Over the next two days Kyuhyun’s life consisted of feeling sorry for himself, feeling ashamed of his behavior, regretting several choices, refusing to leave his room, surfing the internet for pictures of himself and Siwon the night of their date, and then more pandering to his self loathing.

He spent most of his time in bed, with the blankets pulled over his head. As far as his work knew, he had a horrible case of the flu and wouldn’t be back for several more days. His parents had extended their vacation by another week, which worked out in Kyuhyun’s favor, and his sister had yet to notice either her missing clothing, or the fact that he was three seconds away from swallowing the bottle of asprin in the medicine cabinet.

Well, maybe he wasn’t quite suicidal, but there was a burning ache of pain in his chest for both himself and Siwon, and no matter what he tried, he couldn’t get it to go away.

He was just so ashamed.

Siwon didn’t deserve to be tricked, all so Kyuhyun could keep his cover. And even more, Kyuhyun felt shame that he’d enjoyed his time with Siwon so much. No matter which way he tried to swing it, he’d loved every second he was with Siwon. They’d been able to talk to each other so easily, had similar likes and dislikes, shared the same passion for music, had great chemistry, and aside from one glaring detail, they were perfect for each other.

That glaring detail being that Kyuhyun wasn’t a girl, and he didn’t think Siwon preferred the company of boys.

He had to stop looking at the pictures. He had to.

But one more glance down to his phone, to a popular Super Junior blogging site, revealed that the night of their date, whoever had followed them had gotten some nice pictures. Despite the drizzle of rain going on around them, the pictures, and there were about a hundred of them, clearly showed Kyuhyun’s profile as he leaned up into a wickedly wonderful kiss. In the photos they looked absolutely enamored with each other, as if no one else in the world mattered, and even better were the pictures of them laughing as they dashed away.

The pictures were a horrible reminder to Kyuhyun that he’d had that brief happiness.

He’d stopped reading the comments, however. It was glaringly obvious, from the first page of comments on the pictures, that Siwon’s fans thought Kyung was a tramp or worse. Most of them thought she wasn’t even that pretty. One or two had called her manly looking.

It was enough to get a chuckle out of Kyuhyun. If only they knew.

Something heavy pounded on Kyhyun’s door and he ignored it. Why couldn’t the world just go on ignoring him? He just wanted to be left alone to shrivel out of existence.

Sometimes Kyuhyun thought he should have gone into acting, instead of music at the university.

“Kyuhyun!”

Kyuhyun winced. That was Changmin.

For two das Kyuhyun had been ignoring his phone calls and texts. The first day they’d started coming in, at least in a mass amount, they’d been teasing and childish and even hurtful. The day after that they’d been slightly more worried, but Kyuhyun hadn’t wanted to deal with them then, either.

He’d known Changmin since they were kids. They’d grown up together, and been best friends almost as long as they’d been alive. But that only meant Changmin knew exactly the things to say to get under his skin, and this was one time Kyuhyun just couldn’t deal with him.

“I’m coming in!”

“Go away!” Kyuhyun called out, but his voice was mostly muffled by the blanket over his head.

A second later Kyuhyun heard the heavy thumps of Changmin’s feet on the hardwood floor of his room, and just after that Changmin was whipping the blanket off him.

“Knock it off!” Kyuhyun said sharply.

“Seriously?” Changmin asked with an arched eyebrow. “Are you seriously lying in bed, in pajamas that you probably put on more than a day ago, being a whiny little brat.”

“Go away, Changmin.”

“And what’s this?” Changmin wrestled his phone from his grasp. “We already agreed you make a cute girl, Kyu. Stop your ego.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kyuhyun ground out. It was too much of a reminder that Siwon had called him Kyu. Kyuhyun had liked it best when he did, because for just that moment, for one brief point in time, he could pretend like Siwon was seeing him, and not some fake identity cooked up to win a dare. “And give me my phone back!”

Kyuhyun snatched at it desperate, swiping the screen to get rid of the pictures. He was sick of looking at them anyway. He was sick of remembering that when he’d been with Siwon, racing all over Seoul, being spontaneous and free, those had been the best hours of his life.

Followed by the worst.

“Are you going to lie in bed all day today, too?” Changmin asked, crossing his arms.

“Why are you here?”

“You think I want to be?” Changmin snorted. “Minho, Jonghyun and I drew lots. I lost.”

Kyuhyun made a dive for his blankets, feeling anger at Changmin. “No one asked you to come here, so get the out!”

Changmin’s head cocked. “Moody .”

“You know what? you.” It felt good to have the blanket around him again. Almost like a layer of protection. “I don’t need you be here making fun of me, Changmin. Maybe this is one big joke to you, and whatever if it is, but I feel horrible right now. I feel like I am a horrible person and I have never been this sorry in my life.”

“Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhung rolled away from Changmin, putting his back to his friend. “I really liked him, Changmin. You can feel free to make fun of me over that at a later date, but I really liked him and I had to hurt him to protect him from what would have happened if anyone ever learned the truth. I let myself get in too deep with him, even though I knew it was wrong, and I let myself feel … I don’t know.”

“Kyuhyun,” Chanmin said softly. “I didn’t--”

“So just go away,” Kyuhyun interrupted. “Let me wallow here like the moody little you claim I am. Let me just deal with what’s going on in my head and my heart, because I feel like I’m going to break into a million tiny pieces and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to get past this. So please. Please go. Please leave me alone. Just go.”

Silence fell over the room and Kyuhyun snuck his head back under the blankets. He could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall across the room and nothing else.

Kyuhyun felt a weight settle on the side of his bed and gentle hands peeled back the blankets.

“Kyuhyun,” Changmin said, his voice quiet and soothing. “I’m sorry. I thought … this was just a joke to you.”

Kyuhyun to his back, feeling his eyes burn. “It started that way, Changmin. But now the joke’s on me.”

Changmin paused, mouth pursed, then nudged Kyuhyun and said, “Scoot over. Make room for me.” He laid down next to Kyuhyun, their heads only inches apart, reminding Kyuhyun of when they’d been younger and slept over at each other’s houses. Kyuhyun’s bed was never big enough for the both of them, but they’d crowded into each other’s space like it meant nothing, and ended up twisted together in sleep more nights than not.

“I really liked him, Min.”

“You really told him you weren’t a girl?”

Kyuhyun gave a dry laugh. “He was begging me. He was on his knees, begging me to know why I was refusing him. I thought there was absolutely no way he’d let me go until I told him the truth, so I did.” It hadn’t been his finest moment ever, and he could have been gentler about it. “I ripped my wig off and told him I was sorry about a million times.”

“You must have been some sight.”

Kyuhyun sighed. “The look on his face …”

Kyuhyun’s arm looped through Changmin’s and he pressed their heads together.

Changmin shuffled even closer and reminded, “There was no way this was going to end well, right? This Siwon guy, he thought you were a girl. No matter what you did, you couldn’t make that the truth.”

“I know,” Kyuhyun said glumly. “I just … I more than liked him, Changmin. He’s the first person I’ve felt a connection with. The first guy that … I could be with and be myself with.”

“He won’t be the last,” Changmin said comfortingly. “Kyuhyun, I know things are hard for you right now. I know it that you can’t openly love who you want to, and you have to be very careful when dating. Life just for you sometimes. I get it. And I’m your best friend, so I’m always going to be here for you to lean on and rely on and whatever else you need. But I’m telling the truth when I say you will find someone who loves you for you. God, one who isn’t interested in you because they think you’re a girl.”

Changmin was … an sometimes. He could be brash and crude and had no problem speaking his mind. But Kyuhyun knew he was reliable to a fault. He was loyal and brave and there was no one else Kyuhyun would want standing by his side.

“We had something,” Kyuhyun said, trying to describe what he had felt with Siwon. “A connection. I think that’s rare, Changmin, when two people have it just like we did. It doesn’t come easy for most couples.”

“You weren’t a couple.”

Kyuhyun admitted, “I guess not. We only had one date.”

“And I don’t think he’s gay.”

“Even if he were,” Kyuhyun said, feeling his fingers clutch Changmin’s, “he couldn’t be publicly.”

“So.” Changmin leveled himself up a little, looking down at Kyhyun. “What are you going to do about all this?”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes. “Just lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. Yep. That.”

“Kyuhyun.” Changmin knocked him in the shoulder.

The truth was …

“I just want to see him again,” Kyuhyun voiced. “I just want to see him one more time and apologize again. I want to properly explain to him that none of this was his fault, and make sure he understands that I didn’t do this to hurt him. I want to swear to him I won’t ever go to the media and make his life horrible, I won’t ever contact him again, and I’ll spend the rest of my life repenting.”

Changmin gave him a guarded look. “That would really help you? That would mean something? To grovel for his forgiveness?”

“It would,” Kyuhyun said simply. “Because I really think he liked me as much as I liked him. The only difference is, he was being honest, and I was being a liar. Groveling is the least I can do, for playing with his heart. For hurting him. Changmin, I don’t think I can start to forgive myself unless I know he forgives me first.”

Changmin gave a grunt and wrapped an arm around Kyuhyun. “You’re nothing but trouble, brother.”

Kyuhyun ventured, “You didn’t really pull the short straw, did you?”

“No,” Changmin said easily enough. “You know I didn’t.”

Moments like these were why Changmin was his best friend. And Kyuhyun was never more thankful to have him.

Three days into his self induced exile Kyuhyun began to go stir crazy. He was absolutely still heartbroken about the way things had happened with Siwon, but he couldn’t lay in bed anymore. He couldn’t ignore the world around him, or his job, or the fact that he still had a bunch of summer schoolwork to get caught up on before the next semester started.

And truthfully going to work was a decent distraction. He could do his summer schoolwork during his breaks, and for the most of the day, it meant his mind was preoccupied enough that he didn’t have time to think about Siwon.

It worked for about a day.

He was washing dishes the second work stopped being a distraction.

Up to his elbows in suds he heard one of his coworkers call for him to help at the front register. “Coming!” he called back, but he’d really just wanted a few minutes of peace.

“Cash register three,” he’d been told, and sure enough there was a distinctly male customer waiting already, head down as he stared at his phone, baseball cap pulled low over his forehead, a much too heavy coat for summer on his body.

“Sir?” Kyuhyun called out, wiping his employee badge to open the register. “I can help you now.” He could see why he’d been called to help. The store was even more packed than usual.

“Can you?” the man lifted his head and Kyuhyun felt his stomach drop to his knees.

He imagined he made a sight, sickly pale and panicked looking. But it was all he could not to turn on heel and run. “Siwon.”

“No oppa this time?”

Siwon looked … tired. That was the best way Kyuhyun could think to describe him. He seemed like he hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in a while, or that he was overly stressed. Kyuhyun wondered if that was his fault. It probably was.

“No,” Kyuhyun said, shaking his head. “Hyung.”

Siwon gave Kyuhyun a long look over, making Kyuhyun feel quite small.

Eventually Siwon said, “So this is the real you. This is Cho Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun refused to be cowed by Siwon. He’d done wrong by the man, and he deserved to pay for that, but he wouldn’t be intimidated or harassed.

Quietly, Kyuhyun asked, “Why are you here?”

Siwon held his gaze easily, like he’d finally come to grips with something. “Because you have a very annoying friend.”

“Huh?”

Siwon shook his head. “When is your next break? I think we need to talk.”

Kyuhyun didn’t get to take that break for another hour, and honestly he was afraid that Siwon would leave before then. But, identity protected, Siwon sat in the furthest corner of the café, ordered a coffee and a pastry, and waited patiently.

Having Siwon in the shop, so near him despite how things had ended between them, was nerve-racking. More than once Kyuhyun messed up an order, dropped something, or generally made a nuisance of himself.

It was possible his boss sent him on his break to just get him out of the way.

“We can go now,” Kyuhyun said, having taken off his apron to approach Siwon. He was incredibly self conscious of the unflattering white shirt and black pants he wore. Before, the last time Siwon had come to the store, Kyuhyun had been thankful. But then he’d been Kyungji.

It was late enough in the day that they could snag an outside table at a nearby restaurant. Kyuhyun thought he had just enough time to get railed for his deplorable behavior and then make it back for the rest of his shift.

Five minutes after sitting down Siwon stirred a straw through his ice tea and said, “I thought you were devious. You’ve got nothing on your friend.”

“I’m still confused,” Kyuhyun said. And when Siwon gave him a long look, he protested, “I’m not lying! I never … I never thought I’d ever see you again. Except maybe on the television.”

Finally Siwon gave a firm nod and said, “Your best friend has been stalking Super Junior for several days.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes bulged. “Changmin!”

“He didn’t give his name,” Siwon said, “but I imagine it was him, considering he was relentless until I agreed to speak to him. At which point he threatened me if I didn’t agree to come and speak to you. To let you say your peace.”

Kyuhyun slumped immediately in his chair, running a hand over his face. “God. Siwon. I’m so sorry.”

“Leeteuk hyung wasn’t very happy, and neither were our managers, but maybe they were also a little impressed. He got his hands on our schedule, our place of residence’s gate and elevator code, and he was very, very vocal until I agreed to talk to him.”

“He threatened you?” Kyuhyun winced. He took a deep breath and bowed his head. “I’m truly very sorry for his actions. I don’t … know what’s come over him, or why he would do that. I can’t believe he would threaten you!”

“He did. Several times.”

Kyuhyun dug his hands into his hair, pulling slightly. “I’m going to call him right after this and yell at him. He has no right to threaten you. I swore to you, Siwon, I would never hurt you or Super Junior. And I won’t let him do it, either. You don’t have to worry about him saying anything about what I did to you to anyone. I’ll make sure he keeps his mouth shut and--”

“That’s not what he threatened,” Siwon interrupted.

“No?”

“No,” Siwon said again. “He threatened to make my life a living hell. He threatened to be there every time I turned around, and to join every anti café he could find. He threatened to picket out shows, actively stir up drama on the blogs, and basically said that he would stalk and irritate me for the rest of my life if I didn’t comply. He never said anything about … what happened recently between us. Our … misunderstand.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” Kyuhyun said, but he was so relieved to know that Changmin wasn’t trying to use Kyuhyun’s mistakes against Siwon. “But still, I will speak to him. I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you again. I swear it.”

“Good.”

And that seemed to be that.

By the time Siwon stood to leave his iced tea was mostly untouched, they hadn’t ordered any real food, and Kyuhyun was left feeling that same dread in his stomach that he had right after revealing himself to Siwon. The kind that kept him bedridden for days.

“If I see him again I’ll contact the police,” Siwon said, tossing money on the table.

“You won’t,” Kyuhyun promised quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Exasperatedly, Siwon said, “You’re sorry all the time.”

Kyuhyun’s hand twisted in his lap and he locked his gaze onto them. He need to simply sit there and keep his mouth shut until Siwon was gone.

And then he needed to deal with Changmin who had no idea who he was messing with.

“Kyu … Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun looked up, surprised to find Siwon still standing there.

“Yes?”

Something between a grimace and a wince vaguely resembling determination twisted across Siwon’s face. “I want to know one thing.”

“Anything.” And Kyuhyun tried to remember what Siwon looked like smiling at him. It was a picture he could no longer capture in his mind.

Voice low, Siwon asked, “How much of it was real? And how much was a lie?”

Kyuhyun stared at him dumbly for a moment.

Nearby a waitress was starting to approach them, but she quickly turned and fled back inside the moment she felt the tension radiating from their direction.

This was it, Kyuhyun told himself. This was the moment.

He cleared his throat, sat up fully and said, “The only thing that was a lie, the absolute only thing, was that you thought I was a girl the entire time.”

“All the stories you told me? All the things you said to me?”

“All of it was the truth and what I genuinely thought,” Kyuhyun said, trying not to sound like he was begging Siwon to believe him.

“And your feelings for me?”

“Oh, god,” Kyuhyun choked out. “So real.” He put his face in his hands out of shame. He was well beyond a simple crush with Siwon. This wasn’t even infatuation. This was something much stronger, and more dangerous. “I think I’ve been in love with the idea of you for a long time, and then when I got a chance to have you for real, even if it was just for a few hours, I jumped at the chance. I didn’t think about your feelings, only about my own, and how much I wanted to have you notice me. I was stupid and selfish and I can tell you with absolutely certainty right now that what I feel for you is much more than I could have ever thought about faking.”

And now Siwon was probably properly disgusted with him.

“I don’t expect you’ll forgive me,” Kyuhyun said, shoulders slumping. “How could you forgive someone who lied to you and played with your heart and made you feel things that aren’t … natural.”

He was typically so comfortable with his uality. He was even proud of it, some days. But now, seeing his manipulations come to full light, he just felt like it was the biggest burden he’d ever shouldered.

He could barely believe Siwon as the man moved back to the table, pulling his chair out with one solid scraping sound. Siwon made up for it by sitting silently, folding his hands on top the table and staring at Kyuhyun wordlessly.

“I shouldn’t have let things progresses,” Kyuhyun said. “I hurt you and I hurt myself. I know I’ve said it so much that you’re probably tried of hearing it, but I’m so deeply sorry. I will never do anything like this again in my life and I will spent a great deal of time thinking about the consequences of my actions.”

Dryly, Siwon asked him, “This started out as a bet?”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun said, quickly jumping at the chance to further their conversation.

“Cross dressing was part of the bet?”

Kyuhyun sighed. “No. The bet was to go to a Super Junior fan event and get proof in the form of signatures that I was actually there. Well, the truth is, I suggested the Super Junior event because I’d been following the group for a very long time. I’m a huge fan. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“And you thought dressing up as a girl would be the best way to get those signatures you needed?”

“No,” Kyuhyun said, cracking the tiniest of smiles. “I was just ashamed at the idea of anyone from my school or work seeing me there. Considering all that’s happened since then, I feel pretty stupid about it. I’m a fan, you know? I love the music and I respect how hard you all work. Why should I care if people judge me for being male and liking Super Junior?” He paused to gather his thoughts. “I thought I could blend in if I dressed as a girl, and it was only supposed to be for a few hours. Things just … got out of hand.”

Siwon was silent again for a while, and behind him the waitress was looking like she wanted to try inching her way over again.

“I saw you in line,” Siwon said abruptly. “I know I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating.”

“Oh.”

Wasn’t that every fan girl’s absolute dream? To be noticed by the idol they coveted?

Kyuhyun wasn’t a girl and it was still his dream.

“I saw your hair first,” Siwon said, “because it stood out, but then I saw your face. I thought you had a unique beauty for a girl. But as a male, you’re handsome. And your face fits you better.”

Kyuhyun wasn’t sure in the least bit how to respond to such a compliment.

“You were …” Siwon looked crestfallen. “You were so prefect. Beautiful and smart, witty and funny, a little wise, a little adventurous, and everything that I wanted in a person.”

“That was all me, regardless of what gender I appeared to be,” Kyuhyun risked telling him.

Siwon gave a wry laugh. “And I was so confused. I was confused that I was attracted to you. It all makes sense now, however.”

Kyuhyun gave a deep frown. “You were … surprised?”

“I was,” Siwon replied, and gave Kyuhyung the kind of look that said he’d drown him in the nearest large body of water if he ever repeated what he was hearing.

Because … oh, god, Kyuhyun realized, Siwon was saying …

“I haven’t been attracted to a girl in a very long time,” Siwon said, tone perfectly even. “Because I’m not attracted to women in general. So imagine my surprise when I looked at you and saw someone I wanted to keep by my side. I fought so hard to keep you there. I fought so hard for something that was a lie.”

“The only thing that was a lie,” Kyuhyun implored to him, “was what you saw on the outside.”

Siwon waved a hand at him. “But it truly makes perfect sense now.”

“Maybe,” Kyuhyun said, leaning his elbows on the table.

“Maybe?”

Kyuhyun nodded. “Because gender is just a thing, Siwon, a classification. It’s something that people are attracted to on the basis of ual gratification. What I felt for you during those hours we had together, went far beyond something like that. I was falling in love with the person you are. How you acted and talked and what you thought and felt. I wasn’t falling in love with your gender. Your gender is just part of you, and it isn’t what defines you.”

Siwon’s eyebrows rose slightly. “You don’t think gender is important in terms of ual orientation?”

“I do,” Kyuhyun told him back. “I just know it didn’t matter as much to me, during dinner and then when we went to the market, as how good you made me feel about myself. I was aware the whole time that I was lying to you and myself. I was a fake. A fraud. But you were funny enough to make me forget, smart enough to keep me from lingering on what I was doing, and heartfelt enough to make me realize that you are a wonderful person, Siwon. You’re a wonderful person inside and out, and that has nothing to do with you being male. I hope, however you felt about me, had nothing to do with my gender, either.”

Siwon tapped a finger down on the table. “So what do we do now?”

Kyuhyun squeaked out a bigger smile, even if it was sadder than he wanted it to be. “We go on with our lives, Siwon. I go back to being Kyuhyun and try to pretend that Kyungji never existed. And you go back to Super Junior and date a bunch of supermodels and try to replace my pictures on all the blogs with some girl’s. Some girl who’s actually a girl.”

It was the right thing to do, even if Kyuhyun knew it would hurt deeply and terribly the first time he saw a picture of Siwon with anyone else.

“Did you miss the part where I said I’m not attracted to girls,” Siwon said, voice a low rumble.

“Oh,” Kyuhyun breathed out.

“And,” Siwon continued, his words pinched tightly, “none of them would hold a candle to you.”

Kyuhyun was absolutely certain, without any kind of exaggeration, that his heart might have stuttered a bit.

“You can’t say these things to me,” Kyuhyun replied right away. He couldn’t hear the words and then go back to his old life.

“I can’t?” Siwon challenged. “I think you’ve said your fair share, and now it’s my turn. Agreed?”

Kyuhyun gave a silent nod.

“Then listen up,” Siwon said, leaning over the table. “That day I met you, regardless that I thought you were a girl or not, was an important day for me. I knew you were special from the start, Kyuhyun, even if I didn’t know how. And then I fought to get a date from you. You didn’t make things easy in the least bit, but I persevered, because I knew you were the embodiment of all the things I wanted in a partner. And I thought I’d found them in a girl, so I was excited.”

“I’m sor--”

Siwon gave him an almost lethal stare. “If you say you’re sorry one more time.”

Kyuhyun slammed his mouth closed.

It took a moment more, but then Siwon continued, “I tracked you down and got that date from you, probably more infatuated with you at the moment that you were with me. And that date, Kyuhyun, was amazing to me. You were so easy to talk to. You listened well and you gave me the kind of advice that seemed wise and relevant. We shared the same interests, you could make me laugh, and when we had to run from those photographers, you had fun. You splashed through the puddles like a kid and made a game of it, and I thought in that second that you were the kind of a girl that I could marry. You were the girl I could show to my parents to make them less disappointed that I’d told them before in the past there’d be no daughter in law or children from a marriage.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t help butting in, regardless of how angry he might make Siwon. “We went to that arcade and even though I knew I was weak for stretching the date out and agreeing to keep the lie going a little longer, all I could think about was how I was having the best time of my life. I’ve been on dates before but none of them wanted to play air hockey with me, or asked me my opinion, or cared if my feet hurt. You made me feel special. You made me feel wanted. I’m just sorry I had to hurt you in order to feel that.”

Siwon asked, “What would you have done if I had simply let you go? Any of those times you tried to?”

“Gone home,” Kyuhyun said a bit hopelessly, “and tried to forget you. I would have … never tried to trick you again, for any reason, if that’s what you think.”

“What did you feel when I kissed you?”

“Are you kidding?” Kyuhyun asked, splaying his legs out in front of him. He let his sweaty palms rest on his pants and he sighed almost wistfully. “I felt something. I felt a connection. I felt … something I can’t explain. But I felt it. And that’s part of the reason I struggled to let you go. Because when we kissed, it felt real. Even if nothing else did.”

“I felt the same,” Siwon said, and sounded so honest it hurt Kyuhyun’s heart.

“I let you go because I had to,” Kyuhyun said, “not because I wanted to.”

Siwon reached for his ice tea, the glass streaked with lines of condensation now. He curled his big hand around it, fingers splaying, and Kyuhyun could still remember what it felt like to be held by that had.

“Then you realize there’s only one thing left for us to do. There’s only one thing we can do, in order to save the situation.”

Kyuhyun gave a shaky nod. He could absolutely do this. He’d been prepared for the moment of their final parting before. And now he had his closure. Maybe he didn’t have Siwon’s forgiveness, but he could start to work on forgiving himself now.

“I know,” Kyuhyun said, feeling a little woozy. “We have to--”

“Hi.”

Kyuhyun startled as he stared down at the hand Siwon had extended towards him. “Hi?” he offered back, more than a little confused.

“I’m Choi Siwon,” he said to Kyuhyun, hand shaking in the slightest.

Reaching out for it with a hand that Kyuhyun knew he was sweaty and probably too warm, he returned, “I’m Cho Kyuhyun.”

Siwon gave Kyuhyun a firm nod and added, “It’s a little late for lunch, and I know you have to get back to your job soon, I have a schedule to make as well, but I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me some time?”

Kyuhyun leaned forward and whispered, “What are you doing?”

Siwon ignored him, releasing his hand and continuing, “I know we just met, but I think you’re very handsome. You also appear to be charming, smart, funny, and many other attractive qualities. I’d like to take you out to dinner, where I absolutely swear on my life there will be no photographers.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t dare to let himself hope. “You can’t promise that. And the risk, if someone saw you on a date with man … what that would do to you career …”

Siwon gave him a smug look. “I don’t know about you, Cho Kyuhyun, but some things in life are worth taking a risk over. Sometimes, people are worth taking the greatest risks on. Do you agree?”

It wasn’t just Siwon’s life that would be turned upside down if anything got out. And there was absolutely no guarantee that anything with Siwon would work out in the end, anyway.

But Kyuhyun wasn’t just in love with the idea of the man anymore. He was most certainly in love with the man himself.

“I do,” Kyuhyun said slowly, hardly able to believe this was happening. “For the right person, I’d risk everything.”

“Beef then?” Siwon asked.

“Kobe,” Kyuhyun cut out with a smile. “And wine.”

Siwon settled back in his chair. “Okay, Kyuhyun. But come as you are? I’m not into dresses or wigs. Got it?”

With the waitress heading towards them with a sense of determination, Kyuhyun felt the first real smile in days, stretch across his face. “Not a problem.”