Chapter 4

 

            “Is Lee Sooman really your uncle?”

            Later that evening, Jessica and Sunny went back to the apartment to study and mull over their interesting day.  They sat at the dining table, which was simply a countertop-like partition between the kitchen and living room.  Jessica was swirling around another glass of wine as Sunny scooped some fried rice out onto their plates. 

            “Do you think I lied?” Sunny chuckled.  She glared at Jessica’s wine.  “Jessica, you really shouldn’t drink so much.  It’s illegal and it’s not good for you.  How did you even buy that?”

            “Hey, my parents let me drink at home all the time,” Jessica retorted, taking a sip of her champagne.  “It’s actually good for you to drink a glass every so often.  They brought it for me when they visited last month.  It’s really no big deal.”

            “Tell that to the cops when they arrest you,” Sunny warned, pushing a plate of rice towards Jessica. 

            “You changed the subject, Sunny,” Jessica smirked.  She finally put her glass down and nodded towards it enthusiastically.  “I’ll give up my bubbly if you give me all the details on Lee Sooman.”

            “Fine…”  Sunny played with her rice and grinned.  “He really is my uncle.  It’s strange to think about…And I’m sure it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”

            “Yeah, I really didn’t believe it at first,” Jessica admitted.  “I was going to ask if you were joking, but the look on Tiff…Stephanie’s face really shocked me.”

            “I know…She looked really…hopeful.”

            “She said she was kidding about her request, but she seemed awfully serious,” Jessica suggested, finally taking a bite of her rice.  “Ah, Sunny, this is really good.”

            Sunny took a bite as well, but she wasn’t as thrilled with its taste.  The regretful longing in Stephanie’s eyes glowed brightly in her mind, and she couldn’t get the sight out of her head.  “I wonder why her contract didn’t work out.  It seemed like something she really wanted.”

            “What are the odds that two potential SM Entertainment trainees and the niece of Lee Sooman meet up in the City of Angels,” Jessica laughed quietly.  “I don’t know if I regret rejecting the talent scout…I sometimes wonder what could have happened.  But it looked like Stephanie really wanted that contract.  What could have stopped her?”

            “I’m willing to find out,” Sunny said sternly, her eyes squinted and staring out the window into the bright Los Angeles night.  “You made a good point.  It’s strange that all of us have met this way.  I don’t think my uncle is scouting every Korean person in California.  Maybe we can help each other through whatever regrets we have.”

            “She barely talked the whole day,” Jessica sighed.  “After we got ice cream, I don’t think she said even one word.”

            “For almost a month, the only words we exchanged with each other were ‘Grande mocha latte’ and ‘would you like whipped cream with that?’” Sunny reminded, a bright smile on her face.  “I can’t imagine if we had never grown beyond that.  Jessica, you’ve changed me a lot since we met, and all of it has been for the better!  Don’t you want to take a chance on Stephanie and find out what kind of friendship we’re missing out on?”

            Jessica pouted and played with her rice.  “Yeah…I’d like to help her find a place in this city if she really feels so lost and regretful about that contract.  But, Sunny, you can only make friends with people who are willing to be friends.”

            “That’s right.”  Sunny was unaffected by Jessica’s pessimism, and she took a large bite of rice.  “That’s just something we’ll have to find out!”

            “I suppose so.”  Jessica grinned happily and stared at Sunny.  “Oh, my cute Sunshine, I think we’ve both changed each other for the better.”

            “If you really mean that, stop drinking so much,” Sunny requested, keeping her eyes on her rice.  “You’ll get cirrhosis.”

            Jessica laughed and leaned back in her chair.  “Fine.”

 

*          *          *

 

            It was another busy, chaotic morning at Starbucks on that crisp December day.  Christmas was approaching faster than Stephanie Hwang could anticipate, and she had made more gingerbread and peppermint mocha lattes than she had ever imagined existed.  The Starbucks on Vermont and Wilshire was situated at the front of an office building, and various company employees always stopped in to grab their coffee before work.

            “I ordered a mocha latte with whole milk,” one woman announced heatedly at the drink bar.  She held the cup out to Stephanie and gave a befuddled look.  “Whole milk.”

            Stephanie’s tired eyes filled with worry, and she looked down at the counter on the verge of tears.  “I can remake it.  It will only take a few minutes.”

            “I have to be in my office in a few minutes,” the women insisted, her chin bouncing frightfully with each word.  “What I want to know is why you didn’t use whole milk in the first place.  Don’t you understand English?”

            “Oh, ma’am, she definitely understands English.”

            Both the angry woman and Stephanie turned suddenly to face a daunting and remarkable Jessica Jung standing before them.  Her large sunglasses perched steadily atop her head, and her slender hands rested comfortably in the deep pockets of her beige, wool trench coat.  Her usual pout was more aggressive than usual as she stepped up to the woman.

            “Maybe you should thank the girl,” Jessica suggested with a smirk.  “We’ll all be putting on a few extra pounds over the holidays.  Why add to it with whole fat milk?”

            “Don’t talk to me like that, girl,” the woman scolded.  She forcefully put the latte back on the bar, causing coffee to splash onto the bar and Stephanie’s arms and apron.  Stephanie gasped as she quickly wiped away the scalding liquid.  “Remake it.”

            Before Stephanie could submit to the woman’s request, Jessica swiftly glided over and tightly grasped the woman’s wrist.  “Lady, you’d better get to your office before I make you more late to work than you already are.”

            Yet again, Jessica rendered a paying customer speechless and frightened.  She stood petrified until Jessica finally released her wrist.  After taking what was left of her latte, she hurried out of the store and out of sight.

            “Steph, are you okay?” Jessica asked, her expression still stern and chilling.  “Get your arms under cold water right away.”

            “O-Okay.”

            Though a line of empty cups and impatient customers accumulated in front of the bar, Stephanie stepped over to the sink and began to run cold water over her skin.  She peeked back at the bar and grimaced as Jessica made her way behind the counter and grabbed a wet towel.

            “Where is Woochan and that other guy?” Jessica sighed, wiping up the spilled latte with the towel.  “Isn’t this rush hour for you guys?”

            “Woochan is in the bathroom and Tommy is on his break,” Stephanie informed, rushing to dry her hands.  “Jessica, I don’t think you can be back here.”

            “It’s fine, I know the drill,” Jessica insisted.  She wiped down the messy bar as Stephanie began making drinks again.

            Stephanie worked on a peppermint mocha latte, peeking over at Jessica from time to time.  “Sunny won’t be here until this afternoon.  She doesn’t usually work mornings.”

            “Oh, I know.  I just- Oh?  Sir, do you need something?”

            Jessica shuffled over to the bar and pouted at the grumpy businessman standing on the other side.  He tapped the counter loudly and scowled.  “Lady, I ordered my drink fifteen minutes ago.”

            “Oh?  Hmm, I’m sure it’s coming right away.”  Jessica gave a bright, adorable grin.  “Sir, you shouldn’t act this way.  I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

            The man stared at her with wide eyes.  “Girlfriend?  Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

            “Oh.  That’s interesting.”  Jessica giggled obnoxiously, tilted her head, and gave an enthusiastic wink.  The man smiled bashfully and stepped back from the counter, his angry demeanor completely dissolved.  As soon as Jessica turned back to Stephanie, her bubbly grin became a resentful glower.

            “You didn’t feel like assaulting him or threatening his life?” Stephanie questioned quietly, a small smile emerging on her lips.

            “Trust me, Steph, I would have.  But I don’t want to scare all your customers away.”

            Woochan suddenly entered their workspace and stared at Jessica in confusion.  “Jessica, what are you doing here?”

            “Woochan, you’re a poor shift manager,” Jessica rebuked, slipping her hands into her pockets again.  “Call Timmy back, make a Venti iced water for Tiffany, and send her on a break!”

            As Jessica stormed off, Woochan turned to Stephanie, his mind racing helplessly.  “Who are Timmy and Tiffany?”

            Stephanie laughed and made herself an iced water.  “I’ll tell Tommy to get back to work.  I’m going to take a quick break.”

            After finding Tommy in the back room and beckoning him back to work, Stephanie left the shop and stepped out onto the cold sidewalk.  Frigid air swirled around her along with the many people of Los Angeles, and the iced water in her hands chilled her fingers.

            “Let me take that,” Jessica said, suddenly appearing from behind Stephanie.  If she hadn’t taken the water from Stephanie’s hands, she would have dropped it from fright.

            “You scared me,” Stephanie told shyly, looking at Jessica’s gloved hands.  “Did…Did you want to have that?”

            “No!” Jessica laughed.  She held the drink up to Stephanie’s face and smiled.  “Drink up.  You looked exhausted.”

            Stephanie slowly sipped the water from the straw.  Jessica looked at her as if she were her very own newborn baby.  The feeling amused Stephanie, and she quietly laughed at Jessica’s excited expression.

            “Why are you still waiting around here?” Stephanie asked.

            “I just wanted to talk to you.”  Jessica’s cheeks twitched like they were tired of smiling for more than five minutes, but she seemed to endure it for Stephanie’s sake.  “Sunny and I have both finished our final exams, and we’re looking for another fun thing to do.  That last excursion to the mall was great!”

            A grimace appeared on Jessica’s face for only a moment, but Stephanie could easily tell that she struggled to get those words out.  A shiver went down her spine as she recalled her own strange behavior that day.

            “I’m sorry about how I acted,” Stephanie frowned, looking down at the ground.  “I got a little excited.”

            “Don’t worry about it, Tiff- Stephanie!  Take another sip!”

            The cold water only made Stephanie colder, but she felt more awake and alert.  She smiled at Jessica and took the water back.  “I should get back in there.  Like you said, it is rush hour.”

            “Hold on a minute!” Jessica pleaded, taking Stephanie’s wrist.  “Do you think you can join us for something Christmas-y?  Like, we could go caroling or take pictures with Santa or something!”

            “Christmas…I don’t really like Christmas,” Stephanie admitted coldly.

            “Okay, well…We could do something totally not Christmas-y!”  Jessica pouted and shook Stephanie’s arm.  “Come on, Tiffany!  Don’t you do anything around Christmas time?  A family tradition?”

            Stephanie’s heart skipped a beat, and it felt as if a whole portion of her life had been lost.  It had, it certainly had.  As she looked up at Jessica’s hopeful face, she wanted to cry.  She wanted to step out into the street and be whisked away to the sky by some oncoming car.  Every stranger’s voice surrounding her made her want to scream, and the Christmas sounds, lights, and colors felt like knives digging into her nerves.

            “Why…do you call me Tiffany?”

            Jessica’s mouth fell open and she chuckled bashfully.  “Oh, um, sorry about that.  They’re sort of similar.  Tiffany just keeps popping into my head.”

            “You have a car, right?”

            “Yeah, I do.  Why?”

            “Tomorrow both Sunny and I don’t have to work.”  Her hands were becoming numb, but she didn’t care.  “Will you…Will the two of you visit someone with me?”

            “Of course!” Jessica assured.  “Where will we go?”

            “Just Diamond Bar, my old neighborhood,” Stephanie informed.  “It’s not too long of a drive.”

            “We could be driving to New York City and that would be fine with me,” Jessica grinned happily.  “Sounds good!  I’ll text you.  We’ll pick you up tomorrow whenever you want!”

            “Thank you.”

            “See you later!”

            Stephanie stood on the crowded sidewalk.  Many voices floated by her, but her ears searched for only one.  She listened for that voice for so long, receiving nothing in return.  Her hands were numb, but so was her body.  And her heart.  And her soul.  Everything felt numb.

 

*          *          *

 

            The ride to Diamond Bar was quiet and short.  Jessica tried many times to spark conversation, but Stephanie would hardly say a word.  Sunny eventually put on some music and encouraged the zealous Ice Princess to embrace the lack of dialogue.

            They used the GPS on Jessica’s phone to find their destination.  Stephanie had inputted an address that neither Jessica nor Sunny recognized.  They looked around solemnly as they finally approached a large and beautiful cemetery away from the suburbs.

            “Stephanie…Is this…Is this the place?” Sunny asked with a quiet voice.

            Without words, Stephanie answered her question.  The silent girl in the backseat rubbed her red eyes and nodded.  They pulled up to the parking lot and slowly got out of the car.

            “Stephanie, who-”

            “Jessica…”

            They followed Stephanie to the gift shop near the front gate.  She stepped in for a moment and came out with nine pink roses.  Her demeanor became younger and younger, like that of a scared little girl.  She led them to a grave in a shady corner of the field just under a looming oak tree.  A loving friend, wife and mother.  Jessica read the inscription over and over again, wishing it would change with each glance.

            “Tiffany, is this…”

            “It’s funny that you call me Tiffany,” Stephanie said suddenly, her voice cracking with every other word.  “That’s what my mom used to call me.  It’s what she preferred.”

            Tears fell from Sunny’s eyes as Stephanie let out a few heartbreaking whimpers.  She painfully watched as Stephanie hugged the pink roses tightly and kneeled down before her mother’s grave.

            “Pink was my mother’s favorite color,” she cried, finally placing the flowers in front of the gravestone.  “It was my favorite color for a long time too.  But now…I don’t like colors.  There are no colors in a hospital room.  Everything is blank and dull.  And after you’ve seen that, no color can make anything better.”

            Letting out a long, shaking breath, Sunny kneeled down next to Stephanie and wrapped her arms around her.  Stephanie leaned into her and cried on her shoulder.  Still staring wide-eyed at the colorless grave, Jessica kneeled down next to them.

            “Steph –Tiffany,” she whispered.  She looked down at the roses and took one in her fingers.  “I think that hospital room was filled with color.”

            Stephanie looked up at her with tired red eyes.  “What do you mean?”

            “So much color…Isn’t that who your mother was?”  Jessica sniffled once and looked at Stephanie with teary eyes.  “I’m very sorry I will never be able to meet your mother face to face, but I don’t need to meet her to know her.  Your kindness and gentleness…That tells me who she was.  And that seems like someone who is filled with color.  And colors never die.”  She held the rose out to Stephanie.  “Sometimes we become blind to them, but they’re always all around us.”

            Stephanie took the rose and smiled at it.  “That…That sounds like something she would say.”  She let out another cry and took Jessica’s hand.  “I don’t want to feel alone anymore.”

            “Tiffany, you won’t be alone,” Jessica promised, squeezing Stephanie’s hand tightly.  “We’ve finally…found each other.”

            Stephanie wrapped her arms around Jessica and pressed her tearstained face into the crook of her neck.  Jessica quickly returned the embrace and held her firmly.  Sunny leaned across Stephanie’s back, wrapping her arms around both of them.  They cried together without hesitation.  Their sobs felt like a sad, comforting song with voices in unison.  They were enveloped in color that Stephanie could no longer deny existed.  The scent of the nine roses evaded the thief of the wind and lavished the grey grave with a sweet and beautiful color.