1 week, 3 days,4 hours, and 23 minutes later, and with a small loan from Ms. Yang, Jung Yonghwa was in Korea.

It was surreal.

After not being in one’s home country for such a long time, you tend to lose touch with all that was familiar to you.

But once he was there, everything felt familiar again.

Even simply walking down the sidewalk of midday Seoul held some little significance for him.

He was aimlessly walking around, allowing his feet to take him wherever they thought he ought to be.

It was interesting when he thought about it.

One never really took the time to fully comprehend the little things of your home.

Left, right, left, right.

Apparently it had rained in Korea as well, for that day there were many random puddles placed unevenly across the city, allowing his shoes to make a squish sound with every step he took.

He caught a glimpse of himself in one of the puddles; he looked tired, worn out and had forgotten to shave his little stubble.

Suddenly he wondered, how did she look?

Did she finally lose that baby face that she had had since childhood?

Has she gotten taller? Skinnier? Is her hair the same color? Does she still use the same shampoo? Was she still a health freak?

Were they still married?

So many questions ran through his mind at that moment.

It was only then that he felt the weight of everything crash down on him.

How much he had missed her, her comforting words, her lovely singing voice, the disgusted face she made when he bought them fast food.

Had he really missed that much?

He heard an extra loud squish and looked down.

His blasted feet had led him to hill where they had spent their priceless moments, the rain leaving the typically dry dirt wet and muddy.

Why did memories always have to come in huge bursts, even though your brain knew that it couldn’t handle them at once?

Why did emotions have to control your senses so much? Control up until the point where he found himself walking towards the hill and planting himself on the ground, not caring that his bottom was getting muddy.

He sat.

He stopped.

He stared.

He stared at nothingness.

Nothing but bleakness and gray over a dull horizon.

Honestly, what did he expect to get out of this?

Piece of mind?

An easier life?

A settled heart?

If only life was as easy as a romantic comedy.

“Oppa?”

That sweet voice.

Calling out to him.

He smiled a bittersweet smile and looked to his right.

There she was.

Even on the bleakest, dreariest, most depressing day in the history of the universe

He stood and brushed mud off of his bottom

She stared back with an adorably blank expression.

They stood like that for well over a minute, neither of them speaking a word.

“Ju Hyun.”

He could hardly believe that she was right there in front of him.

He could hardly believe how much he wanted to cry.

He could hardly believe that he didn’t know why.

So he did the one thing he was sure he wanted to do.

He hugged her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she wrapped hers around his neck.

His breathing felt hitched for a moment,

This was too surreal.

She felt like a missing puzzle piece to his soul, his heart, his body.

She just fit him so perfectly.

And she wasn’t his.

He felt her breathe against his neck, and felt his fingers run themselves lightly through her hair.

As though it were the last time.

He had never thought it was possible to feel extremely elated and extremely heartbroken all at the same time.

They pulled away and she smiled at him.

He smiled back.

She didn’t look that different.

She had lighter hair yes, but she still had her signature chipmunk cheeks and her innocent doe eyes.

She had a glimmer in her eyes, a mature glimmer, one he knew he had never been able to give her.

“We have a lot of catching up to do, oppa!”

He smiled, as he stealthily removed his hands from her waist.

She wasn’t his.

He didn’t have the right.

At least, not anymore.

“Why don’t we go to the café? For old times’ sake?” He offered shyly, ignoring the eruption of his heart as she linked arms with him and said,

“Lead the way, oppa!”

*                                                              *                                                                  *

It was warm in the café.

Was it warm because of the actual facility itself, or was it warm because she was next to him?, her ever curious eyes roaming the place even though they had been their multiple times since high school.

She looked at the menu with her intrigued eyes.

He looked at her and gave out an inaudible sigh.

What the hell was he doing to himself?
“Oppa, I’m going to have the hazelnut coffee. What about you?” Seohyun said, turning to him with a bright smile.

Oh how he wished he could be as happy for her as he wanted to be.

 “I’ll just have mine black, Ju Hyun-ah.” He said with a weak smile.

“Jjinja? You never used to take your coffee black.”

“Well, living in New York gets you used to different things.”

Minutes later they were seated at a booth with both of their coffee in front of their respective person.

Seohyun immediately took up to drinking hers, while Yonghwa tapped another uneven rhythm into the side of his cup, feeling content at just watching her.

He turned away and focused on two raindrops clinging to the window.

One was making a trail, chasing its way as fast it could towards one raindrop that was steadily making its way down the glass surface.

Just when it was close enough fuse into the second raindrop, it had already changed its path, leaving the first raindrop alone as they slid in opposite directions.

 “How’s everything in New York?” Seohyun asked, breaking his train of thought.”Jonghyun didn’t give me many details about what you were doing and how you were.”

“It’s lovely.” Yonghwa said, finally sipping the bitter dark brown concoction he had ordered.

Never had something bitter tasted so sweet.

Once he looked at her again he realized how grim he sounded.

“I’m actually seeing someone.” He said, chuckling in the irony.

Seohyun’s ears perked up, ”Really?”

“Mmhmm.” He took another sip. It could use a little milk now that he thought about it. ”Likes cats. Older woman.51 line.”

Seohyun looked confused for a moment, but the all too familiar mischievous glint in Yonghwa’s eyes told her that he was joking.

“Oppa! Seriously.” She chuckled.

“It’s pretty nice. The older woman I’m seeing is my landlady. I’m not joking about seeing her. She’s like a stalker, but like a grandmother at the same time. My apartment has a great view and my students are…interesting.”

“You sound like you’re having fun.” Seohyun smiled innocently.

Yonghwa caught the hidden meaning behind her words.

He knew her too well.

She was never the greatest at hiding her feelings.

He slipped his hand on top of her free one, heart lurching at the touch of her skin beneath his, feeling that her fingers were as strong as they were 3 years before.

It had really been too long.

“I missed you.”

It was odd, hearing those words come from himself.

He had tried not to, he didn’t want to miss her.

Why?

Because missing her meant admitting to an attachment.

And attachment to her would only lead to more heartache than he could handle at this point.

But deep down, he knew he couldn’t deny it.

She smiled.

“I missed you too, oppa. But, I guess I couldn’t expect you to be around forever.”

Yonghwa’s heart panged.

She would never understand the meaning behind her words.

He wanted to be around her forever, to kiss her, hug her, hold her close.

He would have loved to.

But, no.

Siwon beat him to it.

Yonghwa’s left hand began unintentionally clenching and unclenching.

He had to remind himself that the only person he could blame was himself.

“ Yeah, I guess so.”

He couldn’t think of anything to say, and he couldn’t gather the strength to withdraw his hand.

Suddenly, Seohyun’s eyes sparkled and brightened, ”Oppa, you should come to my apartment tomorrow! The kids would love to meet my best friend!”

Kids.

Kids.

Kids.

They had been married for 3 years and already had kids, Yonghwa bitterly thought.

He didn’t know what happened to him at that moment, but he felt a shatter within his body.

A deep centered shattering deep within his chest that caused an unfathomable amount of pain in his heart.

Never in his life had he felt so pathetic and hopeless.

She has kids.

He was still in love with a woman who was married and had kids.

When Yonghwa thought of it like that, the absurdity crashed down so badly that he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

That’s when he realized that she assumed the laugh went to her, and he blurted out without thinking, ”That would be nice.”

Seohyun smiled and shifted her hand so that she was squeezing his.

He looked at their commingled hands, and then back at her.

It’s okay, he told himself, My pain doesn’t matter…so long as she’s happy.

It’s a shame he couldn’t convince himself that was true.

A/N

YONGHWA SHALL NOT SUFFER FOREVAH.

I pinky promise :D