[A/n. Even though this was a dream, I can't actually take a lot of credit for the character basis behind Chen. THAt happens to go to my good friend @MyNameIsKris. If you like this story, then you might be in for a few surprises from us later on~ ;) thank you for the support.]

Pro tem

Temporary.

They spend hours together. After a nice dinner and chatting animatedly, catching up, they take things one step further. It’s early evening and Yifan decides to live a little. Law school had robbed him of the chance to have fun in life. He’d missed just letting go like this. So, it’s no surprise when Yifan is the one to suggest karaoke. Jongdae laughs at him but, by now, after spending hours chatting, he fully understands all the hard work the man put himself through. He recognizes that Yifan just needs some time to breathe. Besides that, neither one of them want to put a halt on the good vibe they’ve got going, so they agree to go.

Jongdae sings his heart out and Yifan acts like an idiot. They laugh so hard that tears form and yes, there’s soju involved in the mix. At one point, Jongdae chooses to sing a ballad and the normally fairly impassive Yifan breaks down like a baby. Emotions run high throughout the evening in general, some happy, some lingering and sad. They hold onto each other, smiling through their tears as they both sing songs that bring back wonderful but painful memories.

A couple of bottles of soju later, the boys are pleasantly buzzed. After taking a taxi back, they stand outside in the crisp autumn air, trying their best not to wake the neighbors with their boisterousness. They’ve reached Yifan’s hotel now, his temporary home, and they’re both reminded of that fact; it’s temporary. Jongdae sighs, his happy smile turning melancholy at the impending parting. He’s not alone in thinking this way. Who knew when they’d next get a chance to see each other again? Patting Yifan on the shoulder, he gives the man his best champion smile but Yifan can see the struggle. “It’s great to see you again, Yifan. Truly.” the sentence ends with another soft sigh, as if he doesn’t want Yifan to hear it. He does hear though. He knows this feeling because he can feel it too.

“Yeah, it was a great time…” he begins. Suddenly, his arms are full of Jongdae. The man presses impossibly close and Yifan allows the affection, his heart hammering in his chest. His smile is sad as he rubs the his back. The hammering in Yifan’s chest turns painful. He has an impending sense of doom, like his heart is going to absolutely shatter into a million pieces in the next second. The prophecy comes to a head. It’s only then that he can recognize it, the soft patch of dampness on his shoulder. Jongdae is crying.

The first thing Yifan can feel is panic. His former leader instincts kick in with a vengeance and suddenly, it’s the most important thing in his life. He has to make Jongdae feel better, he wants to, there is no other option. His arms tighten instinctively and he struggles to hold back his own waterworks. “Jongdae...please.” he coos, wishing beyond anything that the reason his friend is crying isn’t because of him, but he knows better. He has to leave now and there’s no sugar coating that.

“I’m sorry.” he says, but he’s not even sure what he’s apologizing for. Maybe it’s for leaving SM, for leaving Jongdae, for putting himself first, or for waiting so long to connect again. The excuses are endless but he could have done better and, right now, he hates himself for that. “Please, don’t cry...or...say something.” he begs the other man. He needs to make this better. His voice seems to at least help a little, Jongdae’s shoulders stop shaking and he gently pulls back to glance at his friend in the face.

Yifan has never felt more like he’s just been kicked swiftly in the stomach. He feels sick, angry with himself, angry with SM,  and hurt for Jongdae. It hits all at once. leaving him dizzy. His jaw goes slack and his eyes well up with tears instantly. Jongdae will probably never admit it, but Yifan can see. He can see all he needs to. This proves that the other man is not remotely okay, and that’s partially his fault. He bites onto his suddenly trembling lower lip, struggling to find the words. “You don’t have to say it….You don’t. I’m-” his voice cracks. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Jongdae.”

The singer sniffles and shakes his head. “Don’t.” It’s the first thing he’s said since, but it’s more than enough. The bitter tone slices through Yifan’s heart like a knife through butter. Jongdae is quiet for a bit longer, staring at something obviously fascinating on the ground, avoiding eye contact entirely. When he does finally glance back up, Yifan can see something he certainly didn’t expect; resolution, tinted with something else. It takes the former leader’s breath away. He’s only just now realized he’s still holding onto the other man. “Before you go…” Jongdae murmurs, leaning in closer, and Yifan can feel his heart sinking.

“No...it’s- this is not a good idea….” he tries, but the other man is intent. His eyes lock onto Yifan’s and he’s practically pleading. They both know better. They’re being irrational, impulsive, there’s alcohol in their systems, but it seems like suddenly they both don’t care. Yifan barely recognizes the tone of his own voice. “You have to go…” he says, but the words carry little emphasis as they trail off dreamily.

“I have to go.” Jongdae agrees, but he’s not moving an inch either. His own voice sounds far away, a step or two lower than usual. It takes two seconds after that. They move simultaneously, Yifan pulling and Jongdae pushing himself closer. Their lips connect in a violent and unforgiving manner. They’re still outside, on the empty street, anyone could come by but they can no longer be bothered to care. Passion explodes as if a waiting pile of drywood had just been tossed a match. Jongdae presses himself closer, now flush against Yifan and the other man lets out the most pitiful sound of need he’s ever uttered.

This is a horrible idea, disastrous even, but neither of them seem to want to dwell on the glaringly obvious cons. Right now, for two starved individuals, the pros far outweigh the repercussions. Heat, fire, and lust come to life, blossoming beneath their skin, spreading deep into the core. Jongdae grips at Yifan’s jacket tightly, as if he wants nothing more than for the damn thing to be off and the other man has to remind himself that they are indeed outside...on a street….not a bed. He’s never felt this strong of an attraction to one s