Chapter 12:  New School

Kimhan Burnaphan

Anger added fuel to the fire, frustration was what bothering me yet irritation had successfully crept under my skin that those strong assorted feelings empowered my whole form. I lost to them until it reached the point I was losing my wise judgement. Whatever the things I had done to Pie was totally unforgivable. I shouldn’t have done that; I was close to domestic violence and Pie could always charge me for my ruthless deed. What have I done? I must have scared her away and she must hate me more since then.

I forgot that I was dealing with a person, a fragile woman to be exact. I wasn’t dealing with creature of logic but creature of emotion. Of all the things I have put her through, the previous careless deed of mine was one I regretted the most. I would pay for all cost to rewind the time unfortunately none of the force could ever brought me back to that point. I could never undo the mistake yet I could never erase the bad impression she had on me. I had imprinted her vulnerable soul with a negative image of me. I had become a beast, the spouse she would hated for the rest of her life.

The last shreds of sunlight had vanished from the sky. It was getting darker and we were not yet closer to reach home. Pie managed to convince Aunty Inn that she needed to get back and doubled check for what she needed before she moved to her new school tomorrow. However, I knew best that she was just trying to avoid the stay for the night or most importantly, she attempted to avoid me.

The pitiful creature was fast asleep right at the passenger side. Her head leaned against the window while she hugged herself in protective manner. Although we were separated by the seats, Pie would make sure that she was seated far enough, creating a large distance between us as if I was an infectious disease. I doubted that she ever wanted to get close to me anymore, what more trying to be my friend. Great, just great; I ruined the golden opportunity we had to make things better between us. Pie Mindara wasn’t going to loosen up neither take the risk to let her guard down just to be nice to me. I was losing her and she would drift away from me.

Pie Mindara Manaying, the woman whom I married to was a complex creature, as complicated as what a woman was born to be. She always had the look in her eyes that I couldn’t decipher yet she always showed the signs I couldn’t resolve. Once, she seemed fine but the next second, her mood would swing like mad hurricane. When I thought that I could go through a day without argument, the plot twisted in a way I had never wished it to be. We would always end up in argument and sometimes the causes were only a silly matter. People said the arguments you had in your marriage life would bring you closer to your spouse. I figured out it wasn’t working for the both of us. It only drifted us apart and the gap between Pie and I were even getting bigger. Pie would find anything even the tiniest detail to add the hatred she had on me. I never understood her intention of doing so. It was understandable that she built walls around her instead of bridges but why did she need to teach herself to hate me?

I wasn’t aware that I was in a deep thought until a soft murmur from Pie startled me. Glancing to my side, I saw Pie stirred in her sleep, looking restless and conflicted. Her eyebrows furrowed, followed by unclear spoken mumbles. Judging from the contortion of her face, I presumed that she was having a dream or better to tell a nightmare. I wanted to wake her up but then, I was afraid that she might misunderstand my intention. Pie didn’t want me to touch her. No physical contacts were allowed without her approval. Maybe I should just call her. At least, she wouldn’t get trapped in her dreamland.

            “Pie, wake up,” It only took once when she suddenly twisted and faced me, arching her eyebrows up in question. Looking sleepy, she rubbed her eyes with her hands, pouting at me just like a child who refused to get up in the morning. Childish.

            “What?” She grumbled. Then as if a wave of remembrance struck into her mind, she frowned at me, gazing right into my eyes with that familiar hatred look. She repositioned herself to a better sitting position. With both of her arms pressed across her chest, she tore her gaze away avoiding the eye contact we held immediately.

            “You were talking in your sleep,” Only her body language reacted to it. From the corner of my eye, I caught gaped once as if she wanted to recoil at the thing I told her but then, she never said anything about it. Pie slumped back to seat, a sigh involuntarily escaped from her parted lips. I presumed whatever I was guessing was true; she was having a bad dream.

Then the silence enveloped us again. Pie was so deep in her moment of contemplation. Her gaze was blank yet her mind flown away to nowhere she cared. This sight of her terrified me. I disliked the idea of seeing Pie, brooding about anything that made her unhappy. She had suffered enough since we got married and I nearly met my blunt end to make thing right for her again because I honestly didn’t know what I could do to return the smile to her face like she used to be.

Perhaps I should give it a try. “Pie,” She didn’t react to me when I called her. “Pie, I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean it,” My apology caused her to scoff, loud enough that I knew she inserted the element of mockery in it.

Tilting her head to a side, she gave me a look, “You can’t change the fact that I’ve already seen the other side of you,” She said. “Tell you what? I’m not surprised if more of ‘violence’ is yet to come in the future. That’s who you are,” Pie air quoted the ‘violence’ for purpose. The absentminded assumptions she made caused my blood temperature to elevate. However, I couldn’t prevent her from thinking in such way. Right, she was going to remember a single mistake I did and it would always resurface whenever we slipped into argument. It served you right Kimhan. You deserved the consequences of your careless act.

            “It won’t happen again. I promise.” The sense in my mind told me to calm down. Fire and fire would not make the resentment any better. I needed to cool down and keep everything at bay before those fires of vexation burnt the house down. I had to be the sane one. Angry person was not always wise.

Pie shook her head, declining everything she heard from me. She would not buy it, never. “Don’t promise me anything, Kimhan. Prove it.” Her every word was a piece of ice, thrown out carelessly to my direction with an aim to bite. She made me flinched.

            “Pie…”

            “Enough Kimhan.” She cut me. “I’ll move out from your place starting tomorrow and you can have the space all to yourself,” Pie said, playing with her hands while looking conflicted. She peeked up at my face momentarily before she ran her gaze away from me again.

            “Pie, you know you can always stay with me,” There was sudden tugging feel crept deep to the core of my heart. It pained me that the feeling was indescribable. Maybe my heart was aching.

            “I’ll file the divorce as soon as possible,” Those words accompanied by the look in Pie’s face struck me to my utmost dumbfounded state. I could not even breathe let alone speak for a brief moment. What had gone wrong with me? I faced no problem whenever I brought up this divorce matter to her previously but why it affected me this way now?

Pie stared at me, anticipating any words on my behalf upon the matter. “Right, whenever you’re ready,” I nodded awkwardly. “It’s your decision,”

*******

Pie locked herself in her room the whole night, not wanting to see me neither came out to have her dinner even though I had offered her one. Throughout the days I had been living with her, I learned that Pie always needed to stay full before she turned to be grumpy. I could not leave her starving or her temperament would flip tremendously. I found it amusing and cute at the same time. Feed Pie well or you are going to hell.

My whole form was aching and somehow it prevented me from sleeping. The images of the two bastards kept displaying in my mind, causing me to burn with resentment. Mike and Golf, the twin brothers were never my friends. They were enemies and surprise, surprise they were Yam’s step brothers. Yes. They were related to Yam in such a way no one could believe. Yam’s late father happened to marry their mother and there it went; they are step-siblings.

Speaking of which brought my mind to Yam who was missing without trace. It has been a month and she was still nowhere to be found. My instinct told me that both Mike and Golf had something to do with her sudden missing. They were the main suspects in this mystery yet no one could charge them due to the lack of evidence. I knew she’s still alive. I could sense it.

 The only problem was we had no clue of where she had gone to. The search was nearly impossible just because she left nothing to be traced. The police informed me that the search was called off this morning. They had come to a decision to stop the mission and it was the very reason I grew frustrated. I was losing the hope to find Yam. Soon, the case would be closed and Yam would be declared dead.

It was late in night when my body finally gave in to sleepiness. Tomorrow I had to drive Pie to her new school and I also needed rest.  I made myself comfortable under the duvet, cocooning myself carefully before the cold bit me to my bone. Due to its geographical surrounding, the temperature would drop at night that you did not even need the air conditioner to keep you cool. Its natural cool breeze was enough to make you freeze the whole night until the next morning.

Pie.

The thought of my so called wife electrocuted my brain to life again. Fine, I would just check for her again before I drifted to my dreamland. I had to lift up my body with a huge amount of efforts. Maybe I broke a bone or two. How could Aunty Inn so sure that I didn’t? The moment I pulled the doorknob and the door was wide open I spotted a figure at the hallway, freezing on her feet, looking startled as I did. Pie had a cup of hot drink in her right hand while the other free hand was holding a few packets of cracker. Not only that, I noticed she had a toast securely held by her teeth. Wow, I didn’t know she would have those for supper?

            “Are you hungry? I can cook something for you,” I closed the door behind me then, approaching her as fast as I could before she avoided me.

Pie shook her head almost immediately. No? She was not hungry but had all those crackers and toast?

            “Okay,” I wanted to laugh but I chose not to. “Let me help you,” Pie didn’t protest a thing when I hurriedly helped her to open the bedroom’s door. She trailed after me at a safe distance. Holding the door wide open, Pie walked inside almost reacting awkwardly as what her face expressed. She placed the food she took with her on the desk before turning slowly to face me.

            “I’ll just get back to sleep,” The coldness of her stare sent chills down my spine. I was trying to be nice to her, why couldn’t she return the same?

Pie nodded mutely at me managing a deadpan expression as she walked to my direction. I froze there, not knowing how to react when she held the other side of the doorknob.

            “Do you need me to you to your room?” She asked, beckoning with her lips to the direction of my bedroom. The silly grin appeared on my face as a dreadful feeling crept into me in a very nonsense way. It was not an offer. It was a warning, telling me to get out of her sight as soon as possible.

            “It’s a very nice of you but thanks I can walk there by myself,” My voice was shaking that I didn’t even notice I was faking a laugh. Still with the coldness in her gaze, Pie beckoned with a hand, instructing me to step backward before she slammed the door in my face.

I did as what had been asked.

            “Pie, just a sec,” I was lucky because she was listening. Pie held the door ajar waiting for me to say anything I wanted to tell her while peeping through the small gap.

            “We should head early tomorrow,” Pie seemed to ponder somethin