Jimin had a day off and after so much practice for BTS’s new album he decided he would stay inside the dorms and laze around for a change. He slept till late morning and proceeded to lie in his bed, scrolling through his phone. He suddenly moved his gaze to the phone case – it had been sent to him by a.r.m.y and he smiled as he studied the various cute doodles and “BTS Hwaiting!” scribbled in bright colours. He stretched his limbs, slightly grunting from the sensation, which for a brief moment made it look like the blanket was suddenly coming to life. He pulled the never-to-actually-come-alive cover off himself and made his way to the kitchen.

There he fixed himself some cereal plus a banana and then turned to make coffee. The wonderful smell of fresh coffee filled the room and as he watched the liquid drip it strangely hypnotized him for a bit. He contently ate his breakfast and drank his morning coffee while checking his twitter. All the other members were out on different tasks and Jimin started contemplating what he would do that day.

 He got the urge to listen to some music and so he went to the little stereo in the living room and connected his phone to it, picking a random playlist on youtube, seeing as at first glance songs by Chris Brown and Kanye West were in it. Going back in the kitchen to clean after his breakfast he was humming along the tracks and absentmindedly swaying his hips to the rhythm. He went back to the living room and put the rest of his body in action, leisurely moving to the beat. Jimin felt the recent stress surrounding their comeback dwindle and his mind began to unwind, focused only on moving to the beat, not following a particular choreography. He closed his eyes and immersed himself further (fortunately there was enough free space, insuring he wouldn’t bump into something). He was in his own little world, feeling completely comfortable (not to mention how much more comfortable it was to dance in his boxers as opposed to tight leather pants). And suddenly…

My anaconda don’t

My anaconda don’t

My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun

   The song sounded familiar but he definitely couldn’t recognize the artist. It was upbeat and wild and before he knew it his body was moving on its own, putting a lot more emphasis on moving his hips and legs to match the vibe of the song resulting in chest pumps, hip s and body rolls. And when the chorus actually started a new impulse took hold of him- he spread his legs, slightly bent his knees, arched his back, and then let his well-sculpted behind drop, then rise again then drop and the next minute Jimin was twerking like a pro. Having a bit more junk in the trunk, his round booty was sure to have anyone witnessing this fiasco in a trance of marvel. And that was exactly what Jungkook, standing at the door, was in. A trance. His hyung was so busy shaking it, still with his eyes closed and his back to Jungkook (giving him a spectacular view) that he did not notice him at all. Well, at least not until the younger boy began to laugh wholeheartedly.

   Jimin snapped back to reality and turned around dramatically to stare with wide eyes at the laughing-to-the-point-of-snorting-a-time-or-two maknae. He felt his heart beating harder and his face flushing from embarrassment. As Jungkook finally calmed down, still leaning on the doorframe for support, there was moment of awkward eye contact made even more awkward when the eccentric voice of Nicki Minaj pierced the air loudly.

He love this fat *crazy Nicki laugh*

The older turned to punch the off button of the stereo and then there was silence.

‘Hyung, I never knew you had it in you to dance like that. Have you been practicing ever since your performance on American Hustle Life?’  Jungkook teased.

Jimin decided the best thing to do would be to laugh it off. Sure, the members would about it for months but there was no need to act dramatic.

‘Hah, well what can I say, I’m full of surprises.’ said the older boy casually ‘By the way, how long did you stand there for?’

‘Long enough to come to the conclusion that you could join a top twerk team and make some girls insecure.’ the maknae relentlessly continued to tease and started to laugh again at the forever-imprinted mental image of Jimin’s twerking show in his donut-printed boxers.

Jimin sighed in defeat, thinking how this would haunt him. And why did it have to be Jungkook to see him like that? He wanted to be a cool hyung in the mind of the younger but instead he would be a short, twerk queen. He scrunched his face at that thought.

‘Sorry, hyung, I just really wasn’t expecting that when I came home,’ the maknae patted his hyung’s shoulder, knowing that this had been embarrassing for him but still grinning like a five-year-old ‘I bought ice cream, by the way. You want some?’

‘Hmmm… Nah, I’ll pass. ’ Jimin said though he usually found comfort in snacking. For now he felt he wanted some time away from the maknae to regain his pride. ‘I’ll go take a shower.’

   As Jungkook was eating ice cream while reading an article on his laptop, he couldn’t help but feel a jab of guilt. Maybe he shouldn’t have laughed like that. Maybe he should have pretended not to have noticed. Should have just walked away and not have caused a scene. But how composed does a person have to be to have done that. It’s only natural that a boy his age would react like that. And Jimin was his hyung. His sweet forgiving hyung, who could never be mad at him for long. So he decided that he wouldn’t too much about it and surely the older would be okay and acting normal in no time. And so it happened for Jimin. However, Jungkook soon found out that he himself was not okay and could not act normal around his hyung.

   The reason for this being the crystal-clear image of Jimin’s never-seen-before moves, which now stirred an emotion far different from plain amusement. It made Jungkook’s face go hot and he started to feel more embarrassed about the situation than his hyung. Jimin was acting no different than before and was more than grateful for not having his secret known by the other members though he was surprised that the mischievous maknae would stay silent about such a thing. After all, teasing Jimin was his favorite hobby.

   The younger started to appreciate the pretty curve of Jimin’s way more than it should be acceptable. He unwillingly took mental notes of how different pants fit him and soon enough he began to question the normality of all these thoughts and also his own uality. Though actually he has always had a crush on his hyung. It confused him. He liked to regard it as no more than just a result from the war of hormones in his still growing body.

   And so a week had passed since that and each night Jungkook would have trouble falling asleep all due to the countless thoughts about his hyung that would invade his consciousness. Those images consisted of : apologizing to his hyung for making him feel embarrassed, confessing about the unstoppable stream of thoughts about him, completely opening up to the older boy and releasing all the pressure from the past week. And Jimin would listen and would understand him. There would be not a single trace of judgment or ridicule on his face. He would smile and then wrap his arms around him and assure him that everything was okay and that what he was feeling was normal. He would recognize his urges and would rid him from the frustrations. He would help him put his curiosity to rest by allowing him to touch, gaze, and kiss till he was content. These images were so intimate and vivid that the maknae would feel his whole body tingling in response to them. And every time he imagined what kissing his hyung would be like he felt his chest tighten and his stomach doing a somersault. And so Jungkook had difficulty sleeping.

   One particular night he hopped out of bed, got his laptop, and then back under the soft covers he went. He saw the clock display 1:36a.m and he sighed at the prospect of another sleepless night. He liked to read the blogs of fans and study all that made an impression on them. He was very happy to stumble across blogs dedicated to him. Each time it motivated him to work harder and do his best in every situation.

   Going through various blogs (one of which was dedicated to pictures of each members’ hands), Jungkook suddenly came across one in particular that caught his full attention and had him chuckling. It was dedicated specifically to posting pictures of Jimin’s undeniably glorious .

‘So it’s not just me’ he jokingly thought.

He couldn’t help scrolling down and thinking about how some people from different parts of the planet took time out of their day to cut parts of videos at the exact right moment to post about a boy’s . How strange we humans are.

Of course, pictures and GIFs couldn’t compare with the real deal but this was easily accessible and provided anonymity. And Jungkook appreciated that. It’s not like he could just stare at Jimin’s whenever he came by.

‘Ugh, I feel like a ’ the boy covered his face with his hands ‘but why does Jimin hyung have to be so handsome?’

Sure, he would always tease his hyung about his height and such but deep down he has always thought that Jimin’s smile was the brightest, especially combined with his eye smile. And he has always been there for the youngest to listen to his worries before a performance. And Jungkook realized he loved being close to Jimin. But he wished they were closer. He wished he could be intimate with his hyung. He wished he could claim his mind and body as his.

I want you to be mine

And wow to think that he needed to see his hyung twerk and therefore have a reason to have perpetual thoughts about him to realize his feelings, he almost felt stupid to not have realized it before. But now he understood his feelings and that brought him some comfort.

And then a painful thought crossed his mind. Jimin hyung doesn’t feel the same way.

Some would disagree, seeing as Jimin constantly tells how cute the maknae is and how he wants to go on holiday with him and his overall kohai-notice-me vibe. But Jungkook knows that he is just joking around. His behavior suggests nothing but brotherly affection. So is it even possible to make his hyung see him as a potential partner? Could he do something to make his hyung’s brain go through the same metamorphosis that his did? And in what universe does Jungkook know the way to achieve that?

Even once… If I could just feel what it’s like to feel his lips on mine once… What then? Would I be satisfied? No… maybe for a brief moment… and then I’d want more.

The boy kept pondering over two ideologies. Is it better to love once and then be bound to the memory or is it better to have never loved in the beginning so that nothing keeps you bound? Which would be more painful? Which one would be worth the consequences?

Jungkook stood still for about half an hour while an apocalypse was storming inside his head. All these voices of need, loneliness, caution, fear, and a dozen more were chanting their opinion almost in union and from those only one was to be listened to.

Suddenly the maknae stood up from his bed and went out to the narrow hallway. It was like a force outside of himself was willing him to move. From there he slowly made his way towards Jimin’s bedroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. His heart was beginning to beat harder and he felt warmth in his stomach. He silently opened the door, still glad that his hyung was a heavy sleeper, and then closed the door behind him.

   The night bore a full moon high in its dark starry sky and the blinds of the window allowed silver light to pour into the room. Jungkook made his way to the sleeping form of his hyung and crouched near the head of the bed.

Hehe, hyung looks so cute.

He leaned his head closer to the angel-like face and carefully traced all of its features with his eyes. His gaze stopped at the lips, which were as plump as always and just slightly parted.

Jungkook gazed at them and a swarm of questions filled his mind, fueled by curiosity.

How would it feel to kiss him? Would he wake up? Is he really as heavy of a sleeper as I am used to thinking? Would I be able to turn back after this? Can’t I just ask him sometime and think of a believable excuse if he refuses? What actually would happen if he wakes up? Would he get mad? Would he be disgusted? Would he… kiss me back?

And all of sudden all thoughts diminished. And from all the voices from before one stood loud amongst the others.

 The voice of the heart spoke.

And Jungkook listened.

He carefully scooped himself on the little space of the bed facing his hyung, their faces level. And having made up his mind, he inched closer to gently press his lips against Jimin’s. The maknae’s stomach now felt hot and tingly. It felt like he had eaten fireworks and with the kiss a spark had set them firing through his body.

They feel so soft and warm

The boy pulled back, going still and anticipating any signs that his hyung was waking up.

None

Maybe just one more

He leaned in again, feeling Jimin’s relaxed breathing, and very lightly brushed their lips against each other. It felt like low-voltage electricity sparked between them. He gasped lightly and locked their lips , feeling like he would never be able to get enough of this feeling.

I want to touch him… but that is too risky. Not to mention even more privacy-invading than what I am doing now.

He shifted lightly on the bed and listened to the sound of the soft breathing from the sleeping beauty in front of him. He then couldn’t stop himself from planting silent pecks on the cheeks, forehead, chin, and nose of the sleeping angel.

This is so exhilarating and at the same time excruciating… I want to feel him kiss me back. I want to tell him how much he means to me. I don’t think I can endure penting up my feelings for long. I can’t…

He rose a bit from his position, put a hand on Jimin’s shoulder and started to gently shake him.

‘Hyung,’ he felt it was hard to breathe and his voice came out as a shaky whimper ‘Jimin hyung’

And then he heard the other’s breathing quicken, his arms moved under the covers, his face scrunched and then relaxed again, followed by a sigh and then those beautiful almond-shaped eyes opened to reveal dark glistening marbles.

‘Hyung’

‘Jungkookie, wha- ’ confused, Jimin wondered what was happening before his brain could realize the situation.

Jungkook was passionately pressing his lips to Jimin’s. He stayed like that for a bit before he started to engage their lips in something like a dance, while one of his hands lovingly caressed his cheek. But before Jimin could react to the unexpected kiss the younger pulled away, burying his face in the crook of his hyung’s neck and wrapping his arms around his broad chest.

‘Hyung, oh’ his voice was shaky and desperate ‘I’m so sorry, I’m- oh, god…’ He sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

‘Jungkookie ah, what happened? What’s wrong?’ Jimin worriedly asked. The kiss was still at the back of his mind, but finding out what caused his sweet Kookie distress was what mattered the most at that moment. He moved his hands to embrace and comfort his dongsaeng.

He waited until the younger calmed down before asking again ‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s me,’ the maknae raised his head and his eyes were lidded, lovingly gazing at his hyung through his long lashes ‘I’ve been so frustrated recently because I can’t cope with the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you and how I want us to be more than just friends.’

Jimin listened and wondered if he was dreaming all of this.

 But that kiss… it can’t be a dream.

‘And I so wanted to kiss you that I-’ for a second he seemed to have lost the ability to speak ‘I’m really sorry, hyung. I understand if you are mad. You have every right to be. I just didn’t know how to deal with my feelings.’

‘I’m not mad, Kookie. I could never be mad about such a thing’ the older reassured, his voice slightly raspy from sleeping ‘Why are you so ashamed of your feelings?’

Jungkook felt himself relax a bit, seeing as his hyung was so understanding ‘. Because I selfishly acted without your consent. Because I don’t want you to grow distant from me because of this. And because I know it’s wrong to have these thoughts about you. ’

Suddenly the maknae felt Jimin’s hands gently wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer ‘Didn’t you consider even for a second that I may also share these “wrong” feelings for you’ chuckling, he slowly brought their lips together.

This is it… Now there is no turning back. Everything I am of this moment on is his for the taking. My heart could never settle for anyone else.

If the first one-sided kiss had set off fireworks then this one had the force of dynamite.

Eyes closed. Lips moving passionately against each other. Hearts racing. Both boys lost touch with the real world, feeling only the other's warm embrace.

‘And to think, I believed that I would only be able to kiss you in my dreams’ Jimin whispered, burying his face in the younger's chest, taking in his scent and smiling.

‘Hyung, how long have you had these feelings?’

‘Since like, oh i don't know... ever since we met.’

‘Wha-, and you kept it a secret all this time?’ Jungkook couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for him.

‘Well, I really don't think i did a great job with the whole secrecy thing,’ the older male admitted ‘might as well have worn a t-shirt with glowing letters that said: I ADORE JUNGKOOK. I think the guys suspect it. Though you sure seem surprised.’

The maknae smiled ‘I always thought all those remarks were just you joking or teasing me.’

Jimin raised his head to look at the boy in his bed ‘So Jungkookie, are you serious about this? Because I really like you.’

Jungkook nodded ‘I am. I want us to be together.’ Then he leaned in to seal his confession with another sweet kiss. To mark it as a promise.

Jimin's heart fluttered with happiness and his brain barely functioned properly due to the overwhelming sensory information.

For so long have I imagened this moment but, god, nothing can compare to this.

The two boys slowly broke the kiss and simply gazed at each other in the pool of moon light on the bed. With cheeks slightly blushing, eyes lidded and pheromone-high brains, both boys smiled in a shared pact of affection.

Soon sleep covered them with its veil, bidding their eyelids heavy. Outside the night was quiet and the tranquil moon still hung high, observing all, perceiving none. That night, for the two boys, the stars had aligned.