Excerpts that never made it into Stereo Soldier. Enjoy. 

P.S. I was supposed to put it up yesterday but totally forgot about it. TT_TT I'm getting old. 

I.

“Wendy, why does Nicki Minaj have to have buns for snakes to appear?

Wendy nearly spat out the water she was drinking across the table, her eyebrows flying up to her hairline as she stared at Irene incredulously. The robot was looking at her innocently, her fingers tight around the tablet Wendy had gotten for her earlier this week, the tinny sounds of Nicki Minaj’s song blaring through the speakers. Narrowing her eyes, she wordlessly held out her hand, Irene passing over the tablet, her eyes still questioning.

Wendy glared at the (in her opinion) offensive video and closed the tab immediately, feeling relieved when Sir Mix A Lot stopped yelling at her about his anaconda and buns. She sighed and pursed her lips at Irene, a fond look taking over her face as the brunette continued to stare at her, blue eyes shining.

“You don’t need to know. Who showed you that video anyways?”

Irene grinned, bounding over to Wendy.

“Seulgi! Seulgi said that Irene should educate on popular pop music because Wendy likes pop music!”

Wendy felt her eyebrow twitch and she resisted the urge to pick up the phone to yell at Seulgi. Placing a hand on Irene’s back, she steered the robot to the living room, placing the tablet down on the table.

“Come on, I’ll show you what real music is.”

“Okay! But Irene still doesn’t get why snakes would appear when Nicki Minaj has bread.”

“And you don’t need to know.”

“Okay. If Wendy says so.”

*

“Wendy! You’re home!”

Wendy pulled off her stilettos and stared at the worn pair of Converse by her door, smiling at the welcoming Irene gently.

“I’m home. Do we have a guest?”

Irene nodded happily, fingers wrapping around both of Wendy’s wrists and tugging her over to the living room.

“Seulgi came to visit! Irene did as Wendy taught, Irene gave Seulgi a drink and asked Seulgi to be at home in Wendy’s house!”

Chuckling, she pulled a hand free to pat Irene on the cheek, the brunette leaning into the touch and nuzzling, acting more like a puppy than a fully functional robot. She leant in close and kissed Irene on the nose, a new development between them but something Irene seemed to appreciate a lot, the robot giggling and rubbing their noses together.

A fake cough rang out, Wendy turning to see Seulgi smirking at her, her friend lounging on the couch with her legs dangling over the armrest.

Wendy gave her a blank stare.

“You.”

Seulgi’s smirk grew wider when Irene pressed close to Wendy, Wendy’s mouth pulling into a scowl at the teasing glint in her eyes.

“Yep. Me. Just hanging around and witnessing vomit inducing moments.”

Wendy could feel a vein throb in her temple and she smiled menacingly, Seulgi completely unaffected by it.

“Well, you’re free to remove yourself from our presence.”

Irene made a noise of displeasure and tugged on Wendy’s hand, her head shaking wildly.

“No! Don’t make Seulgi leave, Seulgi was teaching Irene about pop culture!”

Wendy caught the sudden change in Seulgi’s expression and she questioned Irene suspiciously, directing a glare towards her friend, Seulgi looking away nervously and whistling.

“Oh? And what did she teach you?”

Irene, bless her little robot soul, quipped excitedly, Wendy’s blood pressure rising with every word she said.

“Today, Seulgi showed me the video called Pour It Up. And another one called Animals? It was by a five maroon coloured band. Oh! And Seulgi said that the book about fifty grey shades was a literary wonder and that Irene should read it when Irene has free time!”

Wendy heaved out a huge breath and forced a wide smile on her face, Seulgi already edging away from the sofa slowly, aware of the lasers Wendy was shooting from her eyes.

(Later, when asked, Seulgi swore upside down that Wendy had smoke coming out from her ears as well.)

“Oh, did she now? What else did she say was important about pop culture?”

“Seulgi had a list of movies Seulgi wanted Irene to watch but Irene told Seulgi that Irene had to ask Wendy first. Because Wendy said so before, remember? But Seulgi said that the horror story of Americans was really good and asked for Irene to watch it later.”

Wendy caught Seulgi by the collar as her friend crawled past her, her eyes wide and her smile terrifying as Seulgi squeaked in fright.

“Anything else?”

Irene swung their intertwined hands lightly and hummed her answer.

“Yes! Seulgi asked Irene to ask about the love making in that Pretty Woman movie when Wendy got home!”

Her patience snapped and she grabbed Seulgi by the neck, shaking her best friend roughly as she yelled at the other woman for trying to corrupt Irene.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing, stupid bear!?”

Seulgi answered the best that she could, her head whipping back and forth like a demented bobble head.

“I was- I was teaching-”

“That was not teaching! Stop filling Irene’s memory banks with those useless things! I still haven’t killed you for showing her that Anaconda music video!”

“She-She’s an adult! She should- She should know these things!”

“Don’t corrupt my Irene!”

Irene’s fingers curled on her shirt and the robot spoke up, her face scrunched up in worry as Wendy continued in her attempts to detach Seulgi’s head from her neck.

“Wendy shouldn’t grab Seulgi. Seulgi might die.”

Wendy shouted loudly.

“Good! Then maybe she’ll stop showing you stupid things!”

Seulgi croaked helplessly, her face turning pale.

“Irene- Irene, help!”

Irene looked between her and Wendy, the engineer scowling at Seulgi but her movements were slowing due to fatigue, Irene nodding resolutely and folded her arms, her eyes shining as she started to access her net system.

“Irene will help. Does Wendy want Irene to find a place to bury Seulgi’s body when Seulgi’s head comes off?”

“Yes, please. Somewhere discreet. And where nobody goes.”

“Irene has found three places, the nearest is twenty minutes by car.”

Seulgi’s eyes bulged in shock.

“I’M THE ONE CORRUPTING HER? YOU’RE THE ONE CORRUPTING HER, HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT HELPING?”

“SHE’S MY ROBOT, OF COURSE SHE’S GOING TO HELP ME DISPOSE OF YOUR BODY-”

“THIS IS A FELONY! CLASS A FELONY I TELL YOU!”

“Only if Wendy gets caught. Irene will make sure that doesn’t happen because Wendy is a good person.”

“WHAT- IRENE, THIS IS NOT GOOD, THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF GOOD-”

“SHUT UP, STUPID BEAR!”

II.

“So, have you ever given Wendy a kiss?”

Irene blinked at JiYeon, the scientist smirking at her while she rested her chin on her hand. Looking around, Irene found that they were the only people (and robot) in the rest area Wendy had placed her in and concluded that the question was directed at her. She opened and answered mechanically, still uncomfortable around new people.

“Kiss; a touch with the lips as a sign of love, ual desire, reverence, or greeting.”

She frowned and shook her head, JiYeon raising her eyebrow with interest.

“No, Irene has never given Wendy a kiss. But Wendy touches her lips to Irene’s face a lot. Is that the same thing, Wendy’s friend?”

JiYeon chuckled and pressed her fingers to her lips, humming amusedly.

“So Wendy gives you kisses then?”

“Kiss; a touch with the lips as a sign of-”

“Yes, that. She kisses you a lot?”

Irene furrowed her brow and sorted through her memory files, beaming at JiYeon when she found many instances.

“Yes! Usually when Irene greets her at the door or when Irene wakes her up in the morning! Sometimes, when Wendy brings Irene out and Irene finds new things for Wendy to see as well!”

She felt a tremendous joy well up inside her and Irene kicked out her legs, grinning at Wendy’s friend as she recalled the fond way Wendy would look at her before pressing her lips to Irene’s cheek, nose, temple, always softly and reverently, eyes always trained on Irene. She nodded happily to herself, tilting her head to listen to JiYeon’s next sentence.

“But you don’t give her kisses?”

Her legs slowed, Irene pursing her lips and shaking her head.

“Wendy does it. Irene does not do it.”

JiYeon’s smirk turned into something devious, Irene staring at it curiously before leaning in when the other woman gestured for her to do so, listening to her low whisper intently.

“Well, the next time, you should...”

Irene took in her words and nodded along, agreeing with JiYeon’s plan easily.

Especially if it would make Wendy smile that squishy smile.

*

Irene bounced on the balls of her feet, her system feeling as though the wires had been twisted with that blender Wendy used to make her fruit juices in the morning, her hands wringing in front of her as she waited for Wendy to exit the bathroom. She sniffed, replaying the video of JiYeon’s suggestion over and over again, memorising the steps so she wouldn’t mess up and whined petulantly when Wendy still hasn’t exited the bathroom, wondering why is it that today of all days, Wendy decided to take longer to clean herself.

Her expression quickly brightened when the door opened slowly, Wendy walking out of the bathroom whistling as she dried her hair. Pumping her fist in the air like she had seen Wendy do before to give herself some encouragement, she skipped over to the brunette, Wendy raising an eyebrow at her, her eyes filled with laughter.

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