opia.

n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable—their pupils glittering, bottomless and opaque —as if you were peering through a hole in the door of a house, able to tell there's someone standing there, but unable to tell if you're looking in or looking out.

If you'd ask Jungkook what he wanted to be in the future disregarding finances and other obstacles, he'd tell you a doctor, but that's just what his mother wanted him to say and not how he truly felt. Just like every other aspect of his life, his future was controlled by his mother and the rich family that she had married into two months prior. He had no say in what he wanted or how he felt. The boy's feelings were simply ignored by his mother and his new family. In order for things to ruin smoothly for his mother Jungkook had to hide every little secret he held in his cramped mind.

    Regardless of the things he heard or saw, he was sworn to silence with the promise of a new life, which in his opinion didn't sound all that bad since he was raised in America and loved the idea of getting away, escaping the screams he heard at night. There'd be no more covering his eyes and pretending he didn't know what was going on. He was free.

    Unfortunately.

    Whether he liked it or not he would find himself in a school with snobby jerks much like his step father. Amongst all the glitz and glam, the foreign teachers who were suppose to show them all different aspects on life. He didn't care much for what those people had to offer because behind all of that, they were just like every other teacher he had, stuck in a job where they're unhappy regardless of the pay.

    They had escaped a life of mystery in New York to start anew in Seoul, where his mother grew up. She rarely spoke of her childhood or her parents. Everything was just kept secret much like anything else in his mother's life. He was never so curious as to ask her, so those things just stayed in the past. And for his mother's sake, it was for the best.

    Jungkook padded down the spiral staircase, still amazed by how simplistic and well made every thing in the house was though he'd never say it aloud and give his step father the satisfaction of seeing him gush over his home. The 16 year old didn't care much for the man. He had beady bird like eyes that judged you carefully, picking you to pieces. He was balding and had a bit too much fat in his mid section, probably from late nights at the office and the usual midnight snack of chicken and beer.

    His step father's suits always reeked of a smelly cologne, sweat, and alcohol. He hated it and he hated him. No matter how long he was forced to live with him, he'd never get use to him. And it seemed his step father felt the same.

    He stopped dead in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs, eyeing his step father carefully as the man's lips pulled into a smile that resembled the drawn on smile of a clown. Jungkook bowed politely before brushing past him and speeding down the foyer into the living room where his mother sat at the white grand piano in the far corner of the big room. It was positioned in front of a big window that took up the entire side wall.

    "Jungkook, come. We have things to talk about." She gestured towards the bench beside her for him to sit down.

    Reluctantly, he walked slowly across the spacious living room, taking his time as if the floor was made of glass. And to him it might as well have been considering how the house was more windows than walls. Perfect. More reason for him to hate his new home.

    His mother smiled softly when he finally reached her. He sat down beside her with a blank expression. She tucked a immaculate dyed strand of blonde hair behind her ear, showcasing a big shiny diamond nestled perfectly in a gold base. It was typical of her to brag about what her new husband gave her.

    "Nice earrings, mom. They must've cost a fortune." Jungkook said, emotionless.

    She beamed, her lips pulled into a wide smile, the lipstick on her lips cracking. He was suppose to be happy for her. As a son it was his duty to make his mom happy and assure everyone else did as well, but for many reasons, he could not. Looking at her smile and the way she seemed so happy and in love, sickened him. If it was one person in the world who was good at hiding who they truly were, it was his mother.

    "It was a gift from your father," she began, "He said the diamonds looked beautiful against my pale skin." She giggled, recalling his exact words. "Anyway, he got something for you, too." She handed him a thick envelope.

    "Oh nice. You get expensive jewelry and I get a bunch of paper that is probably sending me off to boarding school." He snatched it out of her hand, tearing it open and reading the words on the cover of the packet. "A Home For Daisies: A school for the socially inept.' You're kidding, right?"

    "Noah thought that-"

    "- his name is Sungmin! Who does he think he is? Now that you've been married for two months you're already letting him call the shots? I'm your son or have you forgotten that now that you're wearing fifty thousand dollar earrings and designer clothes?"

    The woman paled, reaching her hand out to touch his shoulder. "Honey, please. He's your father now and you have to treat him with respect! I raised you better than this."

    He scoffed. "My father is dead! The only thing you've even done for me is getting me outta that house. I raised myself with Rosa's help."

    He hated doing it. He didn't like yelling at his mom, but she didn't get it. She'd never get it.

    "I'm not going to this school. There's nothing wrong with me, you know. Don't let this man make decisions for you. I thought you changed." He hopped up off the bench, sparing her one last glance before running towards the front door, sliding into his sneakers and off into the foggy morning.

    The streets of Gangnam were full of people heading to work or to school. Jungkook felt out of place among the hordes of people. He regretted rushing out of the house without grabbing a jacket to keep warm. There were a lot of things he regretted like yelling at his mother, blaming her for everything. But it was her fault regardless of how bad he felt about telling her that. The reason he was so messed up was her fault.

    He didn't have enough money for a cab or to ride the bus. As a matter of fact, he didn't even have a cell phone to call his mother for a ride home. It didn't matter. She'd come looking for him if she cared enough.

The 16 year old boy stuffed his blue hands in his pockets, breath coming out in a billow of smoke. It was colder than he thought it was. He rushed into a convenience store using the change he had on him to buy a cup ramen, despite the struggle he had to understand the currency and the accent the man had. He wasn't in America anymore. Things were gonna be harder.

    With the cup of ramen in hand he filled it with hot water, then took it to a table by the window. If the sight of him without a jacket and shivering didn't spell pathetic, then he didn't know what did. Jungkook wanted to cry, to scream, to chuck his cup ramen at someone's head. He was in no mood to speak or be near anyone and he showed that by his bad posture and the scowl on his handsome face that was scarred a lot for a teen.

    Despite that, a girl who looked to be about his age or younger, sat down in the seat beside him, bimbap in hand. She was in her school uniform with a huge male jacket over it, she wore big black battered boots and had a Band-Aid under her right eye. The girl's skirt was a bit too big and she wore her gym pants underneath. He looked at her with slight disgust as if he had the nerve to judge her. He felt like he did anyway.

    "I'm Hyemin. Kim Hyemin. You looked cold so take this." She took off the big coat revealing another one underneath. She handed him the big one.

    He knew that if he took it she'd think they were cool, but he was so cold and didn't think it through. Jungkook grabbed the coat, quickly putting it on without saying a word.

    "Thank you, Hyemin." She said to herself in place of him. "Always such a good person. Good job bud." Hyemin grins, a mouth full of metal greeting him. 

    He ignored her, digging into his ramen instead. Jungkook was never much of a peoples person. He tended to keep to himself and mind his business wherever he went. There were never people interested enough in him to ever become friends. He didn't have any and he was fine with that. In New York, if you didn't want to be bothered no one bothered you, but for whatever reason, something possessed Hyemin to come and speak to him.

    Coat or no coat, he wasn't up for making friends with a girl like her. She could be the prettiest girl in the world under all the cuts and bruises on her face and he'd still never even blink his eyes towards her. He wasn't interested in girls. He wasn't gay either. Things like relationships and friendships and all that other stuff seemed pointless and a waste of time. In the end people were only worrying for themselves and didn't care who they had to push over to get what they wanted. That was a part of life and unlike a lot of people his age, he was okay with that.

    Life and that was okay.

    "You don't talk much, do you? Usually people would at least tell me to piss off, but you're quiet. Are you a mute? Of course you are." She continued to talk to Jungkook informally, ignoring the glares he shoot her way. He hated people like her. People like his mother.

    People who answered their own questions and never really actually wanted a reply anyway. She was nothing like his mom yet reminded him so much of her.

    Jungkook quickly finished his ramen and stood up abruptly, startling the girl. "You speak to me as if we're friends. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. Goodbye." He handed her the coat back, then hurried out the door, bells ringing behind him.

    The phrase that every person is different had never made sense to Jungkook since every single human being desired the same things, lusted after the same fantasies, and cried over the same useless worries. Everyone thought they were all so different, so special and unique, but they were all very much like his mother and father: useless or dead. And like everyone else he himself was put in a category of it's own. Jungkook was invisible to everyone around him. Almost as if he didn't exist at all.

    Although he didn't mind it one bit. Solitary meant he didn't have to deal with the ignorance of mankind. He was okay. He had to keep telling himself that to survive.

    A hand grabbed his shoulder before he could cross the street, pulling him backwards. Hyemin looked at him with worry in her dark eyes. He would've melted under her gaze if he was anyone else. She had an intensity about her that should've made his heart skip a beat, made his hands sweaty. It didn't. All it did was make him sick to his stomach. 

    "Pay attention. The light is green."

    He turned towards traffic, shock replacing his expressionless face. Cars sped by at speed that would've crushed him if he had kept going. Hyemin removed her hand, smiling. She stepped in front of him, leaning in on the tip of her toes to kiss his motionless body. Her lips grazed his, snapping him back into reality as if a bucket of cold water was thrown on him. He grabbed her arms, yanking her away from him, hard.

    Jungkook didn't notice the stares from the people around them because of his action. He was angry, embarrassed that she would do such a thing in public. Her facial expression tethered on the edge of confusion and some other emotion that he was unsure of. An unmistakable heat surrounded them, blocking out the cold of the end of winter. 

    People pushed past them, loud and angry. The heat grew as they stared in each other's eyes and for the first time since he met her he actually saw her. Not the girl with the braces and the scars and the ill fitting clothes or the lopsided bob she sported. He saw a girl with eyes full of emotion, of fire. And just as soon as he saw it it disappeared, blowing away with the wind.

    He never understood it.

    How much alike people could be despite how much they tried to be different. Whether or not Hye Min was one of those people confused him. She wasn't dead, but a part of him didn't think she was useless. Maybe she was like him. Invisible to everyone around her.

    You're either useless or dead, he reminded himself. Being invisible is just as bad as being dead. He might as well have been buried along side his father in America. At least then he'd be truly free.

    She had a smile back on her face. A smile that would haunt him from then on. Hye Min took off her name tag and placed it in Jungkook's hand. "Give me this back when we meet again."

    It wasn't a question or a favor. It was a demand that he found himself nodding to. She smiled at him one last time before running in the direction they came from. He gripped the nametag tightly, yelling out behind her. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

    People passing him gave him looks. He was too tired to care. Just too tired. Even though he didn't want to return home, it was the only logical thing to do. He had no money and it was freezing outside. Maybe he'd just have to accept going to A Home for Daisies even if it bruised his pride.

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author says - 
I honestly didn't know how to start this story, but here it is and it is short. Next chapter will be longer and hopefully better. I'm trying to pace myself with this story and not rush, but i at planning stories and this is just being winged. next chapter soon. xo.