lips. « Kinda... »

That surely failed to reassure the blonde. « I... » He cut himself short. He silenced the voice inside him that warned him to not get involved. « Fine, » he said as confidently as he could.

He could feel the other's gaze on him but he kept looking straight ahead.

They started walking in silence again, both lost in their train of thoughts. Jonghyun couldn't help the nervousness that tickled the tip of his fingers. He wanted to speak, fill up the space between them, but he knew it would sound forced and awkward. He gave a shy look to his left where the other was and caught his gaze as the latter also looked his way.

They both instantly looked forward again, their hearts jumping into their throats. It was fortunately a few more minutes before the brunette stopped dead in his tracks, bringing the blonde to do the same.

Jonghyun looked at the building facing them. He was confused and slightly uncomfortable. He hadn't even realized they had reached that neighborhood.

« Why are we here? » he asked with a slight edge to his voice.

« Because I miss this, » Jinki admitted in a low voice.

Jonghyun's eyes widened as he looked his way. The seriousness on the other's face couldn't be missed. The thought of mocking the other didn't even cross his mind as he found himself rendered silent by his own nostalgia. He looked again at their elementary school and a chain of memories unrolled in his mind. He felt his bottom lip quiver. His teeth sunk into it, barely preventing his emotions to flood.

Without warning, Jinki started walking towards it. His steps were determined and Jonghyun could only watch him in utter disbelief.

« Follow me, » Jinki ordered loudly without looking back.

That snapped Jonghyun out of it. He was scared for sure, but he wasn't going to back down now. He was equally curious to know the full story behind this idea.

The taller one brought them at the back where the pretty large schoolyard they used to play in was.

« Do you think you can climb that? » Jinki taunted with a smile as he pointed to the fence.

Jonghyun's jaw clenched at his mocking. He wanted to respond confidently but in all truth he wasn't that sure he could climb it. It wasn't that tall at all, but he didn't have much strength, plus he was scared to hurt himself by falling on the other side.

« That's what I thought, » Jinki guessed from the other's silence. « I'll help you, don't worry ».

Jonghyun gave him an unsure look, but a nod of encouragement had him putting his trust into his hands, again. First, he threw his bag to the other side of the fence. Then, he grabbed at the metal pieces forming the pattern of the fence and put one foot in one of the openings before pushing himself up, bringing his other foot to rest on the fence. He took a deep breath to keep his composure.

« You're almost there » Jinki encouraged with the faint sound of a laugh.

Jonghyun would've gladly given him one of his deadly stares, but he knew if he turned around now he would lose all balance. So he focused on the task at hand. He repeated the same motions which brought him at the top. Without thinking more, he swung a leg over the fence. He groaned as the pointy bits pushed up against his private parts. That forced him to not think too much. He brought his other leg at the other side, panicking in the process, but managing to get down to the ground without much harm. He sighed his relief and looked at the other. Now that something was separating them, Jonghyun felt much less threatened, but utterly more terrified. He always had in the back of his mind that the other could leave him at any moment.

Fortunately, it wasn't that time yet. Jinki swiftly jumped over the fence and landed with much more grace than the blonde had exhibited. His smile was wide as he gave a look around to the greenness around which was much more refreshing than their current concrete based schoolyard.

« Come, » he said before grabbing the smaller one's hand. He pulled him into his run and suddenly their legs were moving in sync, the wind blowing into their hair as they made it further into the terrain.

They stopped at a tree and landed on their asses, both of them out of breath. Jinki was the first to recover and another dashing smile illuminated his face.

« Brings you back, huh? »

Jonghyun could only nod as he tried to take it all in.

« Did you come back here before? » he suddenly thought to ask.

« Yes, once or twice... » Jinki grabbed a handful of grass and pulled it out of the ground. « I guess that makes me kind of a dork too, huh? » His voice was much softer.

Jonghyun gave him an intent look that the other did not see, the latter's gaze fixed on the grass he kept picking out. « I guess we all have a dorky side, » he answered.

Jinki acknowledged those words with a warm smile.

« Well you're the only one I'm letting see this side, » the brunette shared with the same softness.

Jonghyun felt himself getting warm. He prayed that it didn't show on his face. His mind helped in that matter by bringing some reality back into his thoughts.

« Isn't there anybody keeping an eye out for intruders? » he asked.

« Not really. I guess they don't think anyone could be interested in hanging out at an elementary school,» Jinki pointed out with a snort.

That had the blonde laughing. « I guess that makes sense ».

They both shared a smile that held nothing more than satisfaction for the present moment.

Jinki was the first to look away, his eyes widening as his mind caught a memory.

« Remember when we were playing hide and seek and you spent the whole recess looking for me? » His shoulders shook with wild laughter as the scene unfolded in his mind.

Jonghyun pouted. How could he forget? He had even started crying as panic had filled him. He crossed his arms, annoyed that the other had brought that up.

« You didn't play fair, » he reminded.

« It just made the game more fun, » Jinki countered.

« Yes, for you, » Jonghyun threw back with a huff of frustration.

« Well... yeah... » Jinki conceded before he burst into laughter again.

Jonghyun shook his head. The other should've been the worst company to him, but that's not how he felt. Despite everything he said or did, he felt comfortable with him.

« Come on, we should go get that ice cream now, » Jinki indicated as he got up. He held out his hand for the other one to take.

Jonghyun let himself get lifted up before wiping off some dirt on his pants. He looked at his watch and his body got tense.

« Um... I didn't see how late it was... I mean I didn't tell my mom or anything so...  so I should be getting back, » he managed to say through clumsiness, embarrassment and despite everything inside him yearning for him to stay.

The disappointment was clear on the brunette's face. « Oh, okay... »

Jonghyun felt his chest squeeze. He had to say something or he might never get that chance again.

« Maybe um... maybe we could go some other time... » he proposed as his heart thumped loudly in his chest.

Jinki's face lightened instantly. « Yeah, sure! How about this weekend? »

Jonghyun froze, mouth opened in surprise. He couldn't believe the other hadn't turned him down.

« Okay » was the only thing he could bring himself to say.

« Cool. So I'll text you Saturday! » Jinki took his school bag and set it on his back.

Jonghyun did the same and followed him as he started walking back towards the fence. His eyes stayed fixed on his back, his mind now filled with hope.

He didn't want this to end.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jonghyun watched as the three rascals made their way through the rows of lockers, their laughter roaring out for everyone to hear. He hid his head into his as they passed him, the only thought of having to face a certain someone making his heart skip a beat. He would've thought that his anger towards the other would've erased any trace of sentimentality, but he had been utterly wrong. The anger only made everything worse, making him realize just how much he wanted the brunette in his life. Unfortunately, the latter didn't seem to feel that way.

Sorry, Jjong... I can't make it today. Let's go some other time, okay?

He didn't know how many times he had read those words since he had received that message. It had been two weeks now. Since then, they hadn't talked, nor texted nor even exchanged a smile. And that made him unbearably sad. He was being abandoned again like he had been a few years ago.

Jonghyun slammed his locker shut. He didn't want to keep thinking about him, about all that time they had spent together after detention. It had all been too good to be true. Their friendship could never be again. With that last thought in mind, he walked to their classroom and took place at his desk. He felt anxious to see him and his crew walk into the class, but as the bell rang and the door was closed, he realized they had no intention of attending. Part of him felt relieved but despite himself he couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was a strange thing to not want to see someone, but want to see them so badly at the same time.

The blonde cursed under his breath as irrelevant thoughts kept nagging at him. He needed to focus. He needed to forget about the last few weeks and get on with his life. He brought his gaze up to their math teacher and forced himself to keep his attention on what he was saying. But what he was saying made literally no sense to his distraught mind. He kept trying and trying and trying, but he failed to retain the information given. His fingers curled into a fist as he was overwhelmed with frustration. He closed his eyes. It was very unlike himself to have that little control, but he couldn't fight it. He just let himself not be present for the rest of the class, doodling on his papers and looking out of the window. When the bell finally rang, he let out a sigh of relief.

He could finally get back to his safe space and actually focus... kinda. He found himself back to his locker again and picking out the books he needed to do his homework. His breath suddenly caught in his throat and his body froze as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around carefully to face the person. His shoulders relaxed as he looked at the familiar face.

« Hey, » the boy called Yejun softly said.

Jonghyun gave him a small smile, result of his uneasiness. He had barely acknowledged his existence in the one class they had together, being so wrapped up in rekindling a lost friendship.

« Is everything okay, Jjong? You've been... I don't know... distant lately, » the other one pointed out with obvious awkwardness.

The blonde wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained as he realized how insensitive he had been. It wasn't like he was close to the guy or anything, but they did get along well and obviously the other one had missed their sporadic study sessions and talks after classes.

« Yeah I'm fine... I've just... » He took a deep breath. « I guess I've just had a lot on my mind lately, » he outlined, hoping the other would be satisfied with that.

« Oh okay, that's fine... » Yejun rubbed the back of his neck, an embarrassed smile forming on his lips.

« Would you like to hang out now? » he asked.

Jonghyun blinked a few times, taken aback. He wasn't against the idea, but it... He didn't know if Yejun would really appreciate hanging out with this version of him. The version that was unfocused, less patient, vulnerable...

But unlike Jinki, he genuinely wants to hang out with you. That thought had him brushing any reluctance out of his mind.

« Yeah, sure, » he accepted before shutting his locker again.

They walked together and soon they were out the entrance door, letting the cool air fill their lungs.

« So what did you think of the last English test? » the taller one asked after a moment of shared silence.

Jonghyun shrugged. « It was alright. I think I did well. »

Yejun laughed. « I'm sure you did well. You always do. »

Jonghyun felt himself blush. He would never get used to getting compliments.

« I'm sure you did too, » he returned with a smile.

Yejun smiled back. « So you got detention, huh? » he then brought up to tease.

« Um... yeah... » Jonghyun really didn't want to be remembered about that now. « I guess it had to happen once in my high school life, » he went on matter-of-factly.

« Well yeah, but you didn't just skip class or something, you snuck out with the one and only Lee Jinki, » Yejun noted with what felt like disapproval.

Jonghyun felt his chest squeeze. So the word had gotten around... He didn't want to feel shame for it, but he did. Especially now that he knew how much of a deceptive person Jinki was, he didn't want anything more to do with him. Or at least that's what he knew he was supposed to be feeling.

« How did that even happen? » Yejun inquired to satiate his curiosity.

« I don't know... » And that was the truth. It had been one of those in the moment type of thing and he couldn't quite make out why he hadn't downright refused to follow the other.

As they made it further down the street perpendicular to their school, they were bumped into making them stumbled a bit.

« What the hell? » Jonghyun turned around. His heart skipped a beat. He was looking into dark chocolate eyes that he knew too well.

« Sorry about that, » Jinki said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He then looked at the other boy standing there with a confused look on his face. « Jjong forgot that he promised to help me with our math homework after school so if you don't mind... »

Jonghyun stared at him in disbelief. He knew he should be calling him out on that lie, but he stayed silent.

Yejun looked at him. « Is that true, Jjong? »

The blonde felt his mouth turn dry. He had a decision to make here. Either he chose to close the door on whatever possibilities could come out of speaking to Jinki or he let that door open. In that moment, the choice was clear.

« Yeah, I completely forgot. Sorry. » His last word was addressed to the boy who now sported a disappointed look on his face.

« It's fine. See you soon, Jjong, » the latter said before making his way further down the street.

Jonghyun stared at his back, suddenly wondering if he had taken the right decision. The other's voice brought him back to reality.

« Thanks for playing along. » Jinki was giving him an intent look, a look that made him uneasy.

« What do you want? » Jonghyun had meant for his tone to be as sharp as a knife, but the other's presence was making him weak.

« I wanted to apologize for the other day, » the brunette instantly answered. « I shouldn't have bailed on you like that, » he then added as he took a step closer.

Jonghyun immediately starting walking, not wanting to face the other. « It's fine, whatever, » he lied as the other's steps echoed his.

« Jjong... are you mad at me? » Jinki guessed. His voice was soft and full of remorse, but Jonghyun didn't want to buy that so easily.

« Who cares? I mean things are just getting back to how they should be, » he said in a tone that failed to hide his resentment.

« How they should be? » Jinki grabbed his arm to make him stop. His eyes bore into his again, making him feel completely . « What do you mean? »

Jonghyun swallowed hard. Keep it together, Jjong. « Like before our field trip and all... »

Jinki's brows furrowed. « Is that how you really feel? »

Jonghyun felt confused. He wasn't the one who had given up on whatever they had going on. « I mean you... we've not talked to each other since the last day of detention and you have your friends and I'm focusing on my studies and projects and stuff... » He knew he was rambling, but he needed to convince himself that them not being friends was for the best.

« And focusing on that little friend of yours, perhaps? » Jinki scoffed.

Jonghyun felt even more confused. Where was that even coming from? If he hadn't known any better, he would've let himself believe that the other was jealous right now.

« I guess... »

Jinki's jaw clenched. « Fine then, I guess you're right. » He took a step back. « Goodbye, Jjong. » He turned around and walked away, not giving the blonde a chance to reply.

Jonghyun just stayed in place, not registering what had just happened yet. But as the other's figure suddenly disappeared, the realization hit him. This was the end. His hope had no more ground.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jonghyun tossed and his bed for what felt like the millionth time. Once again, he was finding himself not being able to sleep. He groaned his frustration and rolled onto his back to stare at his ceiling. He knew exactly what was making his insomnia worse and he hated himself for it. It had been three weeks now since they had parted ways. This should've been enough time for him to get over it. Unfortunately, things could never be that simple. He was scared of not being able to let go. It had taken him so long to move on the first time... He felt sadness creep up inside him again. He didn't want to cry. He was so tired of it. It was so stupid to feel this way... A tear rolled down his cheek, but he wiped it off right away. 

No. He got off the bed, realizing there was no use staying there anymore. He needed some distraction. He went straight to his wardrobe where he also stored boxes of books which did not fit on his bookshelf. He had been neglecting his reading due to his focus being completely out of whack, but this was the perfect time to get back to it. He pulled out a box and started rummaging through them, looking for a specific one he had been meaning to read. He sighed as he realized it wasn't there. Perplexed, he looked into his wardrobe again, thinking it might've fallen. He froze as his hand hit a smaller box that was completely at the back.

No. It would do no good to open it. His fingers itched as he kept staring at it. Despite himself, he extended a hand and grabbed it, falling back on his as he pulled his head out of the cramped space. He opened it, not allowing himself to think further. His heart started beating faster as his eyes first met a picture he had taken with the brunette in front of his house. They were so little... He took the frame out and stared at their faces. They looked so happy and carefree... His heart swelled as he suddenly wished they could go back to that time. He set it back down as he felt his vision blur from the sudden wave of nostalgia. But what his eyes found next didn't make it any better. He slowly took out a snow globe. His bottom lip quivered, but he still caught himself smiling at the memory it brought forth.

They were running around in his yard again, carelessly throwing each other the red ball the blonde had just received from his mother. The other guests had already gone home and the sun was slowly disappearing behind the clouds, but they weren't ready to retreat inside yet. The party wasn't over until they decided it would be.

A harder kick took the breath out of the smaller one and he fell to his knees, grunting in pain. The brunette immediately rushed to his side, panicking.

« Jjong! » he screamed as he put a hand on his arm. He shook it vigorously as he got no response. « Are you alright? »

Jonghyun opened his eyes and gave the other a lazy smile. There had been more surprise than damage done he realized as his breathing evened out.

« Yeah, » he finally answered as he got back up with the other's helping hand.

« Maybe we should go back inside and eat some more cake, » Jinki proposed with a warm smile.

« Haven't you had enough already? » Jonghyun exclaimed in disbelief.

« Enough and cake should never be in the same sentence, » Jinki noted half-serious, half-playful.

Jonghyun pushed him lightly as a smile formed on his face again. « Okay, let's go ».

Jonghyun snickered at that. He had forgotten the other's passion for cake. He remembered them actually having more of that cake until they started feeling sick to their stomachs. His mother had laughed at them, having warned them previously. But they didn't care, they were just having a good time.

Jinki took his hand. « Come, I have something to show you. » He pulled the blonde into his accelerated pace, climbing up the stairs and stopping as they entered his room.

« You want to show me my room? » Jonghyun bantered as he closed the door.

« Pssh. Shut up. » The brunette went to the other's desk and took something from under it. It was  a plain looking carton box.

« When did you put that there? » Jonghyun asked with a confused expression.

« Earlier. » Jinki handed him the box. « Open it. »

Jonghyun took it, still confused, but excited to see what was inside. His eyes widened as he took out a beautiful snow globe. He had seen those before and would always look at them in awe. He didn't care if that made him a dork, he just loved them. And obviously, his best friend understood that.

« Wow, it's... » He paused as he watched the snow fall from within.

Jinki rubbed the back of his neck. « I know how much you like those things so...»

« Thank you so much. » Jonghyun gave him a bright smile. « But why though? You already gave me that book I wanted... »

« Well yeah, but I thought 'Hey it's my best friend's birthday so...' » He looked away, clearly embarrassed.

« I really appreciate this, » Jonghyun emphasized.

The blonde gave the snow globe one last look before putting it back into the box. It had been such a great day. Their friendship had felt as though it could've lasted forever, but unfortunately, it had ended a few months later. The next year they had started high school and the distance between them had just grown more and more. Not that he had really played a part in it; the brunette just had seemed like he wasn't on the same page as him anymore. He had started acting out more and more for whatever reason he had and just like that, they had stopped talking. And with time, Jonghyun had just accepted the situation, thinking that it just wasn't meant to be.

But now that was ruined. The other had sparked that hope inside him again and it wouldn't let go. He reluctantly put the box where it belonged and decided to pick out another book to read. Just as he was looking through that box again, he heard his cell phone buzz which made him jump.

What the hell? He got up and walked to his nightstand where he had left it.  1 new message, he read as he slid his thumb over the screen to unlock it. He clicked on the icon. He tensed up. Just seeing the other's name at the top of his screen was too much. He took a deep breath, scared to read what the message said. But he knew he was going to read it; he had to.

Im in ur backyard. Jonghyun's eyes widened. He immediately looked out of his window to see if it was true. His mouth fell open when he saw the brunette standing there with his phone in hand.

Jonghyun started typing. What are you doing here?

He watched as the other looked at his phone for what felt like an unbearably long moment.

His own suddenly buzzed again.

Want to tak to u... Jonghyun shook his head, annoyed at the other's typos.

Luckily his mother and sister had gone out to watch a movie so at least things wouldn't be ten million times more awkward. On the other hand, he didn't think letting the other in was a good idea anyways. He pondered on his options and let out a sigh as he realized there wasn't really a choice to make. He went down the stairs and walked towards the backdoor. He took another deep breath and opened it.

There he was, a smile suddenly plastered on his face. He walked towards the blonde and entered the house, taking care of removing his shoes before walking further inside. He didn't give the other a chance to speak as he instantly made it for the stairs, climbing them as fast as he could.

Jonghyun watched him disappear as he reached the second floor. He sighed, suddenly regretting letting him in. After a few seconds of mental prep, he climbed them too and entered his room. He was met with a sight that made his mind go blank. The other was lying on his bed as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Jonghyun couldn't help but notice how having his hair back made him look much more... He blushed. NO.

« What do you think you're doing? » He finally said as he closed the door behind him.

« I just... » The brunette hiccupped. « Thought I'd come... um... see you... » He drawled before letting out a little laugh.

Jonghyun looked at him, bewildered. Oh . He's drunk. « You should go, » he instantly replied. He wasn't going to deal with him in that state.

Jinki laughed. « Is that a way to treat a friend? » he said more clearly.

The blonde scoffed. « We're not friends, » he stated as his stomach tightened.

« Yes... we are... »

Jonghyun almost didn't catch his words as his voice dropped down to a whisper. « Are we? » he threw back before realizing how scared he was of the other's answer.

« We just... had a fight... it's fine..., » the brunette shrugged off.

« Just a fight? What-» The blonde cut himself short as he saw the other taking off his jacket and throwing it on the floor before retrieving his previous position.

« Why are you still standing over there? » Jinki whined.

Jonghyun looked down, uncomfortable.

« Come here, » the brunette said as he patted the empty space next to him.

That sounded a huge alarm in the blonde's mind. That wasn't a good idea at all.

« Um... I'd rather stay here... » He crossed his arms over his chest.

Jonghyun's eyes widened as he saw the other make his way to him much too swiftly for one being drunk. Before he could figure out what the other had in mind, he was pulled forcefully by the arm, making him lose his balance and land ungracefully on his mattress. He felt it shift as the other let himself fall on it again.

« Better, » Jinki noted with a satisfied smile that the other didn't catch.

Jonghyun moved to a sitting position, making sure to leave as much space between them as he could.

« What did you want to say? » Jonghyun reminded him as he gave a quick look in his direction.

Jinki's face turned serious. « It was weird... I was just hanging with the guys and... and I just kept thinking about us... about what you said... it was weird... »

« What's weird? » Jonghyun asked, utterly curious.

Jinki blinked at him. « That you're on my mind so much... »

Jonghyun was sure this time that the blush he could feel on his face was very visible. He looked away again, not knowing what to say to that.

« Jjong... » Jinki called out softly. His hand reached the other's cheek instinctively, not really realizing what he was doing.

The blonde jumped slightly as he received the caress. He wanted to pull away, but he couldn't move. Despite feeling overwhelming warm, he was completely frozen into place. Suddenly, his face was turned and he was looking straight into the depths of his dark eyes. His mouth turned dry. He waited, distraught.

« Why aren't you saying anything? » Jinki asked in the same soft tone as he brought his face closer to his.

Jonghyun gulped down some of his nervousness. « I don't know what to say, » he admitted still trying to avert the other's gaze.

« It's okay... »

The distance became almost non-existent between their faces as the brunette brought himself even closer.

Jonghyun could feel his alcohol-scented breath on his lips and felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. He closed his eyes, unable to face him.

And what he had been somewhat expecting actually happened. The other's lips were suddenly on his and he felt himself relax into his touch, not trying in any way to push him away. He sighed between his soft lips as the taller one changed the angle of the kiss, suddenly deepening it. Jonghyun couldn't help the moan that left him as he felt the other's tongue inside his mouth, exploring with uncontained hunger.

The brunette suddenly pulled away as his lungs screamed for air. He was faced with the flushed face of the other one and that didn't help the strange state he seemed to be in.

« Jinki... » Jonghyun was trying to put his thoughts together. « What... why? » There wasn't much more he could say right now.

Jinki let his head rest against the headboard, then closed his eyes. « Don't know... » He sounded tired.

Jonghyun sighed. This was getting much more messed up than expected. He didn't know if he should be asking him to leave or if he should continue to dig for answers.

They stayed in silence for what felt like a very long moment but for what had probably only lasted a few seconds.

« Can I stay the night? » Jinki suddenly asked, his voice so drowsy the blonde caught himself thinking it was cute.

Jonghyun shook his head vigorously. But he couldn't outright tell him no.

« Come on... » Jinki gave him a lazy push on the arm. « I'm tired... » He yawned loudly.

Jonghyun looked at him. Indeed, he looked pretty out of it. He sighed again before getting up. He left the room without warning the other and came back a few minutes later with a sleeping bag and a pillow. By then the other was already softly snoring, apparently having pushed himself down to let his head rest on his own pillows.

Jonghyun pouted. He had wished they could have exchanged a few more words first. Plus he had intended for the brunette to sleep on the floor in the items he had just brought. Jonghyun didn't mull over it much longer. He settled himself in front of his bed and tried to get in some sleep. But once again, he found himself tossing and turning, his head ringing with the sensation left on his lips and the feelings filling up his heart.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

« Mom... » Jonghyun softly called as he stopped in the kitchen.

The petite woman turned around, giving her son a warm smile. « Yes, hun? »

« Could you make some more pancakes? » he shyly asked.

She laughed. « Are you that hungry? »

Jonghyun rubbed the back of his neck, nervous. « Um, no... It's just... there's... there's someone else here. » He had said the last words so fast he wasn't sure she had heard them.

But she did. « What? » She exclaimed as she fully turned towards him.

« Um... yeah... » Jonghyun looked everywhere except at her. « A friend... »

She frowned. «  A girl? »

The blonde shook his head. « No, no, no... He just crashed here 'cause he didn't feel so good... »

« Oh, okay... »

Jonghyun could see she still seemed perplexed. « So about those pancakes...»

« Yes, sure. I'll make more, » she reassured with another warm smile.

He returned her smile. « Thank you. »

He then made his way upstairs again, feeling his heart rate quicken as he reached his door. He wasn't ready to face the other, but at the same time, he couldn't wait to speak to him. He took a deep breath before opening the door. He saw the brunette taking the Tylenols with the water he had left for him on the nightstand.

« How are you feeling? » Jonghyun asked after closing the door.

He was answered with a groan.

Jonghyun made his way to the chair in front of his bureau and sat down.

« Did you sleep well? » He casually asked instead of bringing up the more important stuff he wanted to talk about.

« Yeah... I was pretty knocked out... » Jinki managed to say through the pain of his headache, voice rough with sleep.

Jonghyun could only nod. « Um... my mom is making pancakes so if you're hungry... »

« Pancakes? » The other exclaimed, confused.

« Yeah, every Sunday she makes pancakes... » Jonghyun informed, feeling a little embarrassed.

« Oh, that's cool, » Jinki said with a nod of approval.

They then fell into a heavy silence, only interrupted by the brunette clearing his throat.

Jonghyun allowed himself to look at him. He seemed uneasy as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring himself to.

« What? » Jonghyun finally uttered to put an end to the awkwardness.

Jinki looked straight at him, biting his lip as he realized he couldn't further evade the subject.

« I... I'm sorry for last night, » he finally said. « I was drunk and all... »

Jonghyun slowly nodded, showing he was registering his words. « So... that... it... it didn't mean anything? » he dared to ask even though his heart was menacing to explode at any moment.

« No, it didn't, » Jinki instantly confirmed as he straightened a little more on the bed. He then threw his his legs over the edge of the bed and picked up his jacket. « Maybe I should go, » he suddenly decided.

« But... » Jonghyun wanted to protest, wanted to keep him here a little longer. He could clearly see it was no use as the other had already crossed his door and started going down his stairs. He followed him and soon he found the other standing in front of his mother. He could see the surprise on her face, but she greeted him warmly nonetheless.

« It's been a long time... it's nice to see you, » she expressed genuinely. She then gave a quick look to her son which he averted. 

« Yes, it's nice to see you too Mrs. Kim, » he replied with a wide smile.

Jonghyun could feel him suddenly more relaxed. « Mom, are the pancakes almost ready? » he quickly asked.

« Yeah, there's just a couple more to go, » she indicated as she returned to her task.

Jinki gave Jonghyun an unsettled look. « I think I should be going... my parents must be worried... » he reiterated.

Jonghyun would've laughed if they had been alone. That was the most bull excuse the other could've ever found.

« Half an hour won't make much of a difference now, will it? » His mother chimed in. « I'd rather have you leaving my house with a full stomach. »

Jonghyun uttered a silent thank you to his mother as he took place at the dining table nearby. He watched the other do the same, clearly still trying to find a way out. But his mind seemed to stop working as a pile of pancakes drenched in maple syrup and surrounded by strawberries was placed before him.

Jonghyun tried to contain his smile as the other piqued into his breakfast and took a first bite.

« Oh my god, this is really good! » he exclaimed as he looked at the blonde's mother.

« Thank you, » she replied with a smile.

They ate breakfast in a good atmosphere, Jonghyun's mother mostly catching up with the brunette before they fell into small talk and whatnot.

Finally, Jonghyun was accompanying him to the front door, a little sad that their time together was already over. He didn't understand how he'd become so needy; it was truly frustrating.

Jinki turned around after having put on his shoes. They locked eyes for a few seconds, not saying a word.

« I guess I'll see you around, » he voiced uneasily.

Jonghyun searched his eyes, but still couldn't find the answers that he needed. Did this mean the end?

« Yeah... » He finally uttered, disappointed that things were going to end this way.

Jinki stepped out into the fresh air of the morning and walked away, not looking back once.

Jonghyun shut the door. He made his way back to the kitchen where his mother was now washing the dishes.

She instantly looked at him as she heard him sigh. « What's wrong? » she asked with sudden worry.

« It's nothing... » Jonghyun lied, despite knowing how bad of a liar he was.

« Don't tell me it's nothing when an old friend stays the night, » she disputed.

Jonghyun couldn't really argue with that. « I just don't know what this all means... »

« Well it seems like ever since you decided to sneak out together in Seoul your friendship has rekindled,» she pointed out as she kept up with her cleaning.

« I wish it were that simple, but it isn't... we're not... we're not part of the same world, » he explained.

« I have to disagree. You've always been part of the same world. You've shared lots of years together and even though you grew apart at some point I don't think it's any coincidence that things are picking up between you two again, » she diligently countered.

Once again, Jonghyun couldn't argue with that. He could only sigh.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jonghyun knew nothing would change if he kept on like this. He couldn’t continue to standby and watch the other act as if nothing had happened. He was the one who had made things so complicated between them and if he wasn’t going to own up to it, he’d just have to. That’s why he decided that today was going to be the day. Having caught on with the fact that the other had found himself back in detention (as he had predicted), he decided to hang out at the study room after school.

An hour went by during which he tried to concentrate on his English homework, but couldn’t find enough motivation to finish his essay. He kept looking at the clock as if that would make time go by faster. He was just so nervous at the idea of finally speaking to the other that everything else didn’t matter. After a few more minutes of agonizing, he got up and threw his stuff into his school bag. If he couldn’t concentrate, he’d at least distract himself with some walking. He started roaming through the rows of lockers, trying to shake off some of his jitteriness. Effort that got even harder as the sudden memory of their kiss suddenly hit him again. It had been constantly harassing him over the past week and it literally felt like hell to not be able to talk about it. Even though the other had settled the matter with the excuse of being drunk, Jonghyun couldn’t accept that. He knew people did mindless things when they got drunk, but he didn’t feel like this act was completely mindless. It hadn’t felt that way at all. Or maybe he was just projecting what he felt on the other. Whatever. It didn’t change the fact that it was something that they needed to talk about again.

He finally decided to wait at the brunette’s locker. He then looked at his watch. The other could get out at any moment now.

Okay, Jjong, everything will be fine. Relax. He took a few deep breaths as he closed his eyes before reopening them a few seconds later. He had just heard footsteps and they were getting closer and closer. He was pretty sure it was him. It only took a few more seconds to confirm his thought. He saw the brunette heading towards him, unaware of his presence as his gaze was glued to the ground. The latter finally looked up and froze.

Jonghyun tried to be friendly by giving him a smile, but felt totally ridiculous doing it. He retrieved a neutral expression as the other started moving again.

« What are you doing here? » the taller one asked after having reached him.

« Do I really have to explain? » Jonghyun threw back instantly. He wasn’t here to play games.

Jinki sighed. He then opened his locker and took out the stuff he needed.

It felt like total déjà-vu, the two of them being here together at this hour. Jonghyun was already nostalgic of that time.

« So what did you have in mind? » Jinki inquired as he shut his locker door and put in the lock.

Jonghyun shrugged. « I don’t know… I just want to talk, » he softly expressed.

« Okay, let’s walk home together, » the brunette proposed as he led the way.

Jonghyun followed and just like that, they found themselves walking side by side as they would have a few weeks ago. They shared silence for a while, not even daring to look at each other, just keeping their gazes straight ahead as they got lost in their thoughts.

« How about we get that ice cream? » Jinki suddenly said.

Jonghyun finally looked at him, eyebrow cocked in disbelief. « Seriously? »

« Yeah, we were supposed to so let’s do it, » he casually answered.

Jonghyun didn’t know how he should feel right now. He sure did think it was kind of inappropriate for the moment, but he wasn’t against it. Maybe it would make things less awkward between them.

« Okay… » he agreed.

Once again, they fell into shared silence but fortunately the ice cream parlour the other had in mind wasn’t too far. Soon they were walking out of there with cones filled with two scoops of ice cream and a more relaxed expression on their faces.

« Don’t you get tired of this ? » Jinki asked, referring to the blonde’s never changing taste.

« I don’t know why I should be taking something else when mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best thing ever, » he retorted before taking a first .

Jinki rolled his eyes. « Whatever. »

They were now walking again, not really minding where they were going. The treat was good for their souls and their nerves and this time the silence they shared felt much more comfortable. Like when they had sleepovers and were on the verge of falling asleep.

Jonghyun cherished the present moment, knowing that at any time it could be ruined.

« We could sit there, » Jinki suggested as he pointed to the park a few meters away.

Jonghyun nodded.

They made their way there and found a bench where they sat and finished their ice cream. The awkwardness came right back as they had no more distraction.

« Jinki, I… » Jonghyun paused, not knowing where to start. He didn’t want to scare the other away, but mostly, he didn’t want to get rejected.

« I know what you’re going to say. That I can’t do such stupid things and get away with it, » Jinki guessed. « Well, I’m sorry, » he went on immediately, « I know I shouldn’t have kissed you, it wasn’t right. »

Jonghyun felt a wave of sadness wash over him at those words. « What do you mean? »

« Well you must be disgusted with me, right? » Jinki inquired.

« Did I seem disgusted when you kissed me? » Jonghyun pointed out shyly.

An almost silent Oh left Jinki's lips as he looked at the other’s now much redder face.

« What are you saying, Jjong? » the brunette asked, troubled.

« I don’t know… I’m confused, that’s why I wanted us to talk, » the blonde explained. « Did you really only do it because you were drunk? »

« Maybe, I don’t know… it just felt natural in the moment, » Jinki admitted.

« And were you planning on avoiding me for the rest of your life? » Jonghyun brought up as he felt a pang in his chest.

« No, I… I just didn’t know how to bring it up… I was embarrassed, » he shared.

« I get it, but that’s not fair to me. You keep bailing on me and then I’m the one left to try and figure out what the hell is going, » Jonghyun noted as his anger spiked.

« I know… » Jinki looked down. « I’m not as brave as everyone thinks, huh? » he then joked but his smile immediately fell.

Jonghyun felt sympathy for him in that moment. « Look I get that we aren’t hanging around the same crowd and that you were probably embarrassed to hang out with me again, but- »

« I’m not embarrassed of hanging out with you, » the brunette cut off. « I wouldn’t have dragged you out to explore Seoul with me if I had wanted nothing to do with you, » he then pointed out.

The blonde felt himself blush again. « Alright so why did you start acting weird after our weeks of detention ended? »

« I started feeling guilty about what happened in the past… about how I stopped talking to you, » Jinki shared in a voice so low the wind almost swallowed it.

« I'm not gonna lie, it was hard on me but I got over it. » Jonghyun looked straight at him. ' All that matters to me now is to know if I have to get over it once again? »

Jinki finally looked at him. « That's not what I want... »

Jonghyun felt relieved. « So you want us to be friends again? »

« Yes. » Jinki's voice came out loud and clear.

Jonghyun could feel all the sincerity behind that single word.

He could only hope that sincerity wasn't fleeting. He had let himself hope too much already.

« Okay, » Jonghyun acknowledged.

« I'm really sorry for everything,  Jjong. I was stupid and I think us being in the same room during that field trip wasn't a coincidence. It helped me remember how nice it was to be with you and how much I had missed you, » the brunette let out in a single breath. His cheeks flushed as he let his words sink
in.

Jonghyun had dreamed of hearing those words for so long, but now that he was actually hearing them it was a little too much. He felt his bottom lip quiver and bit it to prevent the overflow of emotions.

Jinki put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly as he understood what the other's silence bore.

« I should get back home now, » Jonghyun said, his voice wavering.

« I'll walk with you,» Jinki indicated.

They then both got up and retrieved their synchronized pace.

Jonghyun felt much lighter now but he was still scared. He was so scared this wouldn't last.

The other seemed to pick up on his thoughts. « I won't screw this up this time. »

Jonghyun blinked a few times, surprised. He couldn't help the laugh that left him afterwards. « I wouldn't trust the words of a troublemaker. »

« Pssh. I'm not that bad, » Jinki unconvincingly disputed.

« Says the one who just got detention again, » the blonde teased.

« Only because I forgot to do a couple of exercises of the math homework, » Jinki defended.

« Yeah for like the millionth time, » Jonghyun countered with another laugh.

And at that moment the brunette did the most unbad boy-ish thing ever; he pouted.

« Well you'll just have to keep reminding me what exercises there is to do. » Jinki settled. « And maybe even help me do those exerci-Ow! » he yelled as the other punched his arm.

« Keep dreaming, » Jonghyun said despite knowing he'd probably give in to helping the other.

« When did you get so mean? » Jinki exclaimed.

« Probably been hanging out too much with you, » Jonghyun retorted.

Jinki's gaze narrowed. « That's low... »

« Apologize, » he then said as he stopped dead in his tracks.

Jonghyun turned to face him. « Seriously? »

« Yeah, » Jinki said with another pout.

Jonghyun's jaw clenched. He hated him for being so cute right now.

« Alright only if you agree to come have pancakes Sunday, » the blonde bargained for his own satisfaction.

« Deal! Those were delicious, » Jinki remarked with a wide smile.

« I apologize, » Jonghyun said nonchalantly.

Jinki gave him an unimpressed look.  « You can do better than that. »

« I'm pretty confident you'll come for the pancakes, so I won't say that again, » Jonghyun decided as he started walking again.

Jinki followed. « Don't be so sure... »

« I don't think it would be a good thing for you to bail on me again, » Jonghyun observed with a smug smile.

The brunette's mouth opened and closed, a good comeback failing to form in his mind. He had been defeated. « Whatever. »

It was only a few more minutes before they reached Jonghyun's house. They stopped in front of it.

« See you tomorrow, Jjong, » Jinki said with a bright smile.

Jonghyun returned it. « Yeah, have a nice evening,' he replied before climbing up the stairs to his front door.

His heart was beating fast inside his chest as he got in and closed the door behind him. Had this all just happened? He wasn't quite sure if he was dreaming or if this was reality.

He felt his phone buzz inside his pocket as he settled into the living room. He unlocked the screen and his lips instantly stretched out into a smile.

« We should buy ourselves some cake next time. ;) » he read.

That brought back all those good times they had stuffed their faces with cake. He was glad the other hadn't forgotten about that.

« I'd love that, » he answered.

Jonghyun watched his screen light up as he got another message. A simple good appeared and he smiled again.

Yes, right now things were good. Right now, he was just going to hold on to the promise of more good times to come.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________