I think, you are the same as me. Full of colors, full of shapes, scattered wings and overlaping shadows.

My memories are odd, what I remember, what I want to remember, how it actually happened created an abstract congestion. I live in a lot of cages, one by one the padlock gave up and I'm wandering in my own light, witnessing all of them within their own enclosure. But how safe are they? The fear which plague me because they're locked, or was it because I'm the only one out here?

The most brutal, guilt free and clear memory which I remember perfectly from when I was little was when I pour water on a poor kitten which I strangle with bare hand. The kitten was cute, so very cute. Yet the urge to wrapped my fingers around the furry being intensify as the pressure elicit a strange strained noises from the kitten. The sound displeased me, so uncute, not pretty and water drowns it. When I first saw the kitten I just want to pat it because it looks so cute, since when the objective changed?

In junior high my hobby is, meeting my fist to other's noses, mouth or eyes. Those areas seems pretty delicate for a blow, easy to break and the crackling noises when bones broke excite me very much. But it's not beautiful, not pretty and caused me more trouble than it worth. I found that words are very manipulative, certain tones of voice cause an interesting effect on brain waves. After that my hobby changed, playing dolls are quite fun, especially when I create something painted by my own color. They are so easy to control, it can be quite boring, so sometimes I let chaos growing within them.

In college I was quite stupid, if only I had played it safe, those police and crazy psychriatics won't be taking my toy. Damn, and I shaped him quite long too. Safe is a word never exist in my dictionary, but I would rather be careful since it could be quite troublesome if someone is able to sniff me. But well, what to be careful about when my smell can only be sniffed by my kind?

Lee Donghae did, that was quite a surprise. A big one.

He was the typical good natured kid, outwardly. At first I didn't really take notice of him, not until I saw his fist tighten, eyes darken and his surrounding color wave out like thick dark mist full of poison. I saw the kid me inside him, the hands which strangled the kitten and drown the ugly pleas. And as he can sniff me, I sniff back, a smirk adorning my face. What color would come out if I mix mine with his? I laughed in full satisfaction later that night, the image of his dark piercing gaze on me never fade. I found a fellow friend.

"Did you know that our basic instinct is to crush the weaker?" I said as an opening to our first conversation.

"The jungle laws?"

"If you found a little bird on the ground, unable to go anywhere, so very little and hopeless. What would you do? Leave it be or crush it?"

The glint in his eyes change as it piercing my eyes and he dipped his chin lower, an intimidation. Words are lies as it powerful, but body signs never lies, no matter how good the person at altering it, truth would still spilling out. And Lee Donghae being effective as he knows it well, leaving me giddy with all our colors took a similar shape. The same kind, the same intellegence. How amazing is that?

"My teeth and claws are clean although my gut isn't," he said solemnly, "I'm not like you."

A full grin formed on my plump lips, "then how are you able to know me?"

"You challenged me."

"A prey won't be able to notice it, it's a hunt. But a predator took it as a challenge, aren't they?"

"Is that you being on top of your world gives you satisfaction?" He titled his head in a mock.

"Or is that you watching in the sidelines over their stupidity and filthy minds gives you satisfaction?"

He narrowed his eyes, offended by my taunt and smiles. He was aware for living in the rough edges, why not make him fall?

"Some of them did pretty much the same thing as you, but I have clear conscience, I won't fall for your trap."

"Believe me Donghae, I don't need trap to pull you in, you're there already," I leaned closer to whisper the words almost on his lips, "you're just closing your eyes."

He didn't answer, he didn't react and stepping away silently as if he forgot I was still there. But it was the reaction I need.

Sorry very very short.